Today my dance coach and I looked at the professional routines that he is going to use for his pro-pro student. (In pro-pro competition both dancers are considered professionals but only one is being judged. In this case, his partner will be judged). Even though I just learned all of the new intermediate routines, I took one look at these routines and I decided that I want to do them.

…and he said yes. And he is letting me help do the choreography. This is real honest-to-goodness, tell a story, advanced professional level dancing. I could NOT be more excited. All of the technical problems that I was having in the intermediate routine immediately went away as we started to work on these routines. This is what usually happens and why it’s so difficult for me to do routines that are at my level. Once I jump to something that seems impossible, it’s as if my brain tells my feet "Look, we don’t have time for this petty shit any more so get the technique right, we have bigger fish to fry" and my feet and body respond and suddenly things that I have been struggling with for years just correct themselves.

The thing about the routines that we’ve been doing so far is that they are designed to simply show basic technique "Look, I can put my feet together on my turns", "look, I can close into third position for my waltz" etc. etc. There’s no story, there’s no interpretation of the music, it’s simply a show of your skills. You have to work hard to make it entertaining. I was talking to Rowdy a couple of days ago saying that there HAS to be more than this. What is the point of dancing if you are just doing it technically correctly? Dancing is about the music, it’s about the story and about using your body to tell the story. With enough practice almost anyone can have great technique but that’s not the end goal, it’s just the beginning.

At the level of dancing that I’m now doing, it’s expected that I already have great technique and so that is no longer the issues. The issue instead becomes using your body to create lines, tell a story, enhance and bring out the music. I was so excited I almost couldn’t stand still. I’m really dancing – I’m dancing at a level that I thought would take me years to reach and I’m doing it right now.

I completed the first competition of the year. Because of the ankle inujury after Nationals I haven’t been able to dance for some time. I ended up learning the intermediate two-step in four lessons and put it on the floor. I got gold. Judges told my coach that I was great. A pro I’ve never met before told me that I was “spectacular”. The event was extremely difficult – I literally only danced my two-step so counting the warm-up I danced for two minutes the entire weekend. The rest of the weekend was spent watching other people dance and watching TV in the room when that got too depressing.

I watched division II (which is where my ex-partner and I would have danced) and I can’t help being glad that we weren’t dancing. It would have just been a spectacular kicking of our asses. We were not at the point with choreography that we could have competed – we would have looked like two uncoordinated kids who stumbled onto the floor wearing glitter.

I also got to watch my coach compete with his new partner. I actually teared up. He was so completely amazing – I’ve never seen him like that. I kept sitting there thinking “I can’t believe that I get to dance with this guy”. I literally walk out on the floor with one of the best male country western dancers in the world. How freaking cool is that. It really renewed my zeal to compete because I can be that good. I’ve chosen to move slowly for two years and this is my year to go out and get it. I’m really excited.

I had a dance lesson tonight. Despite the dance injury and the fact that I haven’t been able to do my cardio and am therefore woefully out of shape, I am finally enjoying dancing again. The first three-quarters of my lesson were really difficult. We did the new, much more difficult, two-step (that I learned in three hours) to music for the first time and it fell apart. Twice. I have to compete this dance Friday night. We sat down for a minute and I reminded myself who I am and of what I am capable. I got up, we turned on the music and we danced through it flawlessly. Other students stopped their lessons to applaud as we danced by. It was easy and fun and everything that dancing is supposed to be. I can’t wait for the rest of the season. I have an idea for a new partner as well, we’ll see if it pans out… I’m going to dance nightclub this year – a slow, sexy dance that I always thought I would really love given the proper circumstances. And here I am having created the proper circumstances. Go me.

Today was my first dance lesson after my ankle injury at Nationals. The ankle was weak but not painful. I think that it’s going to be ok. In other news, I’m an out of shape blob. At this point Master P would beat me in the two-step (a dancing with the stars reference, by the way). OH…MY….GODS! It is amazing what not being able to do cardio for a couple of months will do to your cardiovascular health. That will come back though and I’m excited about being able to zoom ahead in my dancing. Yay!!!!!!

Boogiewoman?

I am listening to random music and Ani DiFranco just came on. One of my favorite lyrics ever:

Tell me who’s your boogie man
and that’s who I will be
You don’t have to like me for who I am
But we’ll see what you’re made of by what you make of me.

Today was my dance studio’s showcase. I was performing my I’m Beautiful Damn It showcase Westcoast with my pro. I really wanted the crowd to respond. My goal for this show was to be mistaken for a pro (as opposed to a student, which I am). It went extremely well. People were really connected to it and we got a standing ovation (although not from my former dance partner – so petty, so sad 😦 According to several people it was the second biggest audience response of the show (the first were the World Salsa Champions and deservedly so).

Tons of people congratulated me and one woman asked if she could take private lessons with me. When I told her that I was only a student she gave me her card and asked me to call her as soon as I started teaching lessons. Several people thought I was in the wrong act (I danced in Act 2 and the pros were in Act 3) I really did everything that I wanted to do this year – this was the last bit. I felt like a professional from the way my coach treated me to the way I danced to the way people responded and the comments that they made. I am by no means a pro and i have a loooooooooooooooooong way to go but I have now definitely turned a corner and I’m not going to turn back. I can’t wait to get back in the studio!
 

What a horrific weekend!

My first ballet recital was when I was 5 and I think I danced better that day than I did on Saturday. Both my pro and I had an extremely bad day. Eight beats into the first dance he forgot the routine and we did basics for the next 32 counts. It did not improve from there. We dance 7 dances and when we walked off the floor after the sixth dance (when I knocked his hat off and we both looked at is for six beats like it was a bomb) we just looked at each other and exploded into giggles and were barely able to get through the seventh dance.

It was really strange not having nony there. This was my first comp without him and I certainly missed the familiarity of having him there to hang out with. I will very much miss that aspect of dancing with him but I look forward to seeing him move on with a different partner.

On the way home at about 6:00 I realized that I had contracted the stomache virus that had been going around the competition. In fact, I realized just in time to ask the driver to pull the car off to the side of the road. Luckily I was riding with two of my pro’s other students both of whom are in their 50s and went immediately into mom mode so I was well taken care of 🙂 Also luckily I met a lot of bulimics when I was in therapy in high school and so I immediately asked them to take me to McDonalds for vanilla ice cream and Sprite. That made the next incident much more pleasant than the first.

I continued to be sick every two hours on the two hours until 8:30 this morning. That was the last incident so I think I’m in the clear. I’ve kept down a fudgesickle and some water so I think I’m going to be ok.

All in all it’s really pretty hilarious when you look at it.

I did learn something important. At the last comp a woman came up to me and said "You and that pro of yours are perfect for each other. You both just walk around like you own the whole fucking dance floor". After this comp one of the other competitors came up to me and said that I "didn’t have that fire" in my eyes. I watched the video and she is absolutely right. I looked like I didn’t quite know where I was. The past few weeks have put a lot of things into question and I think I started to question myself as well which is no good. I’m looking forward to walking around Nationals like I own the whole fucking floor.