Jen Kirkman Weaponizes Her Internalized Fatphobia and Fatch Talks About It

First of all, super exciting news – I have joined Fatch, a Fat Sketch Comedy Group whose members are all kick ass and hilarious women who I’m completely honored to get to join. (You may remember we recently collaborated on a song about the importance of Fat Friendly Seating!)

So today was my first episode of The Fat (think The View/The Real but fatter!) as a member of Fatch! We did a year-end wrap up during which we talked about Jen Kirkman, a comic who made a cheap fat joke on Twitter, then blocked the people who called her out on it (including me!) then called us all mean bullies, as well as discussing the COVID vaccine, and other fat going’s on.

You can watch the full episode here!

UPCOMING ONLINE WORKSHOP:
The Truth About Weight And Healt
h

There are a lot of beliefs, myths, and misconceptions that float around when it comes to the relationship between weight and health. In this workshop we’ll discuss them from science and social justice perspectives.

Details and Registration: https://danceswithfat.org/monthly-online-workshops/
*This workshop is free for DancesWithFat members – login info is on the member page
Become a member here!

Topics will include:

  • What the research says about weight and health
  • Why do so many people, including doctors, say that weight loss will make you healthier? (And why are they wrong?) 
  • Common issues with the research around weight and health, and how to spot them
  • How to discuss the research with skeptics
  • Answers to the questions
    • But what about fat people’s effect on my tax dollars?
    • Can you be fat and healthy?
    • Shouldn’t we treat fat people like we treat smokers?
    • Does being fat cause health issues?

Plus an unlimited Q&A (I stay until all the questions are answered!) so you are guaranteed to get the information you came for!

Like This Blog? If you appreciate the work that I do, you can support my ability to do more of it with a one-time tip or by becoming a member. (Members get special deals on fat-positive stuff, a monthly e-mail keeping them up to date on the work their membership supports, and the ability to ask me questions that I answer in a members-only monthly Q&A Video!)

Here’s more stuff you might like:

Wellness for All Bodies Program:A simple, step-by-step, super efficient guide to setting and reaching your health goals from a weight-neutral perspective.  This program can be used by individuals, or by groups, including as a workplace wellness program!

Price: $25.00 ($10 for DancesWithFat members – register on the member page)

Non-members Click here for all the details and to register!
Body Love Obstacle Course

This e-course that includes coaching videos, a study guide, and an ebook with the tools you need to create a rock-solid relationship with your body. Our relationships with our bodies don’t happen in a vacuum, so just learning to see our beauty isn’t going to cut it. The world throws obstacles in our way – obstacles that aren’t our fault, but become our problem. Over the course of this program, Ragen Chastain, Jeanette DePatie, and six incredible guest coaches will teach you practical, realistic, proven strategies to go above, around, and through the obstacles that the world puts in front of you when it comes to living an amazing life in the body you have now.
Price: $99.00 Click here to register
($79.00 for DancesWithFat members – register on the member page)

Love It! 234 Inspirations And Activities to Help You Love Your Body
This is filled with thoughtful advice from the authors Jeanette DePatie, Ragen Chastain, and Pia Sciavo-Campo as well as dozens of other notable names from the body love movement, the book is lovingly illustrated with diverse drawings from size-positive artist Toni Tails.
Price: $9.99 softcover, $7.99 Kindle, ($6.95 + free shipping for DancesWithFat Members)

Book Me!  I’d love to speak to your organization (and I can do it remotely!) You can get more information here or just e-mail me at ragen at danceswithfat dot org!

Four Fat Activists With A Fat Positive New Year’s Song

Last year Jeanette DePatie and I re-wrote and recorded a bunch of holiday songs to be about fat positive anthems, including a version of Auld Lang Syne that Jeanette wrote, turning it into My Body Is Just Fine.

This year we exponentially upped the awesome by recording a version that also includes fabulous fat activists Nikki Bailey and Lindley Ashline

So here’s a New Years song for all of us who want to be reminded that the world is fatphobic, but our fat bodies are just fine! (Hint, the link below is a playlist, feel free to keep watching to see this year’s holiday videos and also last year’s originals!)

UPCOMING ONLINE WORKSHOP:
The Truth About Weight And Healt
h

There are a lot of beliefs, myths, and misconceptions that float around when it comes to the relationship between weight and health. In this workshop we’ll discuss them from science and social justice perspectives.

Details and Registration: https://danceswithfat.org/monthly-online-workshops/
*This workshop is free for DancesWithFat members – login info is on the member page
Become a member here!

Topics will include:

  • What the research says about weight and health
  • Why do so many people, including doctors, say that weight loss will make you healthier? (And why are they wrong?) 
  • Common issues with the research around weight and health, and how to spot them
  • How to discuss the research with skeptics
  • Answers to the questions
    • But what about fat people’s effect on my tax dollars?
    • Can you be fat and healthy?
    • Shouldn’t we treat fat people like we treat smokers?
    • Does being fat cause health issues?

Plus an unlimited Q&A (I stay until all the questions are answered!) so you are guaranteed to get the information you came for!

Like This Blog? If you appreciate the work that I do, you can support my ability to do more of it with a one-time tip or by becoming a member. (Members get special deals on fat-positive stuff, a monthly e-mail keeping them up to date on the work their membership supports, and the ability to ask me questions that I answer in a members-only monthly Q&A Video!)

Here’s more stuff you might like:

Wellness for All Bodies Program:A simple, step-by-step, super efficient guide to setting and reaching your health goals from a weight-neutral perspective.  This program can be used by individuals, or by groups, including as a workplace wellness program!

Price: $25.00 ($10 for DancesWithFat members – register on the member page)

Non-members Click here for all the details and to register!
Body Love Obstacle Course

This e-course that includes coaching videos, a study guide, and an ebook with the tools you need to create a rock-solid relationship with your body. Our relationships with our bodies don’t happen in a vacuum, so just learning to see our beauty isn’t going to cut it. The world throws obstacles in our way – obstacles that aren’t our fault, but become our problem. Over the course of this program, Ragen Chastain, Jeanette DePatie, and six incredible guest coaches will teach you practical, realistic, proven strategies to go above, around, and through the obstacles that the world puts in front of you when it comes to living an amazing life in the body you have now.
Price: $99.00 Click here to register
($79.00 for DancesWithFat members – register on the member page)

Love It! 234 Inspirations And Activities to Help You Love Your Body
This is filled with thoughtful advice from the authors Jeanette DePatie, Ragen Chastain, and Pia Sciavo-Campo as well as dozens of other notable names from the body love movement, the book is lovingly illustrated with diverse drawings from size-positive artist Toni Tails.
Price: $9.99 softcover, $7.99 Kindle, ($6.95 + free shipping for DancesWithFat Members)

Book Me!  I’d love to speak to your organization (and I can do it remotely!) You can get more information here or just e-mail me at ragen at danceswithfat dot org!

Dance Class – Holiday Themed and Fat Positive!

Last year Jeanette DePatie and I re-wrote a bunch of holiday songs to make them fat positive, including Jingle Bell Rock, which we turned into My Body Rocks. This year, I created a little dance routine to it.

Below are links for the dance classes – there is a seated and a standing version, each video contains a little dance class to learn the moves as well as a dance through.

If you feel like it, I would love for you to make a video of you dancing to this and post it in the comments and/or anywhere you want! Of course you can make the video while watching the my dance through, or you can download the music itself at the link below and do my choreography or your own thing. (Feel free to tag me: IG: @RagenChastain Twitter @DancesWithFat)

Have fun and happy dancing!

Seated Version

Standing Version

And here’s the music file:

Check out Justine’s video of the seated choreo, feel free to add yours to the comments!

UPCOMING ONLINE WORKSHOP:
The Truth About Weight And Healt
h

There are a lot of beliefs, myths, and misconceptions that float around when it comes to the relationship between weight and health. In this workshop we’ll discuss them from science and social justice perspectives.

Details and Registration: https://danceswithfat.org/monthly-online-workshops/
*This workshop is free for DancesWithFat members – login info is on the member page
Become a member here!

Topics will include:

  • What the research says about weight and health
  • Why do so many people, including doctors, say that weight loss will make you healthier? (And why are they wrong?) 
  • Common issues with the research around weight and health, and how to spot them
  • How to discuss the research with skeptics
  • Answers to the questions
    • But what about fat people’s effect on my tax dollars?
    • Can you be fat and healthy?
    • Shouldn’t we treat fat people like we treat smokers?
    • Does being fat cause health issues?

Plus an unlimited Q&A (I stay until all the questions are answered!) so you are guaranteed to get the information you came for!

Like This Blog? If you appreciate the work that I do, you can support my ability to do more of it with a one-time tip or by becoming a member. (Members get special deals on fat-positive stuff, a monthly e-mail keeping them up to date on the work their membership supports, and the ability to ask me questions that I answer in a members-only monthly Q&A Video!)

Here’s more stuff you might like:

Wellness for All Bodies Program:A simple, step-by-step, super efficient guide to setting and reaching your health goals from a weight-neutral perspective.  This program can be used by individuals, or by groups, including as a workplace wellness program!

Price: $25.00 ($10 for DancesWithFat members – register on the member page)

Non-members Click here for all the details and to register!
Body Love Obstacle Course

This e-course that includes coaching videos, a study guide, and an ebook with the tools you need to create a rock-solid relationship with your body. Our relationships with our bodies don’t happen in a vacuum, so just learning to see our beauty isn’t going to cut it. The world throws obstacles in our way – obstacles that aren’t our fault, but become our problem. Over the course of this program, Ragen Chastain, Jeanette DePatie, and six incredible guest coaches will teach you practical, realistic, proven strategies to go above, around, and through the obstacles that the world puts in front of you when it comes to living an amazing life in the body you have now.
Price: $99.00 Click here to register
($79.00 for DancesWithFat members – register on the member page)

Love It! 234 Inspirations And Activities to Help You Love Your Body
This is filled with thoughtful advice from the authors Jeanette DePatie, Ragen Chastain, and Pia Sciavo-Campo as well as dozens of other notable names from the body love movement, the book is lovingly illustrated with diverse drawings from size-positive artist Toni Tails.
Price: $9.99 softcover, $7.99 Kindle, ($6.95 + free shipping for DancesWithFat Members)

Book Me!  I’d love to speak to your organization (and I can do it remotely!) You can get more information here or just e-mail me at ragen at danceswithfat dot org!

Dealing With Food Shaming At The Holidays (And The Rest Of The Year!)

Food policing happens whenever someone tries to insert themselves into the choices you are making around food. It can sound like, “Do you need to eat that?” or, “Are you sure you want seconds?” It can even be a backhanded and condescending, “Good for you for making a healthy choice!” Is there anything more fun than being under surveillance by the Friends and Family Food Police? There are a few of things that come to mind immediately — root canal, shaving my head with a cheese grater, a fish hook in the eye… This happens to almost all of my fat friends, but to be clear it happens to thin people too — food judgment and shaming happens to people of all sizes.

The way you know that a comment about your food choices is not OK is that you aren’t OK with it. That’s the entire test. People do not have a right to give you unsolicited comments/advice about your food choices. This is something that can happen anytime of the year, but it’s rampant at the holidays. (I’m already hearing about experiences people had at Thanksgiving while eating with their families over Zoom!)

This year I wrote about options for dealing with this for The Mighty.

You can read the full piece here!

UPCOMING ONLINE WORKSHOP:
The Truth About Weight And Health

There are a lot of beliefs, myths, and misconceptions that float around when it comes to the relationship between weight and health. In this workshop we’ll discuss them from science and social justice perspectives.

Details and Registration: https://danceswithfat.org/monthly-online-workshops/
*This workshop is free for DancesWithFat members – login info is on the member page
Become a member here!

Topics will include:

  • What the research says about weight and health
  • Why do so many people, including doctors, say that weight loss will make you healthier? (And why are they wrong?) 
  • Common issues with the research around weight and health, and how to spot them
  • How to discuss the research with skeptics
  • Answers to the questions
    • But what about fat people’s effect on my tax dollars?
    • Can you be fat and healthy?
    • Shouldn’t we treat fat people like we treat smokers?
    • Does being fat cause health issues?

Plus an unlimited Q&A (I stay until all the questions are answered!) so you are guaranteed to get the information you came for!


Like This Blog? If you appreciate the work that I do, you can support my ability to do more of it with a one-time tip or by becoming a member. (Members get special deals on fat-positive stuff, a monthly e-mail keeping them up to date on the work their membership supports, and the ability to ask me questions that I answer in a members-only monthly Q&A Video!)

Here’s more stuff you might like:

Wellness for All Bodies Program:A simple, step-by-step, super efficient guide to setting and reaching your health goals from a weight-neutral perspective.  This program can be used by individuals, or by groups, including as a workplace wellness program!

Price: $25.00 ($10 for DancesWithFat members – register on the member page)

Non-members Click here for all the details and to register!
Body Love Obstacle Course

This e-course that includes coaching videos, a study guide, and an ebook with the tools you need to create a rock-solid relationship with your body. Our relationships with our bodies don’t happen in a vacuum, so just learning to see our beauty isn’t going to cut it. The world throws obstacles in our way – obstacles that aren’t our fault, but become our problem. Over the course of this program, Ragen Chastain, Jeanette DePatie, and six incredible guest coaches will teach you practical, realistic, proven strategies to go above, around, and through the obstacles that the world puts in front of you when it comes to living an amazing life in the body you have now.
Price: $99.00 Click here to register
($79.00 for DancesWithFat members – register on the member page)

Love It! 234 Inspirations And Activities to Help You Love Your Body
This is filled with thoughtful advice from the authors Jeanette DePatie, Ragen Chastain, and Pia Sciavo-Campo as well as dozens of other notable names from the body love movement, the book is lovingly illustrated with diverse drawings from size-positive artist Toni Tails.
Price: $9.99 softcover, $7.99 Kindle, ($6.95 + free shipping for DancesWithFat Members)

Book Me!  I’d love to speak to your organization (and I can do it remotely!) You can get more information here or just e-mail me at ragen at danceswithfat dot org!

Let’s Talk About Fat Fashion

I was recently honored to be a guest on Mallorie Dunn’s podcast Fashion For All. Mallorie is the founder of Smart Glamour, a clothing brand that designs and produces clothing for people of every size (really!)

We talked about all kinds of fat activism stuff, including how much we both deeply despise brands that claim to make clothing for “All Shapes And Sizes” and then, you know, don’t.

You can listen to the podcast here, or search for Fashion For All – The SmartGlamour Podcast where you listen to podcasts and make sure to check out all the fabulous guests! Huge thanks to Mallorie for including me in all the fabulous work she does!

UPCOMING ONLINE WORKSHOP:
The Truth About Weight And Health

There are a lot of beliefs, myths, and misconceptions that float around when it comes to the relationship between weight and health. In this workshop we’ll discuss them from science and social justice perspectives.

Details and Registration: https://danceswithfat.org/monthly-online-workshops/
*This workshop is free for DancesWithFat members – login info is on the member page
Become a member here!

Topics will include:

  • What the research says about weight and health
  • Why do so many people, including doctors, say that weight loss will make you healthier? (And why are they wrong?) 
  • Common issues with the research around weight and health, and how to spot them
  • How to discuss the research with skeptics
  • Answers to the questions
    • But what about fat people’s effect on my tax dollars?
    • Can you be fat and healthy?
    • Shouldn’t we treat fat people like we treat smokers?
    • Does being fat cause health issues?

Plus an unlimited Q&A (I stay until all the questions are answered!) so you are guaranteed to get the information you came for!


Like This Blog? If you appreciate the work that I do, you can support my ability to do more of it with a one-time tip or by becoming a member. (Members get special deals on fat-positive stuff, a monthly e-mail keeping them up to date on the work their membership supports, and the ability to ask me questions that I answer in a members-only monthly Q&A Video!)

Here’s more stuff you might like:

Wellness for All Bodies Program:A simple, step-by-step, super efficient guide to setting and reaching your health goals from a weight-neutral perspective.  This program can be used by individuals, or by groups, including as a workplace wellness program!

Price: $25.00 ($10 for DancesWithFat members – register on the member page)

Non-members Click here for all the details and to register!
Body Love Obstacle Course

This e-course that includes coaching videos, a study guide, and an ebook with the tools you need to create a rock-solid relationship with your body. Our relationships with our bodies don’t happen in a vacuum, so just learning to see our beauty isn’t going to cut it. The world throws obstacles in our way – obstacles that aren’t our fault, but become our problem. Over the course of this program, Ragen Chastain, Jeanette DePatie, and six incredible guest coaches will teach you practical, realistic, proven strategies to go above, around, and through the obstacles that the world puts in front of you when it comes to living an amazing life in the body you have now.
Price: $99.00 Click here to register
($79.00 for DancesWithFat members – register on the member page)

Love It! 234 Inspirations And Activities to Help You Love Your Body
This is filled with thoughtful advice from the authors Jeanette DePatie, Ragen Chastain, and Pia Sciavo-Campo as well as dozens of other notable names from the body love movement, the book is lovingly illustrated with diverse drawings from size-positive artist Toni Tails.
Price: $9.99 softcover, $7.99 Kindle, ($6.95 + free shipping for DancesWithFat Members)

Book Me!  I’d love to speak to your organization (and I can do it remotely!) You can get more information here or just e-mail me at ragen at danceswithfat dot org!

The Emotional Toll Of Dieting

We talk a lot about the failure rate of dieting (by far the most likely outcome) and the physical harm of weight cycling aka yo-yo dieting (by far the most likely outcome of doing more than one diet.) And of course for some For some, of course, dieting moves from disordered eating into an eating disorder and can become life-threatening But it’s not just health impacts. Weight cycling can also take a serious emotional toll and that’s what I talked about in my latest for The Mighty.

Click here to read the full piece here!

UPCOMING ONLINE WORKSHOP:
When Good Friends Do Bad Diets

As the New Year comes around, the diet industry is doing everything it can to convince all of us to make another (ultimately doomed) weight loss attempt. Even when we aren’t fooled, often our nearest and dearest are still riding the diet roller coaster. And typically that means that they want to talk about it – anywhere and everywhere – in ways that can be anything from annoying to harmful. In this workshop we’ll talk about options for dealing with this in all the scenarios that we may find ourselves in.

Details and Registration: https://danceswithfat.org/monthly-online-workshops/
*This workshop is free for DancesWithFat members

Did You Like It? If you appreciate the work that I do, you can support my ability to do more of it with a one-time tip or by becoming a member. (Members get special deals on fat-positive stuff, a monthly e-mail keeping them up to date on the work their membership supports, and the ability to ask me questions that I answer in a members-only monthly Q&A Video!)

Like this blog?  Here’s more stuff you might like:

Wellness for All Bodies Program:A simple, step-by-step, super efficient guide to setting and reaching your health goals from a weight-neutral perspective.  This program can be used by individuals, or by groups, including as a workplace wellness program!

Price: $25.00 ($10 for DancesWithFat members – register on the member page)

Non-members Click here for all the details and to register!
Body Love Obstacle Course

This e-course that includes coaching videos, a study guide, and an ebook with the tools you need to create a rock-solid relationship with your body. Our relationships with our bodies don’t happen in a vacuum, so just learning to see our beauty isn’t going to cut it. The world throws obstacles in our way – obstacles that aren’t our fault, but become our problem. Over the course of this program, Ragen Chastain, Jeanette DePatie, and six incredible guest coaches will teach you practical, realistic, proven strategies to go above, around, and through the obstacles that the world puts in front of you when it comes to living an amazing life in the body you have now.
Price: $99.00 Click here to register
($79.00 for DancesWithFat members – register on the member page)

Love It! 234 Inspirations And Activities to Help You Love Your Body
This is filled with thoughtful advice from the authors Jeanette DePatie, Ragen Chastain, and Pia Sciavo-Campo as well as dozens of other notable names from the body love movement, the book is lovingly illustrated with diverse drawings from size-positive artist Toni Tails.
Price: $9.99 softcover, $7.99 Kindle, ($6.95 + free shipping for DancesWithFat Members)

Book Me!  I’d love to speak to your organization (and I can do it remotely!) You can get more information here or just e-mail me at ragen at danceswithfat dot org!

Answers to the Question: Do You Need To Eat That?

“Do you need to eat that?” Has this question ever been asked in a way that wasn’t passive aggressive fat/food shaming? As we eat with our families (over zoom) this holiday season, I wanted to give some options for responding to this utterly bullshit question for my Wednesday Fat Positive Video.

(Hint: After this video you can keep watching to see all of this year’s holiday-themed videos!

Subscribe to my YouTube channel to make sure that you never miss a video! https://www.youtube.com/danceswithfat

UPCOMING ONLINE WORKSHOP:
When Good Friends Do Bad Diets

As the New Year comes around, the diet industry is doing everything it can to convince all of us to make another (ultimately doomed) weight loss attempt. Even when we aren’t fooled, often our nearest and dearest are still riding the diet roller coaster. And typically that means that they want to talk about it – anywhere and everywhere – in ways that can be anything from annoying to harmful. In this workshop we’ll talk about options for dealing with this in all the scenarios that we may find ourselves in.

Details and Registration: https://danceswithfat.org/monthly-online-workshops/
*This workshop is free for DancesWithFat members

Did You Like It? If you appreciate the work that I do, you can support my ability to do more of it with a one-time tip or by becoming a member. (Members get special deals on fat-positive stuff, a monthly e-mail keeping them up to date on the work their membership supports, and the ability to ask me questions that I answer in a members-only monthly Q&A Video!)

Like this blog?  Here’s more stuff you might like:

Wellness for All Bodies Program:A simple, step-by-step, super efficient guide to setting and reaching your health goals from a weight-neutral perspective.  This program can be used by individuals, or by groups, including as a workplace wellness program!

Price: $25.00 ($10 for DancesWithFat members – register on the member page)

Non-members Click here for all the details and to register!
Body Love Obstacle Course

This e-course that includes coaching videos, a study guide, and an ebook with the tools you need to create a rock-solid relationship with your body. Our relationships with our bodies don’t happen in a vacuum, so just learning to see our beauty isn’t going to cut it. The world throws obstacles in our way – obstacles that aren’t our fault, but become our problem. Over the course of this program, Ragen Chastain, Jeanette DePatie, and six incredible guest coaches will teach you practical, realistic, proven strategies to go above, around, and through the obstacles that the world puts in front of you when it comes to living an amazing life in the body you have now.
Price: $99.00 Click here to register
($79.00 for DancesWithFat members – register on the member page)

Love It! 234 Inspirations And Activities to Help You Love Your Body
This is filled with thoughtful advice from the authors Jeanette DePatie, Ragen Chastain, and Pia Sciavo-Campo as well as dozens of other notable names from the body love movement, the book is lovingly illustrated with diverse drawings from size-positive artist Toni Tails.
Price: $9.99 softcover, $7.99 Kindle, ($6.95 + free shipping for DancesWithFat Members)

Book Me!  I’d love to speak to your organization (and I can do it remotely!) You can get more information here or just e-mail me at ragen at danceswithfat dot org!

How To Avoid Ruining The Holidays For Fat Family And Friends

Picture of a pug walking toward the camera saying “If I want the Food Police I’ll call Pie-1-1”

I spend a lot of time helping fat people deal with the bullshit fat-shaming that comes our way daily, and that often escalates at the holidays (whether we celebrate them or not.)  I try to be clear that these things are not our fault, even though they become our problem and that the problem isn’t fat people, it’s fat-shaming. So today I wanted to take a second to talk directly to fat-shamers of the on-purpose, accidental, and potential variety – however well-meaning they may be – about how they can stop the problem before it even starts at the holidays, and all year long! The lack of in-person gatherings may cut down on this nonsense, but I’ve already heard from people who are experiencing this at zoom events.

Don’t give a weight loss or “health” gift

Don’t give a gym membership, diet club membership, “healthy meal” delivery etc. unless the person has very specifically asked for it. Including and especially if you’re only assuming that they don’t already do or have these things because of your stereotypes about fat people, or as a passive-aggressive hint that you think they may “need” the gift. Instead, if you want to give a gift, consider choosing something based on the person’s actual likes and interests rather than stereotypes and fat-shaming. Or maybe a nice gift certificate.

Don’t be the food police

Don’t monitor, comment on, or concern yourself in any way with fat people’s (or any sized people’s) food choices at parties, holiday dinners or, hey, ever.  If we need the food police, we’ll call Pie-1-1. If you feel like you might have to deal with the Family and Friends Food Police, here are some tips.  If you want some ideas to help when you witness this kind of food shaming, check here.

Don’t give a fat-shaming card

Way too many fat people get cards with some version of  “We love you and we want you to lose weight because we want you to be around a long time.” If you honestly can’t figure out why “Happy Holidays! Please don’t die of fat because mourning you would be a major bummer for us” isn’t an appropriate message for a holiday card, then please just take my word for it this is a bad idea. And also, consider that giving cards may not be for you. The person to whom you deliver this little Hallmark moment may be able to defend themselves in court successfully with “Your Honor, they needed a killin”

This happened to my partner a few years ago and she chose to cut ties with the relatives completely, about which it seems they are upset. Bad behavior can have undesired consequences for everyone, don’t put your fat friends and family in this position.

Don’t engage in diet talk or negative body talk

This suggestion isn’t just to help fat guests, but also for guests of any size who may be dealing with eating disorders, or guests who are interested in conversations that aren’t boring as hell. Find something else to talk about than why you are or are not eating what you are or are not eating.  Skip the 5-minute soliloquy on what you feel you have to do to punish yourself for eating pie, and ask somebody at the party to tell you about themselves instead, or go watch TV, or play on your phone, whatever.

Don’t comment on body size changes

Nothing says “Happy Holidays” like knowing that your relatives are monitoring your body. You might think it’s a compliment to ask if someone has lost weight but that question is super loaded – perhaps they’ve lost weight because of illness, grief, medication, an eating disorder, or something else unwanted or unintentional. Perhaps they are uncomfortable with having their body size made into a topic for discussion (maybe because it’s hella inappropriate…) Perhaps they haven’t lost weight and, however well-intentioned you may be, they take it as backhanded or passive-aggressive. (Or perhaps you intended it to be backhanded or passive-aggressive in which case you’re being an ass,  won’t you please be a dear, and knock that shit off.)  If you want some suggestions for wading through the tricky world of weight loss compliments (like what to do when someone tells you’ve they’ve lost weight and then looks at you expectantly), you’ll find that here.

Don’t stage some kind of weight loss intervention

This should be a big pile of obvious in an obvious box with an obvious bow, but every year some asshat who wants to be thought of as “brave” writes an article about how the holidays are the perfect time to fat shame your relatives “for their own good.” First of all, people’s weight and health (two different things) aren’t your business unless they ask you to make them your business. Even if you don’t believe that, the holidays are definitely not the time to do this.  And if you feel that you have to do this at the holidays because it’s the only time you see that person, then consider how relevant you really are in their lives and whether you have any business doing this at all.  Then don’t. Just don’t. Don’t. Do Not. Trust me when I tell you, you are not The Fat Person Whisperer.

By the way, if you want a cartoon that explains that people shouldn’t do these things (in song!) I made one and you can find it here!

UPCOMING ONLINE WORKSHOP:
When Good Friends Do Bad Diets

As the New Year comes around, the diet industry is doing everything it can to convince all of us to make another (ultimately doomed) weight loss attempt. Even when we aren’t fooled, often our nearest and dearest are still riding the diet roller coaster. And typically that means that they want to talk about it – anywhere and everywhere – in ways that can be anything from annoying to harmful. In this workshop we’ll talk about options for dealing with this in all the scenarios that we may find ourselves in.

Details and Registration: https://danceswithfat.org/monthly-online-workshops/
*This workshop is free for DancesWithFat members

Did You Like It? If you appreciate the work that I do, you can support my ability to do more of it with a one-time tip or by becoming a member. (Members get special deals on fat-positive stuff, a monthly e-mail keeping them up to date on the work their membership supports, and the ability to ask me questions that I answer in a members-only monthly Q&A Video!)

Like this blog?  Here’s more stuff you might like:

Wellness for All Bodies Program:A simple, step-by-step, super efficient guide to setting and reaching your health goals from a weight-neutral perspective.  This program can be used by individuals, or by groups, including as a workplace wellness program!

Price: $25.00 ($10 for DancesWithFat members – register on the member page)

Non-members Click here for all the details and to register!
Body Love Obstacle Course

This e-course that includes coaching videos, a study guide, and an ebook with the tools you need to create a rock-solid relationship with your body. Our relationships with our bodies don’t happen in a vacuum, so just learning to see our beauty isn’t going to cut it. The world throws obstacles in our way – obstacles that aren’t our fault, but become our problem. Over the course of this program, Ragen Chastain, Jeanette DePatie, and six incredible guest coaches will teach you practical, realistic, proven strategies to go above, around, and through the obstacles that the world puts in front of you when it comes to living an amazing life in the body you have now.
Price: $99.00 Click here to register
($79.00 for DancesWithFat members – register on the member page)

Love It! 234 Inspirations And Activities to Help You Love Your Body
This is filled with thoughtful advice from the authors Jeanette DePatie, Ragen Chastain, and Pia Sciavo-Campo as well as dozens of other notable names from the body love movement, the book is lovingly illustrated with diverse drawings from size-positive artist Toni Tails.
Price: $9.99 softcover, $7.99 Kindle, ($6.95 + free shipping for DancesWithFat Members)

Book Me!  I’d love to speak to your organization (and I can do it remotely!) You can get more information here or just e-mail me at ragen at danceswithfat dot org!

Fatphobia Is Never a Good Gift

In case you’re dealing with people who don’t know that they should mind their own business, leave you alone, and not give you the “gift” of fatphobia this year, here’s a little cartoon that can help!
(I’m putting out new videos every Wednesday during the holidays. This link it to a playlist so you can just keep watching and see the new ones from this year, as well as last year’s!)

UPCOMING ONLINE WORKSHOP:
When Good Friends Do Bad Diets

As the New Year comes around, the diet industry is doing everything it can to convince all of us to make another (ultimately doomed) weight loss attempt. Even when we aren’t fooled, often our nearest and dearest are still riding the diet roller coaster. And typically that means that they want to talk about it – anywhere and everywhere – in ways that can be anything from annoying to harmful. In this workshop we’ll talk about options for dealing with this in all the scenarios that we may find ourselves in.

Details and Registration: https://danceswithfat.org/monthly-online-workshops/
*This workshop is free for DancesWithFat members

Did You Like It? If you appreciate the work that I do, you can support my ability to do more of it with a one-time tip or by becoming a member. (Members get special deals on fat-positive stuff, a monthly e-mail keeping them up to date on the work their membership supports, and the ability to ask me questions that I answer in a members-only monthly Q&A Video!)

Like this blog?  Here’s more stuff you might like:

Wellness for All Bodies Program:A simple, step-by-step, super efficient guide to setting and reaching your health goals from a weight-neutral perspective.  This program can be used by individuals, or by groups, including as a workplace wellness program!

Price: $25.00 ($10 for DancesWithFat members – register on the member page)

Non-members Click here for all the details and to register!
Body Love Obstacle Course

This e-course that includes coaching videos, a study guide, and an ebook with the tools you need to create a rock-solid relationship with your body. Our relationships with our bodies don’t happen in a vacuum, so just learning to see our beauty isn’t going to cut it. The world throws obstacles in our way – obstacles that aren’t our fault, but become our problem. Over the course of this program, Ragen Chastain, Jeanette DePatie, and six incredible guest coaches will teach you practical, realistic, proven strategies to go above, around, and through the obstacles that the world puts in front of you when it comes to living an amazing life in the body you have now.
Price: $99.00 Click here to register
($79.00 for DancesWithFat members – register on the member page)

Love It! 234 Inspirations And Activities to Help You Love Your Body
This is filled with thoughtful advice from the authors Jeanette DePatie, Ragen Chastain, and Pia Sciavo-Campo as well as dozens of other notable names from the body love movement, the book is lovingly illustrated with diverse drawings from size-positive artist Toni Tails.
Price: $9.99 softcover, $7.99 Kindle, ($6.95 + free shipping for DancesWithFat Members)

Book Me!  I’d love to speak to your organization (and I can do it remotely!) You can get more information here or just e-mail me at ragen at danceswithfat dot org!

Let’s Talk About Fatphobia and Eating Disorders

I had the honor being a guest on the Recovery Bites podcast with Karin Lewis.

We talked about:

  • Navigating in a society designed to exclude, shame, and oppress people on the basis of shared characteristics or identities.
  • Medical weight stigma in regards to diagnosis, care, and treatment options.
  • Nurturing the parts of self that question authority and challenge the narrative.
  • The ways in which diet culture, dieting, and fatphobia perpetuate eating disorders and can make full recovery feel impossible.
  • The value and need for trust between client and provider.
  • How fat activism aims to dismantle diet culture and fatphobia in the community so that people of every size have equal opportunity to fully recover.
  • Strategies one can use to stand up for themself and advocate for equal healthcare and education of health practitioners.
  • The dangers of weight-loss interventions and weight loss surgery.
  • Challenging the beliefs that add to the oppression of fat people and moving into thoughts and actions that support body liberation for those of all sizes.

You can check it out here (and while you’re there, check out all the episodes!)

https://karinlewisedc.com/podcast/episode33

UPCOMING ONLINE WORKSHOP:
When Good Friends Do Bad Diets

As the New Year comes around, the diet industry is doing everything it can to convince all of us to make another (ultimately doomed) weight loss attempt. Even when we aren’t fooled, often our nearest and dearest are still riding the diet roller coaster. And typically that means that they want to talk about it – anywhere and everywhere – in ways that can be anything from annoying to harmful. In this workshop we’ll talk about options for dealing with this in all the scenarios that we may find ourselves in.

Details and Registration: https://danceswithfat.org/monthly-online-workshops/
*This workshop is free for DancesWithFat members

Did You Like It? If you appreciate the work that I do, you can support my ability to do more of it with a one-time tip or by becoming a member. (Members get special deals on fat-positive stuff, a monthly e-mail keeping them up to date on the work their membership supports, and the ability to ask me questions that I answer in a members-only monthly Q&A Video!)

Like this blog?  Here’s more stuff you might like:

Wellness for All Bodies Program:A simple, step-by-step, super efficient guide to setting and reaching your health goals from a weight-neutral perspective.  This program can be used by individuals, or by groups, including as a workplace wellness program!

Price: $25.00 ($10 for DancesWithFat members – register on the member page)

Non-members Click here for all the details and to register!
Body Love Obstacle Course

This e-course that includes coaching videos, a study guide, and an ebook with the tools you need to create a rock-solid relationship with your body. Our relationships with our bodies don’t happen in a vacuum, so just learning to see our beauty isn’t going to cut it. The world throws obstacles in our way – obstacles that aren’t our fault, but become our problem. Over the course of this program, Ragen Chastain, Jeanette DePatie, and six incredible guest coaches will teach you practical, realistic, proven strategies to go above, around, and through the obstacles that the world puts in front of you when it comes to living an amazing life in the body you have now.
Price: $99.00 Click here to register
($79.00 for DancesWithFat members – register on the member page)

Love It! 234 Inspirations And Activities to Help You Love Your Body
This is filled with thoughtful advice from the authors Jeanette DePatie, Ragen Chastain, and Pia Sciavo-Campo as well as dozens of other notable names from the body love movement, the book is lovingly illustrated with diverse drawings from size-positive artist Toni Tails.
Price: $9.99 softcover, $7.99 Kindle, ($6.95 + free shipping for DancesWithFat Members)

Book Me!  I’d love to speak to your organization (and I can do it remotely!) You can get more information here or just e-mail me at ragen at danceswithfat dot org!