231 thoughts on “Contact Me”

  1. I would like to attend a few classes and check everything out….I took dance when I was younger and every class I’ve taken as an adult results in stares and glares from other ‘thinner’ students. I love to dance and perform and am VERY rusty, but your classes sound like exactly what I have been searching for.

    I want to take class to have fun and express myself now at all my beautiful 210 POUNDS.

    Thanks a bunch!!!!
    Kym Smith
    210-584-7066

    Reply

    1. Hi Ragen and all,

      Not sure how I found your blog, but so glad I did and immediately signed up for e-mail alerts and glad I did as they brighten my days. I live in the UK and am astounded and horrified by the attitudes to fat, aesthetically by other women always going on about how you look and dress and by the medical profession. About 6/7 years, in my early 40’s my health broke down and I developed all sorts of problems and am now “classified” as disabled. I don’t really have a problem with that, I work my life around it as best as possible, but it drives me insane when your weight is blamed for either and or causing your health conditions. I even went to a local self help group for Fibromyalgia recently and some over the top annoying woman kept on about healthy eating and other things as stated by an American doctor who has almost cured people if you follow his book/whatever. I object to be told what to do as if I’m a child and or stupid(don’t think I am)and then wondered if she was following it and was cured, why was she there?? I eat reasonably healthily, don’t want to obsess about food, walk when I’m able and my condition allows, I find the rest of life complicated and hard enough without all this body hating etc. Ragen, you are a breath of fresh air, keep it up, don’t know about you but I’ve long believed people just can’t seem to leave other people alone, even though it’s not affecting them and isn’t really any of their business?!

      There, that got that out of my system, you can see I build it up. I find I can find people to talk about the disability, other health matters, but not the fat/body image thing.

      Reply

    2. Just dance. There are plenty of skinny people who wouldn’t have the motivation to get up and dance. Kudos to you for going to class
      . You might want to try belly dance. Belly dancers tend to be be more accepting and it is usually a nurturing environment. Have fun!

      Reply

  3. Hey, why haven’t I come across you and your awesome blog and even awesomer dancing before now!?!

    Your comments about positive comments to outweigh the fat hate totally rocks.

    Wheee! – Marilyn

    Reply

    1. Marilyn,

      Thank you so much! I’ve read your book repeatedly and recommend it to everyone. I just checked out your website and I’m inspired all over again. Thank you for all the work that you do!

      Woo Hoo!

      ~Ragen

      Reply

  4. Hey Cousin!
    What is up? Auntie Shel just gave me your web site today. I am so very proud of you! Really do you have to keep telling everybody that you were sold for an air conditioner? She really needed to sell you for a generator and then the air contidioner (generator to plug the air conditioner into???) Really I think that she sold you for so goats that got sent to Grandfather… I’m just kidding.
    Wow again I am sooooooooooo very proud of you. You are an awesome person please keep in contact with me. I love you VERY much!
    Your cousin Ashley (Eric’s daughter….it’s been a long time 🙂

    Reply

    1. Hey cuz!

      Awesome to see you here. Yes, I really do have to tell people the air-conditioner story because it’s hilarious 🙂 I hope that you are doing well and definitely keep in touch. Love you very much right back!!!!!!
      ~Ragen

      Reply

  5. Hi Ragen,
    You rock girl!! You are changing people’s lives with your work. You made my morning when I came across your blog and got to watch your videos.

    I just added you to my directory http://www.PlusSizeYellowPages.com under “Plus Size Fitness”, “Size Friendly Entertainment” and “Body Esteem”. I am honored to share your info.

    Kelly Bliss

    Reply

  6. Hi! I had fun watching you dance. I love to dance too. Always looking for nice folks to meet and chat with. I am going to follow your blog. I like middle eastern dance, some latin dance, I just started capoeria, I also just wiggle around the room. Have a great day!!! (My website is currently set up with astrophysics job stuff for now, but I might eventually include my dancing and some size acceptance resource pages.)

    Reply

  8. Just had to leave you a little note to say how much I love your blog. I discovered you thanks to Jezebel and I have not been able to stop reading, in fact I am at work right now and should probably be doing some actual reading. You write with the most amazing, perceptive and positive voice. I have been really getting into the fat acceptance movement lately, and am thinking starting up my own blog as am yet to discover any FAs from New Zealand. You are one inspirational lady!
    From Ally.

    Reply

  10. I don’t know if you’ve seen Sleep Talkin’ Man (sleeptalkinman.blogspot.com) but he seems to channel a “plus size” woman as he talks iin his sleep. Many sayings are available as shirts or bags, including:

    “Yeah, I’m shapely. I’m a great big gorgeous shape and loving it.”

    “Whoever invented calories is gonna get their face fucked with ice cream cake.”

    “They’re not love handles. I’ve got love impact protection barriers.”

    “My ass and my personality are the same thing. Huge and in your face.”

    and my personal favorite: “I haven’t put on weight. Your eyes are fat.”

    Reply

  14. Hi Ragen! I just found your blog through Jezebel’s reposting of your Duchovny proposition–you had me at “Oh my god, Becky!”–and I really like what I’ve seen of your blog, philosophies, and practices.

    As a founder of a social dance group, Yale Swing & Blues, I am committed to pushing the partner dance community to be ever more inclusive. For instance, at YS&B we teach gender-neutral classes in which everyone learns to lead and to follow, which allow us be more respectful of the gender and sexuality of our dancers, and we offer free classes to LGBTQI student and community groups to proactively reach out to people excluded from standard representations of partner dance.

    Teaching partner dancing without the traditional gender roles means we always have some people leading who are physically smaller than their follows, and I’ve been interested in offering workshops on how to address (and exploit) that situation, but I’m no expert on it myself. I would love to talk to you about a possible workshop.

    Also, I love the swing and blues dance communities, and think that on the issue of body acceptance, as on most things, these communities are doing better than the mainstream culture. But, better is not necessarily the best we could be doing, and I wonder if you would be interested in talking with us about how to be more fat-inclusive and body-positive, including in our outreach to new dancers.

    I really look forward to hearing from you, and I thank you for your outspoken, positive voice for change.

    -Mary

    P.S. Austin has a great swing and blues community, and I would love to put you in touch with the dancers and organizers there if you don’t already know them!

    Reply

    1. Hi Mary,

      First of all, your organization sounds fantastic. I absolutely love what you are doing. I would love to talk to you. Just let me know how you would like to facilitate that (are you wanting me to come and do a talk/guest class or just e-mail or speak on the phone?) Just let me know.

      I do know some really cool swing and blues dancers here is Austin (Tommy Schwegmann, Dee Kalick etc.)

      I look forward to hearing from you, thank you for all of the amazing work that you are doing to make dance inclusive.

      ~Ragen

      Reply

  15. Hey Ragen,
    I was going through a website today and came across a Bertrand Russell quote that made me think of your blog:
    “Conventional people are roused to fury by departure from convention, largely because they regard such departure as a criticism of themselves.”
    Always good to have famous people backing up your philosophy. 🙂

    Reply

  17. hey ragen have you ever seen Paprika? it is possibly the only movie i have ever seen with a positive portrayal of a fat person, and that’s only one of its good qualities!

    Reply

  20. I discovered your blog thru that magazine article you mentioned earlier. i love it! Took ballet lessons back when I was 12, and was the biggest kid in class. 5’0″ and 150 pounds at the time. Lasted 3 years before I succumbed to the “you don’t have a dancer’s body” line. Now at 57, 5’5″ and 210 pounds, after fighting my body my whole life, I’ve been at peace with my size for some time. Though now and then it’s a struggle. I’ve just subscribed to your blog for the continued inspiration – and comebacks. Thanks!

    Reply

    1. Welcome to the blog! Your story is really inspirational. I hope that you find a place to dance to your heart’s content, even if it’s just in your living room 🙂

      ~Ragen

      Reply

    1. Hi Keri,

      Thank you so much for your kind words. The link isn’t working and I wanna see what image you are going to have tattooed on your big, fat, gorgeous thigh!

      ~Ragen

      Reply

      1. Dangit! LOL! Try this one:
        Marilyn Willendorf

        Otherwise, you can google search the image by looking for Marilyn Willendorf – it’s a gorgeous concoction of the Veun Willendorf in a Marilyn Mondroe dress.

        Reply

  22. Might I ask Ragen where you were born and where you live now? I don’t mean to get all nosy but I was just wondering. Some places are more into fat acceptance than others.

    Reply

  23. I stumbled upon your blog recently and its been a great read. You are an awesome writer, dancer, and advocate for health at any size! I agree that an emphasis on weight loss/weight is detrimental to efforts to support people’s health, and condemnation of people based on their body size is plain stupid.

    Of course, here comes the but (there’s always a but!)…I have seen messages like “only 5% of diets succeed” and “long term weight loss is impossible” several times on your blog. I think this message is untrue, but more importantly, ultimately unhelpful to the health at any size cause. Here’s why:

    1) There have been very few good studies on weight loss and long term outcomes. From what I have read, long term weight loss does seem possible. It seems the definition of long term is a moving target, with the only acceptable example of success being a person who lost weight and kept it off until they died of natural causes. I think someone could make the same argument about being healthy and “obese” – someone might have healthy blood pressure, knees, and other measures now, but her/his weight will eventually catch up with them and cause a host of problems. I don’t believe this to be true, but I see parallels between the two lines of reasoning.

    2) By defending the idea that weight loss is impossible so strongly, I feel that one can inadvertently support the idea that it is desirable. I understand that the diet industry does not have our best interests in mind, and that pro-weight loss messages are usually insulting. However, I think the assertion that long-term weight loss is impossible starts an argument that is unproductive. If weight isn’t connected to health, beauty, or happiness, what does it matter if it is changeable? If long term weight loss was possible, should everyone pursue it?

    Again, I do really like your blog. I wish we all could embrace idea of pursuing health rather than a target weight, and see moving our bodies as a joyful activity rather than a drudgery undertaken to atone for dietary sins. Thank you for the work you are doing!

    Reply

    1. Hi Liz,

      Thanks for your kind words about the blog. I think that we’re going to have to agree to disagree on the 95% thing though. I do see what you are saying and I believe that two smart people can get the same information and draw different conclusions. First, I don’t believe that I’ve ever said “long term weight loss in impossible”, I said that based on the research it’s highly improbable. I have used the 5% success figure and I’ll continue to use it because it’s what been shown through the science that’s been done. You mentioned that from what you have read you think it is possible, I’m certainly open to reading it if you feel that there is statistically significant data on this.

      What I see is that the diet industry spends a lot of money trying to convince people that if they just tried hard enough they would be successful at weight loss. I believe that the stigmatization of fat people is predominantly based on the idea nearly all of us could lose weight if we tried hard enough, but the science doesn’t show that to be the case and I think that people should know that one possible reason why they’ve not been successful at weight loss is that the chances of doing so successfully are miniscule based on all of the research that we have.

      That said, I continue to believe that focusing on health is the best way to produce it and I definitely appreciate the dialog.

      ~Ragen

      Reply

  24. My girlfriend turned me on to your blog and I’m quite impressed. I appreciate good writing and, even more, good thinking. Fat has become synonymous with unhealthy and it’s damaging to everyone. Further, it’s a point of view I hadn’t really examined in myself until now.

    I think that our culture is rife with self hatred in many forms. Perhaps fat demonization is just another outlet for these insecurities. I tend to think that people who are confident in themselves have less a need to attack others.

    Thanks

    Reply

  25. I absolutely love your blog. It has helped reinforce what I’ve been trying to convince myself for years: I’m healthy, so bug off. Every person speaking out and resisting fat hatred helps, and it certainly makes me feel a little better. I love swimming, and I’m training to be a distance swimmer, but nobody looks past my pant size (16). I’m starting to love me, and your blog helps reinforce that.
    You’re a amazing!

    Reply

  26. I am new to Austin, I love dancing, I like your blog and I wanted to know what your thoughts were on line dancing, I love it! Since I’ve been here I have noticed that nobody likes it so I am a bit depressed. I have been thinking about learning more west coast swing. Do you teach? can’t wait for your response

    Reply

  27. Hi Ragen! What a small world it is. My dear friend told me about your blog and I’ve been voraciously reading over the last 2 weeks. Imagine my surprise/delight when another friend comes to stay with me and in the process of catching up, I tell her about this amazing blog that’s changing my life and thought processes in very good ways–and apparently she’s an IRL friend of yours!

    That moment of kismet tells me just how healthy this is for me in body, mind and spirit. Thank you for sharing your experiences and giving me the framework/vocabulary to start coming to healthy terms with my own. I look forward to learning from/being inspired by you even more!

    Reply

    1. Hi Amy,

      Does your friend’s first name begin with a K? If so she texted me and told me all about it. I love that kind of kismet and I’m really happy that you’ve found a path to health that’s working for you. Hugs!

      ~Ragen

      Reply

      1. Why yes, yes it does!

        Thanks again for helping me challenge the messages I’ve internalized for the last 42 years. Other than my health/weight, I’m a pretty happy person and I’m hoping I’m equal to the challenge of bringing that part of my life into balance.

        Hugs returned,
        -a

        Reply

  28. Hi Ragen!

    I am enjoying your blog so much. My counselor sent me a link to this site when I said I wanted to try to be more positive about my body and not obsess with exercising to lose weight. I had been a little down about being the biggest girl in my dance class and was fighting to even look myself in the mirror when I moved. I couldn’t believe your sites name when I read it but I get it now and I love it! 😉
    The only thing I wanted to ask was could you please please consider putting in a search engine in your site, or an index, or group archives by subject? I want to read everything of course, but some topics are more important to me just now than others. Another poster made a reference to one of your articles but she didn’t put a link and now I have no way of finding it without skimming through *all* your older posts. 😦
    I also have things I want to ask you but I have no way of knowing if you’ve already answered the question or covered the topic in the past and I don’t want to bug you if you have…
    Anyway thanks for all your passion and hard work, keep writing your wonderful posts and being an awesome inspiration to people…including this Fat Dancer. I will catch up with my reading someday…lol…

    Reply

  29. Dear Ragen,

    I have been doing butt-shaking happy dances all day today thanks to a small victory that I’d like to share with you.

    I recently did a basic fitness class at the recreation facility at the university at which I work. To start out the class, the trainer did a fitness evaluation that included a blood pressure test. He assured me that the cuff would work, despite my reservations about testing with a regular size cuff on my 17″ circumference arms. My blood pressure showed up as hypertensive, and I went home stressed and worrying.

    After scheduling a doctor’s appointment and doing some research, my fears turned to anger. I was right; the “undercuffing” introduced a huge error. I brought my data to the trainer and lost my temper as he refused to admit that they should not use that equipment on larger arms, claiming that it was better than not measuring at all, since they only had the one cuff.

    His resistance turned out to be a good thing. It inspired me to talk to someone who could really do something about it–the head of university recreation. I composed an email complaining about the poor health information they are distributing, the bad service they are providing to patrons, and the discriminatory nature of not offering equal services to larger people. To confirm that I was serious, I copied the university’s affirmative action compliance officer!

    Two days later I got an email back saying that they had ordered the large cuff! I am so happy that I stood up for myself and my fellow fatties. We have to remember not to put up with this kind of treatment, take action when we can, and never consent to too-small BP cuffs!

    Your blog is an inspiration and has made a huge difference in my life. I am so happy that I can now go to the gym and exercise without worrying about failing because I haven’t lost weight. Now I know that the activity alone is a success!

    Many thanks and best wishes,
    Allison

    Reply

    1. Allison,

      This comment completely made my day. You are a huge inspiration, way to stand up fro your self, kick ass and demand what you need to be healthy. You are my hero today 🙂

      ~Ragen

      Reply

  30. Hi Ragen – I came upon this awesome video on another blog. I love the sass of this beautiful woman!

    Reply

  31. I love your blog, but was wondering if it was possible to have a page with links to your pictures and videos, I was wanting to watch a couple of the videos and will have to look through most of the blog as my memory sucks.

    Thank you for all you do

    ❤ Pyx

    Reply

  32. Ragen, I’m so pleased to have stumbled upon your blog by happy accident! I’m astounded at the endless pressure, media overload on us women and always going on about our size and if we are thin or not. Only the other day I was reading an article in a Sunday newspaper supplement about a woman’s unusual childhood growing up in the U.S. with unusual parents who lived on a farm and were trying to be self sufficient I believe. The woman journalist described the now woman in her 40’s as ” slim shape”, what did that have to do with anything?!! Or when I was at a family bar-b-q the other week and it was a buffet help yourself and it was commented when I went to get a second lot of food, “you would do that wouldn’t you”, but with a sarcastic, slightly accusing tone.

    Marion, UK

    Reply

  33. Ragen,

    I just wanted to say that I appreciate your blog, and the message you are trying to share. I appreciate how difficult it is to be fair and equitable, especially in an atmosphere that insists that the world is black and white, bad and good, fat and thin. Reading your posts have done a lot to help reinforce what I already knew and believed, and for that, I thank you. 🙂 Keep up the good work!

    Reply

  34. Thank you for your great blog- it has had a wonderful effect on my life.

    You may have already wrote about this, and I’ve missed it, but I would like to know if you have suggestions for what to say to kids who will never be thin to help them grow up strong and confident in a world where they are constantly picked on. I have 2 daughters, age 11 and 5. Both their dad and I are big people, and they aren’t small themselves. They have already experienced some painful teasing, more than I would have expected considering that I homeschool (and they aren’t even that big!) and I have told them they are beautiful just the way they are, and that we all come in different sizes, which is a good thing because the world would be so boring if we all looked the same. But I was raised by a mom who constantly tried to be thin, and said things like ‘you’d be so pretty if you just lost some weight’, and still greets me now with ‘Oh honey, you lost some weight, good for you!’ like it matters. So I have real issues with self-esteem myself, and am working hard not to let that effect them, but can’t seem to heal over night, if you know what I mean.

    I just want my girls to grow up to be the strong, happy and beautiful women I know they can be. How do I do it when the world around them makes it so challenging, and I’m still working on making myself one?

    Reply

  36. Hey! Just wanted to quickly leave this here: http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/health/13-things-you-never-knew-about-your-weight-2574152/#photoViewer=13

    You’ve seen my opinion about Shine and all that, and the whole article is kind of filled with “what is this” but this last bit…really surprised me. I’m glad even Shine seems to be at least acknowledging that one can be fit and fat. Maybe more people will get the message.

    (haven’t checked the comments, but it’s the internet, so be wary)

    Reply

    1. This really is happy making. The fact that they admitted that there aren’t good tools for changing the size of people’s bodies is especially awesome! Thank you for sharing it.

      ~Ragen

      Reply

  37. Hi Ragen,
    Came upon your blog via some nutritional stuff I was looking up, and although I only found a brief mention of what I was reading up on, I found the whole site strangely compelling and read quite a lot of it. The issues surrounding bigger people aren’t specifically something that’s particularly high on my awareness, but what struck me was the more universal themes about diversity, acceptance, perception of beauty, self-esteem etc. I’m a lyricist and these kinds of subjects really interest me. I think we are all a lot more similar than we realise, and I enjoy noticing common ground between people that transcends various societal barriers, and I think your attitude and philosophy are relevant to that.
    My favourite part by far though, was the hatemail and accompanying replies. There are few ways to better combat negative aggressive ideologies than to undermine them with humour, and you do so with grace.
    Respect to you and your work,
    Rik

    Reply

  39. Hi Ragen,

    I just stumbled across your blog and I think that you are an amazing writer and incredibly inspirational! I am a graduate student studying public health nutrition and I am sick of hearing about fighting obesity 24/7. What bothers me is that people (even “experts” in the field) do not understand that you can be overweight and still be healthy. I got in an argument with one of my professors the other day because I mentioned how unfortunate it was that children are beginning to diet at such early ages. He thought there was nothing wrong with it if the child was above average weight. It is incredibly frustrating to deal with the weight bias in this field and your blog is such a breath of fresh air.

    Thank you,
    Julie

    Reply

    1. Hi Julie,

      Thank you so much for your kind words. I’m sorry that you’re having to deal with this. I do find it interesting that so much of academia is ignoring the research on this. Good for you for fighting the good fight. Maybe someday I’ll end up speaking at your University and we can fight together.

      Good Luck!

      ~Ragen

      Reply

  41. Ragan:

    I need your help. There is a very famous Pagan (The Domestic Pagan) blogger who holds a weigh-loss challenge every year for her readers. Because her religion focuses on health and self-respect, I challenged her to learn more about HAES and she did and part of her program is changing in a positive way because of what she learned. But it seems, she’s got a lot of questions and doubts that I do not have the knowledge to address. From your blog, I know you could whip out answers with sources and quite possibly make it a blog post for your site too. Here’s a list of the questions and issues she seems to have:

    She thinks HAES is promoting “giving up”
    She is offended at Dr. Bacon’s superior attitude.
    She wonders why HAES demonizes the whole diet industry when the majority is promoting HAES philosophy anyway and it’s philosophy is current “common sense.”
    She sees the main desired and natural outcome of HAES practice as weight-loss and that therefore it’s a contradictory philosophy.

    I’m not sure if this would help, but one of the issues she has is that she can site lots of valid medical sources for proof that obesity causes illness. My trouble with a lot of prevalent sources from the medical industry is that their funders are often questionable.

    Here is a link to the entire blog post: http://www.thedomesticpagan.net/2011/12/can-you-be-healthy-at-every-size.html

    Please, Ragan, help. We have an opportunity to possibly educate a whole new group of people. I hope you have the time and energy.

    I will go and respond to what I can, but … help?????

    Love, your loyal fan, Melody 😀

    Reply

  43. I have a question I’d love to get your thoughts on, Ragen: how to respond to compliments about weight loss? I weighed myself yesterday for the first time in several months. This corresponds with the time I have been on a medication that seriously suppresses appetite; I rarely eat for pleasure these days, and, while I make sure to eat three meals a day, they are much smaller than my meals used to be, because eating is kind of a chore right now. I have lost about 25 pounds (down to 270 from 296). I expect that, unless this medication side effect eventually wears off, I’ll probably lose some more. Pretty soon people will start noticing–I’ve already gotten a couple of “You look really good!” comments from people who maybe couldn’t put their finger on why I looked better to them.

    Do you have thoughts on a good, fat-positive way to respond to weight-loss related compliments, should they come my way? I could simply be honest: “Yeah, it’s a medication side effect…I expect if I ever go off the meds, I’ll probably go back to my old size.” But I’d love to hear other ideas as well.

    Reply

  44. I found your blog a few days ago and I love it. You really inspire me so much. I’ve only just come across this “new way” (for me) of thinking and living and it really has turned my life upside down. I’ve been struggling with eating disorders pretty much my whole life (I’ll be 31 in a few days) and I’m fat. I’m struggling to accept my body and weight (don’t know what my “real weight” is, the numbers has never been the same more than a few days) but you know what? You and your blog makes it so much easier. THANK YOU!!

    Hugs!
    Sara (from Sweden)

    Reply

    1. Hi Sara!

      Welcome to the blog! (I’m in the US and I love having readers from other countries!) I’m sorry that it’s been just a struggle for you and I’m really glad that you are finding a path to health that works for you. If there is anything that I can do to support you just ask!

      Hugs back!
      ~Ragen

      Reply

  46. I just want to say that you are an amazing person and your blog inspires and encourages me so much.

    Reply

    1. This made me want to punch someone. The part that pissed me off the most was the line about how being fat makes childhood no fun. I was a perfectly happy fat child…until I was told by the other children that I was a horrible person because I was fat. Being treated cruelly by others simply because they cannot accept who you are is what sucks the fun out of being a kid…or an adult for that matter. 😦

      Reply

  49. Why do people waste their miserable little lives saying bad things about other people?
    I am on a dating site. I got a message that a guy sent me a “flirt”. The ‘flirt’ said “u r fat and look like u have downs syndrome please delete ur ad”. First reaction to this? Tears from feeling punched in the gut. Then I started thinking…
    Oh gee, I’m fat? Wow I had no freaking idea you see I have neither looked at myself nor had any physical interaction with my own body for the past 20 yrs of my life. *sarcasm off* Thank you for pointing that out, you gigantic a**hat. ‘Fat’ may be an insult in the mind of many people, but to me (thanks in part to this site), it is simply a statement of fact. When someone says it to me, I know they are usually using it as a ‘bad’ word, but that is their problem. I’ve gone from being hurt to feeling sorry for them because their world is very very small.
    Oh and I see you have also insulted both me and everyone with a particular genetic disorder. So to recap what I understand of your opinions based on your own obvious mental deficiencies: Fat people and/or people with genetic disabilities are unworthy of love and affection and should not waste their time trying to find the same.
    Because obviously everyone is looking for sensitive, thoughtful, wonderful gifts to humanity like this d*** who, instead of thinking “pass” when he saw my photo, wasted precious minutes and the effort of typing to send an insult to a complete stranger.
    Oh this gets better!! When I went back to confirm my quote of the rude and pointless message of Mr. A**hat, he had bothered to send me another message: “u r so large please do not view my profile again thank you” I didn’t even bother with his profile, I just read his message because, um, a**hole? You wrote to me. Clearly you have unresolved issues and a subconscious fixation with voluptuous woman. I am sorry Jeff the Troll but you cannot have me. I do not date below my own species.
    I can’t believe how fast I went from hurt to disgust to bemused pity. Why do these people bother to exist?

    Reply

    1. Ugh, I so hear you on this one. I especially love the doctors who seem to think that it’s their duty to inform me that I’m fat, as though it’s some sort of news. You know, not like I live in this fat body or anything. Not like I’m a member of this society that worships the skinny. Not like I feel shame EVERY TIME I LOOK IN THE MIRROR. Nope, never would have guessed if you hadn’t informed me.

      *dies*

      Reply

  51. I am blown away by reading your hate mail. It actually hurt me and made me sad. I am normal weight what ever normal is in todays world but had to commend you for throwing it all out there and not running and hiding!! To hell with them, I think you are healthy and terrific. I enjoy your attitude and am sad for the sicko’s who have to post such crap to you. Just letting you know people can really be sick, sicker than I expected..

    Reply

  52. I love, love, love this blog. I had never heard of Heath At Every Size but you’ve convinced me that it is the best way (both physically and mentally) to achieve a state of general health, body positivity, and overall self love.

    I’m in my mid twenties and spent years with an eating disorder. I was and still am “thin” by societal standards, but I knew that I wasn’t healthy. I would always leave doctor’s offices smirking when they told me I was in “perfect health” – clearly they weren’t bothered by protruding hip bones, sallow skin, lethargy, depression, moodiness, or general malaise brought on by poor nutrition.

    This blog, which I’ve been reading steadily for the past week or so, has completely changed my outlook on health. It’s like someone flipped a switch that let me in on a secret- Hey, guess what, genius? Being fat isn’t the worst thing in the world. Why did I fear it so much? I’ve spent the last few weeks killing myself on the treadmill and maniacally counting every. single. calorie. that I eat because I gained a pound and a half on a family vacation. Why would I f*ck with my body SO HARD just to be – smaller?

    So I want to thank you for your endeavors toward loving one’s body just because it’s your BODY and it does amazing things, every second of every day. I’m going to make a concerted effort to practice HAES and recognize that health and beauty are one and the same, and neither health nor beauty are weight related.

    Best,
    L

    Reply

  53. Hi Ragen,

    I’m an 18 year old college freshman. In the past, I have struggled with an eating disorder. I recently and coincidentally came to the conclusion to live by an idea similar to HAES before discovering your blog. I have never been large/fat (though I have been bullied for it..), and yet, your words inspire me daily to continue with my new outlook. I think your reasoning and writing abilities are superb. Really, thank you so much for your efforts and contributions to society. Thank you for having continuously picked yourself up every time the bastards got you down.

    Rock on,

    Jen.

    Reply

  54. Dear Ragen,

    The whole question of “being fat in the public eye” comes up often for bellydancers. Fat bellydancers find it very hard to get professional dance jobs, for example. However, many dance troupes and amateur organizations welcome dancers of all sizes, and usually fellow dancers are supportive.

    Usually… but not always. You might care to check out this thread on the Bhuz board, which is mostly populated by bellydancers. Someone was horrified (!) to see a fat dancer (!) in a troupe on stage. Pages later, the conflict still rages.
    http://www.bhuz.com/belly-dance-beauty-costuming/69480-sensitive-obesity-issue.html
    Luckily somebody has already brought up HAES!
    Thank you for all you do,
    Tiger

    Reply

  56. “It is wrong to find a group of people who are identifiable based on how they look, calculate their supposed cost on society, suggest that it’s not okay for them to exist, and then declare war and attempt to rid the world of them.”

    Great! I stole that paragraph for my signature on a couple different websites!

    Reply

  57. Hi Ragen,

    I want to tell you that I adore you! Your blog is helping me so much right now.

    I was average weight until about eight years ago. My partner of 26 years is a beautiful supersize woman who told me about fat acceptance when we first got together. She has serious health problems and a lot of PTSD about the health system. Dealing with doctors and family/friends who blame her for her conditions is really hard. For a long time I felt alone with my fears and defenses against fat hatred. Then I found your blog, and it (and the HAES movement in general) have helped me feel sane and not isolated. I’ve even started ninja posting through Rolls Not Trolls, and feel empowered. Thank you SO much for the work you do.

    We have a question that I don’t know where to post or ask; I thought this might be a start or you might have recommendations. We are shopping for a new van, and are having trouble figuring out which ones might work for a very large person. (Some issues: roof swooping too low for her to bend to get in, front seat needing to be moved back and have space to do that, front consoles taking up too much foot space…) We’d love to know what other supersize people are driving and how it’s working for them. Ideas? Anybody else reading this want to chime in? Anywhere else it would be appropriate to post this?

    Thanks so much!

    Do Mi Stauber

    dmstauber@gmail.com

    Reply

  59. It really is strange how people get so upset about weight. It almost seems like some men and boys think it is every woman’s job to maintain themselves in a way that is sexually attractive to them. It seems to me that many women struggle with their weight when trying to take care of the the demanding job of keeping a husband and children. No one is nurturing her and the more she gains the less she is nurtured.
    It is better to be kind to people rather than dish out a ‘witty’ insult. If people tried to be polite, kind and just get along rather than stir the mud we would live in a better world.
    People who say cruel things about someone who is overweight, fat, obese, voluptuous or whatever you want to call it must be trying to cover up their own insecurities by attacking.
    Anyone who takes the time to write you hate mail must have a serious personality disorder. Given the choice of hanging around a mean spiteful fit person or a fat person of any size I would pick the fat person with no hesitation any day!

    Reply

  60. Weird query: I was looking over old posts and in December 2008, I saw an article on the AARP site that would really help me. Unfortunately, the link doesn’t bring me to that article. Can you at least tell me the title and author so I can find it myself?

    Reply

  61. Bravo! As a physician, I have often encountered overweight patients who live healthy lifestyles and are frustrated by an inability to lose weight. How freeing it would be if I had said simply, be healthy at the weight you are, or even better, be a Size Activist.
    I have learned a valuable lesson from you and will bring this new perspective to my struggling patients.
    Again, Bravo.

    Dr. Kim M.
    Cincinnati

    Reply

    1. Dr. Kim,

      Thank you so much for being willing to consider other possibilities and treatments. It’s hard to express how much it means to people of size to work with a doctor who is willing to focus on our health instead of just diagnosing us as fat and prescribing weight loss.

      Thank you!

      ~Ragen

      Reply

  62. Hey Ragen, any news on when your book will begin shipping? I see it’s still listed as “pre-order” the book….I’ve done so and am eagerly awaiting it!

    Reply

    1. YES! I JUST saw where it’s ALMOST TIME!!! I’m so excited I could SQUEE!!! I cannot tell you, how much following your blog has helped me, to not only accept myself and really LOVE my BODY but also to teach my child about healthy at every size, and to be able to intelligently speak up for my rights and those of others. I’m also able to encourage others to speak lovingly about themselves. I also share links to your blog regularly on my bellydancing website. 🙂 Much love to you.

      Reply

    2. Thanks for your pre-order and your patience! Per UPS that books should be here on Monday night, if that holds I’ll pick them up and try to get them all shipped on Tuesday!

      ________________________________

      Reply

  63. I just wanted to let you know that it was this blog that helped my personal trainer understand that my goal was to get fit, *not* to lose weight. Thank you!

    Reply

  64. Just heard your piece on Seattle’s KUOW (94.9). Thanks for giving voice to the only group that is still fair game for discrimination and ridicule: fat people. How? In hiring practices; forced early retirement; cruel jokes, satire, stereotyping in advertising; medical care; and myriad other injustices too numerous (and depressing) to list. I’m 66, 5’2″ and had I not spent 9 months in the hospital (5 surgeries), I would still weigh exactly the same as you. I managed quite well because I was blessed – with talent, confidence, a good sense of humor. So are you! And – you’re courageous! Keep on truckin’, Baby!
    Melinda

    Reply

  65. Ran into this at work today. They are claiming it as a treatment for a certain type of cancer, but clearly salivating at the prospect of possible off-label prescribing for weight loss… love how they say the first patient has “been dosed.”

    ANTI-OBESITY INJECTION, ADIPOTIDE, IN PHASE I TRIALPASADENA, Calif.—Arrowhead Research Corporation, announced that the first patient has been dosed in a Phase 1 clinical trial with Adipotide, a new class of treatment for obesity. Adipotide, formerly known as Prohibitin-TP01, is a synthetic peptide that targets a protein on the surface of bloodhttp://www.renalbusiness.com/news/2012/07/anti-obesity-injection-adipotide-in-phase-i-trial.aspx

    Reply

  66. Hi Ragen,

    I just came across your blog a couple weeks ago and I love it. I’ve been thinking more and more about fat acceptance and activism lately, especially after I saw Charlotte Cooper here in Toronto. I’m been fighting through my fear a little lately to do small pieces of activism but so much of the work is internal, unlearning a lifetime of internalized fat oppression…

    I just joined the YMCA gym recently after being inspired by what you wrote about your fitness, strength and health. Going to the gym is a little scary. And I don’t want family or coworkers to know that I’ve joined because they’ll be all excited assuming I’m trying to lose weight! But what I’ve read on your blog has helped me to separate fitness from weight loss, so that I can pursue fitness without getting into the horrible weight loss cycle again.

    So, the YMCA gives you four appointments with a personal trainer when you join. I decided to sign up for on because I don’t have a clue how to use the machines or how to be safe. First, the trainer tried to take my blood pressure and pulse but couldn’t fit the thing around my upper arm. He spent a couple minute trying to do it around my wrist before saying that it was impossible to do it there. I do have fat upper arms of course! I’m fat. But I’m a “size 18”. I highly doubt that I have the largest arms at the gym, and my doctor never has trouble measuring on my upper arm! So that annoyed me right there.

    Then he asked me about my goals. I told him that I would like to do some weight lifting stuff and get strong, but that I also have a pretty weak heart right now so I’d like to do cardio to improve my endurance. He kept pushing for more specific answers but I think I was being pretty clear. Then he said that before I can work towards those goals, my first goal has to be weight loss.

    I told him, “No. Weight loss is not my goal, and you can’t tell me what my goal is. I want to get stronger and I don’t need to lose weight before I can do that.” I find it really hard to assert myself in these situations so I very nearly teared up (which is so frustrating, because I am angry, not sad or hurt)! He insisted that I cannot really build muscle while there is still too much fat around it. This is bullshit, right? That makes NO sense to me. He also said I need my heart to be in better shape before I can really build muscles, so I have to do cardio. I told him that strengthening my heart was already one of my goals! He said, “Well, if you do cardio you will lose weight.” Then he just talked at me some more about how I need my weight and height to be proportionate and how I also can’t be fit without good nutrition. Of course the only reason my nutrition ever became poor was because of dieting and binging and I usually eat much better than plenty of thin people, but I digress. He ended up showing me quite a few machines and strength exercises to do so I was entirely friendly with him by the end… But I don’t think I want to book the rest of the free appointments.

    I know this was really really long and I totally understand if you don’t have time to respond, but it would be great if you could give me any advice on dealing with this shit. What can I tell someone who tells me that I need to lose weight before I can work on real strength and fitness? I just want to be a strong fat woman!

    With respect and admiration,

    Sarah

    Reply

    1. Hi Sarah,

      Sorry to take so long to respond. Your trainer is an idiot. This is absolutely the most ridiculous thing that I’ve ever heard. I would insist on a trainer who is not incompetent.

      Ok, now that I’ve got that out of my system: I would ask him to explain his theory that you can’t build muscle with fat around it from a physiological standpoint. Spoiler alert: Your muscles grow through the process of your damaging them through work (like weight lifting) and your body repairing them. Even if weight loss actually worked, there is no reason in the world that people should wait to grow muscle until they lose fat. While visible fat can affect the ability to see muscle definition that’s simply aesthetic. Ask him to explain Holly Mangold and Cheryl Haworth – Olympic weight lifters who are fat.

      You can also check out Jeanette DePatie online (www.TheFatChick.com) she is a personal trainer, fat woman and fat activist who offers online and in person assistance – she is a good friend of mine and one of the co-founders of the Fat Fatties Forum (www.fitfatties.com) which has, among other cool things, a strength athletes group where you could ask your question and get a weight neutral answer and advice.

      Hope that helps!

      ~Ragen

      Reply

  67. I just saw some commercials on TV in CA from a group called Champions for Change. Their website is very positive about issues of access and healthy habits, but the commercials show parents saying “It is hard to say no to my child when they want high fat foods” but that they will be strong and do it because they don’t want their child to be obese or be “teased about their weight.”
    This implies that if your child is teased by a bully it is your fault for being a bad parent and making them fat. Apparently, the parents of the bully have no responsibility to teach their child good manners and respect for people of all colors, shapes, and sizes. And apparently, the reason people are fat is bad parenting.
    I was wondering if you have seen these commercials and if you might post a wonderful and articulate response.

    Reply

    1. Hi Mara,

      I just saw one of these commercials and I might well post a response. My biggest concern was the comment about not feeding kids high fat foods so that they wouldn’t be teased. Sadly, the evidence shows that may not prevent your kid from being fat and if your attitude is that fat kids are a sign of failed parenting and deserve to be teased then you are setting your kid up for a very, very difficult childhood devoid of the parental support that will help them be mentally healthy enough to deal with the prejudices of a very screwed up world. Being thin is not the cure for social stigma, losing weight is not the cure for social stigma. Ending social stigma is the cure for social stigma.

      ~Ragen

      Reply

  68. Dear Ragen,

    I’m not exactly the kind of a person this blog is probably meant to – I’m thin, have never had weight issues (apart from being underweight for a long time because of anorexia) and have never judged overweight people – but I’ve spent hours reading your blog these past few days and just had to say that you might have changed my life. And definitely for the better. What an amazing person you are with such wonderful insights! You’re such an inspiration when it comes to loving yourself and your body and treating your body as a friend instead of an enemy.

    Thank you so much for being you and putting yourself out there like that to help others and to change the world – I cannot even imagine how much hate you have to face and how frustrating that must be at times. But please know that you’re doing so much good and changing lives. Thank you.

    Love,
    Anni

    Reply

    1. Anni,

      Thank you so much for sharing your story. You are one of the people who this blog is meant for – our culture’s single stereotype of photoshop perfection creates suffering and difficulty for women of all sizes. I don’t know where you are in your journey with anorexia but I wish you the absolute best and thank you for being part of size acceptance, I really appreciate you 🙂

      ~Ragen

      Reply

  70. Interesting article in today’s Daily Mail UK entitled ‘You can be fat and fit’ a real positive note was that some clinical results seem to indicate that obese people recovered from such things as heart surgery better than thinner people and recommending weight loss post surgery would do more harm than good. The comments left so far are positive. It’s good to see media support for once!

    Reply

    1. This is both encouraging and annoying for me – I had some gall bladder trouble last year and it turns out I have a deformed duct that should be removed – but the surgeon I consulted with said he didn’t want to operate on me unless I lost 50 lbs first. This consult happened before I discovered Ragen’s blog and FA, so I didn’t have the wherewithal to politely ask him “Um, WTF? Where did you pull that magic number from? Can you prove that the surgery will be safer if I lose 50 lbs? What if I lost more than 50, would that make the surgery even safer or more dangerous? What are the odds if I only lose 49? Haven’t you successfully operated on anyone heavier than me? If you haven’t, why the hell should I let you do my surgery?”…and other important questions. 😛 *sigh*

      Reply

  71. I just read about your experience with the celeb trainer and wanted to say thank you for lending your voice and experience to the world around you despite of the Jackass opinions others have. I’m over weight, obese if I look at the BMI chart and the only thing worrying about my weight has ever done is make me larger, more stressed out, and unhappy with my life. I have many things to be thankful for and I feel blessed. As I sit here weeks away from having my first baby, I think about how I want my baby girl to experience life and happiness. I never want her to know the pain of having a mother that hates her body and in turns hates others’ bodies too. I never want my child to feel the need to turn to food for constant comfort or worse, eating disorders because it’s the only “control” you feel you have. I never want her to feel that pain like I did. I never want my beautiful and perfect baby girl to think she is limited by the physical- her body, her face, the lust of perfection in an imperfect world. I’ve spent too many minutes, days, and years wrapped up in a number and trying to be smaller. All I needed to do was to take care of myself, let the drama go, let the diets go, let the unrealistic expectations fall to the wayside. What I needed was to be my own biggest fan and get out in the world and live, experience. As a quote from Dove Dark Chocolates says, “calories only exist if you count them”. There are bigger things, literally, to focus on in life and being healthy, happy,well-rounded, and full of spirit is where it’s at. I cannot be defined my the size of my ass or the number on the back of my jeans unless I allow others to do so. Thank you once again, for this was a time I really needed that refresher course. It’s not easy being a larger girl, pregnant, and having the medical world constantly up your butt about your weight and the implications that has on delivery (or should I say, the supposed implications, bc according to the math, I a, 100% healthy).

    PS- Debra Mazda (ShapelyGirlFitness.com) is a Size-Friendly Personal Trainer and Fitness Expert. She works specifically with larger women in helping them to overcome the stima of fat = unhealthy. She believes fitness comes in all shapes and sizes. Perhaps she can be added to your list of resources for blog readers.

    Reply

  73. Hi Ragen, I just got your latest email newsletter and it reminded me to send you a note. I recently finished “Fat: An Owner’s Manual” and it was really great. Your combination of scientific facts and statistical analysis with self-esteem advice and humor really works. I feel inspired and empowered. I have two book club meetings this week, and plan to recommend your book at both of them. In one of my book clubs, we are discussing Caitlin Moran’s “How to be a woman”. I felt that she was also trying to inspire people to be happy as they are, but fell short compared to you, because she still falls into disdain for her body. I hope your book becomes widely read and that more people can come to see the wisdom of SA and HAES. Thanks and keep up the good work! Cara

    Reply

    1. Hi Cara,

      Thank you so much for your kind words and for recommending my book to your book clubs, I never thought of that happening and it’s kind of awesome to think that a group of people might use this book as a framework to have a discussion of these issues. Thanks again!

      ~Ragen

      Reply

  74. I just wanted to take a moment to thank you profusely for writing about your experiences and how we, the people who care about discrimination, can stop being a part of the bigotry. Many of the things you write about I agree with whole-heartedly, and many others allow to me think about things in a new light. Since I started thinking about discrimination against gays in university, it’s been a long, slow road to becoming a champion of equality. I’m fighting my programming every step of the way.

    More personally, I am a slim 28 year old woman, and I am profoundly unhealthy despite my best efforts based on the knowledge I had. Only last week did all the pieces finally come together after 14 years of pain and misery (that’s half my life). Now I can finally make the pro-active choices that are right for my healthy living.

    I wrote about my experiences today and cited you as a reference re: size as a non-measure of wellness.

    http://binarycatfish.blogspot.ca/2012/09/confessions-of-unhealthy-skinny-woman.html

    I hope more people realize in the coming years that being young and slim and (mostly) eating what is considered to be a balanced diet does not automatically make a person healthy and vivacious.

    Reply

    1. Hi Alexus,

      Thank you for your kind words and for being brave enough to tell your story. I’m so sorry that you’ve struggled with health and I’m really glad that you are finding a path that works for you. Rock on!

      ~Ragen

      Reply

  75. Dear Mrs Chastain,

    I signed the petition regarding the BNY/Disney campaign and thought about a lot of things. I feared about Bloomingdales slimming down Shrek to fit in the garb they offer or even Lord & Taylor shrinking Bug Bunny’s feet to fit in their shoes.

    But I also thought in the positive: I wondered if they had done this differently so that all body sizes (and other diversities) would have felt more inclusive. If they did, they would had treated us with a parade of Vinylmation figurines festooned in lights instead of “stylized” Disney Characters strutting the runways. I even wrote a piece about it (http://socyberty.com/issues/what-barneys-new-york-and-disney-can-learn-from-electric-holiday-mistakes).

    I hope this petition is a great success. I’m both anj avid Disneyphile and a person trying to lose weight healthfully. I signed it not to boycott Disney, but to tell them that they should have done it better and made it more size-neutral.

    Reply

  76. I just bought your dvds. I’ve been reading you for several months now, and I’m just blown away. I have a problem though with my parents (yes, still living at home) and they watched the Weight of the Nation series on tv in a rerun on HBO Canada. They wanted me to watch it, to prove to me that being fat is evil. Of course I didn’t watch it, so they yell at me for it.

    I’m wondering how I respond to that harrassment? I’ve been anorexic/dieting/starving since I was 10, and have only had 1 yr of recovery (non-professional kind though). I’m 30 now. I also have PCOS. When I was starving before, I wanted to kill myself. I don’t want to have to live through that again. 😦

    Reply

    1. Hi Mich,

      It super sucks when this kind of pressure is coming from your parents. There are couple of ways that I might respond to this kind of harrassment,the first would be very direct: “It’s not ok for you to talk to me about my health, weight, or food. If you choose not to respect this boundary I will ignore you and go to another room.” Or you could try a bit of explanation “I am happy pursuing health rather than thinness, in the past my pursuit of thinness lead me to thoughts of suicide and I’m not going to go back to that place. I’m making intelligent, evidence-based decisions about my health, I am happy with the choices and outcomes. This is my body and these choices are not up for discussion or debate.”

      Does that help? Let me know if there is anything that I can do to support you.

      ~Ragen

      Reply

  77. I just found your blog and wanted to tell you how much I enjoy it. I’m skinny, and it always makes me sad when my curvier friends talk about how badly they want to lose weight, because – and I’m speaking from experience, here – dropping a couple of sizes doesn’t solve all your problems. Wearing size 00 clothes doesn’t get you that job you want, or that guy, or that vacation spot you’re dying to go to; confidence and self-assurance do.

    I’m all for supporting people if they decide to change something about themselves, but only if it’s something *they* want to do, and not something society tells them they should.

    Reply

  78. Hi Ragen,

    I am halfway through your book and I wanted to thank you for writing it. I have been dieting since I was eight years old. I’m 37 years old now. That’s 25 years of being at war with my body. I have spent so long hating my body because it was fat and thinking that no one would ever love me because of my size. I have spent so much time being afraid that I would be fat shamed and recently I have spent a lot of time being anxious because someone close to me has manipulated me into believing that my weight is going to lead to an early death. Thank you for this book. Because of this book and Lesley Kinzel’s Two Whole Cakes, I have finally seen that my body is awesome even though it is fat. I have finally seen that I can’t love myself if I hate my body. And guess what? Once I stopped hating my body and thinking that I’m worthless because of my fat, I haven’t had to binge eat to smother my pain. Thank you so much for this book and the work that you do.

    With love,
    Karen Walcott

    Reply

  79. Can you do a post on the oft repeated assertion that because someone is fat that their heart has to work harder to pump blood to the rest of their body and that one day their heart will just give up? I have heard that from so many places.

    Reply

  80. I love your blog and applaud your work. I am trying to read your stuff regularly. I am a 38 year old former gymnast and dancer…I still love dancing….who has struggled with Anorexia since I was 11. I started reading your blog after I saw your minnie mouse petition…love it. I am still struggling…I have relapsed three times since having my daughter 9 years ago. I am not even a big person…but I am so afraid of being considered fat by anyone….so I turture myself. I am hoping that reading your blog along with all my therapy work and mindfullness will help me overcome the fat phobia that has caused me to torment myself for most of my life. I want to liberate myself from this for myself and my beautiful daughter. Thank you for your work!

    Reply

  81. I just wanted to thank you, for both the information and theory you offer, but also for the scripts–the “here’s what you can say in these situations.”

    I’m not a very confident person in social situations, and without scripts, I tend to just babble and get angry. Today marked my first time drawing a boundry about weight-related issues

    A woman I come into contact with occasionally through work regularly comments that I’m losing weight. I’m not, and I’m not sure where she gets the idea, but today I was able to calmly and kindly say that I know she means well, but I don’t like when people talk about weight.

    She agreed, and it all worked out well!

    So thank you for all your help!

    Reply

  83. Hi Ragen!

    I am so very disheartened right now! It’s getting worse out there for us! I just saw a Coke commercial saying that WE ALL NEED TO WORK TOGETHER TO FIGHT OBESITY! It’s a crisis! The commercial went on to say that, quite simply, if you take in more calories in than what you use up – you will gain weight! Really???? I was watching a talk show and some scientist says that fat people need to be shamed and ridiculed. that’s the only way we can be made to lose weight. we”re considered irresponsible, disgusting, not worthy to breathe. I have been fat for my entire life – 50 years now. I have never seen this much hatred toward the obese. With the government ramping up to control healthcare, we could be in real trouble. How do we fight this? I am going to email Coca cola and tell them that I will never buy another product of theirs. I don’t know what else to do. Thanks for giving us a space to unload!

    Reply

  84. I realize the pie chart has probably been up for a bit, but my stumbling on it when I did gave me a much needed giggle. As funny as it is, it’s also been useful when explaining to “well meaning” family that their trying to be supportive would work a lot better if it didn’t come with assumptions. I’m 50, in perimenopause, have an irregular heartbeat (not related to weight, had it all my life), fibromyalgia, and arthritis, none of which you can tell by looking at me. Ok, maybe the perimenopause, I have learned to embrace the silver in my hair. 😉 Thanks for being here, it’s good to know there’s people who actually get it.

    Kat

    Reply

  85. Hi, Ragen! Long time reader, first time commenter. Thank you for existing! You’ve made me so much more confident to not put myself down as a plus-size Irish dancer.

    I’m actually doing my first public defence against size bigotry on Facebook right now, and it’s thanks to your page I have the words to articulate it now. I’m finding it hard this time around to easily find all the articles you reference in your various posts. Is there any way you could maybe sometime in the future post a page to the side of your site, where we can see a bibliography or sorts to the studies you reference? That would be so extrememly helpful!

    Again, just a suggestion. Thank you for being there to help encourage the HAES revolution! Rock on!

    Cheers,
    Susan

    Reply

    1. Thanks Susan,

      Thanks for the suggestion and the comment. It’s something that I’m working on for the next book (The War on Obesity: A Battle Guide for the Fat Side) and when it’s done I’ll be putting it up on this site as well!

      ~Ragen

      Reply

  87. Hi Ragen –
    Such a fan of your work and so grateful to you for doing it.
    Was just listening to this Freakonomics Podcast: http://www.freakonomics.com/2013/03/27/100-ways-to-fight-obesity-a-new-freakonomics-radio-podcast/
    I’m a fan of the podcast so I was disappointed in 99% of the thinking here. Was wishing they’d put you on that panel and wondered if perhaps you might find a way to address some of what they talk about there with them (my dream) or here with your readership.
    Keep up the amazing work. You’re doing so much for the world by doing it.

    All the Best,
    Emily

    Reply

  88. Hi Ragen! I read your blog avidly, and it’s been making a world of difference as I’ve been starting on the road from just fat acceptance to fat advocacy, and I refer to your blog a lot on mine, too.

    As it is nearly summer, I have decided I would like a swimsuit. Of course, as I have the audacity to be a 46DDD, the only swimsuits Lane Bryant makes with any built-in anything to keep me from falling out of it come in the exciting color of black. This makes me sad because I had a birthday gift card I wanted to spend on a swimsuit (well, on some of a swimsuit; good god, they’re like $120 total!) and I want something outrageous and colorful and preferably something that will stay on my boobs where I put them without needing to be hiked up all the time. I have a halter top that ties behind my neck and oh god it hurts after a while, because, well, 46DDDs.

    Do you have any recommendations on where I could find swimwear that fits me, keeps things where they belong, comes in colors OTHER than black, and preferably won’t break the bank?

    Reply

    1. You don’t mention what size the rest of you is, which would make a big difference in finding a suitable suit.
      Also, I sympathize about the halter tops – I hate them even though my bust size is rather small. They’re not particularly comfortable on those of us with a long torso.
      I’m not a fan of black swimwear either, unless I intend to swim at a funeral.

      Reply

      1. Oh, oops! I wear a size 24ish, and my cup size is 46DDD. Everything Lane Bryant has that has a built-in bra stops at 44DDD, except for, you guessed it, black. I guess that two inches is just TOO MUCH BOOB for color?

        Reply

        1. Best option I’ve seen is loveyourpeaches.com, where they do custom swimwear for larger sizes. Just tell them your concerns and I’m sure they could whip up something for you. Good luck!

          Reply

  89. Trigger warning for unsavoury discussion of weight loss and mental illness, with a generous serving of “you’re not overweight because of your meds, only because you don’t know(?) cruciferous vegetables and are lazy”.
    Please comment on this. I’m not sure whether I’m more disgusted by shoddily presented science or pathetic journalism.

    Reply

  91. Hey Ragen – I found your site because I was searching for plus size dance wear. My son talked me into taking an adult jazz/ballet class at the local studio where he does musical theatre. He told me that if he can get up there and sing and dance, then I can at least just dance around. So I thought about it a bit and did some research and bam – here was your blog and you know what – He’s totally right! I love him and he’s the biggest champion a mom could ever have. I love your blog. I love your attitude. I love your intelligence and spunk. I’m now in the third month of my dance class and they’re even putting us in the recital with all the kids in a month. I’ve learned a ballet routine and a jazz routine. I’ve never taken dance before in my life and I just LOVE it. It’s the highlight of my week. My instructor and the lady in the class with me (unfortunately it’s just two of us now – people and their commitment issues) are just so awesome. I can’t even begin to tell you. They’re bother taller and thinner than me, but I don’t feel anything but love and support from them. They never assume I can’t do something and you know what – there are things that I can do better! Yeah! I wish I could bottle this class and give it to everyone. I wish I could bottle you up and give you to everyone as well. Thank you for all you do.

    Reply

  92. Hi Ragen, I love your blog, and read regularly. I have a question. I’m a teacher doing a unit on media bias and stereotyping with my high school English class. I’d like to spend a few days on sizeism, but I’m not sure where to start. Could you give me a suggestion of one or two of your blog posts or else some other article that I could ask my students to read as a starting point for our class discussion? I need some really introductory material–most of them had never heard of sizeism before today and hold all the predictable misconceptions. Anything with a scientific study in it would be great.

    Thanks!
    –Ruth

    Reply

    1. Hi Ruth,

      Sorry to take so long to answer you. I think it’s awesome that you are covering this in your class. Here are a couple posts that might help. If there is anything that I can do to support you just let me know, you can also e-mail me at ragen at danceswithfat dot org.

      https://danceswithfat.wordpress.com/2012/03/20/are-fat-people-really-oppressed/
      https://danceswithfat.wordpress.com/2012/06/24/whats-this-thin-privilege-thing/

      If these don’t work just let me know and I’ll keep looking!
      ~Ragen

      Reply

      1. Thanks, Ragen! I did a bit on “headless fatties” in the media already, and my students really were surprised to realize just how dehumanizing these images are. These articles will be a great next step. I’m thinking of showing my students some documentaries next (I’ve got some lined up on racism and sexism in the media already.) Weren’t you part of a documentary on sizeism or a related topic? What the title?

        Thanks!

        Ruth

        Reply

        1. Hi Ruth,

          Wow, I wish you had been my teacher! Anyway, yes, I was in a documentary called “America the Beautiful 2 – The Thin Commandments” that had a strong focus on issues with the USE of BMI, and a focus on Health at Every Size – it’s available on Netflix and about to come out on DVD. Let me know if there is anything else that I can do to help!

          ~Ragen

          Reply

          1. Thanks! I really appreciate your activism, and your clear and non-judgmental writing! I’ll watch for that documentary.
            –Ruth

            Reply

  93. Dear Reagan,

    I wanted to thank you for making this blog. I find myself reading your posts when I’m feeling down (whether it be about my weight or something unrelated) and always feel a bit more perky and optimistic after reading.

    Thanks Again,
    Michelle

    Reply

  94. Hey, I just wanted to pop back in an apologize for spelling your name wrong in my last post Ragen. Poor proofreading on my part.

    Michelle

    Reply

  95. Hi Ragen,

    I really look forward to reading your blog. Thanks for writing!

    One thing I’m really concerned about is employer driven wellness programs. We have them at my work, but so far they are completely voluntary and have no financial impact on employees. I’m worried that is going to change and am wondering what can be done to stop it. I found this article and I couldn’t believe they would make employees do this, and BASED ON BMI rather than actual health. Although, I’m pretty sure I don’t want my company having access to my numbers in order to decide whether or not I need to walk. In any case, employers dictating my health choices is just wrong. What can be done to stop it?

    http://www.uofmhealth.org/news/archive/201305/5000-steps-day-avoid-higher-health-insurance-costs-when

    Melody

    Reply

  96. Thank you for this blog. I have hated myself and my body for years and years, even when I was 145 lbs at 5’6″. I am tired of hating myself because of my size, even when I work out 4-6 days a week and eat less than many thin people around me (but all fat people are just lazy and never work out…right? Ha.).

    My goal for this year was to lead a healthier lifestyle (instead of lose weight, which has been my New Years Resolution for who knows how many years now) and learn to love myself and my body as it is. I’ve been doing well with the first goal, not well at all with the second. This has reminded me that I am defined by more than my dress size or weight and I shouldn’t hate myself for not being what society idealizes!

    Reply

  98. I would like to share your blog on 386,… In its entirety on my blog, with your permission. It was so insightful and right in line with my personal journey.

    Reply

  100. I wanted to just drop you a line to say THANK YOU for writing such a well-put-together, supportive blog. I also just wanted to share my story.

    During my childhood and into my teen years I was a dancer, and a pretty good one at that (not to brag or anything). I was the girl they put at the point in the formation, the one who was encouraged to step up to the front of the class to demonstrate. I was also relatively thin (though still “clinically overweight”) at the time – and then sometime around when I turned 17, I started gaining weight. I ended up taking a break from dance for a year, and by the time I came back I was 60 pounds heavier than when I danced before.

    I tried going back to classes, but a peculiar thing happened. Suddenly I wasn’t the girl people wanted to see in the front. I was stared at, and for whatever reason, I was treated as if I was a novice. Rustiness is a factor, but the way the instructors and the dancers reacted to me was way beyond rustiness. It was as if they felt they needed to teach me how to lace up my jazz shoes. When I insisted that I was actually quite skilled at dance and had been athletic for many years, there were smirks of disbelief all around. Surely such a fat girl was never serious about athletics, after all. I left that dance class in tears, and I haven’t gone back… I’ve been hiding away, dancing in my living room for several years now. And no, I haven’t gotten any thinner.

    Your blog and videos have me inspired. I miss learning new choreography and honing my skills. Hang the skinny girls with their pre-conceived notions about my fitness. I can swim a mile in one go, I can run a couple miles at a time, and by gods, I still remember how to dance.

    Reply

    1. It’s NOT just you. It IS hypocritical. They even start off by saying that the reason they think “fat talk” is bad is because it “gets in the way of managing weight.” So… we’re supposed to stop fat shaming ourselves so that we’ll have a better chance of losing weight. Ugh!!!

      Reply

  102. Hi Ragen & all you great bloggers, was thinking about your post, “Why can’t you just” and I was thinking this morning(Sunday) munching on my bagel with chocolate spread&banana, that I’m pretty comfortable in my body most of the time. Then I tune in to a news/political programme, where they were doing a newspaper review, one of the women is a very middle class journalist and writer, who lives in an expensive part of London, in fact, she’s the sister of London Mayor, Boris Johnson, some many have heard of him? Anyway, the subject was people in poverty, really struggling, this is an ongoing, worsening situation here in the UK, thanks to some awful “Austerity” and mismanagement & worse of the economy and strangely enough, the poor and disabled people are mostly being hit numerous times with this.

    It seems Rachel had been seen “slumming it” in a poor part of London and she had the audacity to say she was “doing poverty porn” , seeing how awful the lives of these people were and imagine that real people lived like this. The others on the panel got involved and we had the usual nonsense they speak, when they have no idea what they’re talking about as these people have never experienced long term money problems. But what I found even more disturbing(as if that wasn’t enough!) was it then went on to “these people are eating bad, cheap food, like pizza and stuff you can microwave and that’s why we are having a major obesity crisis”!!! Then on a male panel member went on about the price of beef meat, I then turned over as I couldn’t bear it any longer!!

    So is food and obesity levels going to be the main talking point of rich people looking down on “poor people” and how can they be saved from themselves???

    Reply

  103. Ragen — as I evolve as a woman and as a doctor, your site, your words, and your videos are such a lifeline for me! I can’t tell you how much body shame is thrown at students in medical school, and actively encouraged to be passed on to our patients!

    Anyhow, I love the fit fatties forum, and I love the idea of achievements to celebrate. Have you thought about having a medal produced (à la the virtual runs you can do online and order a medal) about transforming your body into love of your body? Kind of to go along with your DIY decathalon — set your own goal for fun and healthy movement or your own goal for healthy self-image development, and earn the medal!

    I would totally buy one, and it could help fund your site.

    Reply

    1. First of all, thank you so much for your kind words about my work, and thank you SO MUCH for being a doctor who is opting out of body shame as a medical treatment! The medal is a really cool idea, it may fit in with some ideas I’ve been tossing around. I’ll definitely keep it in mind and thanks again!!!!

      ~Ragen

      Reply

  104. http://theferrett.livejournal.com/1908126.html?nc=25#comments

    Discussion of a recent bit of trollage where someone took photographs of men whose asscracks were showing at Magic tournament and publicized them.

    This is a matter of body-shaming (that side is covered eloquently at the link), of course, but there’s also the practical issue of t-shirts (and possibly other shirts) which aren’t sized to fit long-bodied men, especially long-bodied men who aren’t especially thin. It’s not that the men are unusually sloppy, it’s that their clothes don’t work for them.

    Reply

  105. I just adore you. I could and should at some point elaborate, but for now I’ll just say I have not been able to shut up about these issues since I started reading your blog. It’s like it’s set me on fire — I work in healthcare and spend most of the rest of my time at an MMA gym, and I’m getting a real painful look at how everyone propagates this cruel system all the time. I want to stop being a part of the problem and start fixing this. Thank you.

    Reply

  106. Astonished to read this latest suggestion by a medical person in our NHS (National Health Service) in relation to private companies trying to muscle in on this and some bright spark suggestion making people pay £10 a month charge(about $15-17?) even though we pay tax and national insurance for it too,

    I read with interest your article on a potential £10 per month membership for the NHS. As a surgeon in the NHS, one of the major issues I face with planned and emergency surgery is obesity. Most obese patients are aware of the health consequences of their obesity; however, they don’t seem to know of the hazards they face for abdominal surgery. Simply moving them on and off an operating tables can be hazardous for the staff alone. The risks of surgery and post-operative complications can lead to a prolonged recovery with a risk of major disability. Perhaps there should be an increased membership fee in line with BMI?
    Kathryn McCarthy
    Consultant surgeon, Bristol

    • Nice juxtaposition of headlines on page 2 on Monday: “Pay £10 a month to use the NHS” and “Poorest homes face £120 council tax rise as safety net goes”.
    Jeanne Warren
    Garsington, Oxfordshire

    On top of this today in the news is yet another story on health, I think from scientists, but who knows or cares, most of us just get sick of all the “We know best and are now telling you what you need to eat/do, to stay healthy (also usually thinness/losing weight comes into it somewhere,

    Instead of “Eating your 5 fruit and vegetables a day” to be healthy, this is thought not to be enough and it should be at least 7, if not 10!! Yet a GP (general Doctor) who is on a news channel once a week, said she didn’t trust this information because they don’t know what evidence they are taking into account, if people are admitting their real eating habits etc. My other fave reason she gave was that the people who genuinely said they already did eat this, would be “healthy living&quite fit anyway”!!! Read into that what you will??

    Marion, UK

    Reply

  107. This Dear Abby was in my mail this morning. I like it!

    DEAR ABBY: I’m in my 50s and overweight. I work hard, eat three meals a day and am — more or less — healthy except for sore feet after work. I’m aware of the medical warnings. Who isn’t? But I have decided to accept myself as I am, relax and be happy.

    For years I have been hard on myself for not being slim. This is me in my 50s. I don’t expect myself to be slim like I was in my 20s. Now I can smile, breathe easier, have a good time, and finally buy the new clothes I have put off buying until I was thinner. My new spirit is weightless and my new attitude has made my life more meaningful. Any thoughts? — LIVING FREE AT LAST

    DEAR LIVING FREE: Only this, that we all have choices to make about our health, what is important to us and how we want to live our lives. You have made yours, and at this point it appears to have been the right one for you. May it ever be thus.

    Reply

  108. I recently received through my letterbox at home the Spring newsletter from what’s known here as our local county (State where you are) authority, Norfolk County Council.

    They have a a page in it entitled, “Health”, subtitled, “Living Well”, it says this is about “local services for a healthier, happier you”. But as seems to be the norm now, in our obsessed culture, of “Obesity Epidemic”, “Sugar=heroin” etc., so I read it with trepidation.

    First article on this page I see is, “Put a spring in your step”, seems innocuous at first with talking about better weather being an opportunity for us to do some walking. But barely into the second sentence and it’s now talking of, “It burns calories, builds stamina, strengthens your immune system and makes you feel good”. So if it’s just about the latter 3 things, why is burning calories mentioned first?? It then goes on to the usual scare tactics of cutting your risk of heart disease and diabetes and some cancers.

    The main article on this page is about “Inspiring Healthy Choices”, subheading on this is, “Trying to give up smoking?, “Want to eat Healthier?, get more active or lose weight?” they always have to bring the weight loss in to it , presumably the real intention? It talks of getting a health trainer to get on the right track and working with a 63 year old local man who didn’t do any physical activity and wanted to do some. That doesn’t sound terrible and if someone wants to do that for themselves, that’s great, but near the end of that page, we again get the, “Health Trainers can also help you lose weight”, then lists other things like giving up smoking. So it’s yet more mixed messages about so called “health”, but always presumes if you are not thin, you’re unhealthy and presumably if you are thin, you must be healthy!!!

    Reply

  109. I seem to have lost link or done something accidentally and as a result didn’t seem to be getting your posts by e-mail, but hope I’ve now put that right! I had really missed them, though did manage to see some on Facebook.

    I wanted to comment on something I did recently, it was following an article on “health” in a local Government (in UK, known as County Council) magazine that get delivered to your home every 3 months or so. As usually happens, the talk/lecture/advice on health soon diverted to “obesity problems/upcoming epidemic2 etc., etc., that we all know too well. I decided to contact them by e-mail to ask why they were equating health with size not taking into account all the other factors involved with health, such a slack of money, stress etc.

    I have just recently got a reply back and though they do acknowledge what I said and it seemed promising, the then went on to say other things, which only really brought us back to same old issue. Rather than try to recall it all, I’ll post a copied and pasted part of the most relevant piece and be interested to see what others think?

    This is what they replied to me:

    “With regard to your comment about mixing the health message with the idea of losing weight, we completely agree that being thin doesn’t make you fit and healthy.

    The ‘ideal’ is for people to be a healthy weight while also taking regular exercise and eating a balanced diet. This is why in the health trainer story, we don’t talk about losing weight in isolation – we talk about eating healthier and getting more active, too. In our case study, we don’t focus on weight loss at all – just about getting more active and in Peter’s case, improving his emotional wellbeing by getting out and meeting new people.

    However, encouraging people who are overweight or obese to lose weight does bring significant health benefits in its own right. Evidence has shown that obesity is a common risk factor for diabetes, other metabolic diseases, heart disease, stroke, liver disease, many cancers, injuries, arthritis, and depression – causing death and disability, and posing a huge burden to health and social care services.

    Projections for Norfolk suggest that over the next 25 years, if trends continue, there will be an additional 50,000 people with diabetes and an additional 9,000 people who will have a stroke due to obesity. That’s why reducing obesity is one of Norfolk’s top health priorities.

    For all of these reasons, reducing obesity is one of Norfolk’s top health priorities and this is why we think it is important to provide services and information – including but not limited to weight management – which help people to lead healthier lifestyles.”

    Marion, UK

    Reply

    1. No no no no no. Just no. Not to you, marion, to the idiots who answered you.
      “Evidence has shown that obesity is a common risk factor for diabetes, other metabolic diseases, heart disease, stroke, liver disease, many cancers, injuries, arthritis, and depression – causing death and disability, and posing a huge burden to health and social care services.”
      No.
      No. Thin people can get all of the problems listed above. These people know nothing about health. They are doing everyone of every size a disservice by focusing on weight.
      Obesity-induced strokes? WTF?
      *smh*

      Reply

  110. Your hate mail responses were hilarious. I started reading them because I’m always interested in ways to deal with public criticism. But yeah, my analysis was sidelined because I was secondhand snarking too much. If brevity is the soul of wit, you’re a soul sister no doubt.

    Reply

  112. O, Ms. Regan!
    There’s an article on CNN today. It’s about the regrets of the dying.
    Article really hits home about appreciating one’s body- in spite of what society tells us that we ought to despise it.

    Just one quote: Too often, it’s only as a patient realizes that he or she will lose their body that they finally appreciate how truly wonderful it is.

    Poignant article.

    Link: http://www.cnn.com/2014/10/16/health/dying-regret-body-hate/index.html?hpt=hp_inthenews

    Reply

  113. Hi Ragen,

    I’m moving to an area where the local community college offers rock climbing classes. I find my(240-pound, 5’4″)self intrigued. I was just wondering, since you’re an athlete, if you’ve ever tried rock climbing, or if you know any fat-positive bloggers who have. My googling has not as yet yielded much (except to note that a couple of self-identified fat people have, indeed, been rock climbing, and found that they were able to do it).

    Thanks for all your awesome work! I read your blog practically every day. 🙂

    Kersten

    Reply

  114. tw: food policing and weight shaming.

    Hey Ragen,

    This article posted by the “natural” Doctor, Dr Andrew Weil is popping up several times on ton’s of friends Facebook page. The title “The Exponential Benefits of Eating Less.” It’s presented in a way that makes it sound like the “SIMPLE” (I wish there was font to denote sarcasm) act of eating less is like the panacea to a better world overall place. But when I read it, I can’t help but think its just more food policing and weight shaming. When does this ever stop?

    http://www.psmag.com/navigation/health-and-behavior/portion-size-the-exponential-benefits-of-eating-less-food-weight-health-94849/

    thank you for taking a look…

    Your friend…Simon

    Reply

  115. Hi Ragen,

    I commented over on the posting about Concern Trolling that I might be putting together a blog on training for the Grand Canyon Rim to Rim hike. Another commenter expressed an interest, and I promised to share the link once I’d cleared it with you. I’ve put together the blog page and posted the first entry, and so figured it was time to ask if it was okay to share in comments over here.

    Thanks,

    Rick

    Reply

    1. Yes? No? (Hello? Is this thing on?) Need a PM with the link to check it out first and make sure it’s not a veiled inappropriate site?

      I’ll be fine if the answer is no. That’s why I asked.

      Reply

    1. Oh, my gosh! Central Heating! That’s what made me fat! Who knew?

      Well, obviously, the cure to the obesity epidemic is to get rid of ALL heating devices.

      Of course, being cold all the time is uncomfortable, and it also makes people less alert and more sleepy, which is why it’s a bad idea to turn down the thermostat in the office, especially in meetings and training rooms, because it makes everyone zone out. But who needs to be comfortable or productive? THIN! It’s all about THIN!

      Oh, my gosh. People never cease to amaze me with the same old “better thin than happy or productive,” story.

      Reply

  117. Hey Regan, I had a terrible experience with my doctor recently and I was wondering if it would be alright to print your “Yes its okay to be fat” article and give it to him? I don’t want to reprint your work without permission. 🙂 Thank you

    Reply

    1. Hi Symaron,

      Absolutely, please feel free reprint that article to give to your doctor (though I’m sorry that you have to!) Good luck and if there’s anything that i can do to support you please feel free to e-mail me at ragen at danceswithfat dot org.

      ~Ragen

      Reply

  118. I love reading your blog. Thankfully, I’ve never personally had to deal too much with self esteem or self hate, mostly because I never felt that appearance was that important at all (I don’t shave my legs or armpits, don’t wear makeup, etc).
    A friend of mine has been struggling for a long time with concerns about her weight. She is dealing with bipolar disorder, and an emotionally abusive family that are always critiquing her appearance and weight.
    She recently moved in with me, so now I’m hearing about how fat she thinks she is and how much weight she needs to lose all the time. I want to help her feel better about herself, but I’m not sure what I can say to help her out. My instinct is to tell her appearance doesn’t matter, don’t worry so much, but appearance obviously does matter to her, and to most of the rest of the world, so that wouldn’t be very helpful. Do you have any recommendations? Sorry if you already wrote a blog entry about this, I couldn’t find one. Thanks!

    Reply

  119. I just bought some sewing patterns to make my own clothes, since my measurements fall into three different sizes. One of the patterns I bought just blew my mind.

    http://moonwishesstore.ecrater.com/p/16524445/butterick-sewing-pattern-5575-womens-plus

    This pattern is not only stylish, but it runs all the way up to size 44W! Huzzah! Hooray for Butterick!

    I think they definitely need a shout-out. I mean, that is amazing that they go that high. It shouldn’t be, but it is. I’m only looking for size 22-28W, but even that was hard to find any patterns that fit my fashion sense and my purpose (business clothes). But then I found that, and I just wanted to dance around in joy that so many women will be able to wear at least ONE pretty outfit!

    The old “Well, if you can’t find cute clothes in your size, just make them yourself” saw doesn’t work, if you can’t find the patterns, after all. The people who say that don’t know how hard it is to find the patterns. And to suggest that all fat people should just learn to design their own patterns, as well as sew their own clothes, so that ready-made clothes can stick to the “straight,” sizes is just so oppressive.

    So, once more, Huzzah for Butterick! for giving us more options!

    Reply

  120. Hi,
    I just discovered this blog and this website and it made me cry. You are showing the world that even though you have a few extra pounds, you can do anything you put your mind to.
    🙂
    Rebecca

    Reply

  121. I was curious as to whether you’d ever read a blog called junkfoodscience. The writer, a nurse I believe, writes about the total lack of scientific evidence and evidence against the idea that being fat is unhealthy. I almost considered weight loss surgery and postponing having another baby until I read her blogs.

    Reply

  122. Ragen,

    My childhood best friend recently raved to me about how your blog has been drastically making her feel more positively about her body… So I wanted to check it out – and also thank you! She and I have different sources for our body image problems, and that was making us feel like we couldn’t confide in each other as freely as we should (like we used to.) I cannot stress enough that your blog has been a positive influence for both of us! 🙂 Anyway, after reading some of your posts, I came across your hate mail section…

    Holy shit, Batman! What is wrong with those people? I’m not fat, yet I totally appreciate your message of working on being happy by following our dreams, loving ourselves, etc. Everyone has the right to look exactly how they look. How can those jerks believe that happiness comes from conforming to what a select few deem as beautiful? Also, from what I could tell, they are some very sad, little people… So maybe they should reevaluate their own approach to happiness before insisting that other people follow their pathetic (and insufficient) lead.

    Sorry, I’m sure you’ve heard more than enough. I will wrap this up.

    Thank you for being brave and putting yourself out there like this. It means a lot to people like me and Kate. Keep spreading positivity and love!

    Best wishes,

    Anna

    Reply

    1. Hi Anna,

      Thanks for your comment, I’m os happy to have the chance to support you and Kate! I so agree with you that the internet trolls could do with a bit of introspection! Best of luck to you and Kate!

      ~Ragen

      Reply

  124. Thanks, thanks, THANKS for all you do! I can’t tell you how much better I feel about myself and life, in general, since I started reading your blog. You touch my heart in such a warm way, teaching me how to love and see beauty where the world tells me (sometimes shouting and hitting with a metaphorical mallet) that I should not.

    I don’t hate myself, any more. Thank you!

    Reply

  125. Well, this is disturbing. I just started a new pain medication, in a patch form. I leave it on for 2 days, then remove the old patch and put on a new patch.

    The instructions say not to do anything that will raise the body temperature. Do not “engage in exercise that increases your body temperature. These can cause an overdose that can lead to death.”

    So, apparently, all those people who say that exercise is ALWAYS good for ANY body can just go jump in a lake, because very mild exercise may be fine for me, but breaking a sweat could cause me to FREAKIN’ DIEEEEE!

    Meanwhile, if the pain med works, I’ll finally feel UP to exercising again. DRAT IT!

    Reply

  126. Hello. I’m a guy and my beautiful lady happens to be a “big girl”. I’m absolutely head over heels in love with this woman because of the type of person she is. She’s sweet, intelligent, loving ,sensuos and physically beautiful. Anybody who feels that a “woman of size” is less than a woman or a person in general needs to remove their heads from their butts, get a breath of fresh air and rethink that concept. I’ve just found your site & subscribed. i’m glad that I did. Thank you for creating such a great site.

    Reply

  127. Hello From México. I came across your blog in Google search for “big girls dancing salsa” since I’m one myself and wanted to check performance outifts. I haven’t found any options yet… all that is designed for skinny people, I’ll keep looking and also returning to your blog to remember myself that I have all the right to dance regardless of my size.

    Reply

  128. OMG! I was just on a game-wiki page, and saw TWO ads, side by side, for some new weight-loss drug, called Saxenda. Among the possible side-effects? Thyroid cancer (leading to death), kidney failure (leading to dialysis), increased heart rate (risk of heart failure), and pancreatitis. Also, low blood sugar, vomiting, diarrhea, and that kind of thing.

    Also, the thing that gets me the most: You take this drug to help you lose weight and keep it off, right? BUT, it must be used in conjunction with a reduced calorie diet and exercise regime. So… Risk of DEATH, and you STILL have to do all the diet/exercise that didn’t do the job in the first place, or you wouldn’t be resorting to risking your very life with this drug.

    Oh, yeah! Also, it says not to take it if you have depression or suicidal thoughts. Well, I ask you, in our fat-hating culture, what fat person who was so desperate to lose weight that they’d risk thyroid cancer (and if you have your thyroid removed, just try losing weight THEN!!!), has not had depression or suicidal thoughts? I mean, really? The war on obesity drives us to depression and thoughts of suicide ALL. THE. TIME.

    I am so disgusted by the weight-loss industry, and the lose-weight or die trying, it’s really worth it to die, if you die thin, mentality that is all around these days. UGH!

    Reply

  129. Speaking of fat-weirdness on TV: Did you see the Sherlock Christmas special?

    Spoiler alert:

    There is a scene where Mycroft is purposely trying to shorten his life be eating a lot. I mean A LOT. He and Sherlock have a bet going, how soon he’ll die, and he tries to hasten his death by eating more pudding.

    I was utterly gob-smacked by this.

    Reply

  130. Hi! I was catching up on recent posts in your blog, and saw one with pictures of body-positive art etc that you have around your home. I thought that was awesome, and wanted to link you to a couple of pieces by my favourite author/artist, Ursula Vernon.

    First a positive one:
    http://www.redwombatstudio.com/studio/people-characters/walking-the-frog/

    and also a ‘stuff the haters’ type one:
    http://www.redwombatstudio.com/studio/sketchbook/the-fairy-of-fannish-misogyny/

    Thank you for being awesome! I’m saving some of your links to deploy the next time my mother starts up the You Need To Diet lecture (I’ve got her down to about once a year, working on ‘never’).
    Mel Redcap

    Reply

  131. I don’t know if you’re familiar with the new t.v. series (based on a webseries) “Adam Ruins Everything”, but it’s generally a great show about busting popular myths about various topics. Recently they had an episode titled “Adam Ruins Nutrition” which was actually pretty accurate and ended on a good message, telling people to treat nutrition and science reporting with skepticism and trust their own bodies’ responses to food. So, I think we should get Adam to “ruin” diet culture, or really, get him to run a show ruining myths about fat! His show isn’t perfect but I feel like it could be an awesome opportunity for activism.

    Reply

  132. Hi Ragen,
    I started following your blog a couple of months ago and wanted to tell you how much I enjoy it. It feels strange saying “enjoy” because the subject matter is definitely difficult……but damn! When you break down the bullshit and lay it all out clear as day it’s.just.so.amazing! I always picture you doing a mic drop at the end of every post.
    Thank you for standing up, thank you for the lessons in logic and heart AND being funny all the while.

    Reply

  133. Hi Ragen,
    I wanted to give your hate mail a little looksee since I saw some folks remarking about your awesome replies but it seems that the link to that page is broken. Perhaps it has moved?

    Just checking, thanks… 🙂

    Reply

  134. Hi Ragen,

    I wanted to tell you that I think you are beautiful and strong and wonderful. I want to love troll you ❤️ You have been an inspiration to me. I have heard some of your interviews on podcasts and read your blogs. Just know there are many people out there who love and support you.

    Lisa

    Reply

  135. Ragen: Just listened to you speak with Dr Arya Sharma and Paul Plakas!

    Wow you are a true gem and most importantly so beautiful on the inside and out.

    Congratulations on an incredible attitude.

    Becky

    Reply

    1. Hi Becky,

      Thank you so much! I didn’t realize that interview was still available so that’s extra awesome 🙂 If you happen to have the link where you found it I would love have it. Thanks again for your kind words!

      ~Ragen

      Reply

  136. I’m posting it here, because there’s no “Say Something Sunday” up today. But I’m saying something, and it’s Sunday!

    So, I’m playing my Sims 2 game – building up a “Queendom,” with my simself ruling as Goddess-Queen.

    When you’re playing one house, all the other sims in the neighborhood can show up, and behave autonomously. One family, The Trace family, built a “Bivouac,” a sort of military-themed campground, with lots of equipment to build a variety of skills, including body skill.

    Well, my simself showed up, hit the treadmill, and stayed there for hours.

    Next time I played my simself’s house, she was all thin. So, I used magic to make “myself” fat again. “There, that’s better.”

    I’ve documented it on my story-telling, and even said that Youngdale has a rule – NO BODY SHAMING!

    Mostly, I just play and not worry about my sims’ sizes, one way or another, but this was my simself – my own avatar. ME. And I’m fat. Looking at a representation of myself, being all thin, just felt so wrong to me. Mind you, ten years ago, I would have created her thin, in the first place. Now, I go out of my way to keep her fat. The other sims are whatever size they are, and it changes, and that’s fine. I don’t care. But MY sim needs to be the right size for ME. I just wish that Sims 2 allowed her to be fatter, as there is really only a very small difference, unless you get some special mods, or something.

    It feels sort of weird to take body positivity activism to a computer game, but yeah. I’m doing it. I’m posting it, when this chapter is done. And it needs to be said, because I’ve read plenty of other players’ stories where they DO body shame. Sims may be struggling to earn the skills they need to advance in a career, but they are forced by the players to take time off from that to exercise, and get “fit” again. Note: “fit” in Sims 2 means “thin” and has nothing to do with actual athletic ability, which you can max out, even while you’re fat.

    Anyway, if other players can post about making their sims lose weight, I can post about my sims jolly well WANTING to stay fat, because they are at their most comfortable at that size, thankyouverymuch. Especially my simself, who is supposed to be a representation of ME.

    Now, you can have fat or “fit” as a turn-on or a turn-off. That’s fine. That’s not body-shaming. That’s just personal taste. In fact, you can have both fat and “fit” as turn-ons, at the same time. LOL!

    My simself just discovered that her first-born child is into sports. He went and played basketball for a few hours on his birthday, and now he’s “fit,” and everyone’s cool about it. Just whatever floats your boat. They’re all just happy that he’s enjoying his favorite hobby on his birthday.

    My Queen may do some bizarre stuff (gotta have the drama!) in Youngdale, but it’s still a place I’d like to live.

    Reply

  137. So, I just read this article: http://www.xojane.com/healthy/pretending-to-go-to-the-gym

    The comments floored me. This is a feminist site, so I expected people would get it, but nobody does (at least, not yet, and it’s been 4 days).

    People were either encouraging her to work out, or to use a gym’s day care, while she takes “me time,” or saying “Hooray! Work-out clothes are great!” or saying, “You’re weird, but you do you.” It all seemed very nice, and kind to the author (there was a major smack-down of one commenter, and the anti-judgement judgement was a trip).

    But then there were the people who were saying, “Nobody cares if you work out. Really, why are you trying to convince people you work out? No one caaaares. We don’t want to hear people talking about their work outs. I hate it when people talk about their work outs. No one caaaares!”

    DUDES. The author clearly stated that she got shaming looks from people when she said that she did NOT work out, and she got better treatment when they thought she was working out.

    She actively wears work-out clothes and goes to and from the gym just to get better treatment from people, so that she can drink her smoothie in peace. She could buy her smoothie anywhere. She could make it at home. She could wear comfy “mom clothes” and yeah, the feminists at xoJane wouldn’t shame her. But people she knows DOES. Strangers on the street DO treat her differently.

    I’ve read some body-positive/anti-fat-shaming articles at xojane, and I have to wonder how it is that none of them can see that.

    Personally, I think the author is cool, and she has found a way to deal with the fat shaming in a way that makes her happy. And as people have pointed out, the daily walk gives her some exercise.

    But the fact that she straight-up says, more than once, that people treat her better when they think she works out, and the commenters keep saying “No one cares if you work out!” just gets me.

    Maybe they don’t actively care if you do work out, but clearly, they DO care, if you DON’T.

    This just really ticked me off today, for some reason. Like, I just want to say, “Feminists: If someone tells you how they deal with oppression, don’t tell them they’re not really oppressed.” It doesn’t matter what axes of oppression they’re talking about. Feminism is supposed to encompass them all, isn’t it?

    Actually, I probably shouldn’t read the comments on xojane.

    Reply

    1. This is just full of tasty bits of insight. People really don’t want to hear all about your workout. People have rolled their eyes at me when I told them about it. So this is part of the fallacy, and shows how people are just using fatness / working out / health as an excuse to be nasty. It’s a paradox, on the one side, if you’re fat, you should work out (“there but for the grace of God” fear). Ok, but if you do work out, then don’t tell me about it because you’ll make me feel ashamed of myself for not working out that hard (ie. competition fear). So clearly this is about feeling superior and being nasty.

      Reply

  138. Hi, I just read your book all the way through. Thank you so much for writing it. I can’t say I agree with you 100%, but I’m in the 90% range and I don’t expect people to be perfect in every way before supporting them. So for now I’m tabling my thoughts about how much rage you put in there with the great insights. It certainly is justified to feel rage when you’re being scapegoated.

    The part where I thought it broke down a bit was the “Tasmanian Devil of Whoop Ass” story of that guy who whispered to you in the massage parlor. It seemed like that time, he was the one being abused. He was just dumb and trying to be nice, maybe he even thought you were pretty. I think it was over the top. You spend the entire previous paragraph saying very true things about how that guy got to where he was that day. You also missed a simple fact: guys have more testosterone and so it’s easier for them to diet/lose weight, partly due to the increase in muscle mass. In their 20s, they can practically walk past a free weight room, and gain an inch around the biceps. Even in their 60s, this effect is not gone. So it would’ve been good to point out the sex differences in body fat % management (I like that phrase better than weight loss).

    I’ve come to nearly all of the same conclusions you did and I’m so thankful that you brought all of these ideas together in one place. My mom always pooh poohed any attempts by me to lose weight and I was really quite thin (160 lbs on a 6 foot female frame – not many of us around) until a personal loss caused me to stop caring about anything and sleep for months on end. Then for the next 20 years I tried to lose weight, and it’s just impossible with current techniques. I wish I’d focused on health for 20 years. Where would I be now? Anyway, the point is, you’re right, stress causes all this. And shame will not lead to a reduction in the cause. And I may as well live a healthy and feel-good life now because there’s no guarantee any weight loss plan will ever “fix” me.

    I think there’s too much weight loss info that is being pushed on women that is really only effective for men. And I think that too much of men’s health that is relevant to women is shoved under a rug. I think that information is being manipulated in ways that aren’t helpful. For example, if you go to youtube and type in Strongman Contest (or Iceland Strongmen) you will see frankly fat men doing awesome things. It’s ok to show them because they’re men, expected to be made of “snips and snails and puppy dog tails” but if you had a program like that for women, it would be derided.

    But it does teach us something: that fatness by itself is not a measure of strength, of function, or even of health. Bigness is raw strength and that rawness is not “ladylike.” So there’s more to the bullying fat people thing than just ugly rolls of fat. If my husband is shamed less (actually never to my knowledge) for being fat, but I am shamed into fearing social contact, then my employment viability is definitely affected, in a sexist way.

    This connection with sexism is the real point for me. It’s just an unacknowledged tentacle of sexism.

    Reply

  139. Hey, there! I noticed I hadn’t seen updates from you on Facebook and now I can’t find your page! 😦 I also can’t locate you on messenger. Did Facebook block you? Or have I done something to upset you? 😥 I really am at a loss, if so. The only thing I can think of is the last screencap I sent you, and that was to alert you to the craziness they were talking about. I did not, in any way, shape or form endorse it. As a matter of fact, I told them they were acting psychotic. Upsetting you was not my intention at all. Hope you’re doing okay. Let me know, okay?

    Reply

  140. I just saw this on ThisIsThinPriviledge tumblr:

    yourshipsaregross:

    Hey, can we as a society stop shaming people for enjoying food?

    Like there is nothing wrong with enjoying a cupcake or ice cream or a burger.

    “It’s not healthy for you.”

    And your point? We know that? We’re still allowed to have a treat?

    Life is too short to not enjoy good food.

    TAGS foodcoded fat discriminationfatphobiacoded

    So, I read that, and my very first thought, before anything else, was “Neither is football. What’s your point?

    Seriously, if we treated football players, hockey players, race-car drivers, and other such people who “play” a dangerous game for a living, or even just hobbyists, the way we treat fat people and food, we would have a much tamer world. Note, I did not say “nicer”, because that’s a lot of hatred to be hurling about. But all our hobbies would be tame. No more fans cheering at a dangerous sport. Nope. It would be “Give me a B! Give me an O! Give me an O! Give me a K! Read that book! Read that book! But not for so long that you are sedentary and in danger of thrombosis! Pick another hobby! YAAAAYYYY!”

    I’m trying to picture the uniforms for the Dallas Miniature Train Club Cheerleaders.

    Oh, let’s face it, they’d still have short skirts, low-cut tops, and big hair. It’s Dallas.

    Reply

    1. To tell the truth, the way our society cheers on dangerous sports, my very first thought, before anything else, when I first heard about the show “Survivor” was, “Have we really sunk so low that we are throwing gladiators in a colosseum to fight to the death for our entertainment?” I actually believed it was a “last man alive” sort of show, because I DID believe we had sunk that low.

      I was profoundly relieved to hear that it was just a matter of being voted off the island. Then I got more details (I never saw it, because it did not come on the ONE channel with my rabbit-ear TV would pick up, but one of my co-workers gave a weekly report to the office, the day after each episode), and I thought, “SERIOUSLY?!” They make you do all those awful challenges, and yet it still just boils down to politics and popularity?! What is the point of the challenges? Just so viewers can watch the contestants suffer and be humiliated?

      Then I found out that it was the contestants, themselves, doing the voting, and not the viewers, and I was even more disgusted. Because I knew right away that the most competent ones, the most likely to actually survive the rough life, would be voted off, because they’d be too much competition. Oh, sure, they last at the beginning, when you have teams, and people want them on their teams, but once they have done their part to establish the team, there will be treachery, back-stabbing, and betrayal.

      In other words, based on how society treated me all my life, I was fully prepared to believe the worst of society, and not really surprised at how low the “entertainment” can sink.

      Survivor and Biggest Loser are only two examples of how unkind and cruel our society can be to anyone who is not “perfect.” Add in the tabloids, and you get cruelty to the people who DO fit the “perfect” mold, and you can see why I spend much of my time hiding under a metaphorical rock, and don’t believe ANYONE when they say, “But, I’m just doing this to you because I’m concerned about your health.” No, you’re not concerned about my health, physical, mental, emotional or spiritual. You’re concerned with your own comfort and entertainment.

      OK, sorry about the rant, but that “It’s not healthy” thing just really sent me off today. Probably because I have always, my whole life, had chronic health issues that no amount of dieting or weight loss has EVER cured, and I’m currently having a painful session.

      Reply

  141. Happy! Happy!

    I just saw a commercial (which is rare enough, because I almost never watch TV, but Mom wanted to see this new John Lithgow show, and thought it was about to start), and got ALL excited.

    I was sitting there, watching pretty people dance around to music, and now and then the Target store symbol would pop up, and then, BANG!

    A plus size model!

    I was literally reaching out to the screen, in desire, crying “Representation, y’all!”

    BANG! A model in a wheelchair!

    BANG! Multiple POCs!

    Now, I’m white and don’t use a wheelchair, but I was thrilled about the representation, in general, and a plus-size model, in particular. Seeing the representation of groups to which I do not belong, but are, like me, also rarely represented, just made me even happier than before.

    Even though the model was not representational of ME and MY body type (she was plus-size, but probably only a size 12 or 14, and hourglass figure), but she was visibly fat, and beautiful! I just told my Mom that this makes me want to shop at Target!

    See, advertisers, representation matters! It EXCITES us!

    Reply

  142. Hi,
    I found you through this wonderful link: http://curvygirlinc.com/revolution-not-resolution/
    Curvy is a bra shop in San Jose for plus sizes, and they put your link in their blog! I do appreciate your wit and vivacity. I stopped in at the haters and loved your come-backs. They are abhorrent nut cases. Thank you for being an original and priceless person.

    Reply

  143. Hey, Ragen. If I’m remembering right, you’ve plugged a fat-friendly gym-sports-fitness space that’s on FB before.

    Unfortunately, I’m not on FB. Can you recommend a good site where a person could get support/advice/tips from other fat folks– without having to join FB? Sincere thanks. –ms_x

    Reply

      1. I’d love that! 🙂 I’ve had real success getting to the gym regularly in the past few months, but sometimes my 51-year-old carcass *really* lets me know when I’ve overdone it the day before. (Then I pay for weeks afterward. Grrr…) It’d be great to have a place to get help for that without listening to some shit-happened-cuz-yer-fat-you-loser garbage.

        I do see a pretty diverse array of bodies there, so that’s good. 🙂

        Reply

  144. So, I’ve been watching Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries, on Netflix, and I just have to say how happy I am to see Dot. She’s “Hollywood fat,” which means average, and it’s just not even a thing. Every now and again, I get this glimpse of double-chin, or a waist that is probably closer to 30 inches around than 18, and I think “Woot!” AND she is recognized as beautiful, by more than one man, and not in any fetishist, chubby-chasing way. She’s simply a woman (and a remarkable one!), and her size is never, in any way, a Thing.

    Miss Fisher is thin, but her size is never in any way a Thing, either. It’s just so refreshing, to me, that size is never a thing with any of the characters. No body-shaming, one way or another. Sure, it’s a murder-mystery series, but it’s my second time binge-watching it, and I feel just safe and comfortable watching it.

    Safe is good. So, I thought I’d share the recommendation. Perhaps we could have an article with recommendations from you and your readers on some body-safe movies, TV shows, books, plays, music, and other entertainments? One of those articles we can bookmark (like the one about how to talk to your doctor, or get the “bikini body,” or setting food boundaries at holidays), and come back to when we need it?

    Mind you, there are plenty of shows I watch DESPITE the bit of fat-shaming. Sometimes, the good outweighs the bad for me, but that is a personal choice I make for myself, and I try not to recommend it to others. Sometimes, the fat-shaming is poking fun at the characters being so exaggeratedly upset about it all, and punching up (but so much depends on POV to see the direction of the punching, and it’s debatable). So, when I find something that is just so safe, as well as generally enjoyable, with witty dialogue and good plotting, I like to recommend it to other people who also need a safe-space entertainment.

    Also, Hairspray. Note – the movie is good, but I like the stage-play even better, so if you have the chance to see it on stage, go for it!

    Reply

  147. My sister was watching the Today show. M.D. said that BMI measurements were approprate for 3 year olds. OMG. The poor mom’s who buy into that.

    Reply

  148. I was reading an inspiring article about a mom preparing to thru-hike Arizona with her disabled son on her back (https://www.azcentral.com/story/news/local/arizona/2019/09/14/mother-son-duo-plan-record-setting-hike-across-arizona-trail/2329460001/) and was arrested by this section:

    In seeking sponsorships, Bernstein-Schultz said companies have been mostly supportive. But some companies — she won’t say which ones — have told her that her idea is impossible.

    One well-known company actually told Bernstein-Schultz she was physically incapable of completing the hike after seeing a picture of her. She wrote back, telling the company she’s already section-hiked 80% of the trail, with and without Blaine.

    “I don’t look like the typical hiker, but I think my physical structure is why I can carry him on my back,” Bernstein-Schultz said. “I think the way I look gives me an advantage.”

    Just another example of everyday fat shaming, but it infuriated me. I guess there is no goal, no matter how noble, that fatphobes can’t denigrate.

    Reply

  149. Hi Ragen,

    Thank you so, so much for the work you do and for this blog. It has been truly life changing.

    I noticed that you mentioned that one of the things you do is coordinate letter writing campaigns. I would be very interested in volunteering for something like that. Are there any active campaigns you’re aware of or groups I might check out? (Or do any readers know who might be willing to chime in?)

    Thank you!

    Reply

  150. Ragen, do you want a bit on this one: https://www.krem.com/article/news/kid-menu-sugary-drinks-bill-ban-soda-washington-state/293-dca8ecdd-7ccf-435b-89ec-265b7c400c4c

    Good on ya for making ‘good choices’, but if the good at the end is ‘so I don’t end up looking like you…’

    Seriously, even as a Liberal Democrat I cringe at the over-reach here, telling businesses what they can and can’t do. But you know, they will see this one up there with “Employees food handlers licensing and rat hairs in soup” rules. NY and California were A OK with it. Why is it the fear of the US as a Nanny state stops when it comes to fat people/food/sugar…?

    Seriously this one is scary, in its potential.

    Reply

      1. Thank you. It uber creeps me out when they start passing Laws on “behaviors” when what the really mean is “we are super upset about the (assumed) results of these behaviors”. The Republican woman said she was really concerned when we try to pass legislation telling business’ what they can and can’t do. Oh that isn’t the half of it.

        Reply

  151. My mother has begun watching this, it looks pretty good, we love English period dramas. We are both fat. I see this crap coming, she doesn’t and when I point it out, she tried to deflect it. I see it coming: A thin, young, white, blond woman curling up with a book and passing on the opportunity to go out to the pub and flirt. The fat girl goes out. I see it in my head BEFORE they even run it, fat girl is gonna get sick, screw up etc. while thin girl is portrayed as the better person. Yes. Pretty much.
    Fat girl goes out in bad fog, to flirt with boys at a pub while Thin girl stays in to read a book. Does this EVER happen in the movies? No, it is this: Fat girl is homely and stays home reading book while the Thin girl is pretty goes out, flirts, pub, yadda yadda yadda. We have been sold this since Before the words ‘Ever, Happily and After’ were first put together. No. It doesn’t happen that way, unless…it is a set up. Ah. Yep.
    Fat girl: willing to date guys not worth having (as noted by Thin girl in her not going, the very fact that the Fat girl would have these guys means they are ‘tainted’.
    Fat girl: gets sick,(of course she does, they’re all SICK) annoyingly sick, so much so the Thin girl (heroine) has to force her, the Fat girl, to get out of bed so she, Thin girl, can take her, Fat girl, to hospital. When running out of the hospital to get to her, Thin girl’s, boss Winston Churchill to Do Something about the governments non-response to the killing fog…Thin girl: gets hit by a bus. All cry.
    Ah yes. The thin, young, white, “attractive” woman becomes a virgin martyr (no other men good enough). The book she had been reading, to the loss of so many lads in London pubs, was about her boss, Winston Churchill. How could the lads hope to measure up? Thin girl death is mourned by a stunned and teary Winston Churchill. So young, so lovely.
    There’s a vicious circle, the one that makes the world go round, young attractive (thin) women admiring older man. Or is that just Hollywood? No, pretty sure it is spinning the globe. Her admiration of him, makes him look good. The young attractive woman restoring the aged man’s sense of virility and value by being admired by this young woman and he makes her look good by being the one who ‘chooses’ who is considered “attractive” …
    Doubt it? Think I have ‘gone too far, exaggerated my claim’? Have the rolls be reversed. For real, make the tv show, movie commercial. Have the Fat girl be young and lovely, admiring of the The Great Man, dragging her dying Thin homely friend through the foggy streets to hospital, running to reach her hero only to be struck down by the bus.
    You can’t do it! Our modern-day archetypes do Not allow a fat woman to be SEEN AS heroic any more than it allows her to be SEEN AS “attractive”. The jokes would start with, what damage did she do to the bus?
    Because it is annoying, and I don’t have a blog. That’s why I am bothering you Ragen. 😉
    And did you see that Folgers commercial. Apparently, the worst part of waking up is being seated between to slovenly fat people in a car-pool. Ah fat people are so good for condemnation via comic relief, The anti-septic wipe using clean organized co-worker and the fat, sneezing slob across the desk from her. Priceless… It just keeps coming. And they know what they are doing. $$$ God help us, these people will start voting for those ‘hygiene laws’ like the NAZI’s had in the thirties. How many do they have to kill to make themselves …safe, pure, entitled, immortal? It’s in there. It’s always in there…

    I am going to go re watch the funny fat girl clip to get this funky bad mood to go away!

    Reply

  152. Ragen, someone is hoping the COVID-19 kills fat people. I mean, that’s what I get. I looked up, people at risk, it said older and compromised immune systems… Somehow this person managed to add ‘obese’ to the list for their lil spiel. Uh hu. Has the CDC seen this yet? This virus a fat-seeking-missile? Just wishful thinking maybe? There ya go, Lose that weight now! You’re more susceptible to diseases like diabetes, high blood pressure, COVID-19, the common cold, the un-common cold, the free-repeater cold, water on the knee, water on the brain, high waters, water signs, street signs,Tourette’s Syndrome (KISS MY ASS).

    Reply

  153. Ragen, Having a new issue with Microsoft here. I got an ad offering “new icons and photos” I am perusing imagery and can not find any fat women. There are maybe three chubby white guys, one shown only from the chest up ‘ala the Snapple Lady”. Mostly these are taupe on white with black business images, where of course fat people don’t belong, but I am not finding above average sized people under any plumpage terms. Fat, heavy, hefty, ample, lush, big, portly, o&*^e, chunk style, medium density… Nothin. No fat people working in IT? I so seriously doubt that!

    Reply

  154. Hmn, China in grip of food waste plus starvation. Thinks the cure is to “weigh people at restaurants before they order there food…
    So does that mean if you weigh more, you get more (men), or you weigh more you get less, (women)? Does a certain poundage result in all veggie steamed meal, while lesser scale numbers have sauce soaked, deep fried caloric bomb…?

    Reply

  156. Hi Ragen,

    Have a topic for possible bloggage here: The uber negative and ENDLESS portrait of fat people, fat bodies, chubby kids as bullies, toadies, imbeciles and losers. My Mom is flipping through freebies on PIXAR and finds “LOU” a tale about a Lost And Found box in a schoolyard. I watch thirty seconds of it and…wait for it. THERE he is, The Fat Bully kid. The ogre of 99.9% of all teledramas and comedies. I think there may actually be a class in Film School called Fat Bullies and how to direct/show/promote them 101. I literally count the minutes before the antagonist comes on in any Hollywood offering, I have rarely been disappointed. The negative character is almost ALWAYS a fat trope, tome, meme. It has become an arch type to view any protagonist as the smaller, thinner, more attractive of the pair whilst the antagonist is “the fat kid”. In the language of film, there is little variation anywhere and Cinderella has been told more times than… Yes. It is getting stale. I don’t know, maybe it needs an entire book dedicated to it. Doesn’t matter, these people don’t read…. Jen

    Reply

  157. Another one hit the wall. Late Night TV show host going to be thinner soon. He is entitled to do as he pleases with his body. The annoying bit is, they have already started saying “He is starting a Health Journey”. The fact is he already said publicly, He is tired of “looking like this.” He didn’t say tired of being unhealthy. Ah, the sad old saw, self-hatred as self-love. For Sale….

    Reply

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