I received this Facebook post from blog reader Annette today with the note “I know that she’s wrong, but I don’t know how to break it down for her, can you help?” Well Annette, I can try! Please note: this is some fat-shaming BS, if you’re not in the mood to deal with it you can skip the indented parts (which are quotes from the nonsense) and still get the gist of things. I’ll start with the quote in its entirety:
For those who didnt see my post, I posted a pic of a pair of shorts with a 70″ waist. I found them hilarious, and laughed all through the thrift store I saw them in. I meant no harm to any living being, and stated so in the post, nor was I trying to shame anyone who suffers with their weight. I, myself, have weighed 240 pounds. I have suffered with eating disorders my entire life, yet I was lectured by people who presumed that I was fat shaming people. What? So let me say… I send merit to all those who are obese. I pray that you can get this under control… NOT BECAUSE OF THE WAY YOU LOOK, but because obesity leads to heart issues, diabetes, depression, some forms of cancer, and an overall unhealthy life. I respect all human life, and am sorry for those who assumed that they knew I was intentionally implying something else. What a world we live in. Oh, and by the way, I am still laughing
The short answer to why this is wrong is that you can’t say “I respect all human life” while in the same breath engaging in stereotyping, fat-shaming, and healthism. If you want to be credible you can’t just say “I respect all human life,” you have to, you know, actually do it.
Let’s break it down:
For those who didnt see my post, I posted a pic of a pair of shorts with a 70″ waist. I found them hilarious, and laughed all through the thrift store I saw them in. I meant no harm to any living being, and stated so in the post, nor was I trying to shame anyone who suffers with their weight.
So this person saw a pair of shorts made for a fat person, and then felt the need to tell everyone she could reach on social media that she found them “hilarious.” But she wasn’t “trying to shame anyone who suffers with their weight.” Riiiiiight.
I can’t imagine what she would have done differently if she had intended to shame fat people. If she wasn’t trying, then she’s a natural. By the way, this is exactly what I mean when I say that I’ve never suffered from my weight, but I have definitely suffered from fat shaming.
I, myself, have weighed 240 pounds. I have suffered with eating disorders my entire life, yet I was lectured by people who presumed that I was fat shaming people.
Thanks for the PSA that internalized fatphobia is a thing. The fact that this person used to be fat isn’t doing fat people much good right now is it? I’m sure some of her best friends are fat or whatever, but that doesn’t change the fact that this is fatphobic bullshit.
What?
YOU ARE FAT SHAMING! IT IS SHITTY! YOU SHOULD STOP! That’s what.
So let me say… I send merit to all those who are obese. I pray that you can get this under control… NOT BECAUSE OF THE WAY YOU LOOK, but because obesity leads to heart issues, diabetes, depression, some forms of cancer, and an overall unhealthy life.
You send merit? You can always tell that someone has a grossly over-exaggerated sense of self-importance when they think that they are in a position to grudgingly bestow honor on others. Fat people don’t need your “merit.” We need shorts that fit us and not to be fat-shamed. We also don’t need your stereotypes, your prayers, or your healthism.
Even if you somehow still believe that tripe that weight and health are the same thing, other people’s health is not your business. In truth, there are people of all sizes with heart issues, diabetes, depression, cancer and whatever the hell she means by an “unhealthy life” and those people – like all people – deserve respect and access to healthcare, and nothing else about their health is anybody else’s business unless they ask us to make it our business. They should certainly not be used as cheap fodder to justify hand-wringing “Won’t somebody think about the health” fat-shaming.
I respect all human life, and am sorry for those who assumed that they knew I was intentionally implying something else. What a world we live in. Oh, and by the way, I am still laughing
You don’t respect all human life. Those who assumed that you were fat-shaming are right. What a shitty fat-shaming world we live in because people do crap like this. I’m not laughing. Fix it.
Inevitably people (probably this woman) will turn to the “Can’t you take a joke” defense, so I’ll end with a quick reminder that it’s totally messed up to ask groups of people to become better at being stigmatized and made fun of without complaint, so that other people can laugh at our expense without having to feel badly or have their atrocious behavior pointed out.
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“They should certainly not be used as cheap fodder to justify hand-wringing “Won’t somebody think about the health” fat shaming.” That made me laugh, in a post full of things that made me want to throw my computer out the window. That woman is purposefully not getting it. She is self important and adamant that she is correct. How cruel to even include “I’m still laughing” in your “I’m not fat shaming” response?! I love your breakdown and agree with you. It disgusting when self important deluded people think they are justified in commenting on someone else’s ANYTHING.
I wish I could look her in the eyes… and ask her…. why were the shorts hillarious? 😒
If the shorts had been say…. covered in a comical print of some sort…. or made of something crazy like see through plastic…. or…. and she said “they were like a clear shower curtain! Wtf wears that?!?” Fine. That’s not fat shaming. But… if… as it seems pretty damn obvious was the case…. she found them hillarious because of their size. 😤🙈. Then laughing at those shorts is the same damn thing as laughing at a fat person who might wear them. Period. Having been fat herself in the past does not give her a free pass to fat shame people. If anything it makes it WORSE. Because she should remember what it felt like, and never want to make someone else feel like that. Maybe she has issues. Maybe she felt like she deserved the shaming and abuse she got for being fat…. and now she thinks she’s somehow better than fat People because at the moment she’s not fat anymore. It’s like … high school and the mean popular girls. You see how horrible they are…. but if you get invited in, accepted as one of them, you get sucked in by the power…. the sense of privilege… and then before you realize it…. you’ve become them.
Unfortunately, a LOT of formerly fat people feel that way. They see themselves as superior because hey, they did it, so clearly anyone can amirite?
My favorite is the ones who’ve been “thin” for about 5 minutes doing this. Come back and let me know how you’re doing in 5 years. Because it’s the hunger game and the odds are never in your favor.
Kind of like my husband when he cuts out all carbs and loses 5 pounds. He becomes unbearably nasty! Maybe he is just starving, I don’t know. I just tolerate it for those few weeks, then when bread and cookies are reintroduced, he goes back to normal.
That last sentence is the best thing said…ever.
Oops, by that I meant: “Because it’s the hunger game and the odds are never in your favor.”
Agreed. I wonder if the author was ever forced to diet?
you cannot make fun of shorts that a 70 inches without making fun of the people with 70 inch waists that need those shorts simple as that
I was shamed for having dentures yesterday but I stood up for myself
Yes! Who says it’s ok to make fun of anyone for any reason! +1 for standing up for yourself!!
My nephew was bullied at school for coughing. Boo, allergies/asthma! We’ll shame you out of it! With enough hatred thrown at you, you’ll be healthy in no time!
Shamed for having dentures? Don’t they know “the Father of Our Country” had dentures?! Dentures have a long and honorable history.
In fact, I read not too long ago that it was A Thing in the Victorian era for a father to send his grown-up daughter to the dentist to have all her teeth ripped out and get a full set of dentures, before marrying her off, as a gift to the GROOM, because “this will save you money on dentistry for your wife, and you’ll never have to worry about her dental health.” So. Much. Ugh.
But really, dentures?!
yeah I’m in a photo challenge where you have a prompt for each day and I took a photo holding my dentures, while brushing them with water from the faucet splashing over them and somebody commented something that basically boils down to “Ew, My eyes”. I fired back at her that there is nothing shameful about dentures, that I didn’t photograph anything private or gaping wounds, and that I assume a photo of someone brushing their teeth in their mouth would be fine so why don’t you back off and stick to “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything” and she just kept doubling down and saying that she had a right to her opinion and I ought to expect to be criticized for showing something that should have been kept private. Others backed me up but when I finally tagged the admins and asked for their help (group rules say to be respectful and that wasn’t respectful) they just told us to quit arguing and that whether or not it is TMI is a matter of personal opinion, and completely ignored how rude she was being.
yeah I’m in a photo challenge where you have a prompt for each day and I took a photo holding my dentures, while brushing them with water from the faucet splashing over them and somebody commented something that basically boils down to “Ew, My eyes”. I fired back at her that there is nothing shameful about dentures, that I didn’t photograph anything private or gaping wounds, and that I assume a photo of someone brushing their teeth in their mouth would be fine so why don’t you back off and stick to “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything”
she just kept doubling down and saying that she had a right to her opinion and I ought to expect to be criticized for showing something that should have been kept private. Others backed me up but when I finally tagged the admins and asked for their help (group rules say to be respectful and that wasn’t respectful) they just told us to quit arguing and that whether or not it is TMI is a matter of personal opinion, and completely ignored how rude she was being.
WTF is so funny about clothing that’s larger than your size?
OMG, Ragen! This is in the running for the best collection of words in this order ever to occur in the universe: “…it’s totally messed up to ask groups of people to become better at being stigmatized and made fun of without complaint, so that other people can laugh at our expense without having to feel badly or have their atrocious behavior pointed out.”
This is a great response to a really not-great thing.
Oh, btw, the paragraph beginning “Even if you somehow still believe ” is indented, but it reads like your words, not hers, and there’s another deeper indent after that. I think you accidentally indented too soon. I think people who skip the indented parts will miss the best part.
Yes, I was going to mention this too. I was confused at first, though I could tell from the content these were your words, not hers. The way it appears on my computer is not a deeper indent in the next paragraph, it is lined up with the paragraph above.
Anyway, housekeeping aside… thank you, Ragen for continuing to call out this vile behavior. I honestly wonder what she thinks fat-shaming IS, if she maintains laughing at a large item of clothing is NOT.
Even though she thinks fat people should “get control” of ourselves or whatever, does she think that in the meantime we should all be naked? “Oh ho ho it’s so funny that you think that you deserve to wear clothing!” In her words, “What?”
I wear a size 64 inch weights. Does that mean I’m funny?
I’m sure you’re hilarious and tell the best jokes, because everyone knows that fat people are jolly. But at the same time, you have a lousy sense of humor for not laughing along when people cruelly poke “fun” at you, because you can’t take a joke. And if you don’t get why your clothes are inherently funny, you don’t get humor, at all.
What?
…
You know, I think that word has taken on a new meaning for me.
You can explain stuff to people, but you can’t make them understand. I too would love to look her in they eye and ask her to explain why the shorts are funny.
I left a comment on this individual’s “art” page that her behavior showed her maturity level and that I very much doubted that she would have found shorts with the same attributes as she described these having but in a smaller size “hilarious.” I’m sure my comment was deleted.
i think this paragraph was intended by accident – so it’s look like the fat-shamer wrote it . it isn’t part of the quote in the beginning and i don’t believe that fat-shamer write this, so i conclude that it’s your answer, that was intended by accident:
Even if you somehow still believe that tripe that weight and health are the same thing, other people’s health is not your business. In truth, there are people of all sizes with heart issues, diabetes, depression, cancer and whatever the hell she means by an “unhealthy life” and those people – like all people – deserve respect and access to healthcare, and nothing else about their health is anybody else’s business unless they ask us to make it our business. They should certainly not be used as cheap fodder to justify hand-wringing “Won’t somebody think about the health” fat shaming.
i now see that other women wrote this before me. this comment should be deleted.
” and am sorry for those who assumed that they knew I was intentionally implying something else.”
another person who think that its intent is more important then the real consequence its words have. but, don’t you know? Intent! It’s Fucking Magic!