Khloé Kardashian has a new show called “Revenge Body.” The premise is “Let’s make our haters our biggest motivators” and to that end people who have been bullied are given a team of trainers and “beauty experts” to help them go to drastic measures to look like people they assume their bullies would not have bullied which, for Khloé, passes for “revenge.”
While people are allowed to do whatever they want with their bodies for whatever their reasons, this, to me, is no kind of revenge. This is spending a ton of time, energy, and money to give the bullies exactly what they wanted, and then asking for their approval. It’s like saying “give the bullies your lunch money, that’ll show ’em!”
We don’t owe our bullies anything, least of all manipulation of our body size, eyebrow waxing, or uncomfortable shoes – however “fashionable” they might be. Oppression takes a lot of different forms, and oppression against people who are believed to be able to move out of an oppressed group often leads to people feeling vindicated in their suggestion that the best way to solve social stigma is for stigmatized people to change ourselves.
As a queer woman I’ve been told that if I don’t like being the victim of homophobia I should date a dude. As a fat woman I’ve been told that if I don’t like being the victim of fatphobia I should become thin. In both cases it doesn’t actually matter if it’s possible to change myself, because the cure for social stigma is ending social stigma – not for stigmatized people to try to squeeze ourselves in a mold someone else created for us.
I will not try to manipulate my body size for some kind of twisted victim-blaming concept of “revenge.” I will wield my beautiful fat body like a weapon. I will love it, I will care for it, I will move it, I will show it in public, I will viciously defend my body against anyone who seeks to classify it as anything but amazing. The problem here isn’t how we look, it’s that people bully us for how we look. I don’t care about revenge, but I do demand social change.
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It’s a bad idea to devote that much time and energy to people who hate you.
Bullies always find a way to bully, and it isn’t always about looks.
I hope the people who end up on the show eventually realize that and go on to find their own happiness.
So the premise here is that if someone wronged you, you should aggressively kiss their ass in the hopes you can “earn” an apology from them?
How is this still a thing? How can any right thinking person believe that changing yourself to be more pleasing to your bully is any sort of “revenge”, and that it’s anything less than giving the bully exactly what they want? Wow, just …wow.
This is an old one, fall sunder blaming the victim. Try putting black, Asian, or Jewish in that just don’t be _______, and you will get A.a lot more whoop ass, B. support from people who literally think that same moronic crap for everyone. Yes, just be “less black” and you won’t get tormented by bigots.
God the whole history of human kind, how to live and be and exists without upsetting people who wish you didn’t. The great thinker K has spoken: Sage advice this: “If you can’t beat em, join em.”
Why does this response not surprise me. She lives in la la body land. (Till you’re going on 37 hun, then, the next group of enviables will take your place, same song, same dance different day.) And she is backed up in this view wholeheartedly by a society screaming: No you’re right, you should just let it go and be thin. It will be so much better for you (me) you’ll be soo much healthier ( and if your not, so what) you’ll really have a better life and find all the good things in life falling in your lap (when there is less of you.)
Has there ever been less sincere comment in life than this one: “You owe it to yourself.” Anyone who says this is either selling you a literal product with a bill, or a bill of goods period. On a social translation site it might come out as… Please stop doing, being, feeling, looking, acting, whatever way you are, you are making me uncomfortable. This is the royal Me were talking here too. Look them deeply into there eyes, work up the most sincere expression you can, reach out with your hand, touch them gently on the arm, lean in and say.
“Oh go sniff farts!”
On being “less black,” I was shocked to discover that there are skin-lightening products, and also, that they sell like hotcakes in India.
I just have no words for this.
As for “revenge makeovers,” I suppose the revenge comes in when you show up looking all glamorous and exactly as the bullies said they wanted you to be, and then, once they are pleased with the result, you say, “Too bad. You can’t have this, because you’re a jerk.”
Y’all, save yourselves a lot of time, trouble, money, and energy that could be spent on actually improving your life, and the lives of others around you. Jump straight to, “You can’t have this, because you’re a jerk.” They may respond with, “What are you talking about? I don’t even WANT that,” but does that even matter?
Ever since I took up the dating mantra, “Anyone who doesn’t want me, can’t have me,” I have felt a whole lot less stressed about romance, and more free. In fact, I’m a lot happier single than I ever would be with someone who doesn’t want me just the way I am.
It’s one thing to date someone who encourages me to improve myself with notions such as “If you’re interested in X subject, why don’t you go ahead and sign up for a class?” or “If that habit bothers you, here are some ideas on how to break that habit.” Or even, “If you want to be stronger, try strength training. If you want more stamina, try cardio.” It’s quite another to date someone who belittles me, and tells me that I’m not good enough, either physically or personality-wise.
Thin skin whiteners and hair straighteners have been in vogue a long time. In the African American community there is still the pressure to be “less black. and lighter skin is usually seen as better, more attractive. We have a long way to go yet.
The best revenge is to be happy with who you are and not care what hateful people think. Unfortunately, Khloe Kardashian has been bullied mercilessly regarding her body, and has internalized those messages.