Leonard Nimoy passed away today at the age of 83 after a long and successful career that included acting (of course, developing the role of Spock on Star Trek) and directing (including the box office smash Three Men and a Baby.)  He also sang, wrote poetry, and was a photographer.

One of his photography projects was called “The Full Body Project” (images NSFW) and was comprised of pictures – many of them nude – of fat women. And it is absolutely glorious.

According to a piece in Mashable (images NSFW) Nimoy told Natalie Angier, who wrote the introduction to The Full Body Project that:

“He was deeply troubled upon hearing that most women felt some degree of body shame.It really disturbed him that women who considered themselves overweight had this terrible feeling about themselves. He wanted to show the world that there’s beauty to be found in different body types.”

Many people are currently sharing the photo project and, sadly, getting ridiculous “But these women aren’t healthy!” comments in return. So I wanted to talk about this to honor and thank Leonard Nimoy for creating beautiful representations of fat women, to honor the women in the photographs, and in case those people sharing these would like some ammunition for dealing with the concern trolling that may come after.

First of all you cannot tell someone’s health based on their body size. If you think you can, then you are quite simply wrong.

But there’s no need to get into a conversation about this because the health status of these women has literally nothing to do with this. Health is not an obligation, a barometer of worthiness, or a gatekeeper that determines who is or is not allowed to love their body, find themselves and be found beautiful, and be photographed naked, or represented in a positive way.

As I’ve pointed out before, the truth is that this whole “It’s because of fat people’s health” thing is just a crappy justification for size-based discrimination, and it’s long past time to stop using healthism to justify sizeism, and to end both of them instead. To do anything else, especially as it pertains to these pictures, is disrespectful to the photographer and the subjects, and is complete bullshit.

LLAP Leonard Nimoy, thank you for everything.

Like this blog?  Here’s more cool stuff:

European Speaking Tour

I’ll be in Europe later this year.  I’m putting together a European speaking tour so if you’re in the area and interested in having me come speak shoot me an e-mail at ragen at danceswithfat dot org and we’ll work out the details!

Become a Member For ten bucks a month you can support size diversity activism, help keep the blog ad free, and get deals from size positive businesses as a thank you.  Click here for details

Buy the book:  Fat:  The Owner’s Manual  The E-Book is Name Your Own Price! Click here for details

Book Me!  I’d love to speak to your organization. You can get more information on topics, previous engagements and reviews here or just e-mail me at ragen at danceswithfat dot org!

Dance Classes:  Buy the Dance Class DVDs or download individual classes – Every Body Dance Now! Click here for details 

The Brave Body Love Summit is still going on, offering tools to support and improve your relationship with your body.  Week one is over and the recordings are now available, week two is in full swing.  Check it out here!

I’m training for an IRONMAN! You can follow my journey at www.IronFat.com

A movie about my time as a dancer is in active development (casting, finding investors etc.).  Follow the progress on Facebook!

If you are uncomfortable with my offering things for sale on this site, you are invited to check out this post.

 

 

I have become incredibly annoyed with all of the diet ads that I get bombarded with every day (dude, magical weight loss tea is not a “movement’ that people can “join”, what the effing crap.)

Whenever they are online I mark them as “misleading” or, at least, “I don’t want to see this” and hide them.  Unfortunately plenty of the ads are not deletable – magazines at the grocery store, billboards, even diet ads at the movies now.  So I decided the next best thing to deleting them is making them into a game.

In that spirit, I offer the Diet Ad BINGO card below. You’ll note that “Disclaimer” is the free space because, since they don’t work, they all have some sort of disclaimer/fine print (like “results not even close to typical” or “this diet may kill you.“) As always, people are allowed to diet if they choose (underpants rule!), and people are allowed to poke fun at the diet industry which makes over $60 Billion a year selling a product that is such a failure that they are legally required to say that it doesn’t work every time they advertise it. Happy BINGO-ing:

European Speaking Tour

I’ll be in Europe later this year.  I’m putting together a European speaking tour so if you’re in the area and interested in having me come speak shoot me an e-mail at ragen at danceswithfat dot org and we’ll work out the details!

Like this blog?  Here’s more cool stuff:

Become a Member For ten bucks a month you can support size diversity activism, help keep the blog ad free, and get deals from size positive businesses as a thank you.  Click here for details

Buy the book:  Fat:  The Owner’s Manual  The E-Book is Name Your Own Price! Click here for details

Book Me!  I’d love to speak to your organization. You can get more information on topics, previous engagements and reviews here or just e-mail me at ragen at danceswithfat dot org!

Dance Classes:  Buy the Dance Class DVDs or download individual classes – Every Body Dance Now! Click here for details 

The Brave Body Love Summit is still going on, offering tools to support and improve your relationship with your body.  Week one is over and the recordings are now available, week two is in full swing.  Check it out here!

I’m training for an IRONMAN! You can follow my journey at www.IronFat.com

A movie about my time as a dancer is in active development (casting, finding investors etc.).  Follow the progress on Facebook!

If you are uncomfortable with my offering things for sale on this site, you are invited to check out this post.

Anyone who spends any amount of time standing up to a screwed up world (aka engaging in activism) is bound to hear these, and could definitely live without them:

1.  “They are allowed to do that.”  or “What they are doing is legal.”

When someone points out discrimination, there’s always someone who wants to come along and point out reasons that the discrimination is legal.  These people are missing the point by so much that they can’t even see it from where they are.  Activism isn’t about whether or not discrimination/poor treatment is legal, it’s about whether or not we are are going to stand for it.  And if we’re doing activism then people can go ahead and assume that the answer to that question is no, we’re not.  There is always someone willing to justify discrimination – ask yourself if you really want to be that person and, if you do, consider being that person somewhere else.

2.  It probably won’t happen.

When I announced that I was going to do an IRONMAN triathlon, two people contacted me to tell me that they were going to register for the IM so that they could drown me during the swim. When I talked about it, people (many of them trolls from the same internet communities that the death threats came from)  told me that I shouldn’t worry about it (and some suggested that I shouldn’t talk about it) because they probably wouldn’t do it. I’ve noticed this happens basically any time an activist discusses the rape, violence, and death threats that we receive – often the message comes from the same communities that issued the threats in the first place. Let’s keep our eye on the ball people, threatening someone with physical violence is never ok, and it’s hardly justifiable because they probably won’t actually rape, hurt, or kill us.

Another iteration of this is when we point out dangerous discriminatory things that are being proposed – like legislation to fine the parents of fat kids – and people say “don’t worry, it probably won’t happen.” The fact that these things are proposed is a massive problem in and of itself (using our legislation example, if the world were not in such a ridiculous place around body size, that legislation would never be introduced in the first place) If you don’t think that something is worth talking about, then I would suggest that you to not talk about it, rather than spending time discouraging someone who clearly thinks that it is worth talking about.

3.  There are bigger problems. 

The thing about this is that if we all only ever worked on the biggest problem nothing would get done because we would spend all of our time arguing about what the biggest problem is.  Each of us gets to choose how, when, and why we do activism and if someone thinks there is a different issue that needs to be addressed, then I definitely encourage them to address it. (Note that this is not meant to discourage discussions about intersectionality, what I’m talking about here is someone saying that they want to do activism around what clothing sizes are available and someone suggesting that they shouldn’t because fat people’s access to medical care is a bigger problem.)

4.  “If you’re happy just live your life and don’t worry about what other people think!” Other phrasing includes “If you were really happy with yourself, you wouldn’t have to talk about it all the time” and “Don’t meet hate with anger just be nice and stay positive!”

As always, people are allowed to deal with the oppression that they deal with any way that they want and I’m not suggesting that any of these are inappropriate reactions, I think it’s important to realize that they aren’t obligatory and it’s not ok to tell someone who is dealing with oppression how they should deal with it – especially if they didn’t ask for your opinion.

I think it’s important to talk about things that are oppressive, especially since it’s easy for those who aren’t part of a marginalized group to ignore them – not because they are necessarily trying to or because their intentions are bad, but because they don’t have to deal with them, so they don’t have to think about them. (And part of being a good activist is learning about and fighting oppression that other groups are facing.)

I also think that it’s important to look at the balance of power.  The suggestion that if I’m happy I should just live my life and not care about what others say is a nice one, but I don’t think it takes into account the stereotyping, stigma, bullying, marginalization and oppression that fat people face, and the impact that has on our lives.  The government is encouraging people to wage war on me because of my size. Doctors are allowed to refuse service to me based on my size, and it’s ok for them not to have equipment that will work for me – beds that won’t hold me, chairs the won’t fit me, instruments that are too small for me.  Medical practices, and other business, almost everywhere in the country are allowed  – and do –  refuse to hire fat people or fire us strictly because of how we look, and regardless of our actual skills or job performance.

People who are dealing with oppression are allowed to ignore it, meet it with constant positivity, and carve out a life around it – there’s absolutely nothing wrong with those choices, sometimes that’s how I react as well, but in general it’s not my style. Engaging in activism – including calling out oppression – helps me to know that I am doing something about the bullshit I have to deal with, and that helps me deal with it. I think that ignoring bullies allows them to bully in silence without any push back, I want to end bullying and dismantle oppression and for me that starts with speaking up about it, and the last thing I need is someone, however well intentioned, telling me to quiet down.

Random Requests:

1.  I want to get in touch with Beth Ditto for a possible collaboration – if you know her, I would love an introduction you can e-mail me at ragen at danceswithfat dot org

2. It looks like I’ll be in Europe later this year.  I’m putting together a European speaking tour so if you’re in the area and interested in having me come speak shoot me an e-mail at ragen at danceswithfat dot org and we’ll work out the details!

Like this blog?  Here’s more cool stuff:

I’m speaking tonight at the Brave Body Love Summit tonight at 6pm PST 35+ speakers (including me) offering tools to support and improve your relationship with your body.  Week one is over and the recordings are now available. Check it out here!

Become a Member For ten bucks a month you can support size diversity activism, help keep the blog ad free, and get deals from size positive businesses as a thank you.  Click here for details

Buy the book:  Fat:  The Owner’s Manual  The E-Book is Name Your Own Price! Click here for details

Book Me!  I’d love to speak to your organization. You can get more information on topics, previous engagements and reviews here or just e-mail me at ragen at danceswithfat dot org!

Dance Classes:  Buy the Dance Class DVDs or download individual classes – Every Body Dance Now! Click here for details 

I’m training for an IRONMAN! You can follow my journey at www.IronFat.com

A movie about my time as a dancer is in active development (casting, finding investors etc.).  Follow the progress on Facebook!

If you are uncomfortable with my offering things for sale on this site, you are invited to check out this post.

There’s a video making its way around Facebook with what appears to be two fat ballroom dancers doing a fabulous jive.  A number of people have sent this to me excited to see two fat ballroom dancers getting such great attention.  Except it’s not.  It’s two dancers who are dressed in fat suits and, while the dancing is good, there are also some of the tired fat jokes you might expect.

Once again I find that I’m typing something that should be so painfully obvious that it shouldn’t have to be said or typed ever:  It is not ok to dress up like a member of an oppressed group for “fun” or profit.  It’s especially not cool to dress up like a member of an oppressed group and act like a caricature of that group to get cheap laughs off of the stereotypes that get people in that community bullied, stigmatized, and oppressed. There is no justification for this behavior.

[Edit to address something that’s coming up in comments: I should have made this clear initially and I apologize for not doing so. Doing this is wrong regardless of the oppressed group someone is imitating, that said, the imitations are not the same and aren’t comparable.  Wearing a fat suit is not the same thing as “black face” because of the history behind it (Jenée Desmond-Harris wrote a great article about it for Vox this I highly recommend.)]

Sadly this is hardly the first time.  In a dance circuit in which I competed two World Champions in the highest professional division – Ronnie and Brandi – spent three long seasons wringing every cheap laugh out of the use of a fat suit in their Masters Showcase Routine.  Three.  Seasons.  And when confronted they said that it wasn’t a fat joke, it was a joke about internet dating (his horror at the fact that she showed up for their internet date and was fat, her getting stuck in dance moves in the fat suit, his relief and her dance improvement when she took off the fat suit etc.)  Just in case there are people who would believe this BS, here’s an easy test – if it requires a fat suit, it’s a fat joke. And it’s bullshit, straight up.

Adding fuel to the fire is the fact that performers wearing fat suits often get far more attention than actual talented fat people (and they don’t have to deal with a bunch of bullshit concern trolling.)  It also adds to the difficulty that fat performers face since every time we step on stage we have to overcome people’s prejudices and preconceived notions before we even have a chance of them recognizing our talent.  When people throw on a fat suit and reinforce those prejudices and preconceived notions it makes it even harder for us.

Wearing a fat suit as an online dating experiment is questionable, wearing it to see what it’s like to be fat is also questionable when there are completely credible accounts from real live actual fat people about what it’s like to be a real live actual fat person (and is especially questionable when your grip on science and logic is as tenuous as that of Dr. Oz.)  But wearing a fat suit to get cheap laughs because we live in a society where somehow it’s funny that fat people exist in the world and do stuff is completely deplorable. Just stop.  Instead share a video of an actual fat performer and help us give people the opportunity to overcome their prejudices and preconceived notions and see that talent isn’t a size.

Like this blog?  Here’s more cool stuff:

There’s still a chance to get into the Brave Body Love Summit. Week one is over and the recordings are available, week two is in full swing.  I did my talk tonight and it was a blast.  Huge thanks to Michelle Hell for putting this one.   Check it out here!

Become a Member For ten bucks a month you can support size diversity activism, help keep the blog ad free, and get deals from size positive businesses as a thank you.  Click here for details

Buy the book:  Fat:  The Owner’s Manual  The E-Book is Name Your Own Price! Click here for details

Book Me!  I’d love to speak to your organization. You can get more information on topics, previous engagements and reviews here or just e-mail me at ragen at danceswithfat dot org!

Dance Classes:  Buy the Dance Class DVDs or download individual classes – Every Body Dance Now! Click here for details 

I’m training for an IRONMAN! You can follow my journey at www.IronFat.com

A movie about my time as a dancer is in active development (casting, finding investors etc.).  Follow the progress on Facebook!

If you are uncomfortable with my offering things for sale on this site, you are invited to check out this post.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

After a year of working at The Blue Book Cabaret show at New Orleans club Lucky Pierre’s, Ruby Rage found herself off the schedule. Thinking it was a computer error, she called the show’s producer. Turns out there was no mistake, just blatant discrimination. She was told that the upper management of Lucky Pierre’s didn’t think her body was right for burlesque. When people went off on Lucky Pierre’s for blatant discrimination and giving Burlesque a bad name, LP doubled down with a Facebook response:

We would like to thank everyone for their opinion on Burlesque. Let’s face the facts, in the long history of the art there is an expected image. Josephine Backer, Gypsy Rose Lee, Bettie Page, Blaze Starr, Dita Von Teese, and Mae West. This image was carried to main stream by movies like Burlesque and Cabaret.

If this leaves any doubt of the worlds expectation of Burlesque let’s take a minute to look at the photos by Stephen Le Marche who says, “I love the old world charm of burlesque” and “Burlesque shows off the dancer’s amazing physique.”

This concept is carried through the many burlesque clubs around the world. The Crazy Horse Paris, X Burlesque, Volupte’, Club Noir, Hubba Hubba Revue, Jumbo Clown room and Moulin Rouge.

The world has a standard for burlesque and our dramatically comical musical show will achieve that standard.

Please also take a moment to help clear any more confusion on what is burlesque and watch the video from the burlesque hall of fame 2014 Miss Exotic World champion LouLou D’Vil. As well as this clip from Carson Daily show.

Thank you for the continued support as we create the greatest show in America.”

Many of those mentioned in the statement, along with other big names in Burlesque, spoke out against the statement in seriously strong language.  As they should, because this is bullshit.

Even if the statement wasn’t just chock full o’ lies, using past discrimination to justify current and future discrimination is an age old tool that must be recognized and called out (and not in a “but she’s not even that fat” defense.)  If you’re planning on making a “they are allowed to choose who performs in their show” argument, save yourself the effort.  The question here isn’t whether or not this particular type of discrimination is legal, it’s whether or not we’re going to stand for it.

I cannot wait to live in a world where we chose our performers based on their ability to perform and not based on some stereotype of beauty, and where people fight discrimination instead of arguing that it’s not technically against the law, and I’m going to actively work to create that world.  How about you? Nobody is obligated to do activism but if you get the urge, here are some things that you can do:

Head over to Lucky Pierre’s Facebook page and let them know what you think.

Let Yelp know what you think of Lucky Pierre’s policy of blatant discrimination.

Write a review of Lucky Pierre’s for Google.

Show Ruby some love on Facebook.

Get the word out – share this blog or other articles about this on your social media.

Random Requests:

1.  I’m want to get in touch with Beth Ditto for a possible collaboration – if you know her, I would love an introduction you can e-mail me at ragen at danceswithfat dot org

2. It looks like I’ll be in Europe later this year.  I’m putting together a European speaking tour so if you’re in the area and interested in having me come speak shoot me an e-mail at ragen at danceswithfat dot org and we’ll work out the details!

Like this blog?  Here’s more cool stuff:

I’m speaking tonight at the Brave Body Love Summit tonight at 6pm PST 35+ speakers (including me) offering tools to support and improve your relationship with your body.  Week one is over and the recordings are now available. Check it out here!

Become a Member For ten bucks a month you can support size diversity activism, help keep the blog ad free, and get deals from size positive businesses as a thank you.  Click here for details

Buy the book:  Fat:  The Owner’s Manual  The E-Book is Name Your Own Price! Click here for details

Book Me!  I’d love to speak to your organization. You can get more information on topics, previous engagements and reviews here or just e-mail me at ragen at danceswithfat dot org!

Dance Classes:  Buy the Dance Class DVDs or download individual classes – Every Body Dance Now! Click here for details 

I’m training for an IRONMAN! You can follow my journey at www.IronFat.com

A movie about my time as a dancer is in active development (casting, finding investors etc.).  Follow the progress on Facebook!

If you are uncomfortable with my offering things for sale on this site, you are invited to check out this post.

 

 

I get a lot of hatemail, but sometimes I get something that I would call more…patheti-mail.  People who perhaps think that they are being clever but are, in fact, simultaneously completely missing and illustrating my point.  Today the “Does Not Get it” Award was won by Chris S. Chris decided to spend time emailing me this gem:

In your blog you wrote that losing 5 pounds in two years is not a success and that you could easily do it.  So if its [sic] so easy to lose that weight why don’t you prove it?

Chris has missed the point in a way that I can only describe as epic. If you’re interested in what I actually say about this, you are welcome to read this post. But I do appreciate Chris perfectly illustrating for us the kind of ridiculous thinking that leads to the continued recommendation of weight loss as a way for people to get thinner and/or healthier (two different things) despite the mountain of evidence that makes it clear that it is terrible at both of these things.

First of all, a quick review about how weight loss works or, y’know, doesn’t.  Almost everyone can lose weight short term, almost everyone gains it all back within 5 years, a majority of people gain back more than they lost.  (Diet companies have figured out how to successfully take credit for the weight loss, blame the client for the weight gain, and make a ton of money on repeat business.)

This leads to people pointing to short term weight loss as proof of the possibility of long term weight loss.  I think that’s very much like suggesting that the time I spend in the air after I jump off the roof is proof that I could fly to avoid hitting the ground if I really tried hard enough.  Both the time in the air, and the impact with the ground are inevitable from the time I jump off the roof as, for almost everyone, are the short term weight loss and long term weight regain inevitable from the time they start the intentional weight loss attempt (whether they call it a diet, lifestyle change, eating plan or something else.)

This has also led to the claim that [ever decreasing x amount] of weight loss has a positive effect on health – the number that constituted x pounds started out as a specific weight based on height, but doctors weren’t able to get people to lose weight to that amount, so they started saying “20% of body weight” but they couldn’t get people to lose that so they started saying “10% of body weight” but they couldn’t get people to lose that so they started saying “just 5%” and when that didn’t work for Weight Watchers, they claimed that 5 pounds in two years (regardless of your starting weight) is a good result.

Just to make it crystal clear, the amount of weight one “needed to lose” to have “health benefits” started as an arbitrary number and actually got less research-based from there. It also leads to the ridiculous ideas that weight loss by any means is somehow a good thing which in turns leads to doctors prescribing things to fat people that they would diagnose as problems in thin people.

So the answer to Chris’s inquiry is that, while Chris may well be the kind of person who would do something poorly advised because of a dare from a stranger on the internet, I am not nearly so foolish. I have already done my time on the diet roller coaster and, having done the research and knowing that health is not an obligation, barometer of worthiness, entirely within my control, or guaranteed under any circumstances I am very comfortable that my decision to focus on behaviors (rather than trying to manipulate my body size) is best for both my mental and physical health.

Random Request:

1.  I’m trying to meet Beth Ditto for a possible collaboration – if you know her, I would love an introduction you can e-mail me at ragen at danceswithfat dot org

2. It looks like I’ll be in Europe later this year.  I’m putting together a European speaking tour so if you’re in the area and interested in having me come speak shoot me an e-mail at ragen at danceswithfat dot org and we’ll work out the details!

Like this blog?  Here’s more cool stuff:

Become a Member For ten bucks a month you can support size diversity activism, help keep the blog ad free, and get deals from size positive businesses as a thank you.  Click here for details

Buy the book:  Fat:  The Owner’s Manual  The E-Book is Name Your Own Price! Click here for details

Book Me!  I’d love to speak to your organization. You can get more information on topics, previous engagements and reviews here or just e-mail me at ragen at danceswithfat dot org!

Join the The Brave Body Love Summit: 35+ speakers (including me) offering tools to support and improve your relationship with your body.  Week one is over and the recordings are now available.  Week 2 is getting ready to start.  Check it out here!

Dance Classes:  Buy the Dance Class DVDs or download individual classes – Every Body Dance Now! Click here for details 

I’m training for an IRONMAN! You can follow my journey at www.IronFat.com

A movie about my time as a dancer is in active development (casting, finding investors etc.).  Follow the progress on Facebook!

If you are uncomfortable with my offering things for sale on this site, you are invited to check out this post.

In yet another stunningly horrific example of what can happen when the government involves itself in the weight of children, Gilberto Rodriguez, a member of the Puerto Rico Senate, is one of the sponsors of a bill that he claims will “improve children’s wellbeing and help parents make healthier choices” by fining parents for their kid’s body size.

“If, after six months, education officials determine that the child’s condition has not improved, a staffer can refer the case to child-family services authorities as one involving abuse or mistreatment.

“If after another six months the situation persists, the parents can be assessed up to $500 in fines.

“Six months after that, if the problem continues, the parents can be fined an additional $800.”

I think that a lot of fat activism, or at least my particular style of fat activism, is about simply showing up and refusing to leave, even if people are confused about what we’re doing there.

When fat people do things that challenge people’s preconceived notions of what we are supposed to do, or how we are supposed to act – like being happy with our bodies, wearing certain clothes, participating in fitness etc, we’re not asking people for their approval.  We are living the lives we want to live and also giving people an opportunity to examine their own prejudices and bigotry and make better choices moving forward. We’re doing them a courtesy.

When fat people refuse to be judged based on our bodies, our health, or how other people think we should look or act, we aren’t begging for acceptance.  We are saying “I set the terms and boundaries by which we interact and in the unlikely event that I want your opinion on my body or choices you’ll be among the very first people to know.”

When fat people refuse to bow to the pressure of the war on obesity to attempt weight loss (even if anyone could show that it is possible) we aren’t begging for mercy.  We are saying that we have the same right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness as everyone else and that includes the right to live in our fat bodies without the government waging war on us for how we look, so how about you back the hell off.

When fat people refuse to be hidden or dismissed by society we aren’t begging for recognition, we are demanding respect.

When it comes to respecting size diversity the world is seriously fucked up. It’s not our fault but it becomes our problem and I think it’s important to remember that there is absolutely nothing wrong with us, and that the way fat people are treated is completely, utterly, unjustifiably wrong. It’s not us, it’s for damn sure them.  We each get to choose how we deal with that and all of those choices are valid. I plan to keep showing up and refusing to leave.

Like this blog?  Here’s more cool stuff:

Join the The Brave Body Love Summit: 35+ speakers (including me) offering tools to support and improve your relationship with your body Check it out here!

Become a Member For ten bucks a month you can support size diversity activism, help keep the blog ad free, and get deals from size positive businesses as a thank you.  Click here for details

Buy the book:  Fat:  The Owner’s Manual  The E-Book is Name Your Own Price! Click here for details

Book Me!  I’d love to speak to your organization. You can get more information on topics, previous engagements and reviews here or just e-mail me at ragen at danceswithfat dot org!

Dance Classes:  Buy the Dance Class DVDs or download individual classes – Every Body Dance Now! Click here for details 

I’m training for an IRONMAN! You can follow my journey at www.IronFat.com

A movie about my time as a dancer is in active development (casting, finding investors etc.).  Follow the progress on Facebook!

If you are uncomfortable with my offering things for sale on this site, you are invited to check out this post.

I get plenty of ridiculous hate mail, but sometimes I get something even more ridiculous. A company that so completely misunderstands my blog that they sincerely ask me to help them market their weight loss bullshit.  Here’s part of a recent example:

Our first webinar addresses a sensitive topic: weight loss. We know what you are thinking (and feeling). But, we urge you to keep reading. Don’t close this email!

[Our Ridiculous Company] does not promote getting skinny; we promote being well. And, weight loss is part of many woman’s journey to wellness.

Weight loss needs to be talked about in terms of wellness not skinniness. It is a touchy, yet important topic that we are brave enough to discuss.

Please urge your audience to attend our webinar: “Eat More and Lose Weight.”

The link featured the headline in huge font red letters: “Are You FRUSTRATED with
Trying to Lose Weight and Have a Body You LOVE?” There was nothing about loving the body you have, just ridiculous claims that this doctor could not just help you lose weight but also “End sick days.” Right, this definitely has the ring of good science. Turns out it’s just another doctor (this one trained in “emergency medicine”) who has written another book claiming that she can help people lose weight with absolutely no proof that it will work, and a mountain of evidence to suggest that it won’t, trying to co-opt Size Acceptance and Health at Every Size for her own profit.

Some days I have it for the teachable moment, and some days I don’t.  These came to me just in time for Say Something Sunday, and so one of my Say Something Sunday suggestions was to e-mail these people and tell them to stop spamming me with their BS.  Many of you did, thank you so much! From what I’ve been told, everyone got back a form e-mail claiming that sending me an unsolicited request to promote something that I am emphatically against is not spam, and that they wanted to (I’m not even kidding here) “team up with Ragen to empower women.”  The e-mails ended with “p.s Please rethink blindly sending hate mail.”

First of all, not to go all Crocodile Dundee or anything, but saying “Your weight loss promotion is not appreciated.  In a blog like Ragen Chastain’s Dances with Fat  it is especially not appreciated.  Please just stop!” is not hate mail.  This is hate mail.

Also, when you go to a blog that is very specifically Size Acceptance and Health at Every Size, and waste the writer’s time asking her to help you promote that which she spends every single day fighting against, you might expect a little push back. Today I received yet another comment from them explaining that they don’t believe in dieting, just in losing weight for health reasons (right, and I’m not a brunette, I just happen to have brown hair.)  There is no magical phrase or reason for promoting or selling weight loss that makes it any less impossible, or less harmful, for the vast majority of people.

So these people struggle with the concepts of Health at Every Size, Spam, hatemail, bravery, and dieting.  But why am I telling you about this? First, because it’s funny and I don’t know about you but some days I can use a good laugh. Second, because I really appreciate everyone who sent them an e-mail and, hopefully, taught them a very valuable lesson about reading comprehension.  And finally, to say that you don’t have to put up with weight loss propaganda, or with people trying to co-opt Size Acceptance to sell dieting.

When people come into our spaces and try to promote something harmful, we don’t have to smile politely and say “no thank you” (though of course that’s an option)  I imagine someone will comment on this blog to say that I should have worked to build a bridge instead of reacting the way I did. I say fuck that.  I spend a lot of time politely asking people if they wouldn’t mind not oppressing me so much, and I don’t apologize for that, but I’m also not obligated to do it and it takes all kinds of activism to create change in the world.  Anger is a tool in the activism toolbox just as much as bridge-building is and each of us gets to choose how we respond to the bullshit that we face on any given day.

You can push back in any way that you feel comfortable: Mark every diet ad you see online as “deceptive” or “I don’t want to see this” or whatever, unsubscribe from magazines that advertise dieting and tell them why, return postcards from diet companies return to sender, declare your Facebook page/home/book club/game night etc. a Body Positive space – no diet talk allowed.  You can also go ahead and flip a table. You aren’t obligated to push back against diet propaganda, but you are allowed.

Like this blog?  Here’s more cool stuff:

Join the The Brave Body Love Summit: 35+ speakers (including me) offering tools to support and improve your relationship with your body Check it out here!

Become a Member For ten bucks a month you can support size diversity activism, help keep the blog ad free, and get deals from size positive businesses as a thank you.  Click here for details

Buy the book:  Fat:  The Owner’s Manual  The E-Book is Name Your Own Price! Click here for details

Book Me!  I’d love to speak to your organization. You can get more information on topics, previous engagements and reviews here or just e-mail me at ragen at danceswithfat dot org!

Dance Classes:  Buy the Dance Class DVDs or download individual classes – Every Body Dance Now! Click here for details 

I’m training for an IRONMAN! You can follow my journey at www.IronFat.com

A movie about my time as a dancer is in active development (casting, finding investors etc.).  Follow the progress on Facebook!

If you are uncomfortable with my offering things for sale on this site, you are invited to check out this post.