Fat Is Not A Feeling

facepalmIn a recent piece in People Magazine called “Ashley Graham Opens Up About Confidence: ‘There Are Some Days I Feel Fat,’” the author claims, “No one does confidence like Ashley Graham,” and then calls her a “supermodel” who has “changed the fashion game when it comes to inclusion and acceptance of different body types in campaigns and on runways, and helped many real women embrace their own shapes.”

Ashley Graham was asked about confidence and responded: “There are some days I feel fat. I’m not convinced there’s going to be a moment where every woman in the world wakes up and feels like a million dollars. So, what I want to do is give women the tools that will help when those moments come up. Sometimes it can be as easy as telling yourself that you are beautiful.”

I don’t even know where to start with this mess.  Let’s start with making it clear why this is a mess.

In Graham’s quote, she is suggesting that being fat is a feeling, that being fat is what happens when you wake up and don’t feel like a million dollars.

That being fat is something that comes and goes in “moments” that are to be dealt with using “tools” like telling yourself that you are beautiful.

Except that this is total crap.

You can read my full piece about this here!

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6 thoughts on “Fat Is Not A Feeling

  1. I did not realize I needed a Ragen fix until read your iron man blog today!🙋😊👍 Thanks for being you the way u b u! Love Stan

    Sent from my iPhone


  2. This one is sad and shows the level of fight were up against. They really just don’t Get It. And what’s more, they don’t want to. In the end, the world is full of people who are not gonna be on your wavelength. Make friends where you can and who ever isn’t coming along…. Your gonna have to let em go. Unless they are in your yard…that’s different. When it is “just what other’s think” what can ya do? Not everyone is gonna agree.

  3. I still fall into the habit of ‘feeling fat’ when what I am really feeling is frustrated with the size of my belly and how hard it is to find clothes I like that fit it well.

    Telling myself ‘I’m beautiful’ is not going to change the physical fact that women’s clothes are not designed for fat bellies.

    So I tell myself I need to make my own clothes or earn enough to spring for clothes I really want, regardless of price.

    I also need to figure out how best to rock a slightly rumpled looks since I favor cotton and linen and hate ironing.

    But I am over the idea that I can’t be beautiful even though I’m fat. That’s due in part to this blog and my fellow commenters.


    1. I hear ya! It’s not “feeling fat,” so much as it is feeling put-upon by the world, in general.

      Oh, here’s a tip for cotton and linen, when you don’t want to iron. Get a spray bottle and fill it with water. Hang up the clothes you don’t want to iron, and spray them, lightly, with the water, then smooth out the wrinkles. You may even tug them into shape and press pleats or whatever, with your hands. Then, wait for them to dry, and they should be almost wrinkle-free!

      Also, if you have expensive clothes, I recommend skipping the dryer, entirely. Let the washer spin them to a damp-dry, and then hang them up to dry the rest of the way (do the smooth-hand thing), and you can not only forego the iron, but you’ll increase the lifespan of your expensive clothes. You know what dryer lint is? It’s your clothes disintegrating!

      Although, I do think dryers are totally worth it for blankets and towels and other things you want to be fluffy. Air-dried clothes tend to be stiff. Although, they soften right up again, with usage. So, if you do air-dry towels, just wave them around a bit, maybe whap them against something hard, and they’ll soften up.

      1. I knew about the dryer, but I haven’t tried the spray bottle. I will have to test it out. I wonder how well it works on pants.

        Do you have any advice for getting tea-stains out of clothes?

        1. It works really nicely on pants. Not quite as good as an iron, but you can get nice pleat lines up the front of your trousers, if you carefully press between your palms. Tug out the wrinkles first, then shape and press.

          Tea-stains? Sorry. I don’t drink tea. I guess make a really really big batch of tea, and soak the garment in that? No more tea stain! Just a lovely brown garment. Earthy colors are so comforting, aren’t they?

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