Liar, Liar, Plus Sized Pants on Fire

I received yet another  spam comment calling me a liar today (“5’4 and 280 pounds is not healthy and you’re just deluding yourself if you think it is. There is no way that you can work out the way you say you do and eat the way you say you do and still be that fat.  You are not healthy and you need to get real, stop gorging yourself and get to the gym”)  Luckily I don’t weigh 280, I weigh 284 so I assume that I’m good and this comment would only be true were I to weigh 280.

So I was pondering this.  Specifically I was wondering  how these people end up on my blog and why they bother to take the time to leave the comment.  I’ve never felt the desire to seek out people who’ve made different choices than I have and tell them that I think they are wrong.  Then I started to think about the number of people who have called me a liar when I’ve told them  them what I do and they’ve seen what I weigh.  It’s not just perfect strangers on the internet.  I’ve been called a liar by doctors, nurses, nutritionists, family members, friends, dance teachers, dance judges, personal trainers and that’s just the people who said it to my face.

It occurred to me what a wonderful tool this is if your sense of superiority is dependent upon keeping the status quo.  Just as a random hypothetical example, if you feel like you are better than fat people because you are thin and therefore it’s obvious that you have more self-control, more health, and you love yourself because you are thin,  it might be really threatening if you found out that there are fat people who are also healthy and happy and love themselves.  If you can call them liars – make them and others believe that they are not competent witnesses to their own experience and that you know better – then you can keep the status quo and your sense of superiority is not threatened.

Or maybe you’ve found that although you are thin, all of your life’s problems have not been solved.  So you figure that if you can go and  take a happy fatty down a peg or two at least you’ll feel better about yourself.

Or maybe you’ve lost weight (and you’re in the first 5 years, or you are part of the magical 5% who can keep it off long-term), and you are for some reason unable to grasp the concept that your experience is not everyone’s experience and so you feel the need to try to tell other people that they don’t have a right to their experience because they need to have yours.

No matter what your deal is, let me just say this:  How fucking dare you call me a liar and try to tell me that I’m not a competent witness to my own experience.  You can go to hell. Thank you.  Your friend, Ragen.

49 thoughts on “Liar, Liar, Plus Sized Pants on Fire

  1. Best response ever! 🙂

    I went to a clinic for an endoscopy yesterday, and the doctor treated me to a really horrible rant about how if I lost weight, all my health problems would disappear, and then lectured me on how I absolutely need to start counting calories and exercising. I told him that I know that the energy-in, energy-out model is overly simplistic, and that dieting doesn’t work. The doctor responded by yelling at me, then going off on a tangent about how he thinks fat women are really unattractive. Nice, eh?

    Anyway, the reason why I’m telling you this is that when this was happening, I was thinking about the things you’ve written about fat and health, which gave me both the strength and the knowledge to oppose the crap that this doctor was spewing. You really helped me, Regan! 🙂

    Thank you *so* much! You’re making a really positive difference in the world, which I’m sure is something that could never be said about the jackass who wrote that ridiculous e-mail to you.

    1. Hi Elisabeth,

      I’m so sorry that you had to deal with that at your doctors office but it sounds like you handled yourself incredibly well. It may be TMI but the last time I went to the gyno I discovered that I actually had to create a boundary that you cannot give me a weight lecture with your hand in. my. vagina.

      At any rate, thank you so much for your and encouragement, and I’m so glad that you were able to use any of my stuff to help support you when your doctor decided to be an epic unprofessional jackass.


      1. OMG Ragen I just about died!!! w you hand in my VAGINA!!!! ROTFLMAO love it… I guess thats somewhat like getting a lecture about not sleeping around when a docs has his fingers in your ass testing your prostate as well….LOL

      2. Oh man! Why do doctor’s think this is okay?! I swear, they must purposely wait until you’re in the most vulnerable position possible to start the fat-shaming. I don’t understand how these people got to be doctors.

    2. Ick, how unprofessional! That’s just as bad as a doctor hitting on a patient in the exam room. A doctor’s sexual preferences should NEVER come up in conversation with a patient! You should consider reporting him.

      1. I agree with this person.. lodge a complaint. This kind of unprofessional behavior is deplorable. How EWWW is that? This guy is doing those types of procedures and is thinking about how attractive a woman is or isn’t. ummm WRONG~! So is he saying he would enjoy doing the procedure more if the patient were thin? UCK. In that case, I’d rather be my fluffy self and have him NOT enjoy the procedure.

        Please for the sake of every patient who has to endure this person again.. .report him. If you need help finding someone to report him to.. let me know.


  2. Oh no, I just realised that I spelled your name incorrectly in the comment I just posted! I apologise for that! 🙂

  3. Awww, you say such nice things about me!!

    I think you hit the nail on the head with your reasons for tearing down teh fatz. Not only does it lend an air of superiority to ones thin self if one can lord it over a fatty or three, but it means that ones opinion is VERY IMPORTANT and one will be noticed for that VERY IMPORTANT opinion.

    Man, if you want some sport, go to Facebook and find the Hack on Triple J page and read teh VERY IMPORTANT opinions there. How dare teh fatz advocate for themselves!!

    1. I only say nice things about you because you are so very awesome. I think you’re exactly right about the “VERY IMPORTANT” syndrome. You did a beautiful job in the interview.


  4. Wow, just…wow. Part of me is amazed at the set of brass ones this person must have, but another part of me isn’t shocked at all that people can be this dense. The simple fact that you never once ask someone to make your experience theirs says volumes, but it seems like there is someone around every corner that insists that you must make their experience yours (all in general terms, although it isn’t always general when they try to pick you out of the crowd and pick on you). Until they spend at least a day in your body, doing all the amazing things that you’re doing, they can’t even come close to making a judgment on whether or not you are telling the “truth” about your activities. It just stuns me that so many people seem to think to know exactly what it is someone else is doing, without once actually even observing them. I wish I had this magical power, must be nice.

    1. See to me this doesn’t take a set of brass ones at all. Anybody can hide behind a computer and and anonymous e-mail address and tell people what you think. I agree – it would be so nice to have the super-magical ability to be able to tell everyone else what to do – and I’m SO VERY SURE (sarcasm meter is a 9 of 10) that there is nothing for them to focus on in their own lives…


  5. *applause* Love it! It always boggles my mind that when someone doesn’t want to BELIEVE another person’s experience; it therefore becomes some sort of self-perceived truth that it therefore means said person must be a LIAR. Um…no!!! No one’s experience is universal! And I always love to read about your own experience 😀 This just made my day a bit more empowered!

  6. A friend and I were just talking about the People Who Know Better About Everything yesterday at lunch. Not just in the weight context, but in every aspect of other people’s lives! Who are these perfect people?!

    Ragen, do you whip your foot high into the air in your dancer’s pose while telling them to go to hell?! That’s what I would do!

    You rock!
    xo Susie

    1. Hi Susie,

      I’ve heard of the PTB (Powers that Be) now I know about the PWK (People Who Know) Blargh.

      I hadn’t thought about it but I think that I will start to high kick while I tell people to back off 🙂


  7. In high school, I spent a lot of time over at my best friend’s house. She rarely came over to mine. I was embarrassed to have her over. “Lock the fridge!” my family’d say. Or they’d offer her a salad instead of what we were eating. They never called her fat, but the implication was there; she ate too much.

    Thing is, I was always with her, and she never ate any more than I did, and much of what we ate at her house was higher quality than what I’d eat at home. We’d cook ground beef and she’d pour off the fat. “It’s bad for your heart,” she’d tell me.

    I told me family this, and they’d laugh at me. “She got up at night to eat in secret.” “I slept beside her bed, she would have stepped on me.” “She jumped over you.” “So she’s a ninja?” “Hahaha whoever heard of a fat ninja?”

    Not only were they calling my best friend a liar, but implying I was a sucker. I was angry and ashamed. It took me a while to realize, but it wasn’t my fat friend I was ashamed of, but the way my family treated her.

    1. Your story is very touching, thank you so much for sharing!

      I was once a fat little girl who, really, didn’t eat any more than her thin friends.. And sorry to say I was not a fat little ninja girl, although that would’ve been awesome! 🙂

    2. Skyfire,

      I’m sorry that happened to you (and to your friend). Sometimes I just don’t know what people are thinking.

      As an aside, now I totally want a bumper sticker that says “Fat Ninja”


    3. I know it’s years later but this post, and particularly this comment, made me realize that I always assumed I was lying to myself about how I eat and exercise. It hurts my heart so much!

  8. As we all know, “you can’t fix stupid”! Even when all the facts point to an amazing, athletic, healthy person that is 5’4” and 284 pounds some people will call you a liar. As the “Mom” let me tell you that this amazing child, ice skated when she was younger, even as the instructors said, she can’t jump, she can’t spin, and she did, with grace and beauty. Played soccer, coaches said, she can’t run she can’t kick, she did, you can ask the other girls that limped off the field! Played volleyball, with a killer serve and was one of the best setters.
    These people need to get over themselves and do some research, maybe if you are reading; you won’t put your foot in your mouth so often!

  9. There is a psychological explanation for this, bee tee dubs. It’s called the Dunning-Kruger effect, and it can best be summed up as “The less they know, the more they don’t know they don’t know it.”

    More technically, is the psychological effect that people who have a lower cognitive ability or level of knowledge in a certain area, the higher their degree of confidence regarding the accuracy of their beliefs about it. I.e., people who aren’t scientists or epistemologists assessing that “because evolution is just a theory, it’s not real science.” Or people telling me – a professionally trained philosopher – why their philosophical ideas are obviously the right ones. Their lower their cognitive ability/level of knowledge means their metacognitive ability to evaluate the verisimilitude (closeness to truth or likelihood of accuracy) of their beliefs is also lower. Hence the over confidence.

    the reverse DK effect is when the higher your cognitive ability or level of knowledge, the less confidence you have in your assessments because you recognize the genuine evidence you need to have to make your claims. Thats why people like me and you are slower to pass judgment – we recognize that no matter how much we know our knowledge is itself limited and you need to know more about an issue before you can be confident your beliefs are right.

    The reverSe DK effect is that people with a high

    1. Thank you for this! I always wondered why I just couldn’t argue with people who obviously didn’t know what they were talking about. It’s so frustrating to know that you know just enough about something to know that you don’t know enough to school somebody who doesn’t know anything about it!

    2. Beautiful. Bonus points for use of versimilitude. Thank you so much for this, it’s really good information well presented. At least, I think it is – I’d need to do more research to be sure 😉


  10. I just don’t understand it. Here’s the thing – let’s imagine that all the fatties in the world (a) eat too much (b) exercise too little and (c) are lazy slobs.

    Who cares?

    Really, who cares? Why is it important to somebody else?

    I don’t run down to the beach to shriek at all the sun bathers that they’re going to get skin cancer and cost the system lots of money and they should cover up. People would think I was a moron/crazy person if I did that. And, to be honest, I don’t really care if they fry themselves. Plus I’d be wrong anyway, because most of them have probably slathered on the sunblock, it’s just that I can’t see it.

    Whoever said that we’ve just transferred all our sexual anxieties to fat people got it right. We can’t gossip about sexual impropriety any more, so we gossip about fat/food instead.

    1. You have it spot on! We don’t put down people who tan, because what’s healthier than a lovely orange glow? But fatties? Dear sweet jebus won’t somebody think of the children?!? The omgdeathfatzrruiningtheworld crowd needs to look at the facts and quit bending over and taking the whims of the diet industry.

      There is only one thing that is certain in life, and that is death. Everyone dies so why not stick to what works for you and not hassle those who’s choices don’t directly affect your death. As for me, I plan on dying fat and happy, possibly while eating a salad, more likely while enjoying a good steak and a great beer. If my deahfatz kills me, awesome. If not, even better, but either way, I’m eventually six feet under.

    2. I agree that it shouldn’t be a matter in which public opinion is important. I maintain that personal responsibility does not meant that I’m personally responsible for fulfilling someone else’s expectations.


  11. Thank you for yet another awesome post, Ragen!

    I am so sorry to hear that you are so often targeted by these terribly ignorant people.
    I hope that you can find strength and courage in the fact that you have many devoted readers on your side!


  12. Brilliant yet again, Ragen! Can you write something similar about people who say they are Christian and their way is the right way? And then they put down people who are different from themselves and say they are wrong/liars? Thank you!

    1. Thanks Susan!

      I would say the same thing to those Christian who feel like we all need to embrace their faith. In fact, I think that the concept is universal: Do what you want to do/believe is right for you and then shut the hell up unless someone is asking for your advice. “You” is the operative word here: You cannot extrapolate to the whole of humanity based on the thing that works for you, whether it’s health, Christianity, fashion or anything else.


  13. Excellent post. The you-can’t-possibly-be-telling-the-truth thing is so real. I’ve definitely experienced it. The first time was from a neighbor who told me I HAD to be eating secretly because I couldn’t possibly be fat from what I ate in front of others.

    The annoying adjunct to this is the fat person who actually has a compulsive overeating/binge-eating disorder. Because THEY truly overeat (and have lied about it) or eat emotionally, they assume that ALL fat people do the same and are just in denial/lying about it. I’ve had that discussion with a number of folks in the WLS community, and alas, I’ve heard Oprah promote the idea too.

    I respect that they are talking about the truth of their own reality, but they are generalizing their reality and illness to everyone who is fat. Just because THEY overeat or lie about it doesn’t mean that I do, or even that most fat people do.

    It’s another version of Liar, Liar, Plus-Sized Pants On Fire, and it’s one that really drives me nuts.

  14. Hi Ragen,
    I’m not a regular reader, I just linked over here from Jezebel. I thought this was an interesting question, so I thought I’d share my own experience of having been on the other side of the fence: the skeptic.
    While I’ve never been such a jackass that I’ve expressed my skepticism out loud, or randomly posted on someone’s blog calling them a liar, I’ve been guilty of doubting it when heavy people said that they ate healthy and exercised. Part of this was extrapolating my experience with a heavy friend who did lie about it… but I think most of it was fear, rather than a desire to feel superior.
    I’ve noticed that whenever something bad happens to someone, people cast around to look for some kind of explanation for what that person did wrong, out of some deeply-rooted, juvenile belief that if you do everything right, bad things won’t happen to you. The scariest things are the ones where you can’t explain it away, because it means it could just as easily happen to you: the robbery in a nice area in broad daylight, the fitness guru with heart disease. It’s a reminder that your control over your life only goes so far.
    And particularly for people who really demonize fat people, being fat is a Bad Thing. For them to believe that you can be both fit and fat requires them to acknowledge that maybe they don’t have perfect control over their own weight. That they could become an object of derision with no way to fix it. It’s a scary thing, and it’s a lot easier for people to just call someone else a liar than to acknowledge that. I think it’s the people who are most afraid that somehow feel compelled to email someone to call them a liar.
    And for myself in the past, I will offer one defense: even for people who do not seek to dehumanize fat people, the fear of fat has been enshrined in the medical establishment just like the fear of smoking. Acknowledging that modern medical science is a work in progress, and doctors are not omniscient, is a very scary thing– you put your life into their hands pretty regularly. When I was younger, it was a lot easier for me to be quietly skeptical of a fat person than to admit to all this. So while I agree with you that someone like that is probably threatened by you, I suspect that it’s not your happiness with yourself that they’re threatened by– it’s the loss of control that you represent. That maybe their doctors don’t have all the answers, and that they don’t have perfect control over how they look.
    Anyway, I realize this is an old post, but I just wanted to share with you an alternative perspective on the motivation. But it doesn’t really change things; a bully is still a bully, even if it’s because he’s scared. I really admire your positive attitude, in spite of all this crap you have to deal with.

    1. Thanks for sharing this. I definitely generalized and I’m glad that you shared an experience that was different than my assumptions. I absolutely agree that the fear is institutionalized – it’s on every billboard, every commercial, in the medical establishment etc. so I can understand how it happens and I appreciate you saying that a bully is still a bully – I definitely think that we are responsible for our actions and reactions. Thanks again for the really good comment!


  15. You go girl!

    Although based on the comment the other individual wrote, maybe it was someone trolling? They have been showing up increasingly over the past several years on the online world…

    Thanks for having such a beautiful blog. I have only just started subscribing but I must sincerely thank you for having such an inspirational blog that I can share with others!

  16. WARNING: The following comment, while intending to be respectful, does contain opinions stated as fact, language the may be inflammatory and triggering.

    First off, I love your blog and read it regularly, but I thought this might be a good post to ask something I’ve wondered about, something personal that you are obviously under no obligation to answer, but I think might be a similar thought process that runs through the heads of the jerks who leave you rude comments or emails. You work out/dance about 20 hours a week and are very active– but unless you are gorging yourself, it’s absolutely impossible to work out that much and be eating normally (or practicing intuitive eating- your stomach may be stretched so your idea of satiety may lend itself to overeating, or you hunger signals may be wacky) without any weight loss. Or heck, maybe you just enjoy eating and don’t give any of that a second thought, which is fine! Yes, I believe every individual’s body has a set point where it’s most happy- but nobody’s set point is morbidly obese. Overweight, sure, even obese, but nobody is born obese and calories in/calories out is the mechanism by which our bodies store or use fat. Do you disagree with this basic science? And how do you explain other countries with much lower rates of obesity than the US, or the fact that as countries become more “westernized,” the rates of obesity tend to rise? This is not indicative of the idea that natural set points don’t necessarily trend toward obese in all people that are obese, but rather that lifestyle plays a large role. I agree you can be overweight and healthy- I suffered from an eating disorder and can tell you the damage I did to my body is far more horrific than some extra pounds, and you mentioned how your cholesterol and glucose and blood pressure are all amazing, which is fantastic. It’s none of my business what your eating habits are, and everyone deserves to be happy in their own skin. I’m just wondering how someone so active doesn’t lose weight despite not actively trying, unless diet is an issue… but then, your health stats wouldn’t be so perfect if you regularly gorged on junk, which is, unfortunately, the prejudiced idea people have in their head about people with larger bodies. I’m not trying to be an ass AT ALL and totally believe in HAES, but calories in/calories out is the central component to how the body either stores or uses fat. That some people try to diet and can’t sustain it is normal if they’re trying to fight against their natural set point, but do you think your set point is in the “morbidly obese” range? (I know BMI has so many problems, but I cite it’s parameters in categories because it still is the main tool used, however flawed it is) There was an interesting study (that I can’t seem to find to link to) that gave people prone to being overweight and people tending to maintain normal weight diets of something like 3000-5000 calories a day, and then returned them to a 1500 calorie a day diet. the people who naturally maintained “normal” weights without dieting lost the weight very quickly, while the other group had more trouble. I mentioning this because it’s obvious people’s bodies are all different and respond differently to things, and that a deficit of calories wouldn’t guarantee dramatic weight loss. But your blog is all about being positive about your size and living an active lifestyle, which led me to wonder why you hadn’t lose weight despite yourself without trying. Do you practice intuitive eating? Were you always heavy? I’m really not trying to be an asshole, but maybe the amount you exercise leads people to write evil emails to you because they might have some similar thoughts, but instead of trying to politely articulate them, as I hope I have done here, they just call you a liar and have verbal diarrhea of the mean-spirited type. I understand if you don’t want to answer this comment but I’m really not trying to be negative or hurtful. I enjoy your blog and read it regularly, and I believe every person has the right to be treated with respect and dignity, and the war on people, especially womens’, self esteem by various industries is predatory and disgusting. Thanks for your great blog.

    1. Thank you for the respectful questions, this is the kind of dialog that I enjoy.

      I would suggest that you are stating your opinions/beliefs as if they are fact:

      You stated: “Unless you are gorging yourself, it’s absolutely impossible to work out that much and be eating normally without any weight loss.” You’re just wrong on that one. As someone with an eating disorder my calorie counting abilities are extraordinary and while I should lose weight based on a ci/co model, I just don’t.

      You said “nobody’s set point is morbidly obese”. I would respectfully ask that you either prove that assumption is fact, or be honest that it’s your assumption. I don’t know if my original set point was super obesity (I’m two classes above morbidly obese) and neither, I would suggest, do you.

      I absolutely disagree with a calories in/calories out concept, which I talk about today:

      I’ll be interested to see what you think. I’ll try to get to some of your other points later but again, thank you for the respectful comment and the discussion.


  17. I’m not approving your comment because you’ve completely missed the point of this blog and I don’t know if it’s because you didn’t read it, or lack the requisite intelligence to understand it. I don’t know why you would bother spending your time typing this but I used to approve comments like this because it entertains me, but I’ve found that it just annoys my readers and therefore you will not be given a voice in this forum.

    Basically, I don’t know what in the world would lead you to believe that I would consider you qualified to talk to me about my health.

    More specifically, your comment has gone awry for the following reasons:
    1. It’s paternalistic
    2. It’s not based in good science (You appear to be confused about the difference between objective and subjective)
    3. You state your opinions as fact and don’t seem to know the difference.
    4. You’ve only recently lost weight you statistically still have only a 5% chance of keeping the weight off for more than 5 years – talk to me then, until then you you are statistically – and quite honestly from my perspective in general – insignificant.
    5. I’m not sure what you were trying to accomplish by letting me know that you are an insurance adjuster, but I am unimpressed. I’m a trained researcher who has actually read the studies, and am frequently asked to speak on these subjects to populations from Universities to Eating Disorder Professionals. I just returned from the premier of a documentary on the subject in which I provided an expert opinion. You are an insurance adjuster – we are just not playing on the same level here.
    6. I’m a little bit amazed that you would attempt to say that you “respect” my “attitude” and “support the site” whilst typing the rest of this. Once again – your sense of self-importance seems to be exaggerated – I don’t actually care what you think, and if you’re curious, this reads as disingenuous at best.

    So, you’ll need to sell your opinions somewhere else, we’re not buying here.

  18. AWESOME POST! I made my “Fat Strong Lady” video to show the world that fat women can be strong and healthy ( and while I have received many wonderful, supportive comments, I have also received a lot of negative ones. And the biggest theme of the negative ones (besides the “yeah, but you are too fat to ever get a man” comments) are the “you’re lying to yourself” comments, which frankly, make me furious.

    So many people are telling me that I shouldn’t be lifting weights, or being happy, or enjoying my sex life, simply by watching a seven minute video I made of me weightlifting as a 300 lb. woman. I’m told I should “run instead,” so I don’t bulk up and all sorts of other nonsense.

    One woman told me I shouldn’t be dropping the weights – when in fact, at the level that I’m lifting, if I DON’T drop the weights, I’d tear my arms out of the sockets! And that’s a perfect metaphor for this unsolicited “advice.” They not only don’t know what they are talking about, but they are actually spouting DANGEROUS advice. The same applies to anyone that says we are “lying” to ourselves.

    It’s amazing to me that anyone thinks they have the right to tell me or anyone else how to we should be in our own bodies! But that’s life as a woman in this culture.

    Thanks again, for this wonderful post. I love it!

    1. Firstly Tristy, I love your video! Well done on presenting another positive portrayal of fatness to the world.

      Secondly, it just proves yet again that it’s not about our health. It’s about what we look like. We are to get thin, no matter what the cost, because we are offending their eyes.

  19. I know this is old but I’ve just been recently introduced to your blog (via a user on iVillage) and I love it 🙂

    That being said… this post in particular burns my butt. I’ve been a personal trainer for several years and I know EXACTLY what you are talking about. I worked with a lady who weighed 318 lbs when she started with me and 8 months later after coming to see me 5 days a week she only went down to 304 lbs (I’ve had a few other clients like this, but she sticks out as we hung out outside the gym). She ate well, according to the food log, and worked out constantly but maintained that steady weight.

    No blood pressure issues, no blood sugar issues, no cholesterol issues… She was in better health than I was!!!

    She broke my heart when she had gastric bypass done, solely for cosmetic reasons. People (who claimed to be her friends) constantly being on her about being fat and she’d be prettier if she were thin… Just awful stuff. She barely made it through the surgery and had so many complications, all in the name if being skinny. Even 18 months later she can barely keep food down…

  20. I realize this is an older post, but I’m just recently reading it and just had to say something. I’ve had doctors treat me as if I’m lying. No they don’t flat-out call me a liar, they just imply it.

    I have high blood pressure and was told to lose weight to help it. It did help some, but that was probably more due to the healthy lifestyle and being careful about eating too much salt than it was my weight loss. Not to mention my medication.

    Anyway, the first time I went into that doctor, she asked me what I did for exercise. At that point in time, I was doing about half an hour on my elliptical machine, three times a week. (Not to mention, I go outside a lot to birdwatch.) While I realize that isn’t the full 5 days that is recommended, it’s still exercise. Yet later on, she told me she wanted me to exercise more and live a less “sedentary” lifestyle. I was thinking, “What?” Sure, tell me the recommended amount of exercise per day – tell me I need to add another couple more 30-minute exercise sessions in. That’s fine. But to call me sedentary just after I told her what I did for exercise? That’s BS.

    Not to mention, the last time I visited, I’d told her I’d lost 50 lb., and her attitude was more “Gee, that’s great! Now lose more!!” than anything. I felt hurt and let down.

    I’m seriously considering replacing her, though I’m not sure exactly where to look.

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