Sometimes, I just get in the mood to write silly poetry that would break the “Pritchard Scale” (plus 20 awesome points if you get the movie reference). Enjoy:
There she is, across the floor
Eating salad and nothing more
Just some lemon to dress
You see I’m trying to eat less
Please don’t shame me, I’m being a good fatty
She says she’s embarrassed
Shakes her head, I’m a slob
I eat too much, don’t exercise
I’m just a big lazy blob
But I’m in the gym at eight
You see, I’m trying to lose the weight
Please believe me, I’m being a good fatty
Across the restaurant I sit
Enjoying salsa and some chips
Enduring the waitresses raised brow
Her expression screaming God, what a cow
Then she says there on page two
Are salads, they’ll be good for you
I know, I know… I’m obviously a bad fatty
I see frustration through strained civility
Why won’t I take responsibility
I’m obviously a drain on healthcare
I take up too much space and it’s unfair
Everyone knows I must be sick
Because my middle is just too thick
See that girl with the salad… now THAT’S a good fatty
I’m a bad fatty, I’ll admit it
I don’t have time for all this bullshit
Won’t hate myself and live in constant shame
Won’t play your crazy yo-yo diet game
Won’t buy your shakes and soups and bars
Won’t let you leave emotional scars
I think I’ll like myself, and you can call me Bad Fatty
In perfect health my doctors say
I thank my body every day
I love body and how it’s built
So you can keep your good fatty guilt
Health at Every Size is my cry
The root word of diet is DIE
You say I should hate myself but why
The good fatty price is just too high
So back on up, I’m proud to be a Bad Fatty
Want some poetry that doesn’t suck? Check this out, from the fabulous Pearlsong Press (no affiliation, I just happen to like it!)
Dead Poets Society! Woot! 🙂
Twenty Awesome Points to you!
Love the “Not-Lament.” Thanks for the shout-out for Fat Poets Speak & Pearlsong Press!
Warmly,
PegE
“Understanding poetry, by Dr. J Evans Pritchard, PhD. To fully understand poetry we must first be fluent with it’s rhyme, meter, and figure of speech, then we are to ask two questions. One, how artfully has the objective of the poem been rendered, and two, how important is that objective?”
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RIP IT OUT! Ps, that’s my favorite movie, and you’ve become a personal hero of mine for the reference! 🙂
This makes me so happy!!!!!! That is one of my favorite movies of all time 🙂 Thanks for getting the reference!!!
~Ragen