First let me say that I’ve missed you all.  Last week there was a decided lack of blogging because I managed to hurt my neck in a way that made me unable to use my right arm.  I’m on the road to recovery now but there were some really scary days and I’m very luck to have an amazing care network here in Austin to help me (thanks to Dr. Robin and Dave for their incredible help!), though I would expect that a ranty blog about my inability to get health insurance because of my size is probably just around the corner. But not today…

We talk on this blog a lot about how almost nobody succeeds at weight loss long term, and why that is.  Today I want to talk about the rationale that we are given for pursuing weight loss in the first place.  It’s a bit shaky when you realize that there is no study that shows that people who are able to maintain weight loss long term are healthier or stronger, and that almost every bit of “evidence” linking weight and health problems is correlational, not causational.  Often the suggestion is that if enough studies show a correlation between size and health problems, we can safely assume that size causes the health problems and that changing someone size will cure health problems.  Since weight and health are such charged subjects, let’s look at this through some other lenses.

The problem with correlational research is that it only shows that things happen at the same time, it does nothing to prove that one thing causes the other, and that’s where the trouble starts.

Many studies show a link between increased ice cream eating and increased murders.  All I can definitively say from this is that ice cream eating and murders often happen at the same time. I cannot say that ice cream eating causes murders.  I cannot say that murders cause ice cream consumption.  If more murders take place I can’t say that there is an ice cream epidemic.

Since all I know is that there is a correlational link, I must acknowledge that it’s possible that the ice cream eating causes murders, that murders cause ice cream eating, that they are unrelated, or that they are both caused by a third factor.

Let’s say that the latter is true –  that the cause of both issues is heat – when people get hot they tend to eat more ice cream, or become cranky and murder people.

But let’s say I don’t know that, and I assume that since there is so much evidence linking ice cream and murders, I can assume that eating ice cream causes murders.  So I start a War on Ice Cream Eating!  I lobby to get ice cream off the shelves, to get everyone to look at people who eat ice cream as horrible people who deserve to be shamed.  I work tirelessly to get ice cream out of schools and away from our kids.

Not only is this misguided, if the truth is that when people are hot they either eat ice cream to cool off or they murder someone, by taking ice cream off the shelves I may actually increase the murder rate.  And that’s why assuming cause from correlation is a bad idea.

Men who have male pattern baldness also have a higher risk of heart issues. The reason for that is that the same hormones responsible for male pattern baldness are responsible for increased risk of heart issues.  But let’s say I assume that the baldness causes the heart issues.  So I start a War on Baldness!  I work with companies that claim they can grow hair and inform the public that bald men who aren’t using Rogaine or joining the Hair Club for Men are increasing all of our health care premiums.  I create workplace incentive programs where men who are showing signs of balding are fined thousands of dollars unless they join “voluntary’ hair regrowth lunch meetings.  I suggest that bald men may be unfit parents since it’s possible that they may be more likely to raise bald children.  I pour millions into programs that give out toupees to bald men.  By treating one of the results instead of the cause I can take attention away from treating the actual issue and increase heart issues in bald men, or delay treatment that is actually shown to help the heart issues because I’m busy trying to treat the wrong thing. And that’s why assuming cause from correlation is a bad idea.

Large bodies have been correlated with some health problems.  Let’s say that I assume that body size causes those health problems.  So I start a war on obesity.  I direct all public health efforts toward trying to figure out how to make people thin, I direct public health messaging to be about how fat people need to become thin to be health.  Doctors start to tell fat people that becoming thin is the way to prevent these diseases, even though thin people get them too.  By doing so I direct attention and treatment away from actual healthcare interventions and toward body size interventions, rolling the dice that changing body size will lead to health and blaming fat people if it doesn’t work.  And that’s why assuming cause from correlation is a bad idea.

For more fun with correlation, check out this article!

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I’ve been thinking about the policies directly aimed at fat people – paying for extra seats on airplanes, penalities of thousands of dollars from work insurance companies if you aren’t thin enough, etc.  I think that one of the main things standing in the way of a fatty uprising against all of the stigma, bullying and oppression of fat people is the belief that weight loss is possible, even likely, for all fat people. It’s not just that the people doing the stigmatizing buy into this idea, it’s that fat people do too. That’s pretty problematic since in over half a century of research there has never been a single study where weight loss worked long term for more than a tiny fraction of people.  The truth based on the information that we have now is that most fat people will always be fat.

For me the realization that I would always be fat was painful, since I had believed for so long that societal acceptance was just a diet away, but it was also the impetus for my activism.  It allowed me to clearly see that when I attempted to change myself in order to escape poor treatment, I had been working the wrong end of the problem.  The problem was the social stigma, bullying, and oppression and the cure for poor treatment is to fix the poor treatment, not to change myself.

When people get charged more for the same plane ride because they are fat, when they get charged more for their insurance because they are fat, when they are treated poorly because they are fat, they often think that the solution is to lose weight.  What if fat people accepted that they will probably never lose weight long term. I think a lot more people would become activists.

So many things are only acceptable because of fat phobia and because people (including fat people) believe that fat people not only can, but actually should, be obligated to lose weight in order to be treated better.  Imagine what would happen if the airlines decided to fit in more seats by creating seats that are designed to fit the average  7 year old boy?  Do you think people would be so cavalier to say that the seats are the size they are and if you are bigger you should just pay extra? I seriously doubt it. That system works because of fat phobia, because people think that if you are fat you can and should get thin and you should be punished until you do. What if fat people stopped believing that the insurance penalties are only going to be in effect until the work-sponsored Watchers Meeting that they have to give up their free time for makes them thin (despite WW’s own studies which show that they are likely to maintain only a 5 pounds weight loss for 2 years.) What if instead, fat people all realized that the Thin Fairy is probably not showing up and that the only way to stop paying more for every plane ride and being paid less than our thin counterparts, the only way to stop the stigma, shaming, bullying etc. is activism

A tiny fraction of people survive skydiving falls when their parachutes don’t open, but we don’t encourage people to try to beat the odds and jump out of planes without chutes, nor do we shame people who go ahead and grab that parachute before jumping.  A tiny fraction of people win the lottery, but we don’t encourage people to try to beat the odds and quit their job because today’s ticket could be a winner, nor do we fine them if they fail to win the lottery.  A tiny fraction of people succeed at longterm weight loss but that doesn’t mean that we should recommend that every fat person should try it, or that we should penalize people for failing.

How would things be different if every fat person operated from the knowledge that they are probably going to be fat their whole lives?  I think it would be a better world and I’m ready for the fatty uprising.

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Many of you know that my partner suffered a knee injury a couple of months ago – her medical care has been a pretty screwed up experience from start to finish but there was one shining moment.  The first time we went to the emergency room, we were given a Staxi. To be clear, I’m not a paid endorser for the Staxi, I’ve never even talked to them, I am quite certain they have no idea that I’m writing about them.  I just want to encourage the kind of thinking that they are engaging in.

The Staxi is a wheelchair that was built by people who displayed exactly the kind of thinking that I think we need in medical care.  They created a wheelchair that uses 70% less storage space than the competition, holds hundreds of pounds more, and works better for virtually everyone who uses it. Because of the design, it works for people up to 500 pounds and because the armrest comes up and people can sit down from the side, it’s easier to get in and out. The armrest can stay up allowing a very wide range of hip measurements to be accommodated.  It’s not perfect and it is important that people who weigh more than 500 pounds be accommodated and I’m not trying to downplay that, but compared to the normal scramble to find the one wheelchair in the hospital that accommodates someone up to 300 pounds as long as they have narrow hips, this is a major step forward.  This thing was obviously designed by someone who asked themselves “How can I make this work for more people.”

This may not seem like a big deal, but contrast that with Julianne’s recent trip to the orthopedist.  The doctor prescribed a knee brace.  The medical student responsible for getting her the prescribed brace came back and said, with finality, that they didn’t have one in her size.  When Julianne asked her to order one, she explained that they only order them in bulk in certain sizes and that she didn’t need the brace, the doctor just said that it would be help her, so she wouldn’t be getting one.  Julianne asked for a supervisor and after more than an hour of fighting for the medical care she would have already received if she were thin, they finally gave in.

Imagine if the people who made the braces had been thinking “how can we make these braces work for the most people?”  Or if the person responsible for ordering braces for this huge medical center had asked themselves “How can I make sure that I have braces in as many sizes as possible?” Or if the medical student who was in charge of helping Julianne had, upon finding out that they don’t have a brace in her size, asked herself “How can I get this patient the medical care she needs?” Any of the people involved in this chain could have saved Julianne an hour of fighting, instead, a person training to be a doctor didn’t bother, because she thought that instead of the brace the doctor prescribed, it was completely reasonable to say that it was just too inconvenient to provide Julianne with basic medical care.

Size prejudice should be eradicated everywhere, but medical care would be a really good place to start.  So thanks Staxi, Julianne and I appreciate what you do, and think that other areas of medical care have a lot to learn from you!

If you struggle with what to say to the doctor or how to deal with size prejudice in healthcare settings, you can still get your Doctor’s Office Survival Kit 

Activism Opportunity:

Have you ever been mistreated or underserved at a doctor’s office, hospital, or clinic because your were fat? Have you ever been stereotyped by a medical care provider or had your health judged based on your body size? These things happen every day. Thanks to the amazing Tiffany Cvrkel and the Size Diversity Task Force, we have a fantastic opportunity to let our stories be heard by people training to become Medical Advocates. It’s easy to do – if you’d like to be involved please email sizediversitytaskforce@gmail.com for details.  Please spread the word as well! Sunday 4/14 is our FINAL DEADLINE. Thank you!!!

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I was thinking today about how our culture’s single, rigid, photo shop standard of beauty hurts everyone when I ran across an article talking about how actresses are to blame for all of this.  I think that in many ways actresses are really hurt by the beauty ideal, and by the society that creates it.

First of all, actresses are under tremendous pressure to meet the stereotypical ideal of beauty.  I imagine that many would rather be able to spend their time improving their acting and being professional actors, than professional very thin women who appear to never age.

Society insists that they look like their photoshopped images to avoid public shame, vitriol, and humiliation, and then shames them for the things that they do to accomplish that.

In order to be an actress in this day and age, these women know that at any moment they could be photographed for some spread about the worst celebrity bodies, who wore it better, celebrities without makeup, celebrities in bikinis, I even saw one the other day about celebrities with the worst feet complete with glamorous photoshopped headshots next to close-ups of unphotoshopped feet.

We can’t have an award ceremony without spending the next two weeks absolutely trashing those who attended  for their dress, hair, shoes, makeup purse whatever.  Can you imagine if you won the highest award possible for your job and you knew that going to get it meant putting yourself up for massive public ridicule.

Magazines don’t publish these types of articles for fun.  They publish them because we click on them – in droves. We put actresses up on a pedestal, we insist that they meet an impossible standard of beauty, then we tear them down for not meeting it to make ourselves feel better because we can’t meet it either.

Meanwhile the beauty industry laughs itself all the way to the bank as, at our insistence, the actresses perpetuate a standard of beauty that is unattainable for almost everyone, which doesn’t stop millions of people from spending a lot of  their lives and their money trying to attain it anyway.

Maybe the money and the fame make it worth it for the actresses, maybe they are willing to put up with it to do something that they truly love. For me, it doesn’t really matter because I think that this hurts us all and I think it’s time to try something else.

There is lots of activism that we can do around this.  Simple things like refusing to click on all of those worst body, worst dressed, who looks better in this dress, actresses with the ugliest pinky finger blah blah blah articles.  Cancelling beauty magazine subscriptions and letting them know that you won’t be resubscribing until they stop contributing to body hatred, low self-esteem, and fat phobia.  We can support actresses who are being criticized for not meeting the beauty ideal for whatever reason – we can support them in comments, social media etc.  Ban the phrase “can you believe she’s wearing that!” because even if we don’t like someone’s outfit, surely we have something more interesting to talk about that doesn’t involve talking badly about someone else.

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This is a re-re-post.  In fact it’s a DWF tradition.  Today I got my first e-mails and comments from readers who are worried about buying swimsuits, so today I post this.  Enjoy! 

Do you know Golda Poretsky?  You should.  She is a very cool woman doing great work in the Body Positive Community. Her site is Body Love Wellness and I highly recommend it.

Yesterday she tweeted;  “Rec’d a link to “How Not To Look Fat In A Swimsuit”. Wld ♥ to see “How Not To Obsess Abt Looking Fat In A Swimsuit & F-ing Enjoy Yourself”

Well Golda, your wish is my command!

Seriously, let’s talk about this.  It seems that almost every woman I know, of any size, starts to have panic attacks the first time she sees swimsuits out on the floor of her favorite store;  their pesky cheerfulness belying their greater purpose of  prodding us into going on insane cabbage soup diets and considering a move to Alaska.

Let me preface this by saying that I don’t personally spend much time at lakes, rivers, oceans, pools or water parks.  It has nothing to do with my size or how I feel about wearing a bathing suit.  I am half Irish and half German so my skin can only achieve two colors:  translucent and lobster.  I’ve tried every sunscreen in the world and nothing works.  But don’t cry for me Argentina, I don’t really enjoy being in the sun so it all works out.  I’m a chlorinated, heated water, ambient temperature controlled, indoor pool kind of girl – I’m not high maintenance, I’m highly maintained.

That being said, I will strut around my gym in a bathing suit with no worries.  Here are a few reasons why:

1.  It’s my BODY.  I live with it 100% of the time.  It does awesome things for me like breathing, and walking, and swimming and I decided long ago that I am not going to allow anyone to convince me to hate or be ashamed of  something that I am with 100% of the time for the rest of my life.  I get to choose how I feel about my body – nobody else can make me feel good or bad, it’s on me.

2.  Because it’s a pool and when you go to the pool, you wear a swimsuit. It’s not for vanity – it’s practical.  The last time I was at the gym ready to make use of the pool there was a “thin to average size” (probably a size 8 or 10)  woman in a large t-shirt with a towel wrapped around her legs and all the way to her ankles.  She scooted to the edge of the pool and, in a move that I can only describe as ninja-esque, threw the towel behind her as she jumped into the water as fast as she could whilst grabbing a kickboard off the side.  But her Crouching Tiger Hidden Swimwear moves could not mask the fact that she was wearing control top pantyhose under her suit.  She looked at me and said “Nobody should have to see these legs without hose on”.  Before I could reply, she realized that her shirt was caught on the side railing, then her pantyhose got caught on her kickboard.  While I swam laps she spent most of the time dealing with being in the water with a giant shirt and pantyhose.  I am simply not willing to put up with that kind of inconvenience, or  have my technique interrupted by a ginormous swatch of cloth which, when it is wet, hides nothing anyway; and pantyhose which I will not wear under any circumstances in the world, ever.

3.  I do not care if people are offended by my body.  People are allowed to be offended by whatever they want and it’s really none of my business.  I’m offended by people who are offended by my body, but it turns out nobody gives a damn which is as it should be.  It is my BODY, if we all treated each other with basic human respect it would be impossible to be offended by someone else’s body.  The very idea is ludicrous to me. Regardless, it is not my job to protect people’s delicate sensibilities – there are at least three alternate cardinal directions in which they can look if they don’t want to look at me, they are free to choose one.

4.  Hypocrisy is an ugly thing.  It always seems like the same group of people who are  telling me that I should lose weight and are subsequently  offended by my body in a swimsuit.  While I would prefer that they just shut up, I insist that they choose – you can’t complain about my weight and then complain about what I do to stay fit.

5. It is maddening to me that the diet industry makes 60 BILLION dollars a year convincing women to hate themselves.  They create fear and uncertainty by saying things like “Swimsuit season is just around the corner, are you ready to wear a swimsuit?”  Well, let’s see here…  Swimsuit?  Check.  Body to put it on?  Check.  Yup, I’m all set thanks.  Plus I think I’ll keep my money you bloodsucking leeches.

6.  People can see me.  So they know how big I am whether I’m in a swimsuit, or jeans and a t-shirt.  If they are shocked at my size in a swimsuit, they should have been paying better attention.  That’s just a big sack of not-my-problem.

I realize that my swimsuit preferences are not everyone’s which is awesome.  Not everyone, regardless of size, is comfortable with how much skin a swimsuit shows.  Here are some more ideas  to help you stop obsessing and start having fun in the sun (or the oh-so-flattering incandescent glow of the overhead lights at the gym).

1. Alternative Swimsuits.  These are often created for women who want to keep to specific religious clothing guidelines or who just want a more modest look.  I did a quick Google search and found http://www.modestkini.com/.  I’m not affiliated with them at all so I make no guarantees, but it will give you an idea of what’s out there (and some of their plus size swimwear is actually modeled by plus-sized women.  Woot!)

2.  Fabulous Cover ups:  If there’s a particular part of your body that you prefer to keep covered for whatever reason, an (aptly-named) cover-up might be just the thing.  Here are some examples (again, no affiliation, check out the vendors before you buy!)

3.  Safety in numbers.  Go with a group of people who make you feel good about yourself and focus on the fun and not on any body insecurities you might have.  Think about how fantastic your body feels when you are swimming, or going down a water slide, or splashing in the waves.

4.  Reality check.  One of my favorite quotes is by Mark Twain “I’ve had thousands of problems in my life, most of which never actually happened”  When I’m worrying about something I try to remember that I am wasting energy on something that is not actually part of reality.  So instead I…

5.  …Expect the best, plan for the worst.  Think about what your true fears are about going out in a swimsuit.  Write them down and then create a plan to deal with each of them.  Are you afraid people will say something mean to you?  Create some scripting and practice it until you feel comfortable (you might check out my “How Dare You” post). Afraid of chaffing?  Hie thee to Google and read up on the various lotions, powders etc. that can help with that, or look into swimsuits that can help. Worried people will talk about you behind your back?  Maybe get over that – I actually think that’s the best possible outcome because frankly I don’t want to hear it anyway.

In the end of course it’s your choice.  For my part,  I’m not willing to allow my options for fun, activity, movement etc. to be controlled by what other people might think or say.  If my own fears or insecurities are getting in the way I try to find a way over (modest swimsuit), under (cover up), or through (F this, I’m wearing a bikini) the fear and insecurity because I’ve found that very often the pure joy lies just on the other side.

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Yesterday I completed my first official 5k with the dancers from More Cabaret. They were super awesome (special thanks to Aurora who not only organized the logistics but also made our tutus, and to Julianne and Robert for being our photo/videographers!) I do not enjoy running. At least, not the distance kind where I end up roughly where I started, only more tired.  I long ago learned to set realistic goals when it comes to athletics and so I had no expectation that I would love it and want to do increasingly longer races with increasing frequency.  My goals were to have fun and bond with my teammates, complete a 5k, and be awarded a t-shirt and medal. All those things happened, but some not like I had hoped.

So first I’ll work out my rage.  The phrase “I do it for the t-shirt” is common among runners. Most people who run in these types of events will never win.  They are doing it for the experience and typically a t-shirt signifying that they completed the event.  In this grand tradition, I wanted to be super excited about my t-shirt, but when I was only given an option to buy an XL shirt, my excitement waned.  When I was given an XL t-shirt, I explained that I had actually e-mailed when I registered because I, and others on my team, needed 2,3,and 4XL.  The woman said that XL was the largest size that they had.  I asked “Do you happen to know, does the event not want plus-sized runners, or do they just not care if we don’t get the same things as everyone else?”  She literally threw her hands up and said “This is all I have.”  I asked if there was someone who I could talk to and after 2 misdirections I ended up at the info booth.  I was told that there were 14 shirts larger than XL but, unlike everyone who got to select their size when they registered, the plus-size shirts were first come first served. So apparently it was my fault for not being one of the first 14 fatties through the door.   When pressed she said she was sorry and gave me her e-mail to follow up.  I will.

I realize that some may think I’m over-reacting to a shirt and that’s ok.  This is incredibly frustrating to me.  Nobody of any size is under any obligation to exercise, or be an athlete at all.  Being an athlete is not better or worse than any other hobby/lifestyle etc.  Those of use who are fat athletes often have our existence denied, and face being stigmatized and bullied for merely existing in the athletic world.  Making sure that we can’t wear a shirt celebrating our athletic successes does both – it is stigmatizing. and is another way of making us invisible.  It also makes me wonder if they don’t want people to know that fat people participate in their races.  They obviously knew that they were going to have fat runners, they didn’t care that only 14 of us had a chance at a getting a shirt that we could actually wear.  They took t-shirt orders before buying them so they could have easily included plus-size options.  (And for the record, if those shirts cost more and it messes with the profits then they can either become better at negotiating with their vendors or  increase the race fees by a quarter or whatever per participant to make it work.)

Beyond the t-shirt situation, there were definitely some lessons for me:

I struggled with not being “good” at the 5k.  I benefit from a tremendous amount of athletic privilege, and the athletic things that I do are typically things at which I am naturally talented and have put many, many hours of hard work so I’m used to being among the best.  I’m not naturally good at this type of running and I didn’t train hard so of course it’s not a shocker that I wasn’t very good, but I was surprised at how bothered I was by that.  I’m going to make an effort to try more new things, things to which I don’t seem particularly well suited, and things where I might be the worst.

I learned that there is not just a 6pm, there is also a 6am.  If that’s when your event starts, it involves setting your alarm for 3:25am.  Some people think that’s a reasonable thing to do.  I am not one of those people, and any events that I do in the future will have the word “midnight” in the title.

Speaking of future events…  The truth about this event is that I didn’t really have to train. I knew that we were going to be walking it, and 3 miles is a distance I can walk comfortably.  Crossing the finish line was still a cool experience and there is a part of me that wants to do more events just to have done them.  We’ll see if there is a 10k or a marathon in my future.

You can see pictures of the 5k on the More Gallery  Just scroll down to the “More Cabaret at Play” gallery.

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The first thing to know is that all of the interventions being used for “childhood obesity” are experimental at best.  There is no long term data showing that these interventions lead to more “normal weight” kids/adults, or healthier kids/adults (remember that those are two different things.) The research simply doesn’t exist.

There is definitely evidence that trying to get children to be as weight-obsessed as their parents may not have been the best call:

Research from the University of Minnesota found that: None of the behaviors being used by adolescents for weight-control purposes predicted weight loss…Of greater concern were the negative outcomes associated with dieting and the use of unhealthful weight-control behaviors, including significant weight gain.

A Canadian study found that eating disorders were more prevalent than type 2 diabetes in kids.

The American Academy of Pediatrics reported that hospitalizations of children younger than 12 years for eating disorders rose by 119% from 1999 to 2006. (Children UNDER 12) There was a 15% increase in hospitalizations for eating disorders in all ages across the same time period.

A new study is looking at the effects of “school based healthy-living programs.”  Turns out that these programs are being instituted in lots of schools, despite the fact that, per the researchers,  there is little research on the effectiveness of these programs or any inadvertent harmful effects on children’s mental health.

This study found that these programs are actually triggering eating disorders in kids.  Dr. Leora Pinhas said “The programs present this idea that weight loss is good, that only thin is healthy…We live in a culture that stigmatizes fat people, and we’ve turned it into this kind of moralistic health thing.”

Well said Dr. Pinhas, well said.  But I would say that it goes beyond that.  Fat people have been the unwilling, un-consenting victims of experimental medicine for years.  Now we are moving the experiment to kids.

With her assertion that she is going to eradicate all the fat kids in a generation, despite having not a single intervention shown to lead to long-term weight loss in kids (or adults), Michelle Obama has helped to usher in an era wherein anyone who says that they have an idea for eradicating fat kids is taken as seriously as if they had actual research backing their idea.  Kids are being subjected to interventions that were created by rectal pull, no evidence necessary. So when someone said”It makes sense to me that if we have kids focus on their weight, count calories, and think of exercise as punishment for being fat, then they’ll all be thin” authorities, including health professionals, just went ahead and implemented that intervention in schools across the country.

The problem is that someone’s belief – no matter how sincere – does not an evidence-based public health intervention make.   When we consider dart-throwing and rectal pull to be appropriate methods of developing public health initiatives for kids, we open ourselves up to things like what the evidence is uncovering:   the interventions don’t work, they have the exact opposite of the intended effect, and they result in dangerous side effects.

We need to demand that kids not be subjected to a ceaseless barrage of experiments in an attempt to manipulate their body sizes in ways that we don’t have any proof is possible or helpful.  While we’re at it, we might demand the same standard for ourselves.

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My partner and I are members of our local YMCA.  One of the reasons we chose it is because there are way less fat-shaming messages and weight loss propaganda than at other gyms.  I started taking a Zumba class for a fun way to get in some movement, but it has been hampered by weight loss myths and fat stereotyping and so my j0y is less than full.

Nobody, of any size, has any obligation to do movement of any kind.  But everybody, of every size, should have the opportunity to do things that they want to do in a space that is physically and psychologically safe, with an instructor who is knowledgeable. If only…

The first time I took the class the teacher kept saying that we should move our hips to help “whittle our middle.”  Since we’ve known for many years that spot reducing is not actually possible, I went up to her afterwards and asked what made her say that. She looked at me and said “When you move your hips it heats up your waist area and the fat melts away.”  It happened so quickly that I was not able to control my “WTF Face.” I recovered and said “Sorry, do you mean that literally?  The fat melts away?”  She answered “Yes, the heat from the workout makes the fat melt.”  I explained that spot-reducing has been disproven in a number of ways (including a study where they measured the playing arm and the non-playing arm of tennis players and found that the had the same amount of fat despite one arm doing a ton more work).  She said that she didn’t understand what that had to do with it. As politely as possible I asked her  to consider doing her research, and not give any more workout advice until she does, since she is a fitness professional and people  will believe what she says.

My fun is also compromised by stupid myths from classmates.  Last night it was really warm in the room, there are fans on the wall and about 15 minutes in everyone turned on the fans for their row. As a couple of us moved to turn our fans on, one of the women in our row insisted that we leave them off because it would help us all lose more fat.  Ok, first of all let’s not assume that everyone on the row wants to lose fat.  Second, does she think that the fat is coming out of our pores? A little reality for you:  we’re not losing more fat, we’re just sweating our asses off. Turn on the damn fans.

Behind me were a girl (who mentioned being a college freshmen) and her mom. Halfway through the class I overheard her lamenting to her mom that she couldn’t keep up. Her mom tried to console her by saying “It’s your first time, you’re doing fine.”  I was thinking how awesome her mom was for reacting that way when the girl said “I’m not!  Even that fat girl [points at me] is doing better than me!”

Ok, dude, I am not the low bar (I can, however, simultaneously hear you and see you in the mirror so you might want to watch that.)  Seriously though, look around, I can say with humility and honesty that I’m doing better than just about everyone in the class – which is likely because I have, like, a hundred million hours of dance training and practice. I would suggest not comparing yourself to others at all, but assuming that the fattest person in the room is the worst at whatever you are doing is simply stereotyping and bigotry.

Then the cherry on top of the crap sundae – I was on my way out and a girl from the class said “You’re a great dancer, keep working and, I promise, you’ll get there!”  I responded, with absolute innocence, “Get where?”  She said “You know…reach your goals.”  I asked, with a smile “What goals?”  To her credit she then said “Well, you’re an amazing dancer.”  I smiled and said “Thanks!  See you next time!”

Despite all the crap, I will see her next time.  I’ll say it again – nobody, of any size, has any obligation to do movement of any kind.  But everybody, of every size, should have the opportunity to do so in a space that is physically and psychologically safe, with an instructor who is knowledgeable. Unfortunately not everyone has that, and for fat people it can mean that those who want to move or get involved in various activity don’t.  (If you haven’t ready Tiffany’s blog about Practicing Yoga While Fat  over on the More Cabaret Blog I recommend it.)   One of the ways that I try to do activism around that is to keep showing up fat.  Some days I have the energy and desire to challenge these myths and stereotypes directly and try to make things better. Other days, I just do single-single-double-cha-cha-cha, know that I’m doing something that my body likes, hope that by being the fattest person in the room I might have made life a little easier for someone who was worried about being the fattest person in the room, and knowing that,  just by being fat in that space, I’m giving some people the opportunity to challenge their stereotypes.  And on those days, that’s enough.

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Several readers let me know that Samoa Air has become the first airline to price tickets entirely by weight. According to NBC News “Depending on the flight, each kilogram (2.2 pounds) costs 93 cents to $1.06.”  The weight includes the passenger and their luggage.

I looked up the official policy and it says:

So how does ‘Pay-by-weight’ work?

Well, its simple really:

Step 1. Select ‘Make a Booking’, and choose your flight

Step 2. Enter your details, including your estimated weight(s) of passengers and baggage

Step 3. Your airfare is then calculated using your weight.

Step 4. You travel happy, knowing full well that you are only paying for exactly what you weigh… nothing more.

Still unsure? Read on…

Booking a flight with us is as easy as inputting your approximate weight into our online booking engine (don’t worry, we will weigh you again at the airport) – you then can prepay your ‘guesstimate’, guaranteeing you that much weight is allocated to you for that flight. Take as many or as few bags as you wish – and avoid the exorbitant excess baggage fee’s [sic]! With Samoa Air, you are the master of how much (or little!) you air ticket will cost.

I’m so glad they said that, I was totally worried that they weren’t going to weigh me again at the airport.  Holy crap.  This is such a bad idea that many people online thought it was an April Fool’s joke.  It is not. In fact, it has been touted as “the only fair way to price tickets.”  I disagree with that, and think it’s a bad idea on many other levels.

First of all, the idea that “You are the master of how much” your ticket costs is ridiculous and not just because dieting is shown to fail long-term for almost everyone.  This also penalizes people monetarily for being tall, or for being more genetically likely to put on muscle, for weight training, for being on life-saving medications that cause weight gain, for having health conditions that cause weight gain.  But I’m getting ahead of myself…

First of all, I think it would be great if the airlines would clarify the problem they are solving.  As Deb Burgard once pointed out to me, the airlines try to have it both ways: When they bump us from flights because they’ve sold more seats than they have, they tell us that they didn’t sell us a specific seat, they are only selling transportation from one place to another.  When we take up more than one seat, they tell us that they aren’t selling transportation from one place to another, they are selling us a specific seat. That’s mighty convenient. but it leaves me with some questions.

I’ve seen the CEO of Samoa air quoted as saying that this is about charging heavier people more because they require more fuel.  Let’s examine that situation.  Forbes writer Emily Stewart’s research found that it takes about a gallon of jet fuel to fly 100 pounds on a domestic flight.  The industry average is $3.05 per gallon.  So I cost $6.10 more to fly than a 100 pound person, but my ticket costs up to $96 more.  That’s quite the mark-up.

Also, the most common complaint I hear is that fat people should pay more because we take up more space. Instead of blaming the airlines for shoving more seats on smaller planes,  anonymous people take to the internet to wring their collective virtual hands at the thought of having to touch a fat person – omg the horror, THE HORROR! For now I’ll ignore the fact that I’ve only ever seen it suggested that fat people pay more –  not people whose wide shoulders or long legs cause them to encroach on other passengers.  I looked all over Samoa Air’s website and I could not find anywhere that this is addressed.  There is nothing explaining what I would get for paying 3 times as much as a 100 pound passenger.  Do I get three seats?  Am I paying 15 times more than a 20 pound child but getting the same amount of space that they do? If I pay three times as much as the person next to me (my six bucks in extra fuel plus an 89.90 markup) and I’m still crammed into a tiny seat and they are still bitching about sitting next to a fat person, I’m not going to be a happy camper.

Even if I get three seats, there are other problems with this.  First of all, Samoa Air is a tiny airline so maybe they have time to weigh everyone at the airport and adjust their fees, but can you imagine the kind of time this is going to add to major airlines?  I travel all the time and I routinely get stuck behind people who haven’t sussed out that keys are made of metal, and so have to go through the x-ray twice, how early am I going to have to get to the airport to deal with this bullshit?

Also, I often book trips months in advance and, while I’m an organized person, I don’t typically pack my bags months in advance and so don’t have a precise weight for them.  So let’s say that I want to be a good guy so I overestimate.  According to their website “In the event that a pre-estimated weight defined by the customer is greater then what travels on the day, it is at the sole descretion [sic] of Samoa Air as to whether a refund for the weight difference may be offered.”

Ok, so if I don’t want to take the chance at losing money because I am not a luggage psychic, I underestimate. Then maybe I don’t get on the plane – again according to their website “Pre-purchased weight is given priority over weight that is purchased at a later date (for example: Online, prior to day of travel vs. at the airport on the day of travel).”

Ok, so if I overestimate I might lose my money.  If I underestimate then I might not be able to get on the flight. I’m sure this system wasn’t created to get people to overestimate and give the airline more money.

What happens when someone has underestimated by more than the money they have available to pay?  Does the airline lose the entire fare? Do they keep the money but not allow the flyer onboard? What happens when someone overpaid and wants their money back?

Yeah, this definitely won’t cause a massive clusterfuck at check in.

What about people who need medical equipment?  Power wheelchairs can weight more than 400 pounds, do people who use those chairs have to pony up an extra two hundred bucks every time they fly?  Then there are people who are on medication that causes weight gain, and who have health conditions that cause weight gain? They are being asked to pay extra for what is clearly a medical condition.

What about people with eating disorders who are told not to weigh themselves because of how triggering it can be?

Many women retain water each month. Forget that ovulation calendar, we’ll have to track water retention so that we know how much to estimate for our airline ticket.

Doesn’t this set up a scenario where people may do unhealthy things to “make weight” for their airline ticket?

Also, of course I would never suspect them of anything shady but who is verifying that the scales are correct?  According to the Bureau of Transportation Statistics from 2012, about 1.75 million passengers fly every day.  If the airlines add just 2 pounds per person at $0.50 per pound that’s more than a half billion dollars in extra profits every year.

Meanwhile, Chris Langston, Chief Executive Office of Samoa is trying to get credit for “raising awareness of weight” because we know that the job of the airlines is to make our health their business, and absolutely nobody is talking about weight.  No wait, that’s wrong – people cannot shut up about weight and the job of the airline is to fly my ass safely from one place to another. Sorry, no extra credit for you Chris.

Even if this isn’t thinly veiled fat bigotry it’s still a horrible idea for all of these reasons and more. (For more on this topic, I recommend this blog by Jay Solomon.)

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There is a deodorant commercial airing right now where Lolo Jones, an Olympic track athlete, talks about how hard it is to be an Olympic track athlete and then says that she is now going to compete in Bobsled in the winter Olympics.  In another similar commercial Olympic Soccer player Alex Morgan explains that when she’s not playing soccer she does stand up paddle-boarding and that “if you’re not sweating, you’re not working hard enough.”  At the end both women say “I do more.”  and big block letters on the screen say “Do: More.”

The first time I saw the commercial I thought “That’s awesome!” and I thought back with pride to a couple weeks ago when  I had a video shoot to do to celebrate the success of Fit Fatties Across America.  I was sick and felt absolutely horrible but I took great pride in going to the shoot and acting like everything was mostly fine and that I “sounded better than I felt,” (holy crap was that a lie!).  I came home and got much sicker.

These two things have helped me realize that one of my old issues was trying to come back.  A big part of my eating disorder was compulsive exercise but I didn’t call it that – I called it “being hardcore.” [Trigger Warning for Three step classes in a row? No problem – now let’s do 45 minutes each on the elliptical, treadmill, rowing machine and stair machine before I hit the weights. It included never feeling like I had done enough and proudly ignoring all of my bodies signals like hunger, soreness, pain, and sickness.  It also included being praised for behavior that was very destructive.  People constantly said that they wished they had my discipline.  Or, the worst thing now that I look back, that I was their inspiration.  Yikes – sorry about that.

Happily I was able to recognize the mindset and stop it before I traveled any farther down a bad road.  I was able to admit that ignoring my body is not how I want to treat it.  I take another look at that deodorant commercial and realize that, to me, the message is not awesome.  These women are allowed to do whatever they want – if they want to do ten Olympic sports that’s completely their business.  But why must we constantly be told that whatever we’re doing is not enough?  As fat people, this message can be overwhelming since we’re told that a fat body is evidence that we aren’t doing “enough.” I can’t even count how many times I’ve been told that I need to “eat less and exercise more” by someone who hasn’t even bothered to ask what I eat or how much I exercise.

But of course it’s not just fat people, no matter what our size, the message is clear: we’re never doing enough.  Doing 2 hours in the gym a day?  Not enough.  Olympic athlete, but only in one Olympic sport?  Not enough.

Enough.  We all get to choose how highly we prioritize movement, what kind of movement we do and how much.  If you had asked me during my compulsive exercise days, I would have guessed that you needed at least 2 hours of movement a day to have any health benefit.  I remember how shocked I as when I found out that studies show that 30 minutes a day was the sweet spot, and that people benefited from even an hour a week of movement (there’s a great, though not 100% fat friendly video about that here [Trigger warning: I think that the video contains great information if you can get past the brief mention of “obesity as a problem” in the beginning].  What if our public health messaging was about “do what you want to and can, and celebrate that” instead of “work out like it’s a job” or “you will never be doing enough”.

Everywhere I look I am encouraged to be “hardcore”…work out more, workout harder, treat my body like a limitation to overcome instead of like a partner, ignore my bodies signals.  I gave that the old college try and it did not work out, so I will continue to try to treat my body like a friend, move in ways that are joyful and help me reach my goals, and celebrate what I do – instead of beating myself up for what I don’t.  The hardcore habit was hard to kick but, for me, it was worth the effort.

Like the blog?  Here’s more of my stuff:

Become a member: Keep this blog ad-free, support the activism work I do, and get deals from cool businesses Click here for details

The Book:  Fat:  The Owner’s Manual  The E-Book is Name Your Own Price! Click here for details

Dance Class DVDs:  Buy the Dance Class DVDs – Every Body Dance Now! Click here for details