I was recently briefly quoted in a New York Times article called “Fighting Fat Discrimination, but Still Wanting to Lose Weight” and subtitled “Is it OK to be “body positive” while striving to be thinner?” For the record I was interviewed at length by the article’s author Abby Ellin, who was clear from the beginning exactly what kind of piece it would be. I’ve received a lot of questions about it, so I wanted to address it here.

In order to keep this post to some kind of reasonable length, I will be discussing the personal stories and the original questions of the article.  I’ll leave the issues with the studies included, the misidentification and missapplication of the concepts of Size Acceptance and Body Positivity by some interview subjects, and the appalling behavior of some of the “healthcare professionals” for a possible future post.

The thing that strikes me in the opening paragraphs is how easily we blame body size for things that happen to people of all sizes. The subject wants to walk a certain distance without becoming out of breath. She wants to walk around New York City in the summer without “sweating to death.” She wants to climb Machu Pichu.

There are people of all sizes who sweat their asses off when it’s hot in NYC. There are people of all sizes who get out of breath quickly for all kinds for reasons – some of which are changeable and some of which are not.

The issue here is that if a thin person says they want to be able to climb Machu Pichu or walk farther without becoming out of breath (after being tested for underlying issues) they would be given options and programs to increase their strength and stamina. But when it’s a fat person so many people (even including doctors) go immediately to “change your body size” even though there are thin people with the same issues, and even though there are plenty of people much heavier than this woman who are marathoners and ultra-marathoners, and who’ve made bigger climbs than Machu Pichu.

Now, fitness by any definition is not an obligation, barometer of worthiness, or entirely within our control, and adding healthism and ableism to fatphobia never improves the situation. Still, when it seems normal for a fat person who wants to be able to walk farther to attempt to change their body size (knowing that almost everyone gains back their weight and manygain back more than they lost,) rather than working on strength and stamina, that’s a good example of how pervasive fatphobia is and how much it hurts fat people by sending us on an endless pursuit of a smaller body instead of living our best life in the body we have.

People are allowed to do and believe what they want with their bodies – including risking their lives to be thin and blaming whatever they want for their circumstances, but those choices don’t happen in a vacuum. There is no way to promote or participate in intentional weight loss without perpetuating fatphobia, because the idea that a smaller body is a better body is at the root of weight stigma. That is a simple fact.

People are still allowed to attempt weight loss regardless of the lack of efficacy and risks involved, and power and privilege can play an important role here – thin privilege is real and, especially for those who are part of multiple marginalized communities, this may be a battle that they don’t want to fight. (Because of the intersection of fatphobia and transphobia in healthcare for example, trans people may be forced to attempt weight loss in order to be granted access to necessary healthcare procedures.) Those with more privilege are not in a place to judge those decisions.

Intentional weight loss is harmful to fat people in that it perpetuates fatphobia, there is no denying that. How much additional harm a person does depends a lot on how they choose to behave if they manage (however briefly) to move out of the oppressed group. Do they revel uncritically in their newfound thin privilege? Do they adopt the language of diet culture? Do they change the story of who they were when they were co-opting Size Acceptance language, now aligning themselves with the demands of diet culture that they renounce their formerly fat body – moving from “body-positive” to “body negative” in a single bound?

Do they gleefully post before and after pictures (making it clear that they always believed that a thinner body was a better body)? Do they brag about doing things like shopping in “normal clothing stores,” abandoning the principles of size inclusion and the people who can’t shop there with them? Do they accept praise from those who were committed to shaming, stigmatizing, bullying, and oppressing them until their demands – that this person become less than they were – were met? (The people who will continue to mistreat others in the group that this person has, at least temporarily, moved out of.)

There are people who have chosen to do the difficult and painful work of liberating themselves from diet culture – to not risk their lives and quality of life with dangerous surgeries and diets. The Size Acceptance community is a social justice community that has limited resources with which to fight the crushing oppression of global weight stigma. As such, we can and should have spaces absolutely free of weight loss talk, that do not offer support or resources to those attempting weight loss. 

So for people to insist that they should be allowed to use those spaces for comfort and safety – co-opting Size Acceptance language and using limited community resources -while they desperately try to move themselves out of the oppressed group (by supporting diet culture, which  is at the root of our oppression) is an issue – especially since the people in Size Acceptance community who deal with multiple marginalizations are often the ones who are the most harmed by fatphobia and weight loss talk in these spaces, and weight stigma in the world.

It’s also an issue for foks to publicly, uncritically, embrace their personal weight loss attempt and still claim to be Size Acceptance activists. If someone doesn’t want to be fat (in some cases, is willing to risk their life to be less fat,) it’s difficult for them to advocate effectively for fat-positivity.

To me as a queer woman, it feels a bit like someone coming into a queer-positive group and insisting that it is their right to discuss and get support for their desire to become ex-gay, to use the group’s work and resources and co-opt the group’s queer-positive language all the while claiming to be a queer-positive activist.

Did you find this helpful? If you appreciate the work that I do, you can support my ability to do more of it with a one-time tip or by becoming a member. (Members get special deals on fat-positive stuff, a monthly e-mail keeping them up to date on the work their membership supports, and the ability to ask me questions that I answer in a members-only monthly Q&A Video!)

ONLINE WORKSHOP: Talking Back To Fatphobia

We’ll discuss options for dealing with the fatphobia that we face as we navigate the world – from responses that encourage a dialog, to responses that encourage people to leave us TF alone, with lots of time for Q&A and a pay-what-you-can option.
Details and Registration: https://danceswithfat.org/workshop-talking-back-to-fatphobia/ 

Like this blog?  Here’s more stuff you might like:

Body Love Obstacle Course

This e-course that includes coaching videos, a study guide, and an ebook with the tools you need to create a rock-solid relationship with your body. Our relationships with our bodies don’t happen in a vacuum, so just learning to see our beauty isn’t going to cut it. The world throws obstacles in our way – obstacles that aren’t our fault, but become our problem. Over the course of this program, Ragen Chastain, Jeanette DePatie, and six incredible guest coaches will teach you practical, realistic, proven strategies to go above, around, and through the obstacles that the world puts in front of you when it comes to living an amazing life in the body you have now.
Price: $99.00 Click here to register
($79.00 for DancesWithFat members – register on the member page)

Love It! 234 Inspirations And Activities to Help You Love Your Body
This is filled with thoughtful advice from the authors Jeanette DePatie, Ragen Chastain, and Pia Sciavo-Campo as well as dozens of other notable names from the body love movement, the book is lovingly illustrated with diverse drawings from size-positive artist Toni Tails.
Price: $9.99 softcover, $7.99 Kindle, ($6.95 + free shipping for DancesWithFat Members)

Book Me!  I’d love to speak to your organization (and I can do it remotely!) You can get more information here or just e-mail me at ragen at danceswithfat dot org!

I’m (still!) training for an Iron-distance triathlon! You can follow my journey at www.IronFat.com .

Reader Iris let me know about this little piece of total crap on the internet. Max and Katy are two young kids with 3.82 million followers. They (and/or their parents?) decided to use this platform to fat-shame and food-shame their father. I’m not linking to the video but here’s the plot:

Dad is eating chocolate. Kids walk in and are absolutely stricken. They yell at their dad and take his chocolate away. He gets more chocolate that he has hidden away. They show up stricken again and yell that they are telling him one more time “not to eat sweets, eat something healthy.” They forcibly take his chocolate as he struggles to keep it. They go outside, throw the chocolate directly into the garbage bin and yell “it’s unhealthy.” The dad gets some candy that he had hidden. Kids show up, you gueesed it, stricken.

The child’s eye go wide with horror and he says “oh my god” then they pan to the dad who has stuffed his clothes and put on a mask to look fat. Max “Look how fat you got!” Katy “What should we do?” Max “Eat healthy because of this weight!” Kathy (holds a mirror to his face” “Look, do you even recognize yourself?” Dad: Looks horried, then fake cries. Close up shot of dad’s fake fat belly. They decide that “sport will help you” and push the clothing-stuffed fake fat dad to a big trampoline. He gets stuck trying to get in through the protective netting. He gets tired right away so the kids push him to an elliptical machine then a treadmill (another close up shot of his fake fat stomach) He does one more exercise and now he is magically thin.

He looks overjoyed and exclaims “Oh I lost weight!” and both kids cheer. The kids put him to bed and then check the house for his sweets. They find them hidden everywhere (including popcorn,) act disgusted everytime,  and throw them out yelling “liquidate!” They throw it all in the trash and exclaim “Done! From now only healthy food!”
The video has over 76,000 views.

So. Many. Problems.

First of all, this video should be called “Max and Katy learn fatphobia and develop disordered eating.” We know that this kind of moralistic thinking about food sets kids up for all kinds of issues. Modeling moralizing food (and hiding “bad” food) is just asking for food issues.

Their other videos seem to be more innocuous (if completely unnecessarily gendered) which makes this more upsetting – kids playing with toys, kids learning to wash their hands, kids food policing adults and and engaging in weight stigma.

There is a crap ton of food in this video, and all of it appears to have been thrown in the garbage by the children. Why are we teaching kids to waste food?

Also, what will kids with fat parents take from this – they it’s their job to police their parent’s food? That their parents eat too many sweets (a complete stereotype – everyone knows thing people who eat a ton of sweets and don’t get fat, there are also fat people who don’t eat sweets. More importantly – nobody’s food is anybody else’s business unless we ask them to make it our business.) That having a fat parent is bad and something to be ashamed of? Fuck that.

We need to teach our kids not to shame, stigmatize, stereotype or bully people, not teach them how to do it.

Did you find this helpful? If you appreciate the work that I do, you can support my ability to do more of it with a one-time tip or by becoming a member. (Members get special deals on fat-positive stuff, a monthly e-mail keeping them up to date on the work their membership supports, and the ability to ask me questions that I answer in a members-only monthly Q&A Video!)

Like this blog?  Here’s more stuff you might like:

Body Love Obstacle Course

This e-course that includes coaching videos, a study guide, and an ebook with the tools you need to create a rock-solid relationship with your body. Our relationships with our bodies don’t happen in a vacuum, so just learning to see our beauty isn’t going to cut it. The world throws obstacles in our way – obstacles that aren’t our fault, but become our problem. Over the course of this program, Ragen Chastain, Jeanette DePatie, and six incredible guest coaches will teach you practical, realistic, proven strategies to go above, around, and through the obstacles that the world puts in front of you when it comes to living an amazing life in the body you have now.
Price: $99.00 Click here to register
($79.00 for DancesWithFat members – register on the member page)

Love It! 234 Inspirations And Activities to Help You Love Your Body
This is filled with thoughtful advice from the authors Jeanette DePatie, Ragen Chastain, and Pia Sciavo-Campo as well as dozens of other notable names from the body love movement, the book is lovingly illustrated with diverse drawings from size-positive artist Toni Tails.
Price: $9.99 softcover, $7.99 Kindle, ($6.95 + free shipping for DancesWithFat Members)

Book Me!  I’d love to speak to your organization (and I can do it remotely!) You can get more information here or just e-mail me at ragen at danceswithfat dot org!

I’m (still!) training for an Iron-distance triathlon! You can follow my journey at www.IronFat.com .

This week in my quick comedy videos I talked about how I say embarrassing things to celebrities,  lazy fat jokes, the hilarious history of rock music, and how apartment hunting in California is a whole different world than apartment hunting in California.

You can play them all below (they’ll play back-to-back)
If you want to pick and choose you can see the playlist here

If you don’t want to miss a laugh, you can subscribe to my YouTube channel

Bill Maher is a long-time weight bigot who is always too happy to use fat people as punching bags for ratings. Chrystal Bougon e-mailed me to let me know that on his May 8th show, he took it farther in a rant that Chrystal aptly said was “ridiculously reckless and chock full of misinformation and the last thing the world needs right now.”  The stuff in quotes is what he actually said. It may be triggering so you can skip that part and still get the gist of the post.

I know people hate to hear that message, and I hate to say it, but it’s the truth: the core of this problem in this country, one reason—obviously besides the Trumpian nonsense—is that we, as a country… you look at the numbers from other countries around the world, not nearly the amount of deaths because they don’t have the same obesity profile.”

Maher is so fully committed to being a weight bigot, and so devoid of a sense of responsibility for the drivel that he spouts, that he is comfortable using his platform to state his opinions as if they are facts in the service of perpetuating fatphobia (and, of course, ratings and profit) and misleading people about a global pandemic.

When we talk about health disparities in the US vs other countries, the first thing we have to talk about is that, unlike those countries, our healthcare system is not predicated on the idea that everyone should have access to healthcare. Rather, our system is based on the idea that healthcare should be controlled by the wealthy and ransomed for an amount of money that they decide makes them uber wealthier enough.

We have to talk about how that is exacerbated by the ever-growing wealth gap as the politicians who are bought by the wealthy give them what they paid for by funneling ever more money to the already wealthy, shifting it from the working class and poor, including the social safety net.  That causes health disparities that harm marginalized communities, including fat people.

Then of course there are all the ways that fatphobia directly affects fat people’s healthcare (including the fact that doctors can be so busy trying to make us smaller that they forget all about making us healthy, sometimes at the price of our lives.) \

But sure, let’s continue to create more stigma against the victims of this fatphobia. Good call Bill.

In discussing Adele’s weight loss he said:

“And by the way, the old Adele would not fare as well with COVID-19.”

This is a ridiculous statement. The notion that feeding your body less fuel than it needs so that it will consume itself and become smaller – aka dieting – will lead to improved COVID-19 reaction is seriously questionable. Especially considering that one study has found that “weight loss, even at a moderate rate, is associated with a decrease in the function of certain aspects of the immune system.”  Regardless, Bill Maher is obviously not in any position to be giving an educated opinion on this.

And of course, we’ve already talked about the serious issues with linking being fatter to COVID-19 risk.

He also read a tweet that someone else had written about the Adele situation that asked  “Did we again push another sane person in the spotlight into eating disorder?”

Then Bill Maher actually connected his brain to his mouth to say “The eating disorder is eating too much! This is insane that they think an eating disorder goes in the other direction.”

And all I could think to say was  – are you fucking kidding me with this bullshit you ignorant fuck? Neither “consuming more food than a television host thinks you should” or “having a body that a TV host associates with eating more food than they think you should” qualify as an eating disorder, I doubled checked the DSM-5 just to be sure,

However, there are a number of eating disorders that do exist that involve food restriction, they happen to people of all sizes, and they can be deadly. And they are rooted in exactly the kind of fatphobia that Bill promotes for profit.  (And that’s not even getting into the fact that binge eating disorder is heavily linked to food restriction.) If you are, or think you may be, dealing with an eating disorder, please know that resources are available, I encourage you to reach out.

When it comes to his love for weight stigma and fat-shaming, with someone like Bill Maher you never know – does he actually believe the bullshit he is selling? Does he just want ratings and he knows that cultural weight stigma means that he can harm fat people without repercussions without repercussions? Does he have issues with food/body-image that he is weaponizing against fat people?

Whatever is at the root, this needs to stop. This is ex-fucking-actly what the world does NOT need right now, or ever.

Did you find this helpful? If you appreciate the work that I do, you can support my ability to do more of it with a one-time tip or by becoming a member. (Members get special deals on fat-positive stuff, a monthly e-mail keeping them up to date on the work their membership supports, and the ability to ask me questions that I answer in a members-only monthly Q&A Video!)

Like this blog?  Here’s more stuff you might like:

Body Love Obstacle Course

This e-course that includes coaching videos, a study guide, and an ebook with the tools you need to create a rock-solid relationship with your body. Our relationships with our bodies don’t happen in a vacuum, so just learning to see our beauty isn’t going to cut it. The world throws obstacles in our way – obstacles that aren’t our fault, but become our problem. Over the course of this program, Ragen Chastain, Jeanette DePatie, and six incredible guest coaches will teach you practical, realistic, proven strategies to go above, around, and through the obstacles that the world puts in front of you when it comes to living an amazing life in the body you have now.
Price: $99.00 Click here to register
($79.00 for DancesWithFat members – register on the member page)

Love It! 234 Inspirations And Activities to Help You Love Your Body
This is filled with thoughtful advice from the authors Jeanette DePatie, Ragen Chastain, and Pia Sciavo-Campo as well as dozens of other notable names from the body love movement, the book is lovingly illustrated with diverse drawings from size-positive artist Toni Tails.
Price: $9.99 softcover, $7.99 Kindle, ($6.95 + free shipping for DancesWithFat Members)

Book Me!  I’d love to speak to your organization (and I can do it remotely!) You can get more information here or just e-mail me at ragen at danceswithfat dot org!

I’m (still!) training for an Iron-distance triathlon! You can follow my journey at www.IronFat.com .

If you’re over your rage quota for the day I recommend reading this later. A person who profits from pushing the Keto diet posted before and after pictures of a 6-year-old-girl. She was celebrating that the little girl had lost “27lbs in 20 weeks!⁣”

What. The. Actual. Fuck.

First of all, if you think I’m linking to this nonsense you can think again. I will tell you that people in the comments seem to think the second picture was photoshopped. I don’t know about that, I can say that it seems to use all the classic trickery of a before and after. Sad look in the first picture, big smile (with bright and shiny hair accessories and elastics) in the second. It appears that in her “before” picture someone told her to stick her adorable tummy out as far as it could go – her back is arched. In the first picture she is wearing a bathing suit top and bike shorts rolled under her tummy – leaving it out. In the second shot is taken in a black, form-fitting full-length shirt and bike shorts.

The experts tell us that putting kids on diets of any kind is a recipe for creating unhealthy relationships with food, movement, and their bodies – including eating disorders. This little girl seems to have been placed on a diet the seriously restricts carbohydrates which can create its own health problems including nutritional deficiencies, weak bones, and kidney stones. Update: some are saying that she was on Weight Watchers which is excactly the unhealthy and dangerous program that the experts discussed in this article. The bottom line is that trying to manipulate a child’s body size during their growth years is dangerous.

This situation is just complete and total bullshit start-to-finish. The idea that you would take before and after weight loss pictures of a first-grade child is absolutely horrific. The idea that you would give them to an Instagram personality who sells dieting to share with the world is unthinkable.  Teaching a child that t she should like her body more if it is smaller before she has learned to add two-digit numbers is unconscionable. Don’t forget that she’s also learned that other people’s bodies are less good if they are larger and more good if they are smaller.

What happens when she, almost inevitably, regains her weight and is now completely secure in the knowledge that her parents and half the internet like her more when she is thinner? She is now set up for a lifetime of body hatred, disordered relationships with food, movement, and her body, and weight cycling and all the health risks that come with that.

We can help kids learn to take care of their bodies, instead of learning to hate them and fear weight gain – especially since weight gain is incredibly normal through life stages.

Did you find this helpful? If you appreciate the work that I do, you can support my ability to do more of it with a one-time tip or by becoming a member. (Members get special deals on fat-positive stuff, a monthly e-mail keeping them up to date on the work their membership supports, and the ability to ask me questions that I answer in a members-only monthly Q&A Video!)

Like this blog?  Here’s more stuff you might like:

Body Love Obstacle Course

This e-course that includes coaching videos, a study guide, and an ebook with the tools you need to create a rock-solid relationship with your body. Our relationships with our bodies don’t happen in a vacuum, so just learning to see our beauty isn’t going to cut it. The world throws obstacles in our way – obstacles that aren’t our fault, but become our problem. Over the course of this program, Ragen Chastain, Jeanette DePatie, and six incredible guest coaches will teach you practical, realistic, proven strategies to go above, around, and through the obstacles that the world puts in front of you when it comes to living an amazing life in the body you have now.
Price: $99.00 Click here to register
($79.00 for DancesWithFat members – register on the member page)

Love It! 234 Inspirations And Activities to Help You Love Your Body
This is filled with thoughtful advice from the authors Jeanette DePatie, Ragen Chastain, and Pia Sciavo-Campo as well as dozens of other notable names from the body love movement, the book is lovingly illustrated with diverse drawings from size-positive artist Toni Tails.
Price: $9.99 softcover, $7.99 Kindle, ($6.95 + free shipping for DancesWithFat Members)

Book Me!  I’d love to speak to your organization (and I can do it remotely!) You can get more information here or just e-mail me at ragen at danceswithfat dot org!

I’m (still!) training for an Iron-distance triathlon! You can follow my journey at www.IronFat.com .

This week in my short comedy videos I talked about how kids are weird, my adventures learning to cook, the hardest class in music school, how one day at the ocean ended my desire to learn to surf, and in my second week of ukelele playing I wrote a song inspired by recent press briefings.

You can play them all below (they’ll play back-to-back)
If you want to pick and choose you can see the playlist here

If you don’t want to miss a laugh, you can subscribe to my YouTube channel

If you appreciate the work that I do, you can support my ability to do more of it with a one-time tip or by becoming a member. (Members get special deals on fat-positive stuff, a monthly e-mail keeping them up to date on the work their membership supports, and the ability to ask me questions that I answer in a members-only monthly Q&A Video!)

Like this blog?  Here’s more stuff you might like:

Body Love Obstacle Course

This e-course that includes coaching videos, a study guide, and an ebook with the tools you need to create a rock-solid relationship with your body. Our relationships with our bodies don’t happen in a vacuum, so just learning to see our beauty isn’t going to cut it. The world throws obstacles in our way – obstacles that aren’t our fault, but become our problem. Over the course of this program, Ragen Chastain, Jeanette DePatie, and six incredible guest coaches will teach you practical, realistic, proven strategies to go above, around, and through the obstacles that the world puts in front of you when it comes to living an amazing life in the body you have now.
Price: $99.00 Click here to register
($79.00 for DancesWithFat members – register on the member page)

Love It! 234 Inspirations And Activities to Help You Love Your Body
This is filled with thoughtful advice from the authors Jeanette DePatie, Ragen Chastain, and Pia Sciavo-Campo as well as dozens of other notable names from the body love movement, the book is lovingly illustrated with diverse drawings from size-positive artist Toni Tails.
Price: $9.99 softcover, $7.99 Kindle, ($6.95 + free shipping for DancesWithFat Members)

Book Me!  I’d love to speak to your organization (and I can do it remotely!) You can get more information here or just e-mail me at ragen at danceswithfat dot org!

I’m (still!) training for an Iron-distance triathlon! You can follow my journey at www.IronFat.com .

There’s a lot of talk going on about a certain songstress’s body size manipulation. This happens a lot so I wanted to talk about it in a more general way, rather than discussing the particulars of this specific incident.

First of all, yes, everyone has a right to do what they want with their bodies/lives. But those decisions do not happen in a vacuum. Part of being a celebrity with the privilege and platform that come along with that is being responsible for what you promote through your words and actions. You can’t support intentional weight loss without supporting fatphobia, because the idea that a thin(ner) body would be in some way better is at the root of fat oppression.

When celebrities uncritically accept the positive attention they get for (at least temporarily) manipulating their bodies to be smaller, it can feel like a betrayal to those in Size Acceptance community because when these stars are fat(ter), they use our community, our work, our language as a shield against the fatphobia they experience – talking about how they love their bodies, how they don’t want to look like some photoshopped picture in a magazine, how all bodies are beautiful, how health and weight are two different things etc. And they lean on our support as fans – to appreciate their work, promote them, defend them.

So of course we can feel a major betrayal when they (at least temporarily) become smaller and suddenly can’t seem to prove fast enough that they were just using us until they could move themselves out of the marginalized group and become one of the marginalizers, waxing poetic with the same diet-culture language that had been weaponized against them, basking in the approval from the same people who were fat-shaming them before they became thin, and will fat-shame them again when they regain the weight.

And if, like almost everyone, they do regain their weight, history shows they’ll likely come running back to us – our support, our  (limited) resources, our work, our language. For those who choose to continue to attempt intentional weight loss this can end up becoming a cycle – or they may try to remake Size Acceptance in their own image as something that can include their desire for, and celebration of, weight loss (maybe co-opting the originally fat activist term of “Body Positivity” and watering it down even more.)

Often they complicate the situation by claiming they lost weight for their health. Again, they are allowed to conflate weight and health, but the reality is that it can also make things more difficult for those of us who understand that weight and health are two separate things and that intentional weight loss does not meet the criteria for an ethical, evidence-based health practice. While people are allowed to buy into a weight-loss paradigm, their choice to do that publicly from a big platform makes life harder for those who are trying to get ethical, competent healthcare in fat bodies. Or they may claim that they did it to avoid health issues or disability (despite the fact that people of all sizes deal with those issues.) Adding healthism and ableism to fatphobia does not improve the situation.

Paradigm straddling (wanting to be part of Size Acceptance and be supported in intentional weight loss, for example) is a really common thing  in oppressed communities. Being oppressed sucks and it’s normal to fantasize about how things could be different.  I think something to think about is whether we fantasize about an “ideal world” that accommodates us (and everyone,) and pursue that, or if we fantasize about shrinking ourselves into something less to have our “ideal body” (often built not just on sizeism but also healthism and ableism) and pursue that.

To reiterate, while people – including celebrities – can do whatever they want with their bodies, their choices have meaning and consequences. And choosing to participate in intentional weight loss, or to celebrate weight loss of any kind, supports weight stigma and perpetuates eating disorders by promoting the idea that a thin(ner) body is a better/more attractive/healthier body, which is at the root of fatphobia.

If you want to read more about the Adele situation, I recommend this piece by Da’Shaun Harrison for Wear Your Voice.

Did you find this helpful? If you appreciate the work that I do, you can support my ability to do more of it with a one-time tip or by becoming a member. (Members get special deals on fat-positive stuff, a monthly e-mail keeping them up to date on the work their membership supports, and the ability to ask me questions that I answer in a members-only monthly Q&A Video!)

Like this blog?  Here’s more stuff you might like:

Body Love Obstacle Course

This e-course that includes coaching videos, a study guide, and an ebook with the tools you need to create a rock-solid relationship with your body. Our relationships with our bodies don’t happen in a vacuum, so just learning to see our beauty isn’t going to cut it. The world throws obstacles in our way – obstacles that aren’t our fault, but become our problem. Over the course of this program, Ragen Chastain, Jeanette DePatie, and six incredible guest coaches will teach you practical, realistic, proven strategies to go above, around, and through the obstacles that the world puts in front of you when it comes to living an amazing life in the body you have now.
Price: $99.00 Click here to register
($79.00 for DancesWithFat members – register on the member page)

Love It! 234 Inspirations And Activities to Help You Love Your Body
This is filled with thoughtful advice from the authors Jeanette DePatie, Ragen Chastain, and Pia Sciavo-Campo as well as dozens of other notable names from the body love movement, the book is lovingly illustrated with diverse drawings from size-positive artist Toni Tails.
Price: $9.99 softcover, $7.99 Kindle, ($6.95 + free shipping for DancesWithFat Members)

Book Me!  I’d love to speak to your organization (and I can do it remotely!) You can get more information here or just e-mail me at ragen at danceswithfat dot org!

I’m (still!) training for an Iron-distance triathlon! You can follow my journey at www.IronFat.com .

Happy International No Diet Day! Whenever I talk about my choice to permanently get off the diet roller coaster, some concern trolls insist (with no evidence to back it up, of course) that all fat people can – and should – become thin if we just [insert thing we’ve all heard a million times but doesn’t actually work] – lose weight slower, use a specific diet, call dieting a “lifestyle change”, etc. along with the usual “just because it hardly ever works doesn’t mean you shouldn’t keep trying” crap.

Here’s the thing.  Been there. Done that.  Got the rebound weight gain and larger size t-shirt. Before I did the research to understand weight and health, I made the same mistakes that these people are making now – I believed it was a matter of willpower, I believed that it had been proven that long term significant weight loss was possible,  I believed that weight loss had been proven to make fat people healthier. Just like these misguided folks, I bought into this hook, line, and meal replacement shake.  I tried incredibly hard to be thin.  I spent a tremendous amount of my time, energy, and money trying to be thin – I did everything these people are suggesting that I do and more.

And here’s what I learned.

Fuck. That. Shit.  I shudder to think of the life I could have had if I hadn’t discovered Size Acceptance and Health at Every Size. The thought of giving up the amazing life I’ve lived and am living to have instead spent all this time  – and all the time in the future – chasing thinness, weight cycling, hating my body, waiting for that mystical thin body to show up so that my life could “really start,” is horrifying  – what an absolute waste of my life that would have been.

I hear from readers all the time whose moms, grandmothers, aunts, and friends are on their deathbeds realizing that they never fully lived because they put their lives on hold until they were thin, and spent their lives trapped in a cycle of yo-yo dieting, body hatred, and self loathing, and they died fat with so many regrets.  Every single time someone tells me a story like this I think how much I hope that person is resting in peace, and I realize that could have so easily been me.

I had the exact same experience that almost everyone who tries to lose weight has – I would lose weight short term, and then no matter what I did I would gain it back long term – often gaining back more than I lost.  Then, in a tribute to doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result, I would try again. And I would have the same result.

So these people who tell me that I should keep trying to lose weight can take a flying leap into a vat of fat-free pudding. This discussion is hypothetical to them, but it’s everything to me. Health at Every Size and Size Acceptance gave me my life back, and even if I’m wrong about the research (though I don’t think I am) and even if I have a shorter life than I would have if I had continue to pursue dieting (though I don’t think I will) I would still make the same choices. I get to live free from dieting, free from constant body hatred, free from obsessive thoughts and behaviors around food, exercise, and weight, I get to spend my time, energy, and money pursuing things that make me happy,  I can approach my health and healthcare in a way that is rational and evidence-based.

I live every day with the security of knowing that I will not be on my deathbed with the horrible realization that I put my life on hold trying to get thin, and it never happened, and now it’s over. I used to be one of those people who hated my body, and dieted constantly because I didn’t know that I had other options. Now I know – I can have a healthy relationship with food and movement, I can love my body, and I never have to diet again. That’s so much better than the life I could have had.

Did you find this helpful? If you appreciate the work that I do, you can support my ability to do more of it with a one-time tip or by becoming a member. (Members get special deals on fat-positive stuff, a monthly e-mail keeping them up to date on the work their membership supports, and the ability to ask me questions that I answer in a members-only monthly Q&A Video!)

Like this blog?  Here’s more stuff you might like:

Body Love Obstacle Course

This e-course that includes coaching videos, a study guide, and an ebook with the tools you need to create a rock-solid relationship with your body. Our relationships with our bodies don’t happen in a vacuum, so just learning to see our beauty isn’t going to cut it. The world throws obstacles in our way – obstacles that aren’t our fault, but become our problem. Over the course of this program, Ragen Chastain, Jeanette DePatie, and six incredible guest coaches will teach you practical, realistic, proven strategies to go above, around, and through the obstacles that the world puts in front of you when it comes to living an amazing life in the body you have now.
Price: $99.00 Click here to register
($79.00 for DancesWithFat members – register on the member page)

Love It! 234 Inspirations And Activities to Help You Love Your Body
This is filled with thoughtful advice from the authors Jeanette DePatie, Ragen Chastain, and Pia Sciavo-Campo as well as dozens of other notable names from the body love movement, the book is lovingly illustrated with diverse drawings from size-positive artist Toni Tails.
Price: $9.99 softcover, $7.99 Kindle, ($6.95 + free shipping for DancesWithFat Members)

Book Me!  I’d love to speak to your organization (and I can do it remotely!) You can get more information here or just e-mail me at ragen at danceswithfat dot org!

I’m (still!) training for an Iron-distance triathlon! You can follow my journey at www.IronFat.com .

I posted a comedy video last week about being a moderator for Fat-Positive groups on Facebook. One of the things I talked about was people who break the “no weight loss talk” rule by starting their post “I know there’s no weight loss talk in this group, but…” and then just barrel into some weight loss talk.

I got an e-mail saying

“I guess I don’t understand why, if it’s a group for fat people, why can’t fat people who want to lose weight can’t talk about it?”

This is a common question, and it’s an important one.

The simple answer is because talking about weight loss talk is against the rules. The people who created the space get to make the rules. Being part of the space is a privilege that you get to keep by following the rules.

But the deeper answer is a bit more complex. The thing that gets misunderstood here is that it’s not a group for fat people. It’s a group for people (sometimes just for fat people, sometimes people of all sizes depending on the group’s rules) who are choosing to liberate themselves from diet culture. It’s a fat-positive group. Part of that is not engaging in weight loss or dieting, because the idea that fat bodies are wrong and that they should/can be changed is at the root of our oppression (including beliefs around weight and health.)

There are people who have chosen to do the difficult and painful work of liberating themselves from diet culture – to not risk their lives and quality of life with dangerous surgeries and diets. The Size Acceptance community is a social justice community that has limited resources with which to fight the crushing oppression of global weight stigma. As such, we can and should have spaces absolutely free of weight loss talk, that do not offer support or resources to those attempting weight loss

So the idea that someone wants to use the limited resources of a social justice  community for comfort/safety/better treatment while they try to move/keep themselves out of the oppressed group AND break the rules to discuss their plan/progress for doing that, is out-of-control offensive and wrong.  To me as a queer woman, I would compare this to someone coming into a queer-positive group and insisting that it is their right to discuss and get support for their “conversion therapy” while also using the group’s work and resources until they don’t need them anymore.  Hell no. GTFO with that.

Again, if people want to talk about weight loss there’s this place called “Basically the Entire World Except For These Fat-Positive Groups” where they can do that. And if they find that they can’t be treated well in that place as a fat person – despite trying desperately to gain its acceptance – well maybe that’s a clue about the issues with that place. But that’s not my decision to make.

If someone is going to avail themselves of a fat-positive group’s work and resources, then the very absolute least they can do is not commit anti-fat oppression while they are there.

Did you find this helpful? If you appreciate the work that I do, you can support my ability to do more of it with a one-time tip or by becoming a member. (Members get special deals on fat-positive stuff, a monthly e-mail keeping them up to date on the work their membership supports, and the ability to ask me questions that I answer in a members-only monthly Q&A Video!)

Like this blog?  Here’s more stuff you might like:

Body Love Obstacle Course

This e-course that includes coaching videos, a study guide, and an ebook with the tools you need to create a rock-solid relationship with your body. Our relationships with our bodies don’t happen in a vacuum, so just learning to see our beauty isn’t going to cut it. The world throws obstacles in our way – obstacles that aren’t our fault, but become our problem. Over the course of this program, Ragen Chastain, Jeanette DePatie, and six incredible guest coaches will teach you practical, realistic, proven strategies to go above, around, and through the obstacles that the world puts in front of you when it comes to living an amazing life in the body you have now.
Price: $99.00 Click here to register
($79.00 for DancesWithFat members – register on the member page)

Love It! 234 Inspirations And Activities to Help You Love Your Body
This is filled with thoughtful advice from the authors Jeanette DePatie, Ragen Chastain, and Pia Sciavo-Campo as well as dozens of other notable names from the body love movement, the book is lovingly illustrated with diverse drawings from size-positive artist Toni Tails.
Price: $9.99 softcover, $7.99 Kindle, ($6.95 + free shipping for DancesWithFat Members)

Book Me!  I’d love to speak to your organization (and I can do it remotely!) You can get more information here or just e-mail me at ragen at danceswithfat dot org!

I’m (still!) training for an Iron-distance triathlon! You can follow my journey at www.IronFat.com .

This week in my short one-woman-open-mic comedy vids I talked about growing up with possibly the world’s worst last name, moderating fat-positive Facebook groups, the new endurance sport I invented in quarantine, and after a week of learning to play the ukulele, I wrote a song about learning the Ukulele.

You can play them all below (they’ll play back-to-back)
If you want to pick and choose you can see the playlist here

If you don’t want to miss a laugh, you can subscribe to my YouTube channel

If you appreciate the work that I do, you can support my ability to do more of it with a one-time tip or by becoming a member. (Members get special deals on fat-positive stuff, a monthly e-mail keeping them up to date on the work their membership supports, and the ability to ask me questions that I answer in a members-only monthly Q&A Video!)

Like this blog?  Here’s more stuff you might like:

Body Love Obstacle Course

This e-course that includes coaching videos, a study guide, and an ebook with the tools you need to create a rock-solid relationship with your body. Our relationships with our bodies don’t happen in a vacuum, so just learning to see our beauty isn’t going to cut it. The world throws obstacles in our way – obstacles that aren’t our fault, but become our problem. Over the course of this program, Ragen Chastain, Jeanette DePatie, and six incredible guest coaches will teach you practical, realistic, proven strategies to go above, around, and through the obstacles that the world puts in front of you when it comes to living an amazing life in the body you have now.
Price: $99.00 Click here to register
($79.00 for DancesWithFat members – register on the member page)

Love It! 234 Inspirations And Activities to Help You Love Your Body
This is filled with thoughtful advice from the authors Jeanette DePatie, Ragen Chastain, and Pia Sciavo-Campo as well as dozens of other notable names from the body love movement, the book is lovingly illustrated with diverse drawings from size-positive artist Toni Tails.
Price: $9.99 softcover, $7.99 Kindle, ($6.95 + free shipping for DancesWithFat Members)

Book Me!  I’d love to speak to your organization (and I can do it remotely!) You can get more information here or just e-mail me at ragen at danceswithfat dot org!

I’m (still!) training for an Iron-distance triathlon! You can follow my journey at www.IronFat.com .