I caught part of some gameshow and one of the questions was about the name of Trader Joe’s diet food line.  That brand name is “Reduced Guilt.”  And that sucks.

First of all, the fact that these Wheat Crisps are “reduced guilt” indicates that, at least in Trader Joe’s estimation, I should feel guilty about eating some crackers in the first place.  And I’m still not off the hook if I get these crackers – they’re not “guilt free”, just reduced guilt.  So I should apparently still feel guilty, just less so.

I just wish they would have told me how much less guilty I should feel – 5% less, 30% less? And reduced from what original level of guilt?  Are we talking about the guilt I “should” feel eating other wheat crisps?  What if I was planning to have pretzels but then choose these instead?  If I was thinking about having broccoli but went with the crackers should my guilt still be reduced?  Thanks a lot Trader Joe’s – I’m freaking out here, can anyone create an algorithm to let me know how guilty I’m supposed to feel for eating these crackers?

Or, hey what about this –  how about I don’t feel any guilt at all since, while I like Trader Joe’s products, I’m not prepared to put them in charge of my emotions.  I have never seen any study indicate that guilt is good for digestion or health.  Remember when we talked about that ridiculous Truvia ad campaign where a jingle singer used insane, grief, guilt, relief, and love three times discussing an artificial sweetener?  We’ve got “sinfully delicious” cookies.  Some desserts are decadent (the act or process of falling into moral decay): but some are divine (of or pertaining to a god, especially the Supreme Being).

I understand that advertisers will do whatever they can to sell a product, but they’ve got us coming and going.  Feeling rebellious? Have this sinfully delicious cheesecake.  Feeling bad about the cheesecake?  Have our guilt-free brownie mix.  They are allowed to do this, but we don’t have to buy in and, if our goal is a healthy relationship with food, this does seem like the way to go.

Even the idea of healthy foods and unhealthy foods is tricky.  Some eating plans say that potatoes are the devil but others say that you can live on potatoes, milk, and a little bit of oatmeal.  Some say eating lots of meat is healthy.  Some say that not eating any meat is healthy.  Some food plans say that anything cooked is unhealthy. Some people love peanutbutter as a protein source, some people die if they eat it.  For someone dealing with hunger any kind of food may be better than no food. There are issues of access, culture, personal health circumstances, personal values, and personal choice involved.  I think that any public health focus should be on providing access to foods that people would choose to eat and true, unbiased information.

I used to struggled a lot with my relationship with food and I’ve found that my mental health and physical health improve dramatically when I remind myself of, and – as much as possible – remove myself from, our culture’s mixed messages, moralization, and hyperbole around food. It turns out that if I refuse to feel guilty about eating food, then every food is guilt free.

Like this blog?  Here’s more cool stuff:

Like my work?  Want to help me keep doing it? Become a Member! For ten bucks a month you can support size diversity activism, help keep the blog ad free, and get deals from size positive businesses as a thank you.  Click here for details

Buy the book:  Fat:  The Owner’s Manual  The E-Book is Name Your Own Price! Click here for details

Book Me!  I’d love to speak to your organization. You can get more information on topics, previous engagements and reviews here or just e-mail me at ragen at danceswithfat dot org!

Dance Classes:  Buy the Dance Class DVDs or download individual classes – Every Body Dance Now! Click here for details 

I’m training for an IRONMAN! You can follow my journey at www.IronFat.com

A movie about my time as a dancer is in active development (casting, finding investors etc.).  Follow the progress on Facebook!

If you are uncomfortable with my offering things for sale on this site, you are invited to check out this post.

I recently posted an article to my Facebook about an ignorant shop clerk who accused a mother of child abuse for buying her daughter the suit she wanted. The mother responded by walking out without buying anything.  Someone commented on my Facebook to accuse the mother of wasting an opportunity to educate.  Noooooo. No. No. No. No. World of no.  Galaxy of no.  No.

I see this a lot when people discuss a situation where they faced bulling, stigmatizing, shaming etc. and they talk about how they dealt with it.  People are quick to let them know that’s not how they would have done it. Often, as was the case on my Facebook page, it’s done in accusatory tones.

I find this really troubling.  First we are the victim of oppression/stigma/bullying, then people add to our victimization by suggesting that we didn’t handle it “right” and/or that we had some obligation to respond to bullshit behavior in the way they would do it, with the goals that they would have had.

It should be (but sadly isn’t always) obviously that it’s not ok to respond to oppression by oppressing other people (like responding to fat shaming with healthism, or ableism, or an inappropriate comparison to the oppression of another group.) and that is something that is definitely worthy of comment. Outside of that, we have every right to respond to the oppressive bullshit that comes at us in whatever way we choose.

Sometimes people get confused and think that we have some obligation to help our bigots and bullies become better people who are less bigoted and do less bullying.  We have the option to try that, but never the obligation – in fact we don’t have any obligation to choose educating or bridge building or any other goal as the basis for how we deal with oppression.

We might choose educating the person and trying to build a bridge as a goal, or we might choose expressing our anger as a goal.  It’s ok to try to start a dialog, to say something snarky, or to say nothing at all and just walk away.  It’s ok to not address the issue at all. Our choice of reaction might change with each different exchange, based on everything from our current mood, to our relationship with the person committing the oppression, to the balance of power between us and our oppressor, or any other circumstances. And all of that is completely ok.

How about we keep our eye on the ball here:  when someone is being oppressed, the problem is the oppression and the oppressor, not the way that the victim dealt with them.  A really good first step to supporting people who are dealing with oppression is to not make it worse, and avoiding criticism of their reaction because it’s not what you would have done is an excellent step in the right direction.

Like this blog?  Here’s more cool stuff:

Like my work?  Want to help me keep doing it? Become a Member! For ten bucks a month you can support size diversity activism, help keep the blog ad free, and get deals from size positive businesses as a thank you.  Click here for details

Buy the book:  Fat:  The Owner’s Manual  The E-Book is Name Your Own Price! Click here for details

Book Me!  I’d love to speak to your organization. You can get more information on topics, previous engagements and reviews here or just e-mail me at ragen at danceswithfat dot org!

Dance Classes:  Buy the Dance Class DVDs or download individual classes – Every Body Dance Now! Click here for details 

I’m training for an IRONMAN! You can follow my journey at www.IronFat.com

A movie about my time as a dancer is in active development (casting, finding investors etc.).  Follow the progress on Facebook!

If you are uncomfortable with my offering things for sale on this site, you are invited to check out this post.

My Facebook friend Julie posted today that someone had called her a fat bitch to her face in public.  She said “I think that’s the first time I have been called that to my face… does this qualify me for the Fat Bitches Club?”  Yes it does, and your official club jacket is in the mail!

The Fat Bitches Club is for those who’ve been victims of the sizeism and sexism that occur when people lash out at us with a phrase meant to let us know that we don’t look or act like they want us to. If you’re wondering if you qualify for the FBC, check out the qualifying events below, though please note that this is not an exhaustive list.

Just Because

This is how Julie qualified. She was talking to someone about something completely unrelated to her size. He didn’t like what she said, so he called her a fat bitch.  He is hoping that she buys into the ideas that her worth is determined by her body size, that having a fat body is bad, and that she shouldn’t want to be a bitch, so that he can hurt her with name calling rather than having an adult discussion about the topic that she broached.

Online Troll

At least once a day I open my e-mail to read my new blog comments and someone has “fat bitched” me. Perhaps they’ve been only so creative as to type “fat bitch!” (or more likely “fat bicth!”) or maybe it’s part of a longer ridiculous rant. Either way, this is how these people spend their spare time and almost every fat person I know who has an online presence has experienced this – whether it’s e-mail, Facebook, YouTube, a blog, instagram etc. This is just blatant sizeism committed by people who are obviously not in a great place in their lives because we refuse to hate ourselves like they want us to.

Drive By

This happens when a fat person has the unmitigated nerve to exist outside their home.  This might come from teenagers or, sadly, from grown ass adults – maybe they are walking by, riding a bike, or in a car.  Maybe they just yell, maybe they throw eggs at us. either way, you have a chance to earn your Fat Bitches Club jacket just by walking out your door.

Self Selected

Some people choose to adopt the Fat Bitch label proudly. (Of course other people prefer not to claim the labels of fat and/or bitch and that’s fine too.)

This is about how we survive a world where people use our body size as an epithet, where the government is perpetuating a war on us based on our body size.  Where people actually scream names at us out of their cars.  The world is screwed up, we are fine and celebrating our entry into the Fat Bitch club is one way,out of many options, that some of us choose to show that.we are here, we aren’t ashamed, and we aren’t going anywhere. especially not because some people are still calling us names like it’s the first day of preschool and they don’t have any home training.  Screw that. Fat Bitches Club forever!

Like this blog?  Here’s more cool stuff:

Like my work?  Want to help me keep doing it? Become a Member! For ten bucks a month you can support size diversity activism, help keep the blog ad free, and get deals from size positive businesses as a thank you.  Click here for details

Buy the book:  Fat:  The Owner’s Manual  The E-Book is Name Your Own Price! Click here for details

Book Me!  I’d love to speak to your organization. You can get more information on topics, previous engagements and reviews here or just e-mail me at ragen at danceswithfat dot org!

Dance Classes:  Buy the Dance Class DVDs or download individual classes – Every Body Dance Now! Click here for details 

I’m training for an IRONMAN! You can follow my journey at www.IronFat.com

A movie about my time as a dancer is in active development (casting, finding investors etc.).  Follow the progress on Facebook!

If you are uncomfortable with my offering things for sale on this site, you are invited to check out this post.

A video by the band “Walk the Moon” has invoked my 100 rule (if 100 people who are not internet trolls ask me to blog about something, I do) and in this case I’m super glad about it.  It’s a video of a really catchy song and a lot of people dancing.

I think that representation is a really big deal – in a world where we choose our actors, singers, dancers based on their ability to approximate a single stereotype of beauty first and their talent second, many of us rarely get to see someone who looks like us in a positive light in the media. I think that this video is a great example of how to do it better.  Here it is, enjoy!

Like this blog?  Here’s more cool stuff:

Like my work?  Want to help me keep doing it? Become a Member! For ten bucks a month you can support size diversity activism, help keep the blog ad free, and get deals from size positive businesses as a thank you.  Click here for details

Buy the book:  Fat:  The Owner’s Manual  The E-Book is Name Your Own Price! Click here for details

Book Me!  I’d love to speak to your organization. You can get more information on topics, previous engagements and reviews here or just e-mail me at ragen at danceswithfat dot org!

Dance Classes:  Buy the Dance Class DVDs or download individual classes – Every Body Dance Now! Click here for details 

I’m training for an IRONMAN! You can follow my journey at www.IronFat.com

A movie about my time as a dancer is in active development (casting, finding investors etc.).  Follow the progress on Facebook!

If you are uncomfortable with my offering things for sale on this site, you are invited to check out this post.

Damienne Merlina is a self-described “fat, one-armed comedian.”  Recently another comedian, Ari Shaffir, took some time on his Comedy Central special to call her out by first and last name and proceed to do a series of jokes about her body size and the fact that she has one arm.

She posted a beautiful video response (embedded below) and of course the trolls took to the comments to support Shaffir’s sizeist, ableist comedy, and – never ones to miss an opportunity –  engage in some bullying, sizeism and ableism of their own (with a side of “you should judge your value based on whether or not I would fuck you” thrown in for good measure.)

Some claimed that what Ari did was ok because Damienne had done a bit about an unnamed guy with a small penis and they felt that it was body shaming.  Some disagree that the bit was about shaming men with small penises.  I think that regardless of what someone thinks of it, it isn’t even in the same galaxy as stating someone’s first and last name on a special on Comedy Central – a cable network –  and then making sizeist and ableist “jokes” specifically about that person.  I also think it’s entirely possible to find her small penis bit problematic, and still believe that what Ari did is super fucked up cruel bullying that shouldn’t be allowed to go unchecked.

Others supported him because “FREE SPEECH!”  To be clear for those constitutional scholars bringing up the First Amendment, I’m not suggesting that he should be precluded from engaging in shitty comedy by congressional edict, so calm down. This isn’t about whether or not his shitty sizeist and ableist comedy is legal, it’s about whether or not his shitty sizeist and ableist comedy is something that we’re going to stand for, because freedom of speech doesn’t mean freedom from consequences when you say something shitty, sizeist and ableist. So it is within the purview of our free speech to say that we don’t support sizeism, ableism, or comics who are so dramatically untalented and/or lazy that they can’t write material that isn’t just about naming people and then getting cheap laughs from berating their physical appearance.  It is well within the purview of our free speech to say things like  “Try harder Ari.” or “Sizeism and ableism aren’t hilarious Ari.” or “I’m not paying money to see you Ari.” or “Good edgy comedy punches up Ari.” or “That was super fucked up Ari.”

Speaking of using that free speech, you can check out Damienne’s video below and you can show her some love by commenting on the Youtube video and also at:
Twitter: @whatsinadame – http://goo.gl/t6A9EU
IG: @whatsinadame – http://goo.gl/vWs4lo
Facebook: http://goo.gl/P5s4iR
Tumblr: http://goo.gl/4crju1

You can let Comedy Central know what you think:about them airing that mess:

Twitter: @comedycentral

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ComedyCentral

You can let Ari know what you think::

Twitter:  @arishaffir

Like this blog?  Here’s more cool stuff:

Like my work?  Want to help me keep doing it? Become a Member! For ten bucks a month you can support size diversity activism, help keep the blog ad free, and get deals from size positive businesses as a thank you.  Click here for details

Buy the book:  Fat:  The Owner’s Manual  The E-Book is Name Your Own Price! Click here for details

Book Me!  I’d love to speak to your organization. You can get more information on topics, previous engagements and reviews here or just e-mail me at ragen at danceswithfat dot org!

Dance Classes:  Buy the Dance Class DVDs or download individual classes – Every Body Dance Now! Click here for details 

I’m training for an IRONMAN! You can follow my journey at www.IronFat.com

A movie about my time as a dancer is in active development (casting, finding investors etc.).  Follow the progress on Facebook!

If you are uncomfortable with my offering things for sale on this site, you are invited to check out this post.

It’s “Say Something Sunday,” a day dedicated, at least on this blog, to personal Size Diversity activism. I’ve got some suggestions below and/or of course you can do your own thing and feel free to leave a comment about it.  If you have ideas of things to do for Say Something Sunday I’d also love for you to share those.

I did the math and if everyone who views the blog each week did one piece of Size Diversity Activism a week, it would add up to over 1.5 million body positive messages put out into the world this year.  Multiply that times the number of people who might see each of those messages and things start to increase exponentially. To be very clear, nobody is obligated to do activism so if this doesn’t appeal to you that’s totally cool, I’ll be back tomorrow with your regularly scheduled blog post!

The theme this week is Say Something Nice. Earlier this week my Facebook page got trolled.  I was away from the computer and there were over 100 comments by the time I saw the thread.  My FB readers handled it brilliantly and at one point reader Caroline suggested “Shall we take this opportunity to, instead of engaging with them, write messages about the awesome things that Ragen has inspired us to do, whether it be physical, psychological, or emotional?”  The things that people wrote brought me to tears.and reminded me why I do this work. So today I want to focus on giving support to people who are doing cool Size Acceptance/Size Diversity/Body Positive work.  You can start here for some ideas, if you have ideas you can leave them in the comments, and you can also keep your eyes on social media for Size Acceptance stories that come your way – share them, re-tweet them, leave positive comments, e-mail the authors and tell them that you like their work and how it’s affected you.

Have a great Say Something Sunday!

Like this blog?  Here’s more cool stuff:

Like my work?  Want to help me keep doing it? Become a Member! For ten bucks a month you can support size diversity activism, help keep the blog ad free, and get deals from size positive businesses as a thank you.  Click here for details

Buy the book:  Fat:  The Owner’s Manual  The E-Book is Name Your Own Price! Click here for details

Book Me!  I’d love to speak to your organization. You can get more information on topics, previous engagements and reviews here or just e-mail me at ragen at danceswithfat dot org!

Dance Classes:  Buy the Dance Class DVDs or download individual classes – Every Body Dance Now! Click here for details 

I’m training for an IRONMAN! You can follow my journey at www.IronFat.com

A movie about my time as a dancer is in active development (casting, finding investors etc.).  Follow the progress on Facebook!

If you are uncomfortable with my offering things for sale on this site, you are invited to check out this post.

There was a dust-up on the popular effyourbeautystandards instagram when a mod allowed someone to post “before and after” pictures of her weight loss.  People tried to explain that the idea of celebrating having a smaller body, especially with a “before and after” shot, is problematic in a body positive space. They also pointed out that before and after pictures seem to be very much the beauty standards that the community purports to want to eff.  I agree with the sentiment and I’m glad that people pointed it out (you can see the post here if you would like, trigger warning for, you know, weight loss pictures, and possibly NSFW for underwear and partial nipple.)

effyourbeautystandards decided to defend the choice and leave the picture up (and it looks like they deleted some of the comments around it, including one where the mod, in an incredibly problematic post, accused someone who was speaking out against the use of before and after pictures in a body positive space, of being against working out.)  It’s their instagram and they are allowed to include whatever they want on it. I will say that it certainly discourages me from being interested in participating, and it’s one of the reasons that I create and moderate spaces that are body positive based on my specifications – which includes absolutely no weight loss talk, which includes – obviously, I would think – before and after weight loss pictures. I find these pictures problematic for a number of reasons:

First, they are designed to create a situation where we judge bodies as good and bad or, at the very least, better and worse.  I don’t believe that anything good comes out of this, and it reinforces the idea that, especially for women, manipulation of our body size is to be of primary importance as an “accomplishment” – that until we’ve accomplished thinness, we are works in progress.

Second, they are often used in money making schemes to “help” me identify my body as bad/worse, and show me that it could be good/better if I just bought whatever they are selling. That, as my friend CJ Legare says, is trying to steal my self-esteem and sell it back to me at a profit. And that’s not something I’m going to allow to happen.

In those money making contexts, I can’t help but notice that the person in the before shot always looks miserable and in the after shot they look so happy.  The message seeming to be that anyone who looks like that cannot/should not be happy and that happiness is/should be reserved for those whose bodies are “right and good”. The worst for me is when the before picture is of someone in their sweat pants, eating on the couch before their shower; and the after picture is them standing in the sun, bronzed, sucking in until they are on the verge of fainting, fully made up, dressed up and smiling like they won the lottery. Also, let’s not forget that they can be fake as hell with or without photo re-touching.

People are allowed to do whatever they want with their bodies.  They are allowed to choose body size manipulation as a goal. They are allowed to buy into the idea that their body would be somehow “better” if it was different and they are allowed to take pictures of their body over time and make comparisons. That doesn’t mean that it’s appropriate to post those pictures in every community, which is why apparently you can post them in effyourbeautystandards, but you can’t post them in the body positive communities that I moderate.

One of the things that commenters on effyourbeautystandards pointed out was that the person could simply have posted the “after” picture by itself and celebrated her body as it is now without the need to compare it to her body at some past date.  I think that’s an excellent idea, and I think it’s worth considering the possibility that there’s no such thing as “before” and “after,” there’s only “during.”

Like this blog?  Here’s more cool stuff:

Like my work?  Want to help me keep doing it? Become a Member! For ten bucks a month you can support size diversity activism, help keep the blog ad free, and get deals from size positive businesses as a thank you.  Click here for details

Buy the book:  Fat:  The Owner’s Manual  The E-Book is Name Your Own Price! Click here for details

Book Me!  I’d love to speak to your organization. You can get more information on topics, previous engagements and reviews here or just e-mail me at ragen at danceswithfat dot org!

Dance Classes:  Buy the Dance Class DVDs or download individual classes – Every Body Dance Now! Click here for details 

I’m training for an IRONMAN! You can follow my journey at www.IronFat.com

A movie about my time as a dancer is in active development (casting, finding investors etc.).  Follow the progress on Facebook!

If you are uncomfortable with my offering things for sale on this site, you are invited to check out this post.

I got an e-mail from blog reader asking me what I think about “strong is the new skinny” and  “healthy is the new skinny” campaigns.  I’ve seen these phrases on everything from t-shirts to websites.  I think it’s total crap.

Strong, healthy, and skinny have different meanings and priorities for different people and none of them are entirely within our control.

I’ve seen at a lot of so-called “fitspiration” sites that claim “strong is the new skinny” and what I’ve seen is a whole lot of bodies that all look the same.  Cheryl Haworth is almost 300 pounds and is an Olympic medalist who was once the third strongest woman in the world, but I’ve never seen her, or anyone who looks like her, on a “strong is the new skinny” website, the sentiment seems to be much more “skinny with muscles” is the new “skinny.” It’s not that there’s something wrong with skinny bodies, or skinny muscular bodies or any other bodies – there’s not – it’s just that none of those bodies are any better or worse than other bodies.

The pervasive myth that thin is healthy and fat is unhealthy means that “healthy is the new skinny” is often code for “skinny, but not too skinny, (whatever the hell that means) is the new skinny.” It’s also healthist and often be ableist – people have many different health conditions for many different reasons and nobody should be judged for their health.  Besides making sure that everyone has access to the healthcare they want and is accommodated, people’s health is nobody else’s business.(and if you’re about to whip yourself up into a “but muh tax dollars” frenzy, head on over to this post.)

At the end of the day, this is basically about giving women the message that we should all try to be “This!” which is the new “That!” which will make us worthy/good/socially acceptable/fuckable or whatever.  It’s like climbing out of one hole, falling into another hole, and then celebrating that we’re in a different hole.

It’s also really unkind to women who identify as skinny who are told that their body is somehow “out” and that they need to look like, or be, something else. I believe that all bodies are amazing and I’m absolutely against the idea of trying to feel better about ourselves but insisting that our bodies are better than other people’s bodies.

How about we stay away from the message that skinny used to be the thing that everyone should want to be, but now there’s a new thing that everyone should want to be?  New boss, same as the old boss. I think the message we’re looking for is “we shouldn’t measure our worth based on a standard of beauty” not “we should measure our worth by a different standard of beauty.”

Like this blog?  Here’s more cool stuff:

Like my work?  Want to help me keep doing it? Become a Member! For ten bucks a month you can support size diversity activism, help keep the blog ad free, and get deals from size positive businesses as a thank you.  Click here for details

Buy the book:  Fat:  The Owner’s Manual  The E-Book is Name Your Own Price! Click here for details

Book Me!  I’d love to speak to your organization. You can get more information on topics, previous engagements and reviews here or just e-mail me at ragen at danceswithfat dot org!

Dance Classes:  Buy the Dance Class DVDs or download individual classes – Every Body Dance Now! Click here for details 

I’m training for an IRONMAN! You can follow my journey at www.IronFat.com

A movie about my time as a dancer is in active development (casting, finding investors etc.).  Follow the progress on Facebook!

If you are uncomfortable with my offering things for sale on this site, you are invited to check out this post.

Recently plus-size retailer Roaman’s posted four stripe patterns on Facebook with the request “Help us choose a new stripe pattern for our ultimate tees collection!  Which one is your favorite?” Patterns 1-3 are horizontal strips of varying widths.  Pattern 4 is a diagonal stripe pattern.

I have my frustrations with Roaman’s, in particular their use of models who are too small to actually wear their clothes, but I appreciate that they reached out to their customer base to ask about preferences.  And their customer base responded – some to give a preference, and some to tell them what all fat women do/should want to wear, or to reinforce the idea that people should value looking as thin as possible.  Some examples:

4 if I have to choose. Vertical is more slimming for a big girl.

4. Only because it doesn’t t go around. It has a little angle to it. Big people usually try and stay away from strip unless it is top to bottom

One of the most common questions I get from people who are starting out with Health at Every Size is – if I’m not making weight loss goals, then what goals can I make? Considering the way that weight loss is advertised as the end all and be all of health (to the tune of Sixty Billion a year in profits to the diet industries) it’s not surprising that many people have never thought of making goals outside of that.

First of all, this is a post about Health at Every Size (HAES). Before I get into it I want to be clear about the difference between HAES and Size Acceptance.  Size Acceptance as a civil rights movement is based around the fact that the rights to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness are not size, health, or “healthy habit” dependent by any definitions thereof.  It says that fat people should be able to live in fat bodies without shame, stigma, bullying and harassment.

Health at Every Size is an evidence-based paradigm for approaching personal health, public health, and healthcare.  Understanding that health is not an obligation, a barometer of worthiness, entirely within our control or guaranteed under any circumstances, HAES puts the focus on health and behaviors that support it (instead of body size and weight loss) as well as encompassing all aspects of health including ending stigma, oppression and lack of accessibility. That said, health is absolutely not an obligation or anybody else’s business unless we choose to make it their business, and nobody is required to practice Health at Every Size (or any other path to health) to be covered by Size Acceptance.  There’s a more complete explanation here.

So back to the question.  If you are interested in practicing HAES and you are interested in goal setting (and you don’t have to do so – many people focus on health without setting specific goals) you have lots of options. Before we get to the specifics, here are some general suggestions:

• Make it an additive process rather than restrictive (so maybe “I’m going to do xyz” rather than “I’m never going to do abc ever again!”

• This is a long term process and it’s not all or nothing, so don’t be afraid to try something, decide it doesn’t work for you, and then try something else.

• Make changes over time – add one or two things and when they become a habit add one or two more things. Every spring emergency rooms fill up with people who decided to reach all of their lifetime fitness goals in one day.  I would suggest that being the fittest person in traction might not be the best goal.

• Consider making goals that around doing things that make you happy.

• Celebrate lots.  It may sound cheesy but celebrating victories early and often can really help you with your goals.

• Remember that this is a lifelong journey and sometimes we’ll make choices based on what seems like the best thing for our health, and sometimes we’ll make decisions for different reasons and that’s totally ok.

• Blame, shame, stigma, and guilt are not good for your health, the only thing that we can do is keep a forward focus.

• Throughout your life, and especially if you’re just starting HAES, your weight may shift.  When people start to practice Health at Every Size some people’s weight goes up, some goes down, some stay the same.  The idea behind HAES is that we focus on behaviors and health (based on our own choices about prioritization) and let our weight settle where it does, so feel free to chuck your scale.

Here are some suggestions for specific goal setting, as always your mileage may vary:

You can make the behaviors themselves the goal. (Some people use some or all of the habits from Matheson et. al. Don’t smoke, drink in moderation, 5 servings of fruits and vegetables a day, exercising regularly etc. Some people choose behaviors around movement, sleep, drinking water, doing specific activities that they enjoy, etc.  Whatever behaviors you decide on, you can make them your goal and celebrate each time you succeed by doing them, create a list to check off, give yourself gold star stickers, whatever works!

For fitness/movement goals, you can also take a “baseline” for things like perceived exertion (how tired you are during/at the end of a workout), heart rate, number or duration of an activity you can perform, ability to do an activity etc. and then note how you improve over time. You can even set yourself up a little baseline test and record the information and then repeat the test at regular intervals to see how you’ve improved.

You can set a goal that’s currently out of your reach (a duration of activity, a weight to lift (whether it’s x number of pounds or your grandkid or whatever) , a number of repetitions of an activity (X number of pushups; x number of feet/blocks/miles walked or rolled in your wheelchair etc.) and then work towards it, celebrating your progress along the way.

You can start a program (like couch to 5k, 100 push ups, or whatever movement you are interested in) and use those milestones as goals.

Some people choose to get their bloodwork taken at regular intervals and look for improvements. If you go this route, it’s important to be aware that some things are genetic and so may or may not change with behavior changes.

Those are a few ideas, feel free to leave your HAES-based goal ideas in the comments. If you are interested in more discussions like this, you can check out the Fit Fatties Forum and Fit Fatties Facebook page – we welcome anyone, of any size, who wants to discuss fitness from a weight-neutral, Health at Every Size perspective.

Like this blog?  Here’s more cool stuff:

Like my work?  Want to help me keep doing it? Become a Member! For ten bucks a month you can support size diversity activism, help keep the blog ad free, and get deals from size positive businesses as a thank you.  Click here for details

Buy the book:  Fat:  The Owner’s Manual  The E-Book is Name Your Own Price! Click here for details

Book Me!  I’d love to speak to your organization. You can get more information on topics, previous engagements and reviews here or just e-mail me at ragen at danceswithfat dot org!

Dance Classes:  Buy the Dance Class DVDs or download individual classes – Every Body Dance Now! Click here for details 

I’m training for an IRONMAN! You can follow my journey at www.IronFat.com

A movie about my time as a dancer is in active development (casting, finding investors etc.).  Follow the progress on Facebook!

If you are uncomfortable with my offering things for sale on this site, you are invited to check out this post.

‎