I get e-mails from readers all the time who are frustrated with things at work. Sometimes it’s things like weight loss contests or signs around the office promoting weight loss.  Sometimes it’s more sinister – like people being required to participate in Weight Watchers in order to keep their benefits or to avoid having to pay more for benefits.

Approaching this is tricky.  There can be office politics involved, or someone may fear for their job.  Even if someone is willing to go in guns a blazing that may not be the best tactic.  It’s important to remember that when you want a specific response, the way that you communicate your request is often the determining factor in whether or not your audience is receptive, and thus whether or not you get what you want.

I’m about to give you a bunch of ideas, please understand that some will be a great idea for one workplace and a horrible idea for another workplace. Know who you are dealing with.  How do they like to be communicated with?  Are they open to employee suggestions or do they get defensive?

Next, get your facts straight.  Gather research that supports your case and make sure you understand it.  There is a research bank in the documents for the Rolls Not Trolls group, and Big Liberty has a great list on her website.

You can always go the direct route.  Send the research and ask why the company is still pushing weight loss.

When you are told that you have to lose weight to get benefits or attend Weight Watchers, let them know that it’s against your Health at Every Size practice.  If you have a HAES-friendly doctor, try to get a doctor’s note.

Consider using a questioning technique.  For example, send a study or an article about the issues with BMI as a health measure attached to an e-mail that says “I found this research about BMI that seems to disagree with the way that our company uses BMI to measure health.  Can you help me make sense of it?”

or

“I found this research that shows that more than 95% of people who do Weight Watchers end up gaining their weight back and often they gain back more.  I’m sorry for my confusion, I must be missing something here.  Can you help me understand the company’s decision to go with Weight Watchers?”

Sometimes assumptive questioning works, but be careful or it can come off as bitchy:

“A friend of mine was telling me that there isn’t a single study that shows that weight loss works for more than a small fraction of people.  I told her that can’t be true since our company health program is based on weight loss.  Could you please give me the studies that our program is based on so that I can help educate her?”

“I understand that the company has created an initiative whose goal is for me to lose weight. I’d like to study up, when you have a minute can you send me the research that this program is based on?”

You can also become public about your Health at Every Size practice and talk about it like other people talk about their diets.

Finally, you can ask your HR to bring in Health at Every Size Speakers to do lunch and learns, presentations etc.  I got to speak at Google and Apple because of employees who asked for these kinds of talks.

Speaking of me, I want to tell y’all something cool.  A lot of people don’t know that I retired from a career as a business operations consultant to do this work.  One of my goals has been to combine these things to help companies make sure that they are treating their employees and their customers of size well.  We’ve been working on a more professional website for me and now it’s done:  www.SizedForSuccess.com  Woo Hoo!

Back to the subject at hand –  work can be tricky.  However you decide to approach this, my basic suggestions are:  Take office politics into account, understand the risks, get your facts straight, craft a message that’s likely to cause people to want to engage with you (and not likely to make them defensive or pissed), and be ready to help them figure out how to create the solution that you’re looking for.

Online Meet-up

By reader request, I’m going to try something new.  On Wednesday the 11th at 8:30 Central time we are having an online meet-up.  This will be an ask me anything meet-up where you can ask me questions and get and give feedback yourself.  This is free for voluntary subscribers (see below) and just $5 for everyone else.  If this works we’ll be doing them a couple times a month with different themes. Click here to sign up  Once you’re signed up I’ll get you all the details. Questions?  E-mail me at ragen at danceswithfat dot org!

This blog is supported by its readers rather than corporate ads.  If you feel that you get value out of the blog, can afford it, and want to support my work and activism, please consider a paid subscription or a one-time contribution.  The regular e-mail subscription (available at the top right hand side of this page) is still completely free.   Thanks for reading! ~Ragen

I’ve been thinking a lot about bullying today.  I was reflecting on how Michelle Obama is simultaneously leading a National anti-bullying effort and a National war on childhood obesity, how she doesn’t see any conflict between those two things, and how that’s fucked up.

Just like it’s a problem that prescribe for fat people what we diagnose in thin people, it’s a problem that we treat (and encourage others to treat)  fat people the same way that we tell them they must not treat anyone else.

We’ve talked before about how fat people are oppressed, but people often tell me that the treatment of fat people doesn’t constitute bullying so let’s break it on down.  I went to wikipedia…

Bullying is a form of aggressive behavior manifested by the use of force or coercion to affect others, particularly when the behavior is habitual and involves an imbalance of power.

So, for example, when someone’s employer forces them to go to Weight Watchers in order to keep their benefits.  Or when the government launches a war against citizens of a specific size.  Or when a forum has a “fat hate” day and sends members to this blog to leave hundreds of comments from calling me names to threatening my life. Or when supposed “healthcare” organizations create billboards meant to shame people for their size.

Bullying ranges from simple one-on-one bullying to more complex bullying in which the bully may have one or more ‘lieutenants’ who may seem to be willing to assist the primary bully in his bullying activities.

So when the government enlists schools, parents, television networks, doctors, the diet and beauty industries  and anyone else they can get onboard, to give everyone the constant message that the goal is to eradicate people who look like me whether we want to be eradicated or not.  Or when people are encouraged to police other people’s body size, eating habits etc.

“But but but it’s for your own good” they say. “It’s not bullying if it’s for your own good, and besides you can just get thin.  It’s not bullying because we’ll stop once you do what we think you should”.

There’s been a lot of focus on LGBTQ kids and I think that’s a good thing. As a queer fat woman I’ve noticed some parallels between the bullying of queer people and the bulling of fat people.

Many people justify bullying people who are LGBTQ by arguing that being queer is morally wrong and that it’s an “unhealthy” lifestyle, and that we could just be straight or just fit our socially constructed gender role and biological sex if we wanted to.

Of course queer people assert that we are the best witnesses to our experience so if we say that this is who we are, then people should damn well take our word for it since, as they are not us, they do not know better than us about us.

As a bisexual woman I, somewhat unbelievably, often face bullying from other queer people who claim that there is no such thing as bisexuality and that I need to “pick one”.  I find it shocking that people who are fighting to be considered the best witnesses to their experience turn around and do the Exact. Same. Thing. to other people, but it happens more often than you might think.  (I once went out on a date with a woman who started in on this diatribe – you’ll have to buy me a drink to hear to whole story of the date, but I explained it to her in small words and she said “Now I’m feeling ashamed” to which I replied “that is because your behavior is shameful”.  There was not a second date.)  At any rate, I am the best witness to my experience and so if I say that this is who I am, people should damn well take my word for it since, as they are not me, they do not know better than me about me.

When it comes to fat people, the belief behind the bullying is that being fat is morally wrong, that it’s an “unhealthy” lifestyle, and that people can stop being fat if they want, and so they should.

As a fat person I assert that I am the best witness to my own experience so if I say that this is who I am, then people should damn well take my word for it, as they are not me, they do not know better about me.

Because of these arguments, the controversy incorrectly falls on whether or not people can stop being queer or fat.  Based on the research there is almost no chance for queer people to stop being queer or for fat people to stop being fat.  But that’s not why queer people and fat people (or any people) shouldn’t be bullied.

People shouldn’t be bullied because they don’t have any obligation to do what someone else thinks is morally right.  People who think it’s not right to be fat and people who think it’s not right to be queer are no more damaged by fat people and queer people living their lives than people who don’t believe that eating pork is morally right are damaged when someone else eats bacon. Which is to say – not at all. Nobody is forcing them to eat bacon, but they don’t get to eradicate bacon for everyone else because of their moral beliefs.

People don’t have an obligation to do what someone else thinks is best for their health.  People don’t have an obligation to do what THEY think is best for their health.  The health of people who exercise regularly is not effected by people who choose not to exercise. The health of people who think that a raw food diet is the healthiest choice is not affected by those who think that paleo is the way to go.  Even if fat is unhealthy, it does not affect the health of others, and anyone wishing to make a “won’t somebody think of the tax dollars” argument may mosey over here.

What is happening to fat people in this culture is bullying, period.  It does not matter if people think it’s for our own good, if they think that we could be thin, or if they think that we will be healthier if we do what they think we should.  Our bodies are uniquely ours and trying to force or coerce us into changing our bodies is bullying and it’s plain wrong. Any anti-bullying campaign that does not include bullying based on body size is making a major mistake.

This blog is supported by its readers rather than corporate ads.  If you feel that you get value out of the blog, can afford it, and want to support my work and activism, please consider a paid subscription or a one-time contribution.  The regular e-mail subscription (available at the top right hand side of this page) is still completely free.   Thanks for reading! ~Ragen

I went to great lengths to watch the movie Big Miracle in the theater for three reasons.  First, because I love an underdog story, second because I have a massive girl crush on Drew Barrymore, but mainly because of an exchange I saw in the trailer.  The male lead is talking to Drew’s character (I can call her Drew, we’re that close…) and he says “There’s nothing you can do”.  She responds “there’s always something that you can do.”

This has a double meaning for me.

First, about activism.  Pretty much every day, some of my readers send me things that are in the news. Usually, it’s not good news.  Don’t get me wrong, it’s awesome that y’all send this stuff and I really appreciate it because I don’t always have time to keep up with current events, so please keep sending stuff.  But some mornings I wake up to 50 or 100 e-mails of depressing things, and I have a moment of feeling like progress is impossible.

Of course that’s not true, we are making tons of progress, but when I feel down about things I remember that there’s always something I can do.  I can send an e-mail, make a phone call, write a blog, post something to Facebook, start a project – you know, whatever.   Seriously, activism isn’t always judged by the effect on the intended goal or target – sometimes it’s about how it affects us. In a world where fat hatred runs rampant, just standing up for ourselves and our friends is a major deal.  I think the first step to getting civil rights is realizing that you deserve them.  The next step is demanding them again and again.  In this culture, standing up for ourselves is an act of revolution.

The other side of this is about Health at Every Size itself.  I’ve seen a lot of articles recently where people (sometimes I think purposefully) miscontstrue the concept of HAES.  One article suggested that HAES states that “everybody can be healthy at 600 pounds”.  HAES isn’t about saying at what size somebody can or can’t be healthy, it’s about separating health and size, and being clear that bodies of all sizes can engage in healthy behaviors.

So no matter what someone weighs, no matter what their circumstances are, they can still make some healthy choices – if you want to be healthier, there is always something that you can do.  And every little bit helps.  I think that one of the great travesties of the weight=health paradigm is the lie we are sold that healthy habits won’t make us healthier unless they also make us thin.  So, having been lied to by the people trying to sell us skinny and the people who believe whatever the people who try to sell us skinny say, fat people give up on healthy habits because they don’t make us thinner, when the truth is that they do make us healthier.  Nobody makes any money if the word gets out that 30 total minutes of moderate movement (walking, dancing in your livingroom etc.) mitigates most of the health issues that are correlated with excess weight.  Meanwhile the diet industry and the people who get their information from them sit by while our health suffers because of a lie, and suffers more when we buy and use their products.

But we don’t have to sit by and let this happen to us.  There is always something we can do to stick up for ourselves, and there is always something that we can do for our bodies (drink a glass of water, eat some broccoli, eat your lunch without guilt, spend a full minute thanking your body for the things it does for you, walk around the house, stretch in your chair whatever).  You are the only person who is in charge of how you feel about your body and what you do with your unique body in your unique situation.  You can listen to other people, you can accept their opinions about you and what you should do, you can be an activist or not, but at the end of the day, you are the only one in charge, you are the boss of your underpants,  and there is always something you can do.

This blog is supported by its readers rather than corporate ads.  If you feel that you get value out of the blog, can afford it, and want to support my work and activism, please consider a paid subscription or a one-time contribution.  The regular e-mail subscription (available at the top right hand side of this page) is still completely free.   Thanks for reading! ~Ragen

There is an organization called “Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine”.  Using their naming style, I’m going to start a company called “Ragen Chastain Astrophysics Genius” because, based on the evidence, I know exactly as much about astrophysics as these people do about responsible medicine. Which is to say – precious little.

Interestingly, you don’t need to be a physician to be a member of the Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine.  You could be a veterinarian, a self-declared healthcare professional, or just someone willing to donate $20.  Even better – membership doesn’t seem to require any understanding of, or commitment to, responsible medicine.  How else can you explain creating an ad [Trigger warning – this ad is a fat shaming horrible idea, if you don’t want to give them traffic I’ll explain the ad below] that promotes veganism by shaming fat people, then shames vegans, with no evidentiary basis for the long-term efficacy of any of it.

In the ad, two thin men sit in aisle seats on a plane.  A large man boards the plane and decides to take the window seat by stepping across the seated man, smashing him in the face with his stomach (I’ve been on 16 planes in the last month and I’ve NEVER seen this happen but why concern yourself with reality when you are busy shaming fatties.)  Just as the other man is about to have to deal with the sheer, unadulterated horror (sarcasm meter 10 out of 10) of sitting next to another human being on a plane who happens to be fat, the seated man explains that he paid an extra $10 to sit next to a vegan. An announcer explains this option as his vegan seatmate enters the frame.  Of course it’s not just any vegan – it’s a hot blonde vegan.  (Because, as PETA has already taught us, going vegan gives you huge boobs).  But then they throw in a negative stereotype of vegans, she starts listing off “benefits” of veganism in an annoying voice (some of which I’m pretty sure are not supported by good research) and the announcer says that for another $10 you can NOT sit next to a vegan – although one assumes that your new seat partner will be guaranteed to be thin.

First of all, I am not in any way intending to cast aspersions on vegans.  Eat whatever you choose, I totally support you.

But let’s talk about PCRM a little more:

According to their website, “The PCRM family includes physicians, healthcare professionals, veterinarians, and compassionate laypersons, all of whom support our mission to:

• Advocate for ethical research
• End cruelty to animals in labs and education
• Promote life-saving nutrition policies and practices”

One of the headlines on their homepage proudly declares “Victory for Ferrets”.  I’m all for happy ferrets but how can a group want to end cruelty to animals and simultaneously create cruelty to people?

What do they have to say for themselves?

The intention behind PCRM’s most recent ad, directed toward American Airlines, was to highlight a particularly positive benefit of the vegan diet – weight management. The video was not intended to offend those who are overweight.

First, responsible medicine is based on evidence, and there is no evidence that becoming a vegan will lead to long term weight loss.  There are fat vegans (and, I have been told, they are often treated very poorly by the vegan community).

But the question that I’m dying to ask is this:  What would the ad have looked like if they HAD intended to offend overweight people? And how can a bunch of people who are willing to stick up for the rights of ferrets not understand that this ad is offensive to fat people?  It strains credulity at best.

Credulity is strained to the breaking point when one realizes that PCRM was responsible for the fat shaming billboards showing fat stomachs and thighs for which they, almost inexplicably, blamed cheese; and for which they’ve already been roundly criticized.  At this point I think it’s safe to say that either they don’t care about shaming fat people, or they’re morons.  Either way, it’s time to fix the problem. People who are actually proponents of Responsible Medicine suggest evidence-based health interventions that don’t shame anyone.

Activism Opportunity

E-mail PCRM at membership@pcrm.org.  You could suggest that they look into the research around negative implications of fat shaming, you could tell them how being shamed makes you feel and if it induces you personally to want to treat your body well, and you could ask them to please start practicing actual Responsible Medicine.  Whatever you decide to write, I would personally suggest that you not just point out the problem, but offer solutions (like maybe focusing on evidence based health interventions that don’t shame anyone?), and let them know if you’re open to further dialog on the subject.

This blog is supported by its readers rather than corporate ads.  If you feel that you get value out of the blog, can afford it, and want to support my work and activism, please consider a paid subscription or a one-time contribution.  The regular e-mail subscription (available at the top right hand side of this page) is still completely free.   Thanks for reading! ~Ragen