Jeanette DePatie’s blog about games to help you maintain sanity point during HBOs “Weight of the Nation” reminded me that humor is a part of my activism. Anybody who knows me knows that I deal with almost everything in my life with humor Yes there is a war on people who look like me, and yes it’s horrible, and yes I am actively fighting back, but I can’t be intense and pissed all the time or I become someone nobody wants to be around, let alone listen to, and more importantly I become somebody who I don’t want to be around.
In my previous life as a business consultant I taught classes about Administrative Infrastructure to small business owners. Trust me when I tell you that entrepreneurs would rather shave their head with a cheese grater while chewing on tinfoil than listen to a talk about business process and procedures. So I used humor to keep people interested. People used to tell me that I should do stand-up. So I did, and it’s been really fun. (Here’s an only slightly humiliating video of my second open mic – it’s become better with time.)
Now when I do open mics I often work Size Acceptance into my comedy, I make a point that I’m not going to do self-deprecating fat jokes, I read my hate mail and the responses etc. People often come up to me afterwards and have conversations with me about SA/HAES. I add humor to my talks as well – I find that some humor lowers people defenses and helps them to be able to hear the message. It also makes it more impactful when the speaker is serious (in a way that wouldn’t work if they spent the entire talk serious and intense.) I’m not saying that everybody needs to do this, but it works for me.
By the same token everyone doesn’t have to use humor to deal with the daily dose to jackassery that comes at us as fat people, but for many of us (including me) it’s an important coping strategy. I will absolutely not make self-deprecating jokes – that’s not for me. But monetize my hatemail? Absolutely. Play a “Weight of the Nation” drinking game? You betcha. Watch 41 inspirational speeches in two minutes? Hell to the yeah!
The world is unbelievably fucked up when it comes to weight and size right now. It’s not our fault but it becomes our problem and if we use some humor to get through the day then I say screw ’em if they can’t take a joke!
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Dances With Fat 
It is SO frickin’ cool to hear about activists who still maintain their senses of humour. ^_^ Most seems -constantly- on the lookout for something to get angry about, so it’s nice to find folks who still nurture that humorous side of themselves. *beams*
As a big girl and burgeoning bellydancer, I wanted my first real performance piece ever to address my size, but in a comical, positive way. So when I heard Audrey Lavine’s rendition of “Egyptian Ella,” I -knew- I’d found my piece. ^_^. The whole song is about a fat bellydancer- who turns out to be the hit of the town BECAUSE of her curves! 😀 Unfortunately she does put one derogatory fat joke in there, but instead of poking fun at myself, I just incorporated a glance to the audience that makes it a point to say “and this is NOT approved.” Turns out that piece was kinda the hit of the hafla, and ended up getting everyone off their feet & more relaxed w/the whole show at large. ^_^ Frankly, I think that came from addressing the proverbial “elephant in the room,” and made me more comfortable with the audience, as well as vice versa. 🙂
I think there’s a lot to be said for teaching through humor. If we’re confident, smart about what we do, thoughtful, warm and can be more comfortable w/ourselves, I think in the end that speaks volumes. Humor may not always be the answer, but I think it makes a great complement to the more serious lessons, and shows folks that fat people can be happy people & comfortable in their own skins, too. 🙂 ♥
Ylluria~ I LOVE that story about your belly dance, and I want to hear that song now! Congrats on your first performance =) I am a big belly dancer too, and when I used to perform with a troupe, the most gratifying thing ever was when a woman would approach me after the show and tell me I had inspired her to dance because she never thought she could, being big. Still chokes me up to think of it. And as I’m sure you know, in the place and time and culture when belly dance was first developing, big hips and bellies and round bodies in general were treasured and exalted. We are classically shaped! Thank you for sharing your story =)
Loved your stand up! I thought I had it bad with my name, and my middle name is an old Swiss family name spelled Beugger, pronounced boy-ger, but you know what kids did with that…bugger! LOL! After the age of 5, no one ever knew my middle name and all would guess to try to find out, LOL! Of course as an adult, they can all bite, it’s a good family name and I’m proud of it. Really enjoyed your stick!
I’m having a hard time finding the funny. And yeah, I’m that intense serious person that people don’t necessarily like. I’m trying really hard to be more humorous though. Dealing with bipolar and the subsequent depression has made that twice as hard and when I found out that humorlessness may be a symptom of my thyroid disease? Well.. feels like an uphill battle. Any tips on finding the humor in bad situations or not feeling like having to be the activist police all of the time?
Watched your open mic video. You are so funny. Love your name, raging whore (sp). Even my husband stopped what he was doing to watch you. I am looking forward to your book. I use humor and sarcasim in my book and talks too. You are great!!! So talented.
Having been raised on a steady diet of Gilbert&Sullivan, PG Wodehouse, Monty Python’s Flying Circus, and Get Smart, it’s damn rare to find a situation where I cannot find the funny.
Of course, I was also raised on a steady diet of George Bernard Shaw, so it’s rare to find a situation where I cannot equally come up with a longwinded furious diatribe.
I aim for the funny more often than not… but Shavian fury has been known to win out.
Yes, Ragen~ humor is so important in life, activism, everything! I admire you and am so down with your approach. Can’t wait ’til you’re here in Cali!
Holy shit – your maiden last name is Hoar? My married last name is Trull. (Look that word up when you have a moment.) *has a good laugh*