We have reached another of the Dieting Axis of Evil days – New Year’s. Where we are inundated with messages insisting that it’s in our best interest to resolve to diet, again. The Underpants Rule is very clear on this – people are allowed to do whatever they want with their bodies and that includes attempting to manipulate their size and shape because they think it will improve their health, or that it will stop bullying and stigmatization, or for whatever reason.

People are also allowed to choose NOT to try to lose weight for whatever reason we want – whether it’s because we believe that the research shows behavior, not body size, give us the best chance for health (knowing that health is not an obligation, barometer of worthiness, or entirely within our control), or because we believe that bullying and social stigma should be solved by ending bullying and social stigma, not by giving the bullies our lunch money, or because we believe the evidence about the near-complete futility of intentional weight loss. But this time of year that group doesn’t find much support.

I get a lot of e-mails for people this time of year asking “If I’m not making a weight loss resolution, what resolution can I make?”

I’m glad you asked!

Instead of a New Years Resolution, we can make a New Year’s Revolution.  There is no doubt that we live in a culture that was created around the idea that there is there is only one standard of beauty, and that it requires digital retouching and photo illustration to achieve it.  There is so much pressure to buy into this culture where the beauty and diet industries make billions by convincing us that we are not good enough, and probably never will be, that just waking up and not hating ourselves is an act of revolution, and that’s a pretty good place to start!

With that in mind, here are some ideas to create your own New Year’s Revolution (as always, these are just suggestions,  your mileage may vary and feel free to change any of these to make them work for you.)

• Resolve to make your first thought of every day one of gratitude for your body, maybe put a note on your ceiling that reminds you to start each day saying something like “You’re a great body and I really appreciate you” (if you need a little help finding the love, this might help.)

• Create a little mantra to say to yourself (or, hey, out loud if you want to) every time you hear a message that’s meant to make you feel bad about yourself so that you buy a product.  My personal mantra is “Hey, that’s BULLSHIT!” but you create one that works for you (and feel free to share it in the comments if you’d like.)

• Resolve to stop participating in negative body talk – about other people and your own body.  Start with what comes out of your own brain/mouth (when you start to have a negative thought or utterance, replace it with something positive), and then consider the conversations that you are part of. Maybe when others start body snarking you just walk away, or maybe you say “I wish we could live in a world where we saw the beauty in everyone and didn’t try to tear other people down,” or maybe you say “I made a New Year’s Revolution to stop negative body talk, I’m just not interested in being part of a toxic culture any more.”

• Resolve to do one piece of activism every week (or day, or month, or whatever) it could be something as simple as posting something body positive to your social media, or interrupting negative body talk, or writing an e-mail to a company that is using the creation of self-loathing as a marketing tactic, or sending a thank you letter to someone who supports you on your journey to size acceptance, or posting a body positive comment to a body negative space online.

• Resolve to reach out and join/create community – join/create a body positive club at your school or work, join/create a body positive meet-up or Facebook group, subscribe to blogs/tumblrs/instagrams etc. that support your goals

• If you are choosing health goals, consider making them about behaviors, consider making them additive (an extra glass of water, or serving of vegetables, or hour of sleep a night) rather than choosing “never to do/eat/be [whatever] again”.

• Resolve to cut yourself some slack if you aren’t able to do these goals 100% of the time. We’re pushing back against a tremendous amount of time, money, and energy that is invested in convincing us to buy into a culture where self-loathing is the norm, and where we see buying diet and beauty products as our only way out. So if we slip back into this mentality it’s not a big shock – I think that the best thing we can do when it happens is to recognize it and move on.

The diet and beauty industry machine that oppresses us runs on our time, energy, and money.  When we take the fuel away, the machine ceases to run.  That’s going to happen, but it’s going to take some time.  For now we can help change the whole world by changing our world, and staging a personal New Year’s Revolution.

Did you like this post? If you appreciate the work I do, you can support my ability to do more of it with a one-time contribution or by becoming a member.

Like this blog?  Here’s more cool stuff:

The New Year Sale is on! – Give the gift of body love and/or get your own year off to a Size Acceptance and Health at Every Size start with discounts on books, online programs, and DVDs to get your year (or the year of the people you’re gifting them to) off to a great start, and save you some money! (Dances With Fat Members get even bigger discounts, so make sure to use your link on the member page.)

Wellness for All Bodies Program: A simple, step-by-step, super efficient guide to setting and reaching your health goals from a weight-neutral perspective.  This program can be used by individuals, or by groups, including as a workplace wellness program!
Price: $25.00 ($10 for DancesWithFat members – register on the member page)

Non-Members click here for all the details and to register!

Book and Dance Class Sale!  I’m on a journey to complete an IRONMAN triathlon, and I’m having a sale on all my books, DVDs, and digital downloads to help pay for it. You get books and dance classes, I get spandex clothes and bike parts. Everybody wins! If you want, you can check it out here!

Book Me!  I’d love to speak to your organization. You can get more information here or just e-mail me at ragen at danceswithfat dot org!

I’m (still!) training for an IRONMAN! You can follow my journey at www.IronFat.com or on Instagram.

If you are uncomfortable with my offering things for sale on this site, you are invited to check out this post.

The vast majority of people who attempt intentional weight loss end up gaining the weight back in a few years, with many gaining back more than they lost. So if we know this, why is weight loss still being sold by everyone from doctors to the government to that annoying person in every Facebook group pushing shakes or whatever? It can often come down to very poorly drawn “scientific” conclusions, and the complete lack of ethics in the diet industry.

The fact is that most people are able to lose some weight over a short amount of time. The problem is the two conclusions that are drawn from that, which then form the foundation for diet culture.

The first is that if it’s possible to lose a little weight, then it must be possible to lose any amount of weight. The second is that if short-term weight loss is possible for almost everyone, then maintaining weight loss must be possible for almost everyone.

These conclusions are total crap. They simply cannot be logically drawn from the facts. They are hypotheses that are disproven by the evidence. It’s embarrassing that so many doctors are still peddling this BS. They, too have been duped by (and/or are profiting from) weight loss and diet culture, very profitably perpetuated by the diet industry, currently worth $66 Billion a year, up from $55 Billion in 2007. (If their product actually worked, their profits would go down over a decade of people getting and staying thin, so the constant increase in profits is a good sign that this is a scam on a massive scale.)

The diet industry has also made a habit of funding studies that only last for two years. A common outcome is that people who stay in the study lose 10 pounds in the first year, they gain back 5 of those pounds in the second year.

The study then stops, they make no attempt to figure out what happened to the people who quit (could it be that they weren’t losing weight?) and the diet industry claims that the majority of participants (meaning the majority of people who didn’t quit the study) ended below their starting weight after two years, which they often call “long-term success.” Of course two years isn’t really long-term anything, and they are conveniently ignoring the fact that the research that goes beyond 2 years finds that the trajectory of weight gain continues, and that most people gain it all back within about 5 years, with many gaining back more than they lost.

For a visual interpretation:

Once again, what the research shows is that almost everyone can lose some weight short term. Almost everyone gains the weight back in 2-5 years. Knowing this, the diet industry claims “well, they go back to their old habits…” which is true only to the extent that they go back to not giving their body less calories than it needs to survive in the hopes that it will consume itself and become smaller. When people are talking about an intentional weight loss attempt and they say “it’s not a diet, it’s a lifestyle change” what they mean is “It’s a change to a lifestyle where you diet all the time.” Starvation is not sustainable.

There is nothing wrong with being fat, but even if someone thinks a large body is a problem, an intentional weight loss attempt is the absolute worst thing that they could do (and worst advice we could give them,) since it results in weight gain the majority of the time. For the research around this, I highly recommend Lindo Bacon and Lucy Aprhramor’s Weight Science: Evaluating the Evidence for a Paradigm Shift.

We have to start telling the truth about weight and health or we risk coming to the end of our lives to find that we were so busy in the near impossible pursuit of a thin body (and lining the pockets of the diet industry in the process,) that we never took the time to truly live. I don’t know about you, but I wasted years trying to manipulate my body based on stereotypes of beauty and lies about health. No more. I live a full life in the body that I have. Getting off the diet roller coaster is always an option.

Did you like this post? If you appreciate the work I do, you can support my ability to do more of it with a one-time contribution or by becoming a member.

Like this blog?  Here’s more cool stuff:

The End of Year Sale is on! – Give the gift of body love and/or get your own year off to a Size Acceptance and Health at Every Size start with discounts on books, online programs, and DVDs to get your year (or the year of the people you’re gifting them to) off to a great start, and save you some money! (Dances With Fat Members get even bigger discounts, so make sure to use your link on the member page.)

Wellness for All Bodies Program: A simple, step-by-step, super efficient guide to setting and reaching your health goals from a weight-neutral perspective.  This program can be used by individuals, or by groups, including as a workplace wellness program!
Price: $25.00 ($10 for DancesWithFat members – register on the member page)

Non-Members click here for all the details and to register!

Book and Dance Class Sale!  I’m on a journey to complete an IRONMAN triathlon, and I’m having a sale on all my books, DVDs, and digital downloads to help pay for it. You get books and dance classes, I get spandex clothes and bike parts. Everybody wins! If you want, you can check it out here!

Book Me!  I’d love to speak to your organization. You can get more information here or just e-mail me at ragen at danceswithfat dot org!

I’m (still!) training for an IRONMAN! You can follow my journey at www.IronFat.com or on Instagram.

If you are uncomfortable with my offering things for sale on this site, you are invited to check out this post.

Ah The Diet Industry. It promised you the world. And it was always good to you in the beginning, but over time it just couldn’t keep its promises, and you would break up. Then it would lure you back, convincing you it was responsible for everything good in your life, you would try again and then have to kick it out of your apartment when it went back to its old failing ways.

You would think you were done for good, but it would come back,  convincing you that you were to blame for the failed relationship and that you just needed to try harder – and you would give it another chance, only to have your heart broken again.

Then you started talking to the Diet Industry’s other exes and you learned that this was the pattern with almost every single one of them. Finally, you dumped the Diet Industry for good.

But the New Year is approaching and here’s the Diet Industry drunk and crying, calling, texting, e-mailing, sliding into your DMs, trying to convince you that it has changed (Now it’s going by its initials instead of its name! It’s a whole new person!) and it can give you everything you ever wanted if you just come back baby, please, just one more chance.

But the Diet Industry is lying – just like it always has – and, deep down, you know it. So remember that you can ignore that call, delete that text, block your shitty ex and keep living the amazing life that you can only live when the Diet Industry isn’t a part of it.

Did you like this post? If you appreciate the work I do, you can support my ability to do more of it with a one-time contribution or by becoming a member.

Like this blog?  Here’s more cool stuff:

The End of Year Sale is on! – Give the gift of body love and/or get your own year off to a Size Acceptance and Health at Every Size start with discounts on books, online programs, and DVDs to get your year (or the year of the people you’re gifting them to) off to a great start, and save you some money! (Dances With Fat Members get even bigger discounts, so make sure to use your link on the member page.)

Wellness for All Bodies Program: A simple, step-by-step, super efficient guide to setting and reaching your health goals from a weight-neutral perspective.  This program can be used by individuals, or by groups, including as a workplace wellness program!
Price: $25.00 ($10 for DancesWithFat members – register on the member page)

Non-Members click here for all the details and to register!

Book and Dance Class Sale!  I’m on a journey to complete an IRONMAN triathlon, and I’m having a sale on all my books, DVDs, and digital downloads to help pay for it. You get books and dance classes, I get spandex clothes and bike parts. Everybody wins! If you want, you can check it out here!

Book Me!  I’d love to speak to your organization. You can get more information here or just e-mail me at ragen at danceswithfat dot org!

I’m (still!) training for an IRONMAN! You can follow my journey at www.IronFat.com or on Instagram.

If you are uncomfortable with my offering things for sale on this site, you are invited to check out this post.

Every year, Christmas Eve is one of my biggest e-mail days – when I receive the most e-mails asking for help or support dealing with fatphobia during the holidays – from those who are celebrating and those who aren’t.  For some people, the holidays are filled with fun family get-togethers and happy memories and festivities. For many people, it’s very much not.

People for whom “the holidays” aren’t so happy often don’t feel like they can talk about it (or are discouraged from talking about it), which makes it extra suck.  So I just wanted to take a moment to acknowledge that and let you know that this is a safe space, and to re-post some resources, if you have additional resources please feel free to post them in the comments!

Dealing with family and friends food police

Combating holiday weight shame

The Holiday Boundary Song

Dealing with people who can’t handle you setting boundaries

This article was written for Queer people, and has good tips for everyone.

There is a past discussion thread about this over on Shakesville that has some really great ideas and discussion.

Did you like this post? If you appreciate the work I do, you can support my ability to do more of it with a one-time contribution or by becoming amember.

Like this blog?  Here’s more cool stuff:

The End of Year Sale is on! – Give the gift of body love and/or get your own year off to a Size Acceptance and Health at Every Size start with discounts on books, online programs, and DVDs to get your year (or the year of the people you’re gifting them to) off to a great start, and save you some money! (Dances With Fat Members get even bigger discounts, so make sure to use your link on the member page.)

Wellness for All Bodies Program: A simple, step-by-step, super efficient guide to setting and reaching your health goals from a weight-neutral perspective.  This program can be used by individuals, or by groups, including as a workplace wellness program!
Price: $25.00 ($10 for DancesWithFat members – register on the member page)

Non-Members click here for all the details and to register!

Book and Dance Class Sale!  I’m on a journey to complete an IRONMAN triathlon, and I’m having a sale on all my books, DVDs, and digital downloads to help pay for it. You get books and dance classes, I get spandex clothes and bike parts. Everybody wins! If you want, you can check it out here!

Book Me!  I’d love to speak to your organization. You can get more information here or just e-mail me at ragen at danceswithfat dot org!

I’m (still!) training for an IRONMAN! You can follow my journey at www.IronFat.com or on Instagram.

If you are uncomfortable with my offering things for sale on this site, you are invited to check out this post.

One of the most frequent questions I get during the holidays is about how to deal with people – especially family – who are behaving badly: food policing, fat shaming, diet and weight loss talking and more.

For me the secret is boundaries. I think it’s best to start by deciding what constitutes behavior that you will put up with. If it’s anything other than “anything goes” then I would consider setting some boundaries with consequences that you can follow through with. So, for example “It is not ok to talk about my weight or eating. If anyone says one more thing about my weight or eating I’m going to leave and we’ll try this again next year.” and then, if they fail to respect your boundaries, it’s time to invoke the consequences.

I’ve done this, and I’ve heard from a number of people who have done this and the common thread seems to be that we only had to do it one time and then our families started respecting their boundaries. Of course your mileage may vary. I’ve written about dealing with the Family and Friends Food Police and Combating Holiday Weight Shame, but in another danceswithfat annual tradition, today we’re going to do this in song.

I’ve re-written the lyrics to “Oh Christmas Tree” to be an ode to boundary setting.

Note 1: In order for this to work, it helps to pronounce boundaries as a three syllable word (BOUND-ah-rees) I also play with the rhythms within the phrases (I had what felt like 27 semesters of music theory in college, this is what I’m doing with it.) If this is an affront to your sense of poetic license I completely understand, I’ll be back soon with a post sans song.

Note 2: At the bottom you’ll find two amazing renditions of this song by Jeanette DePatie and Nadja. Please also feel free to add your own verses in the comments, and/or post a video with your own rendition and it will become a part of this annual tradition.

And with that I give you:

Oh Boundaries (to the tune of Oh Christmas Tree)

Oh Boundaries! Oh Boundaries! You help me deal with family.

Don’t talk about my weight or food.
Why can’t you see it’s hella rude?

Oh Boundaries! Oh Boundaries! You help me deal with family.

You know I love my family
But I will leave if you fat-shame me.

Oh Boundaries! Oh Boundaries! You help me deal with family.

My body’s fine, I don’t need your rants
You’re not the boss of my underpants

Oh Boundaries! Oh Boundaries! You help me deal with family.

Don’t say a word to my fat kid
Or I’ll leave so fast, my tires will skid

Oh Boundaries! Oh Boundaries! You help me deal with family.

Yes I do “need” that second plate
It’s not your business what I ate

Oh Boundaries! Oh Boundaries! You help me deal with family.

Quit saying someday I’ll get sick
Last time I checked you were not psychic

Oh Boundaries! Oh Boundaries! You help me deal with family.

The holidays are great family time
If you don’t shame, food-police or whine

Oh Boundaries! Oh Boundaries! You help me deal with family.

Two Readers (so far – hint, hint) have taken up the challenge of recording this piece, enjoy!

Jeanette DePatie gave us an amazing opera/jazz rendition:

and Nadja killed it a capella in the middle of the night in her PJs:

I spend a lot of time helping fat people deal with the bullshit fat shaming that comes our way daily, and that often escalates at the holidays (whether we celebrate them or not.)  I try to be clear that these things are not our fault, even though they become our problem and that the problem isn’t fat people, it’s fat shaming. So today I wanted to take a second to talk directly to on purpose fat shamers, accidental fat shamers, and potential fat shamers – however well-meaning they may be – about how they can stop the problem before it even starts at the holidays, and all year long!

Don’t give a weight loss or “health” gift

Don’t give a gym membership, diet club membership, “healthy meal” delivery etc. unless the person has very specifically asked for it.  Including and especially if you’re only assuming that they don’t already do or have these things because of your stereotypes about fat people, or as a passive-aggressive hint that you think they may “need” the gift. Instead, if you want to give a gift, consider choosing something based on the person’s actual likes and interests rather than stereotypes and fat shaming. Or maybe a nice gift certificate.

Don’t be the food police

Don’t monitor, comment on, or concern yourself in any way with fat people’s (or any sized people’s) food choices at parties, holiday dinners or, hey, ever.  If we need the food police, we’ll call Pie-1-1. If you feel like you might have to deal with the Family and Friends Food Police, here are some tips.  If you want some ideas to help when you see this kind of food shaming, check here.

Don’t give a fat-shaming card

Way too many fat people get cards with some version of  “We love you and we want you to lose weight because we want you to be around a long time.” If you honestly can’t figure out why “Happy Holidays! Please don’t die of fat because mourning you would be a major bummer for us” isn’t an appropriate message for a holiday card, then please just take my word for it this is a bad idea. And also, consider that giving cards may not be for you. The person to whom you deliver this little Hallmark moment may be able to defend themselves in court successfully with “Your Honor, they needed a killin’” This happened to my partner a few years ago and we chose to cut ties with the relatives completely, about which it seems they are upset. Bad behavior can have undesired consequences for everyone, don’t put your fat friends and family in this position.

Don’t engage in diet talk or negative body talk

This suggestion isn’t just to help fat guests, but also for guests of any size who may be dealing with eating disorders, or guests who are interested in conversations that aren’t boring as hell. Find something else to talk about than why you are or are not eating what you are or are not eating.  Skip the 5 minute soliloquy on what you feel you have to do to punish yourself for eating pie, and ask somebody at the party to tell you about themselves instead, or go watch TV, or play on your phone, whatever.

Don’t comment on body size changes

Nothing says “Happy Holidays” like knowing that your relatives are monitoring your body. You might think it’s a compliment to ask if someone has lost weight but that question is super loaded – perhaps they’ve lost weight because of illness, grief, medication, an eating disorder, or something else unwanted or unintentional. Perhaps they are uncomfortable with having their body size made into a topic for discussion (maybe because it’s hella inappropriate…) Perhaps they haven’t lost weight and, however well-intentioned you may be, they take it as backhanded or passive-aggressive. (Or perhaps you intended it to be backhanded or passive-aggressive in which case you’re being an ass,  won’t you please be a dear, and knock that shit off.)  If you want some suggestions for wading through the tricky world of weight loss compliments (like what to do when someone tells you’ve they’ve lost weight and then looks at you expectantly), you’ll find that here.

Don’t stage some kind of weight loss intervention

This should be a big pile of obvious in an obvious box with an obvious bow, but every year some asshat who wants to be thought of as “brave” writes an article about how the holidays are the perfect time to fat shame your relatives “for their own good.” First of all, people’s weight and health (two different things) aren’t your business unless they ask you to make them your business. Even if you don’t believe that, the holidays are definitely not the time to do this.  And if you feel that you have to do this at the holidays because it’s the only time you see that person, then consider how relevant you really are in their lives and whether you have any business doing this at all.  Then don’t. Just don’t. Do Not. Don’t. Trust me when I tell you, you are not The Fat Person Whisperer.

Did you like this post? If you apprecieate the work I do, you can support my ability to do more of it with a one-time contribution or by becoming a member.

Like this blog?  Here’s more cool stuff:

The Bundle Up! Sale is on! – Give the gift of body love and/or get your own year off to a Size Acceptance and Health at Every Size start with bundles that include books, online programs, and DVDs to get your year (or the year of the people you’re gifting them to) off to a great start, and save you some money! (Members get even bigger discounts, so make sure to use your link on the member page.)

Wellness for All Bodies Program: A simple, step-by-step, super efficient guide to setting and reaching your health goals from a weight-neutral perspective.  This program can be used by individuals, or by groups, including as a workplace wellness program!
Price: $25.00 ($10 for DancesWithFat members – register on the member page)

Non-Members click here for all the details and to register!

Book and Dance Class Sale!  I’m on a journey to complete an IRONMAN triathlon, and I’m having a sale on all my books, DVDs, and digital downloads to help pay for it. You get books and dance classes, I get spandex clothes and bike parts. Everybody wins! If you want, you can check it out here!

Book Me!  I’d love to speak to your organization. You can get more information here or just e-mail me at ragen at danceswithfat dot org!

I’m (still!) training for an IRONMAN! You can follow my journey at www.IronFat.com or on Instagram.

If you are uncomfortable with my offering things for sale on this site, you are invited to check out this post.

As some people are celebrating holidays that include things like chocolate, candy, and feasts, I am seeing a ton of food shaming, food policing, and food moralizing.  All of this is crap, for the reasons I explain here, but I thought what I would do today is give you some options for response. Note, today’s responses are in pictures (mostly starring our adorable dogs – you can click on them to enlarge them) If you are looking for verbal responses, head over here.

Did you like this post? If you apprecieate the work I do, you can support my ability to do more of it with a one-time contribution or by becoming a member.

Like this blog?  Here’s more cool stuff:

The Bundle Up! Sale is on! – Give the gift of body love and/or get your own year off to a Size Acceptance and Health at Every Size start with bundles that include books, online programs, and DVDs to get your year (or the year of the people you’re gifting them to) off to a great start, and save you some money! (Members get even bigger discounts, so make sure to use your link on the member page.)

Wellness for All Bodies Program: A simple, step-by-step, super efficient guide to setting and reaching your health goals from a weight-neutral perspective.  This program can be used by individuals, or by groups, including as a workplace wellness program!
Price: $25.00 ($10 for DancesWithFat members – register on the member page)

Non-Members click here for all the details and to register!

Book and Dance Class Sale!  I’m on a journey to complete an IRONMAN triathlon, and I’m having a sale on all my books, DVDs, and digital downloads to help pay for it. You get books and dance classes, I get spandex clothes and bike parts. Everybody wins! If you want, you can check it out here!

Book Me!  I’d love to speak to your organization. You can get more information here or just e-mail me at ragen at danceswithfat dot org!

I’m (still!) training for an IRONMAN! You can follow my journey at www.IronFat.com or on Instagram.

If you are uncomfortable with my offering things for sale on this site, you are invited to check out this post.

In my piece about weight stigma and airlines I mentioned internalized fatphobia. On Instagram, @samolotus asked “could you expound upon what internalized fatphobia is?” Yes. Yes I can.

Internalized fatphobia is a form of internalized oppression, which is basically when oppressed people buy into the message of their oppressors. In terms of fatphobia, it happens when fat people don’t believe that they deserve the same things or same treatment that thin people get.

Internalized fatphobia can sound something like “If I take up more than one seat on a plane then of course I should pay for two seats!” Often this is a (conscious or subconscious) way to gain a modicum of approval from oppressors – the hope being that they think “well, she may be fat, but at least she has the decency to be self-loathing,” and that this attitude will lead them to better treatment than these fatties who are willing to fight for their right not to be second class citizens.

We live in a culture that rolls out fatshaming messages to us from infancy, so the fact that fat people suffer from internalized fatphobia isn’t exactly a galloping shock. It’s not our fault, it’s about discovering the ways in which we have internalized the stigmatizing and oppressive messages we’ve heard, and then rethinking them, and then deciding what to do about what we actually deserve. (For example, realizing that what is considered “a seat” by the airline is arbitrary, that we deserve to be transported from point a to point b for the same prices as the thin person beside us, and then maybe getting involved in some activism around that.)

I want to be clear that there are people who would argue that it isn’t internalized fatphobia, that they simply believe that, as fat people, they should be treated as second class citizens. Often their justification are that being fat is their fault, and/or that they could be thin if they wanted to, and/or that fat people existing is an inconvenience to thin people (and, for some reason, they believe that thin people’s feelings and desires should be centered and accommodated but it definitely isn’t because they’ve bought into a fatphobic society, because that would mean that they are dealing with internalized fatphobia…)

Regardless, I have no need to argue with fat people who think like this, they are allowed to believe whatever they want. What’s important to remember is that, first of all, their belief that they deserve to be oppressed is NOT a justification for oppressing other fat people. I’m happy for these people to have the option to pay twice as much for the same plane ride, but by no means does that mean that any other fat person should be required to. Moreover, if they are trying to visit their ideas on other fat people (ie: insisting that we don’t deserve space on a plane, or healthcare facilities that accommodate us, etc.) then we’re no longer talking about internalized fatphobia. At that point its just the same old, regular, garden variety, fatphobia that is harming others and should be fought.

As long as we live in a fatphobic society, there will be people who deal with internalized fatphobia, and some of those people will argue vehemently for their continued poor treatment. But you don’t have to be in that group, you can insist that you deserve to be treated with equality and respect. Because you do.

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Wellness for All Bodies Program: A simple, step-by-step, super efficient guide to setting and reaching your health goals from a weight-neutral perspective.  This program can be used by individuals, or by groups, including as a workplace wellness program!
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Book and Dance Class Sale!  I’m on a journey to complete an IRONMAN triathlon, and I’m having a sale on all my books, DVDs, and digital downloads to help pay for it. You get books and dance classes, I get spandex clothes and bike parts. Everybody wins! If you want, you can check it out here!

Book Me!  I’d love to speak to your organization. You can get more information here or just e-mail me at ragen at danceswithfat dot org!

I’m (still!) training for an IRONMAN! You can follow my journey at www.IronFat.com or on Instagram.