Weight stigma and diet culture work hard to to make fat people believe that we deserve to be treated poorly and that, at the very least, we owe explanations and justifications for our body size, food choices, and health to anyone who thinks they deserve them.
The truth is that commenting on someone’s food choices, body size or health without invitation is completely inappropriate. And we are under no obligation to act like it’s not.
We get to respond to this in whatever way we want. We can choose to try to educate (though it’s helpful to remember that we can’t control whether or not they take advantage of our generosity by learning.) We can react in ways that are snarky, or angry, or even “rude.” We can laugh in their faces and walk away.
No matter how we react (and sometimes it’s not in our control in a given situation,) the important thing to remember is that our bodies aren’t the problem – their inappropriate behavior is.
We don’t need to change, they do.
UPCOMING ONLINE WORKSHOP:
Dealing With Fatphobia At The Holidays
Between in-person and online family gatherings, work parties, New Years bashes, New Years Resolution, and a ton of diet ads… the holiday season can be a perfect storm of fatphobia. Plus this year all the talk of COVID-related body changes adds another layer of nonsense All that diet culture can really get you down. In this workshop we’ll talk about tips, tricks, and techniques to help us deal and have a happy holiday season on our own terms – whether we celebrate any holidays or not.
Full details and Registration: https://danceswithfat.org/monthly-online-workshops/
*This workshop is free for DancesWithFat members – login info is on the member page
Become a member here!
Missed one of my monthly workshops? You can still get the video here!
Like This Blog? If you appreciate the work that I do, you can support my ability to do more of it with a one-time tip or by becoming a member. (Members get special deals on fat-positive stuff, a monthly e-mail keeping them up to date on the work their membership supports, and the ability to ask me questions that I answer in a members-only monthly Q&A Video!)
Book Me! I’d love to speak to your organization (and I can do it remotely!) You can get more information here or just e-mail me at ragen at danceswithfat dot org
3 thoughts on “Fat People Don’t Owe You Justifications”
Way Right Answer!
It’s also a form of derailing. If fatphobes can make the discussion about why you’re fat, it’s no longer about why they’re behaving like trash.
Sounds like bully speak for prove to me why you are allowed to exist.