Mama Told Me Not To Run

Kelrick and I at the finish line with our hard won medals.
Kelrick and I at the finish line of the 2013 Seattle Marathon with our hard won medals.  You can tell I’m tired because my usual third position stance is hella sloppy!

So I’ve decided to do another marathon, specifically the LA marathon in 2015. The world’s best best friend ever, Kelrick, has agreed to do it with me again.  There are a lot of reasons that Team Never Again has decided to become team One More Time but that’s another blog post. For now what I know for sure is that last time I focused on just finishing and not getting injured.   This time I’ll be focusing a bit more on speed, and run/walking instead of walking.  I’m thinking about making Sundays “marathon update day” on the blog, we’ll see how it goes.  If you have a preference (anywhere from “I love marathon updates, totes do it!”  to “I don’t care about your marathon bullshit”) please feel free to leave it in the comments.

Before someone gets confused, this is not about the good fatty bad fatty dichotomy, and the good fatty bad fatty dichotomy needs to die.  My choice to do a marathon is an expression of my rights to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness (or perhaps more honestly the pursuit of medals), it’s not a justification for those rights. Absolutely no justification is necessary because our civil rights aren’t size, or health, or healthy habit dependent by any definition (and let’s be clear as well that this is about me wanting a challenge, not about health).  It would be no more or less laudable if I chose to do the LA marathon, or watch a marathon of every Star Trek episode that ever aired, or knit a tree cozy out of plarn.

When Kel, who is both my Best Friend and, for all intents and purposes, my adopted brother told our mom that we’d decided to do another marathon, she sent the following e-mail to both of us:

Subject:  Where have I failed you as a parent?

I thought I raised you better than that – Woe is me, to have failed so miserably………………

Have I not always taught you “No pain, YEAH!” Another marathon, REALLY?

Love you both and will be here for you always

My mom is awesome and hilarious and with Mother’s Day coming up I want to take this chance to thank her publicly for all of the support she’s given and continues to give me.  One of the things I do in my training is ritual around the music that I listen to.  I always listen to the same songs at the beginning, middle and end of each training session.  In honor of my mom, I’m beginning each session for this marathon with “Mama Told Me Not To Come.” And because I enjoy messing with song lyrics, I’ve re-written the lyrics to be a bit more relevant to the marathon experience.  (Of course any blog readers who are also singers and who feel inspired are very welcome to make a video or audio track and put it in the comments!) Either way, consider wishing me luck as I once again hit the streets with a marathon finish line looming!

Got some bodyglide on your hoo hoo?
Bib pinned to your T?
What’s all these crazy questions they’re askin’ me?
This is the earliest wake up that could ever be
Glad the sun’s not up ’cause I don’t wanna see

Mama told me not to run
Mama told me not to run
“That ain’t the way to have fun, no”

Drank way too much water, now I really have to pee
Twenty minute wait for a port-o-potty at mile three
And that aid station at mile ten, is all out of Gatorade
Less than halfway through, and it’s 90 in the shade

Mama told me not to run
Mama told me not to run
“That ain’t the way to have fun, hon”
“That ain’t the way to have fun, hon”

Elites already finished, they just run so frickin’ fast
I can’t believe there’s more hills, this is so kicking my ass
Finish line seems so far, I’m hungry, tired and sore
Once this race is over – I don’t wanna run no more

Mama told me not to run
Mama told me not to run
She said, “That ain’t the way to have fun, hon”
“That ain’t the way to have fun, no”

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19 thoughts on “Mama Told Me Not To Run

  1. I admire you and your pursuit of medals. Please do make Sundays Marathon Update days,but updates any other days are fine as well. Love to your Mama, as well.

  2. Love marathon updates! You don’t need to justify your love of exercise and movement. The title of your blog screams that: I’m fat and I move! Everyone is entitled to the joy of challenging yourself to do something others can’t do (or won’t do). Love the pick, btw. You look empowered!

  3. Hell to the no am I ever doing a marathon unless being chased by zombies…my marathons consist of far too long retail work days where I lug boxes heavier Han approved by the ortho Dr who treats my arthritis and stand on my feet and run around concrete floors for triple the hours a week approved by the ortho Dr who repaired the ruptured tendons in my ankle six years ago. More power to YOU Regan for running! Go for those medals lady!!!

    1. Employers frequently do that, make you work beyond your means or beyond a medical note. Sorry for your troubles.

  4. You always say (and rightly so), that this blog is YOUR space. So write about things YOU WANT to write about. If it is your marathon, then it is your marathon. As long as I don’t have to RUN that effing thing all is well 😉

    1. I agree with this thought! Never minded the updates the last time. Always great to hear of the hurdles you face and overcome! This is your blog, you do as you see fit!

  5. I love your song, your enthusiasm, your never ending positive energy. And again I loved your song. Cheers to your Mother and to you! Would love to hear about your Marathons, I cannot run, knee/leg problems but live vicariously through you! Seriously best of luck on your success and your positive, cheery outlook is a blessing.

  6. Yes! More marathon updates! You write with such humor, grace, and charm about something I will never, ever in a million years – not even while being chased by zombies – do that I get to live vicariously through your experience.

    Also, happiest of Mother’s Days to your awesome mom!

    Oh, and LOVE the filk of Mama Told Me Not To Come. I have loved that song as long as I can remember, and I enjoy the hell out of a good filk.

    BTW, I don’t know why it is, but for about the past month every time I try to sign on to get further comments in my email box, it doesn’t happen. Is there anything I can do on my end? I keep clicking the box and nothing happens. : (

  7. I’m sure your mom tried….

    Anyway, I’ll chip in with a favorite girl-power song: My Story Is Not Done by Seanan McGuire from her album, Wicked Girls.

    My Story Is Not Done

    I was born into a fairy tale,
    Cinderella’s dust-bin daughter.
    Seemed like I was meant to fail,
    Turning wine back into water,

    Mama’s slippers shattered when
    She turned around to run,
    But I never thought that mattered and
    My story is not done.

    So I told her, mama, make my bed,
    Make it up both long and narrow,
    Tell the cynics that I’m dead,
    Let me hitchhike through the yarrow,

    Ghost-girl on the median,
    With a thumb cocked to the sun,
    But I’d rather be the banshee and
    My story is not done.

    It’s not done until it’s told,
    It’s not told until it’s written,
    If I’m brave and if I’m bold,
    I can challenge what’s forbidden,
    For nobody gets to tell me
    That I’ll never be the one.
    When they ask you what befell me,
    Say my story is not done.

    Left my family in a storybook;
    Tell my sisters that I’m sorry.
    I never dared a backwards look,
    On the path to purgatory,

    And I can’t say that I’m sorry for
    The things I’ve left undone.
    I’ve been on the road to glory, for
    My story is not done.

    I have wandered through the carnival,
    Seen the secret shadows dancing,
    Counted feathers where they’d fall,
    Taken chances not worth chancing,

    I have counted out my jackdaws and
    My magpies one by one,
    I have always been an outlaw, and
    My story is not done.

    It’s not done until it’s told,
    It’s not told until it’s written,
    If I’m brave and if I’m bold,
    I can challenge what’s forbidden,
    For nobody gets to tell me
    That I’ll never be the one.
    When they ask you what befell me,
    Say my story is not done.

    So come on all you fox-girls and you ghost-girls
    And you pretty pirates,
    Come on all you wild girls and you lost girls
    And you shrinking violets,
    Come and pay the piper, say you’ll leave their war unwon.
    It’s only words on paper, and your story is not done.

    I was born into a fairy tale,
    Never tried to find Prince Charming.
    Had a different ship to sail,
    Didn’t find the waves alarming,

    For nobody gets to tell me
    If I’ve lost of if I’ve won.
    When they ask you what befell me,
    Say my story is not done.

  8. I enjoy reading your blog, on any topic. Updates or anything is good. If you do end up knitting the plarn tree cozy, please post pictures.

  9. How could anyone NOT care about your marathon bullshit? I loathe marathons, have no intention of ever running, let alone in a marathon and yet here you are making even that interesting. There’s something so delicious about it that every time you mention it I smile.

  10. Can I just say how much I admire you for, well, everything? But this time specifically about marathons and your dedication to doing them when you decide its something you want to do. It’s not something I would ever do (both because I hate running and walking for more than an hour or two at a time can leave me in crippling pain if I’m not careful), but I loved reading about the last one and I’m looking forward to reading about this one too.

  11. Thank you, to the Most Awesome Daughter, EVER! Everyday I tell people how wonderful you are, today, I’m telling you.
    But…….as far as marathons go………….That ain’t no way to have fun, hon.

  12. This is hysterical/amazing!! Your mama seems to be a fine lady.

    As long as you don’t expect us all to want (or be able) to do marathons, skinny or fat or anywhere in between, then I look forward to reading about your journey 😀

    Sending good juju your way for success!!

  13. Love hearing about the marathon! I love (maybe??) challenges and marathons are uber challenges. It’s inspiring and I wish you the best of luck.
    Sunday marathon updates sound great!

  14. Point #1: Your mom is awesome. I laughed out loud at her email.
    Point #2: This is your blog, you do what YOU think is cool.
    Point #3: If Point #2 is a given but you’re still on the fence, I as a reader would enjoy reading about your marathon prep. This may be because I’m currently elevating a sprained ankle and sulking about not being able to work out, and thus I want to read vicariously about your adventures, but I don’t think so. You remind me of how much fun it is to move.

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