Who Are the Real Women

It seems that every day I see something about “real women” Whether it’s an article calling women who aren’t models “real women,” or stores that sell clothes for fat people advertising that their clothes are for “real women”, or ads for plus-size dating sites indicating that they will help men find “real women”, or shirts and Facebook memes that say “real women have curves” or some such thing.

I don’t know about you, but what I want is a world where we accept and celebrate the diversity of bodies, not a world where my body is seen as better than someone else’s. I have no interest in trying to wield the idea of being a “real woman” as a weapon. (Nor do I ever feel like I know better than other women what gender they are, as if there should be some kind of crotch and chromosome check and then some women get to declare that others are “real woman” or not.)

So today I thought I’d create a helpful flowchart to help people figure out who is a real woman and who isn’t:

Real Woman Flowchart

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16 thoughts on “Who Are the Real Women

  1. I might even add a “maybe” or “I don’t know” to the “Is this woman Trans?” because it’s hard to know sometimes and really, it’s about how someone identifies as “herself”. Great image!

  2. Further on this:


    1. Do I self-identify as a woman?
    2. Am I doing a thing?
    3. Then the thing I am doing is either exclusively or non-exclusively feminine.

  3. Whenever someone mentions the term “real women”, I’m tempted to ask, “you mean, as opposed to fake women, right?”.

    However, the flowchart removes all confusion in this respect. Thank you.

  4. Is this person imaginary? Yes. This person is not a woman.

    Seriously, what does “real” woman mean? In my mind, it means “a woman who is not a figment of my imagination.”

    Also, can we please do away with the phrase “Skinny bitches”? I HATE!!!!! that phrase. I especially hate it when used in conjunction with “real women.”

    That song, “All About That Base,” gets me happy, and then slaps me with “skinny bitches,” and I can’t stand it, now. Ugh.

    Women are women are people are humans, and that’s all that really matters. Judge people on their behavior, not their size.

    1. This is that segment in its entirety, though:

      ““Go ahead and tell them skinny bitches that – No I’m just playing. I know you think you’re fat / But I’m here to tell ya / Every inch of you is perfect from the bottom to the top”.”

      Kind of puts a different spin on the phrase.

      1. Yeah, but what about the “skinny bitches” who DON’T think they’re fat, and don’t need reassuring that every inch of them is perfect from the bottom to the top, but instead want to be reassured that they are not “bitches,” just because they are thin? Some naturally thin women, or women who have worked hard to become thin, or women who have suffered some debilitating disease and had thinness thrust upon them, are just as sweet as can be, but still get called “bitches,” because of their appearance. It’s not right.

        Also, women are not dogs.

        1. I may be giving her too much credit, but I thought her point was that she doesn’t think they’re “bitches,” either. Hence the phrase, “just playing.”

          I’ve read some commentary about the song which seems to expect it to cover all the points you mention, and several more. But I think that may be expecting too much from a three-minute pop ditty.

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