When I first approached Hanne Blank about being interviewed for an article I was doing for Ms. Fit Magazine on “fat sex” her response was “More than happy to talk about fat sex, or, as I like to call it, sex.” Which re-confirmed two things for me. One, that Hanne is awesome on a number of levels and two, that often things are “different” for fat people only because we are ignored and oppressed by our culture. Sex can definitely be one of those things.
An excerpt from the article:
In 2010, blogger Maura Kelly had a piece published on the Marie Claire blog to discuss whether or not fat people should be allowed to show affection in public. Kelly said:
I think I’d be grossed out if I had to watch two characters with rolls and rolls of fat kissing each other…because I’d be grossed out if I had to watch them doing anything. To be brutally honest, even in real life, I find it aesthetically displeasing to watch a very, very fat person simply walk across a room—just like I’d find it distressing if I saw a very drunk person stumbling across a bar or a heroin addict slumping in a chair.
She followed it up by saying “don’t go getting the wrong impression: I have a few friends who could be called plump. I’m not some size-ist jerk.”
See, some of her best friends are fat—everything is OK. The eagerness of this blogger, and other sizeist jerks, to share their bigotry out loud affects the ability of women of all sizes to take pleasure in sex, influencing us to think that we don’t deserve pleasure, or even that we don’t have the right to ask for what we want, whether it’s a sexual position or a condom. To delve further into this I spoke with three women who literally wrote the book on fat sex…
Regardless, I think it’s important to remember that when we are treated differently as fat people, it’s often not our fat, but our culture that’s the cause.
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