Superficial Self Esteem

From my point of view, one of the most damaging things about the current slew of weight loss shows, diet books etc. is newly thin people trying on clothes, smiling into the camera and saying “I’m wearing single digits!  I finally love myself after all these years!!!!”.

If someone chooses their life partner or friends based entirely upon how they look, we call them superficial.  So why is it considered ok in our society to make our self-esteem contingent upon how we look?

I  take a decent amount of flack for being a body positive fat person.  Most recently, someone anonymously e-mailed me to say “I don’t think it’s a good thing for you to tell people it’s ok to be fat”. They said a lot of other really mean-spirited stuff, including calling me a fat bitch, but that was the gist of their argument.  I get an e-mail like this about twice a week (sometimes the writer is more respectful, but usually not).

Here’s the thing, I’m not interested in being in the business of telling other people what is or is not ok for their body.  There are size 0 women who do not have an eating disorder and are sick of people assuming that they do, or hearing bitter fat women call them “skinny bitches”.  There are healthy fat people who are sick of the death fat police telling them that if they don’t lose weight they are just going to keel over and die, or hearing insecure thin women call them “fat bitches”.

What I am trying to show people is that they can love themselves no matter what their size or what they want to do with their body.

If someone chooses to lose weight, or gain weight,  I fully support them (because, hey, it’s their decision and I want my decisions about my body and weight to be respected and supported).  I just think it’s unfortunate that they should make their self-esteem contingent upon that happening.

What about choosing to love yourself and appreciate your body for what it CAN do, and coming to your weight loss journey from that place instead of “I hope I finally stop hating myself after I lose 50lbs”?  What if you lose 50lbs and it doesn’t reverse your self-esteem instantly?  What if you do lose the weight and suddenly “love yourself”, but then something happens and you gain it back?

You might be able to afford to be completely superficial when choosing your dates, life partner, and your friends, but I think you will find that the price for superficial self-esteem is just too high.

Let me preface this by saying that I like Country Music

I was listening to the radio today and they were playing a country song about a guy who lost his girl.  Pretty traditional fare where Country music is concerned.   But then came the lyric:

"I would spend all my money on caviar and cocaine"

Awww, poor guy lost his girl and he’s so sa….Wait.  What?  Did he just say "caviar and cocaine"? 

My boyfriend and I decided that it absolutely wasn’t ok for a country singer to spend all of his money on caviar and cocaine.  We quickly came up with a list of acceptable combos to drown your country western sorrow:

stale pretzels and warm beer
cheap whiskey and Pringles
Jack Daniels and Twinkies
RC Cola and moonpies
Cold Brisket, day old Tater Salad and Tequila
Ribs, Ice Cream and Boones Farm

Any others?

Can you Digg it?

Check it out, somebody Dugg my Baby Got Back two-step routine.  Now, the more people who digg it, the more who will see it, the more stereotypes that can be hopefully smashed and I feel all cool and stuff.

If you want to Digg it,, just click here and say that you digg it (if, in fact, you do).