I keep seeing references to fat women that are meant to be positive, calling them “real women”.  Plus sized clothing stores that advertise the idea that their clothes are for “real women”, commercials for the More to Love dating show that indicated that he is dating “real” women.   Shirts that say “real women have curves”.  I would love to have more fat positive t-shirts, but they all seem to be saying something nasty about thin women.  While I teach dance classes that are created specifically to be body inclusive, I personally know a woman who was ridiculed in a belly dance class for being too thin.

It really bugs me.  As if thin women are somehow “fake”, or that we should try to convince our would-be partners that we are somehow better to date than our thin counterparts because of the shape of our bodies.  I think that we are stumbling mightily on the path to equality. From my perspective, it’s not about trying to bring the other side down. We achieve equality by bringing ourselves up – by doing things like shattering stereotypes and refusing to participate in a cultural phenomenon whereby our body size is used as a measure for anything other than exactly what it is – the size of our bodies.

Trying to make thin women feel bad about themselves is not the way to go – in fact I would wager that it increases the chasm (of mutual fear and insecurity) between us. Trying to make other people feel bad about themselves to make ourselves feel better was a bad idea in Elementary School and it’s a bad idea now.

If we want people to stop judging us by our body size, how about we stop doing the same to others.

A crappy fairytale:

Once upon a time, someone noticed a decrease in Physical Education classes that happened around the same time as an increase in “childhood obesity”.  Rather than apply that evil villain, Scientific Method, to the problem, they immediately began funneling money into schools to get more physical education to fight the omigod deathfat.  Reasonable people, who were not alarmists from the United States, did a study (using the evil villain, Scientific Method).  Turns out that the guess was not proved out and they may have nothing to do with each other.  You can read the facts here: http://budurl.com/gymduh

The moral of the story?  Despite the media and politician’s best efforts, your eighth grade biology teacher was right that CORRELATION DOES NOT IMPLY CAUSATION.  Never ever, never ever, never ever.  Not even when we’re talking about OMIGODDeathFat.  Even then, Scientific Method prevails.  Look, over there, is that a big flaming sack of duh?

My dance team, Body Positive Dance, had our debut performance after only a month of rehearsal.  You can check it out here!

Enjoy!!!!

You know how sometimes it can take a while for a dream that you have to come true and sometimes it happens right away?

On December 9, 2008 at 11:25pm, I decided to stop thinking about teaching dance classes for bigger bodies, and having a performance team (which I had been doing for a couple of years) and make a few posts around Live Journal to see if anyone might actually want to take them.

Three months and 4 days later, not only are the classes going strong but it is the night before the performance team’s debut.  And let me be the first to tell you, they are incredible. 

We originally planned to debut on June 7th so we are pushing hard to get the choreography.  I gave them difficult choreography – it’s fast and intricate, I gave them really tough partner stunts, and they just learned it.  I created a precise walk on, bow and walk off sequence, and they just learned it.  I got really specific about foot position and hand position, and they just learned it.

After the performance I’ll post the video, but for now let me say that when we finished the trick and all six people slammed the floor at the same time during our VERY FIRST full music run through, it was like my whole dream came together right there.

I cannot begin to express my gratitude to the members of the class who come and, through sheer force of will, create a space for us all to love and respect our bodies in a culture where that seems like an impossible feat.

And I know I will never be able to express what it means to be part of a group who are willing to put themselves out there to prove that dancers come in every shape and size.

Thank you!  Thank you!  Thank you!

Join us tomorrow from 8-10pm at the Dancing for Dachshunds fundraiser  Watch some dancing (maybe dance a little yourself) and support the Central Texas Dachshund Rescue as they try to find homes for wayward little dogs!

I recently saw this picture in a magazine and thought OMIGOD they sell fat Barbie, I want to buy a fat Barbie.
Fat Barbie!!!!

From my point of view, one of the most damaging things about the current slew of weight loss shows, diet books etc. is newly thin people trying on clothes, smiling into the camera and saying “I’m wearing single digits!  I finally love myself after all these years!!!!”.

If someone chooses their life partner or friends based entirely upon how they look, we call them superficial.  So why is it considered ok in our society to make our self-esteem contingent upon how we look?

I  take a decent amount of flack for being a body positive fat person.  Most recently, someone anonymously e-mailed me to say “I don’t think it’s a good thing for you to tell people it’s ok to be fat”. They said a lot of other really mean-spirited stuff, including calling me a fat bitch, but that was the gist of their argument.  I get an e-mail like this about twice a week (sometimes the writer is more respectful, but usually not).

Here’s the thing, I’m not interested in being in the business of telling other people what is or is not ok for their body.  There are size 0 women who do not have an eating disorder and are sick of people assuming that they do, or hearing bitter fat women call them “skinny bitches”.  There are healthy fat people who are sick of the death fat police telling them that if they don’t lose weight they are just going to keel over and die, or hearing insecure thin women call them “fat bitches”.

What I am trying to show people is that they can love themselves no matter what their size or what they want to do with their body.

If someone chooses to lose weight, or gain weight,  I fully support them (because, hey, it’s their decision and I want my decisions about my body and weight to be respected and supported).  I just think it’s unfortunate that they should make their self-esteem contingent upon that happening.

What about choosing to love yourself and appreciate your body for what it CAN do, and coming to your weight loss journey from that place instead of “I hope I finally stop hating myself after I lose 50lbs”?  What if you lose 50lbs and it doesn’t reverse your self-esteem instantly?  What if you do lose the weight and suddenly “love yourself”, but then something happens and you gain it back?

You might be able to afford to be completely superficial when choosing your dates, life partner, and your friends, but I think you will find that the price for superficial self-esteem is just too high.

I was listening to the radio today and they were playing a country song about a guy who lost his girl.  Pretty traditional fare where Country music is concerned.   But then came the lyric:

"I would spend all my money on caviar and cocaine"

Awww, poor guy lost his girl and he’s so sa….Wait.  What?  Did he just say "caviar and cocaine"? 

My boyfriend and I decided that it absolutely wasn’t ok for a country singer to spend all of his money on caviar and cocaine.  We quickly came up with a list of acceptable combos to drown your country western sorrow:

stale pretzels and warm beer
cheap whiskey and Pringles
Jack Daniels and Twinkies
RC Cola and moonpies
Cold Brisket, day old Tater Salad and Tequila
Ribs, Ice Cream and Boones Farm

Any others?

Check it out, somebody Dugg my Baby Got Back two-step routine.  Now, the more people who digg it, the more who will see it, the more stereotypes that can be hopefully smashed and I feel all cool and stuff.

If you want to Digg it,, just click here and say that you digg it (if, in fact, you do).

Thanks!!!!

Today was our last day on January Choreography and my dance classes KILLED IT!!!  The beginner class had some very challenging choreography (especially the fast pivots to the pose at the end) and they were awesome.  The intermediate class dance their choreography about 50% faster than we have been and they completely ROCKED it.  It made me so happy.

Now I’m off to choreograph February’s combinations.  Woo Hoo!!!