I went to great lengths to watch the movie Big Miracle in the theater for three reasons. First, because I love an underdog story, second because I have a massive girl crush on Drew Barrymore, but mainly because of an exchange I saw in the trailer. The male lead is talking to Drew’s character (I can call her Drew, we’re that close…) and he says “There’s nothing you can do”. She responds “there’s always something that you can do.”
This has a double meaning for me.
First, about activism. Pretty much every day, some of my readers send me things that are in the news. Usually, it’s not good news. Don’t get me wrong, it’s awesome that y’all send this stuff and I really appreciate it because I don’t always have time to keep up with current events, so please keep sending stuff. But some mornings I wake up to 50 or 100 e-mails of depressing things, and I have a moment of feeling like progress is impossible.
Of course that’s not true, we are making tons of progress, but when I feel down about things I remember that there’s always something I can do. I can send an e-mail, make a phone call, write a blog, post something to Facebook, start a project – you know, whatever. Seriously, activism isn’t always judged by the effect on the intended goal or target – sometimes it’s about how it affects us. In a world where fat hatred runs rampant, just standing up for ourselves and our friends is a major deal. I think the first step to getting civil rights is realizing that you deserve them. The next step is demanding them again and again. In this culture, standing up for ourselves is an act of revolution.
The other side of this is about Health at Every Size itself. I’ve seen a lot of articles recently where people (sometimes I think purposefully) miscontstrue the concept of HAES. One article suggested that HAES states that “everybody can be healthy at 600 pounds”. HAES isn’t about saying at what size somebody can or can’t be healthy, it’s about separating health and size, and being clear that bodies of all sizes can engage in healthy behaviors.
So no matter what someone weighs, no matter what their circumstances are, they can still make some healthy choices – if you want to be healthier, there is always something that you can do. And every little bit helps. I think that one of the great travesties of the weight=health paradigm is the lie we are sold that healthy habits won’t make us healthier unless they also make us thin. So, having been lied to by the people trying to sell us skinny and the people who believe whatever the people who try to sell us skinny say, fat people give up on healthy habits because they don’t make us thinner, when the truth is that they do make us healthier. Nobody makes any money if the word gets out that 30 total minutes of moderate movement (walking, dancing in your livingroom etc.) mitigates most of the health issues that are correlated with excess weight. Meanwhile the diet industry and the people who get their information from them sit by while our health suffers because of a lie, and suffers more when we buy and use their products.
But we don’t have to sit by and let this happen to us. There is always something we can do to stick up for ourselves, and there is always something that we can do for our bodies (drink a glass of water, eat some broccoli, eat your lunch without guilt, spend a full minute thanking your body for the things it does for you, walk around the house, stretch in your chair whatever). You are the only person who is in charge of how you feel about your body and what you do with your unique body in your unique situation. You can listen to other people, you can accept their opinions about you and what you should do, you can be an activist or not, but at the end of the day, you are the only one in charge, you are the boss of your underpants, and there is always something you can do.
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Dances With Fat 
There is always something you can do, and sometimes it’s just being visible and refusing to be ashamed of what you are. I had something of a revelation this weekend when I realised how much my own attitude has evolved since I started reading HAES blogs. I sing, and for years I’ve stood there almost apologetically, hoping people would like my voice enough to forgive me for my body, trying to forget what I look like and lose myself in the music. This weekend I didn’t feel ashamed and I didn’t wonder whether people found me disgusting. Instead I focused on giving the most joyful performance i could, showing the audience what a fatty can do, and I had more fun on stage than I ever have before! It was so liberating! Ragen, you are personally responsible for at least part of that transformation so I just had to drop by and thank you!
(And I have a girl crush on Drew as well!)
You go Girlfriend!!!!! I hope that your performance this weekend made YOU feel wonderful!
Thank you. It did. 🙂
Huge LIKE for this comment. Joyful performance and having fun make the world a better place!!!
Thanks 🙂
TheHuldra, I’m a singer too and know EXACTLY this place you’re in. So happy to hear your story! Keep singing, stay up on that stage and OWN your fabulous, cuz you DESERVE to be up there sharing your gifts just as much as anyone else does!
Thank you! We have a lot of prejudice to fight (as illustrated by the sniggering and eye-rolling that happens whenever a fat person walks onto the stage in Britain’s Got Talent) but i believe we can do it!
“the first step to getting civil rights is realizing that you deserve them”
I have just added that to my favourite quotes on my FB page,
This seems like a good post on which to ask the question I’ve been struggling with. I have made great strides in changing many of my thought and behavior patterns regarding food, I eat a more diverse range of food and I enjoy moving my body and learning what it can do and training it do more*. I no longer look as food and exercise as means to becoming thin, but rather as a means to enjoying life. I can also look back and see a lot of changed habits, habits that were formed in the restrict/binge cycle of dieting. I have other habits I want to change, but I’m very comfortable with the pace I’m going at.
So what is my problem? I still haven’t found the right vocabulary for food. When I want to eat strawberries instead of ice cream, no matter what words what I use to describe the strawberries, “wholesome”, “nutritious”, etc., I’m still feeling the good/bad distinction that I have used to label food my whole life. So any ideas?
* I have been unwell for the past month or so, thus I haven’t been exercising as much as I’d like.
Strawberries are sweet, juicy, yummy, fresh, a luxury food, a special treat! Maybe focusing on the taste will help? When I was still dieting I never wanted fruit because it was for “being good”, but with time those distinctions have faded. Now I can wander around the supermarket and nothing appeals to me more than the juicy organic orange I can’t wait to sink my teeth into. Or some days I’d rather buy cake and that’s fine. It sounds like you are making great progress, and the rest will fall into place with time. 🙂
Sometimes I ask myself, “What purpose is this food serving?”
There are certainly lots of foods — strawberries are one — that fit multiple types of categories like “making my mouth happy” and “being kind to my GI system” and “providing me a nice range of nutrients” at the same time.
There are also foods that tend to be narrower in scope. Some foods are “this is all that is not going to make my Crohn’s fucking flare up right now.” And others are “this is the food from the school cafeteria that will keep me from being ravenous before dinner.” Or, yes, “this is the food I am eating just because it is tasty.”
And when I can, I do try to choose the foods that hit the best range of categories for my particular needs right then. But ultimately, as long as I can identify my purpose in eating any given food, I am way less likely to judge the food as simply “good” or “bad” — or myself that way for eating it.
Sorry to go off topic a bit, but how was the movie?