Here’s the next installment of my series of comebacks to the fatphobic nonsense we have to deal with. If you have a phrase you’d like me to create a comeback for, or if you have a comeback that you love, please leave them in the comments! (You can read Part One Here!)If you just watch your portions, stop eating sugar, and walk, you would lose weight and be so pretty
Have you ever thought about losing weight?
You’re in denial
It’s only a matter of time until you get diabetes.
Ugh. Why does she wear shorts in public? Why does she force me to look at that?
You look 34 going on 70
Are you a man or a woman
You’re living on borrowed time, that heart attack is coming
No man is going to want to F you looking like that
I’m just so worried about your heart!
Why are you showing off by ordering salad, everyone knows you don’t really eat like that
You’re only fat because you have a disease/diseases. Don’t you want to be cured?
Me saying I want to lose weight in front of you has nothing to do with you; stop taking it personally.
If you could lose just 10% of your body weight…
Doctor: you must lose weight before (you can receive proper medical care/surgery/treatment/pills).
You’re gonna die sooner.
I love you and I just want you to be healthy
I think you’re beautiful but being…..like /this/…is just objectively not healthy
Do you really need to eat that?
Have you ever tried keto/paleo/whole 30/intermittent fasting
a
I have, but I care about my health, so I don’t do that anymore.
a
You’re fooling yourself
a
You can believe whatever you want, bless your heart, but there’s no need to say it out loud.
a
Don’t you want a man in your life? Men don’t like fat women.
What about the obesity epidemic?
I just started these pills to stop me from gaining weight with my anti- depressants. You should ask your doctor about them.
Let’s [perform some feat of physical exertion] so we can EARN that [delicious food]!
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Dances With Fat 
I don’t know if I could actually do it(maybe for teenagers or cruel men) but my comeback is this:No shit Sherlock I’m fat! Do you have any other brilliant observations to share?
I have not used it but I like, “Oh God/goodness/gosh/my, are you O.K., should you talk to your doctor about changing your medication?
Brief version is: Haven’t they changed your medication?
This was a beautiful blog, thank you for what you do!
“You’re in denial”
[…]
“Nope, you have me confused with all the people who keep pushing dieting even though the research shows that it almost never works.”
Several bookshelves’ worth of scholarly articles could be written on the interplay between bigotry and projection. See this. See also: Bigots who found, support, and protect a worldwide system of clinics and pharmaceuticals and diets and scientifically-unfounded medical precedent and TV shows with a sixty billion dollar cash flow, all laser-focused on turning fat people into thin people, consequences to the individuals affected or society on the whole be damned, hysterically shrieking that fat acceptance isn’t really about equality between people of all sizes, but about forcing thin people to be fat.
Nothing to see here, folks, just people who spend their whole lives and build their whole identities around trying to turn fat people into thin people trying to project their own vile actions and attitudes onto their victims to further rationalize preying on them.
(Oh, and for the triple crown, see also: people who accuse you of hoarding and gorging on “forbidden” foods that you find gross because THEY like and feel “tempted” by them).
🙂
“If you just watch your portions, stop eating sugar, and walk, you would lose weight and be so pretty”
I misread the first one as “if you just watch your potatoes,” and it reminded me of one of THOSE conversations with my mother. We were having lunch, and she said to me: “my friend was diagnosed with diabetes, and she’s overweight. The doctor told her she can’t eat potatoes anymore.”
I said “that’s nice,” and took a bite of potato.
With my mother, refusing to acknowledge her fatphobic statements tends to be the best tactic. Arguing with her just makes me look irrational because she puts on the “deer in the headlights” look and says in a pained voice, “I just don’t know what you’re getting so upset about!”
Have you ever tried keto/paleo/whole 30/intermittent fasting?
a: I have, but I care about my health, so I don’t do that anymore.
I had kicked diet culture to the curb before “keto” came along, but I did Atkins twice and a couple of Atkins clones. I ended up feeling like I was going to pass out, I was moody as all fuck, my brain was even foggier than usual, and I felt sick most of the time. I don’t remember if it was with Atkins proper the first time or with one of the clones, but my hair became very brittle and started coming out in handfuls. No fucking thanks.
As for “intermittent fasting,” that’s what I do when my abusive partner ED (eating disorder) comes in swinging and knocks me for a loop. I restrict my food intake (usually full-on starving myself) for a day or more and either sleep so I don’t eat or sit there mired in self-loathing. Yeah, that seems very healthy, don’t you think?
“”You look great! Have you lost weight?”
.
Me: (give shocked look as I pat my body everywhere)
“”Gosh, I hope not! I don’t want to ruin my figure!””