Bad Fatty’s Not-Lament

Sometimes, I just get in the mood to write silly poetry that would break the “Pritchard Scale” (plus 20 awesome points if you get the movie reference).  Enjoy:

There she is, across the floor
Eating salad and nothing more

Just some lemon to dress
You see I’m trying to eat less

Please don’t shame me, I’m being a good fatty

She says she’s embarrassed
Shakes her head, I’m a slob

I eat too much, don’t exercise
I’m just a big lazy blob

But I’m in the gym at eight
You see, I’m trying to lose the weight

Please believe me, I’m being a good fatty

Across the restaurant I sit
Enjoying salsa and some chips

Enduring the waitresses raised brow
Her expression screaming God, what a cow

Then she says there on page two
Are salads, they’ll be good for you

I know, I know… I’m obviously a bad fatty

I see frustration through strained civility
Why won’t I take responsibility

I’m obviously a drain on healthcare
I take up too much space and it’s unfair

Everyone knows I must be sick
Because my middle is just too thick

See that girl with the salad… now THAT’S a good fatty

I’m a bad fatty, I’ll admit it
I don’t have time for all this bullshit

Won’t hate myself and live in constant shame
Won’t play your crazy yo-yo diet game

Won’t buy your shakes and soups and bars
Won’t let you leave emotional scars

I think I’ll like myself, and you can call me Bad Fatty

In perfect health my doctors say
I thank my body every day

I love body and how it’s built
So you can keep your good fatty guilt

Health at Every Size is my cry
The root word of diet is DIE

You say I should hate myself but why
The good fatty price is just too high

So back on up, I’m proud to be a Bad Fatty

Want some poetry that doesn’t suck? Check this out, from the fabulous Pearlsong Press (no affiliation, I just happen to like it!)

5 thoughts on “Bad Fatty’s Not-Lament

  1. “Understanding poetry, by Dr. J Evans Pritchard, PhD. To fully understand poetry we must first be fluent with it’s rhyme, meter, and figure of speech, then we are to ask two questions. One, how artfully has the objective of the poem been rendered, and two, how important is that objective?”

    RIP IT OUT! Ps, that’s my favorite movie, and you’ve become a personal hero of mine for the reference! 🙂

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