Yesterday we talked about working with the moveable middle, today we’re going to talk about dealing with the other side of the spectrum – the Meme Roths. [Trigger warning for diet and eating disorder talk.] What’s a Meme Roth you ask? Well, the original Meme Roth is a person who calls herself an “Anti-obesity advocate” and delights in spewing hate speech about fat people, splashing around like a joyful baby in a pool of unsupported assumptions, ignored evidence, and just making stuff up. Her core belief seems to be that fat people need to be constantly reminded to hate themselves, that they are ugly and, although she has admitted that dieting has a 95% failure rate, she believes that our lives should be consumed with becoming thin until we get there or die trying, and that somehow we all have an obligation to live like she thinks we should. Or she may not believe any of it, but she’s found it lucrative – it’s hard to say.

Meme is coming from an interesting place – she talks a lot about how she restricts calories (claiming, on various occasions, to eat 1600, 1300 and 1100 calories a day) while making sure that she runs 4 miles a day and “earns” any extra food.  About her wedding day she said “Most women I know commit fraud on their wedding days — they weigh-in for the walk down the aisle with no expectation of maintaining that weight year after year.”  Now, it’s Mimi’s right to heavily restrict calories while exercising a lot, and to believe that true love means never having to buy bigger pants.

But news outlets giving her a platform from which to talk to other people about health (suggesting, for example, that each person should eat 10 times their goal weight in calories as if there is a magical mathematical connection between the two) as if she is coming from a healthy place and has a firm grasp on reality with great advice to give is highly problematic.

Until yesterday Meme was really nothing to me –  just another example of the idea that if you can’t be a good example, you can be a horrible warning – a cautionary tale about the dangers of living a life of hatred.  But today she became real very quickly when I found out that two of my friends were going to be on television with her. Having seen her on TV I know that her debate style is to spew vitriol and  just to keep talking and not let anyone else talk.  I tend to view that as cowardly – I think if you are sure of yourself you can have a rational debate where everyone gets to talk, but that’s just me.

Meme has become a caricature of the kind of haters who, unfortunately as a Size Acceptance/Health at Every Size practitioner and activist, you are likely to run into. Here are some ways that we can deal with it:

• Remember that every activist group has to deal with this. It doesn’t make it ok, but it’s sometimes nice to know that we are not alone
• Celebrate the benefits of people like this- play your cards right and this person will highlight the rationality of Size Acceptance and Health at Every Size approaches
• Resist, with conviction the urge to sink to their level or you lose the benefit we just discussed and then you just have two people screaming
• Call it what it is – hate speech.  When you say that we need to say that fat people are ugly and that saying anything else is “dangerous” that’s hate speech.  Hate is not healthcare, humiliation is not healthcare.  It doesn’t matter what their intentions might be, people don’t get a pass on spewing hatred because they claim good intentions
• Recognize the danger – what Meme and the Meme-ettes are recommending: severe caloric restriction, “earning” food through exercise, considering yourself ugly until you are thin enough, placing your value (as a bride for example) on your weight, are all red flags of disordered eating.  I have no opinion about Meme’s eating, but as someone who has recovered from an eating disorder and done a lot of work with people dealing with eating disorders, I have a strong opinion about suggesting that the path to health is to encourage these behaviors
• Remember that they who scream the loudest and the most incessantly probably don’t have evidence on their side
• Seek support – if you have a run in with a weight bigot you can always reach out to the SA/HAES community and we will support you.

I have to be honest and say that at the end of the day I just don’t get Meme and the Meme-ettes- I can’t imagine devoting my life to being an Anti-anything advocate.  I can’t even wrap my head around spending my life telling people that they should hate themselves unless they change their bodies.  I would rather create than destroy, I would rather be for than against. I believe that whatever you want to do in life, it will be easier if you like yourself first.  Your body, at whatever size you are, is amazing – the breathing, the blinking, the heartbeat, not to mention smiling, hugging, and a million other things – anybody who tries to tell you any different is trying to pass their issues off onto you, and you can always return that shit to sender.

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Amazing Fat Activists Julianne Wotasik and Jeanette DePatie are going to be on the Dr. Drew show tomorrow night.  They already did a piece for Fox News and they were amazing,  and it has me thinking about working with the moveable middle.

The Dr. Drew show posted a Facebook discussion (Trigger Warning:  Horrible) asking “Is it okay to be fat?”

We know that the answer to that question is an unequivocal yes.  (If you’re confused about that, head to this post.

As an activist, the idea that a National television show hosted by a medical doctor thinks it’s ok to ask if people have a right to exist tells me a lot about where we are.

The posts in response to the question on Facebook are all over the place – there are the crazy fat haters, the misinformed who are spouting all kinds of numbers that they know nothing about, people who are suggesting that we all need to lose weight “for our own good“, and of course the activists representing for the Fat Side.

Whenever I have the chance to talk about fat activism I try to focus on the “moveable middle” (I can’t remember who I stole this phrase from – if it was you please remind me so that I can thank you properly.)  These are the people who are capable of rational discussion and able to listen and think about what they’ve heard.  Whether you are giving a public talk, commenting on Facebook, or talking about this with friends, here are some techniques that I’ve found successful in working with the moveable middle (of course none of these are a one size fits all and there is room for all kinds of activists, these are just ideas):

• Be calm, rational, and pleasant – especially in the face of shrieking, hysterical fear mongers and bigots
• State your case without equivocation
• State particularly obvious things like they are obvious – like “Of course fat people have a right to exist” – stated with an unspoken tinge of  “of course, obviously, or duh” at the end.
• Be clear about the difference between Size Acceptance and Health at Every Size.  Every person of every size has the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness whether or not they choose to prioritize or pursue health, and regardless of what path they might choose to meet any health goals. Other people’s body size and their health is none of anyone else’s business.
• Give people lots of simple things in the hopes that one of them catches in their mind and starts to create doubt.  Things like “Fat people have a right to exist,” “There are healthy fat people and unhealthy thin people,” “Healthy habits have the best chance of making a healthy body,” “Other people’s health is none of our business,” “People engage in all kinds of activities that don’t prioritize their health – singling out fat people is just bigotry” etc.
• Be ready with evidence
• In addition to evidence, be ready with your personal story  – whether it’s about how fat hate affected you, your HAES journey, or your SA journey, telling your story gives people something they can relate to
  
• Remind people of the dangers of “everyone knows”.  Good examples are Galileo, Thalidomide, Heroin as a cough suppressant, etc.
• Be ready for the “But your fat is your fault” argument
• Remember that it’s not your responsibility to change people’s minds – in fact that’s impossible.  All you can do is give people access to information and options, they are the only ones who can change their minds.
• Remember that you’re not just talking to the people who speak up, in fact sometimes those are the most likely to be the haters.  Remember the fat person who is sitting at home or in the audience listening to you – you are giving them the option for a whole other life and as far as I’m concerned that is why every single chance we get to talk about this is so important

Huge thanks to Julianne and Jeanette for being willing to put themselves out there for the good of all of us.  Kick some big fat ass ladies!

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This Memorial Day weekend in the US, families will gather to thank our Veterans. Those family BBQs often come with an unhealthy side of body shaming and food policing.  If you’re headed to a family feast for the holiday, here’s an oldie but goodie post to help you through:

Your body is amazing – it breathes for you, pumps blood around all the time and does all kinds of cool things.  It deserves respect and admiration. If people don’t recognize that, it’s 100% their problem and a big flaming sack of not yours.

Everything that people say to you is a reflection of where they are in their life  – if people are engaging in body shaming, food policing or other inappropriate behavior, remember that it’s about them, not about you. You do not have to take it personally or internalize it.

That doesn’t mean that you have to allow it to happen either.  You decide how people treat you and then you teach them how to treat you that way.  Don’t be afraid to set boundaries and consequences and then follow through. It’s ok to stand up for yourself, it’s ok to leave the room, it’s ok to leave the State.  It’s also ok to just get through it, but if you take that path may I suggest that you spend a lot of energy making sure that you aren’t internalizing those messages.

Good intentions do not negate bad behavior unless you decide that they do.

People are allowed to be on diets, but if they feel the need to be incredibly vocal about it consider that they may have some issues that they are dealing with.  Again, this is a big flaming sack of not your problem.  Other people’s choices do not invalidate your choices, and vice versa.  Some dieters have a hard time with this – they need everyone to buy into dieting so that they can feel comfortable about their decision.  That doesn’t obligate you to buy in.

Once more with feeling:  Your body is amazing – it breathes for you, pumps blood around all the time and does all kinds of cool things.  It deserves respect and admiration. If people don’t recognize that, it’s 100% their problem and a big flaming sack of not yours.

If you need some comic relief there’s new hate mail (with my witty retorts) up on my hate mail page.  Enjoy!

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I get a lot of e-mails and comments from people who are discouraged by the amount of fat hate that exists, and how intense it has become.  People sometimes ask if really I think that we can change anything. I also get lots of e-mails and comments from people asking what we can do to help create that change.  Today I want to talk about both questions:

I do believe we can change things, because I’ve seen it happen.  If you read this blog you know I rarely compare oppressed communities because I prefer to avoid playing the Oppression Olympics.  I’m not trying to say that the Queer community and the Size Acceptance community are the same, but hear me out on this one:

In the summer of 1969 GLBT people had a mountain of prejudice in front of them. They were kicked out of public places in sweeps made by the police. Homosexuality was listed in the American Psychological Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical manual as a sociopathic personality disturbance. Lists of “known homosexuals” and their friends were kept by the FBI.  Those who went to gay bars risked arrest and those who were arrested had their identities published in the newspaper.  The Post Office tracked addresses to which queer-themed publications were sent.  GLBT people were publicly humiliated, physically harassed, fired, jailed, or institutionalized.  Until June 28th of 1969, GLBT civil rights groups had been using a non-confrontational educational approach.

Then, on June 28th, 1969 when the police raided the Stonewall Inn, a group of the most disenfranchised members of the GLBT community decided that they had had enough.  They picked up beer bottles and bricks and spiked heel shoes and rioted. For the first time in history, GLBT people fought back.

Forty three years later Will and Grace was a hit. We have openly gay politicians, actors, singers, comedians. People from Jay Zee to the actor who plays Captain America have come out in favor of gay marriage.  As a member of the queer community I understand that we’re not there yet, but the Queer community has made tremendous strides in a relatively short time.

They didn’t give up using education and non-confrontational approaches, but they stopped pretending that everything was fine when it wasn’t, or that it was ok for people to “compassionately” put them into mental institutions.  They stood up, they fought back. That’s how we make change. Nobody is required to be an activist, but if you want to work for change the good news is that there are lots of ways to fight, and it doesn’t have to be complicated:

The first thing we can do is just live.  By doing what we want to do (shop, go to the gym, eat, take a pottery class whatever) in our fat bodies we help to normalize the fact that bodies come in a variety of sizes for a variety of reasons.

Be vocal about loving your body.  Be vocal about choosing Health at Every Size.  I think that talking about my SA and HAES is important and I don’t feel bad about it because I have to hear about weight-loss and diet constantly. We deserve a voice and at least equal airtime.  They may not give it to us, but we can take it for ourselves.  For tips on talking about these things check here, here, and here!

Speak out against weight bullying, body shaming and stigma whenever you hear or see them. If your employer sends out a weight loss e-mail, send an e-mail asking them to provide evidence, or telling them how it affects you negatively.  When you see fat hate on the internet leave a reply – even if it seems like you are the only one or that you’ll never change the mind of the poster or other commenters, you’re not necessarily posting for them.  You’re posting to put another tangible piece of HAES/SA into the world and for the person like you who is reading the comments and will now have another point of view.  (Then you can post it to the Rolls Not Trolls community on Facebook and we’ll ninja fat bomb it with positive comments!) If you hear a fat shaming comment speak up, if you’re feeling non-confrontational you might try something like “I wish we lived in a world where people saw the beauty in bodies of every size” or something similar.

Be a big fat role model for whatever you love to do – it gives other fat people the idea that they can be a big fat role model.  Tell anyone who says you’re “promoting obesity” to fuck right the hell off.

But it starts with just you, by yourself somewhere, deciding that you have had enough, that’s it’s time to pick up a rock and throw it – not because you’re sure it will change the world, but because you’ve had enough and it’s time to  fight back and that if they want a war, you will give them one. As for me, I refuse to become collateral damage in the war on obesity – I will be a Size Acceptance warrior and together we will change the world.

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There are a couple of things that I see used as “proof” of why we should continue to cling to the idea that intentional weight loss is a good idea that involve some seriously questionable logic.

The first and most obvious issue is that, while most people can lose some weight on almost any diet, almost everyone gains it back in the long term. We have no idea how to make people permanently thin. But we get fooled into believing that if temporary weight loss is possible then permanent long term weight loss must also be possible by just doing the same things for longer, or forever.  There’s absolutely no reason to believe that. In fact, the evidence shows the opposite.

The evidence we have says that nearly everyone regains the weight within 5 years no matter how they lost it.  So a lot of studies stop follow up after a few months or a year and say “See, look – it worked!”  I’ve actually seen studies where the researchers said “we assume that if the weight stays off for a year then it will stay off permanently.”  That’s a completely ridiculous thing to say in general for a researcher, but especially when the data we DO have says that weight is regained in 2-5 years. The diet industry has refused to study long-term efficacy of dieting because it would be “too depressing for their clients”.  That’s like giving women thalidomide for morning sickness but not tracking the incidence of birth defects because it’s “too depressing for future moms.”  How is this defensible?  If you can’t get funding for a study with 5 year follow up then any study that you do on weight loss at this point is a waste of money.

The next faulty logic they employ is the belief that losing weight will make people healthier. This weight loss = health idea is based on the assumption that becoming “normal weight” is the same thing as having always been “normal weight”.  There’s no proof that’s true – that assumption has never been tested.  People come in lots of different sizes for lots of different reasons.  In some cases illness causes weight gain, or medication, the person’s natural body size, or something else. Not to mention that the weight loss/ weight cycling process itself could cause health issues, weight loss causes a host of physiological reactions that change the body’s metabolism and athletic potential, sometimes permanently.

By far the most common outcome of weight loss attempts is weight gain, that much is clear. Weight loss attempts have the exact opposite of the intended effect a staggering percentage of the time.  It’s possible that fat people have shorter life spans than thin people, or have more illness than thin people (though I think the evidence shows that is mitigated by healthy habits, and we don’t know what the numbers would look like if fat people didn’t have to deal with so much shame and so many barriers to getting good evidence based healthcare) but if being fat is bad for us then dieting is the absolutely LAST thing anyone should be recommending since the most likely outcome is that we’ll be fatter. It’s like saying that the only way we know how to help joint pain is for people to fly, so everyone with some knee pain should grab a sheet and jump off their roof.  If they don’t want people to be bigger than they are now, then recommending weight loss is the worst idea.

Based on the weight loss industry’s numbers, the more dieting we’ve done the bigger we’ve become (since they tell us that obesity has increased at the same as their profits)  Yet the recommendation that we keep hearing is that we should keep trying to lose weight.  This is just nuts!  Anyone can see that it’s not going to work.  Putting bunches of people on diets sets us up for years and years of “obesity epidemic” rhetoric since dieting will reliably create bigger people.  The only people who benefit from this are the ones selling the diets…hey, wait a minute – you don’t suppose that’s what this is about do you?  They have over 50 years of data to say that their product will work in the short term, fail in the long term, but that people will just keep coming back from more.  Plus they get to use the money we paid them for the product that didn’t work to sell it to us again (including celebrity endorsers who get paid more than 30,000 a POUND to lose weight) to sell the product back to us. What the hell?

I wonder how much encouragement of weight loss there would be if we all stopped giving money to the weight loss industry.  No weekly Weight Watchers fees, no $20,000 stomach amputation surgeries.  If we de-funded the diet industry there wouldn’t be anyone left to spend millions of dollars (to make billions of dollars) selling us magic beans that, in billions of tries over half a century, have never reliably produced beanstalks.

If you’re looking for some inspiration, a slideshow that a number of us have been working on for a while is finally up on NBCs iVillage!  Thirty Three women who said “I quit” to dieting and are happier and healthier for it!

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The Girl Scouts of America made a massive misstep by partnering with the profit-motivated Healthy Weight Commitment Foundation and misappropriating $250,000 to teach Girl Scouts weight control tricks, the most likely outcome of which is an unhealthy relationship with food and disordered eating…

Or that’s how the press release should have started. When I read the actual release (which is from November, 2011 but has recently been recirculated) it struck me that they seemed strangely proud of the fact that they are touting Calories In/Calories Out, otherwise known as “energy balance” theory.  In fact the title of the press release is “Fighting Obesity with Calories In Calories Out.”  I think I can explain that (and I will in a moment) but first let’s take a look at how many ways this is wrong:

First, “Simple Calories In/Calories Out” is probably the most prevalent and persistent myth that exists when it comes to health and weight. Even if they are suggesting it as a method of “preventing obesity”, the main problem is that it’s so difficult to figure out the calories out part of the equation.  Almost everyone knows someone who eats tons of food never works out and stays thin.  On the other side, almost everyone knows a fat person who eats healthy and exercises but doesn’t lose weight (although, curiously, the calories in /calories out proponents typically say that the former is perfectly normal and the latter is impossible).  There is no evidence to suggest that this works.  Worse, it tells girls not to trust their bodies and hunger but to count calories and focus on their weight – a dangerous combination according to studies.

Surely they’re not suggesting it for weight loss since  it’s been studied repeatedly since at least 1959 with consistent results:  utter failure.

In fact, encouraging weight control in kids is highly suspect, perhaps even dangerous.  Over the last decade (since we’ve been focusing on kid’s weight) the number of hospitalizations for eating disorders in kids under twelve is up 119%.  According to research from the University of Minnesota “None of the behaviors being used by adolescents (in 1999) for weight-control purposes predicted weight loss[in 2006]…Of greater concern were the negative outcomes associated with dieting and the use of unhealthful weight-control behaviors, including significant weight gain.”  And yes Virginia, that includes “energy balancing”.

I think that the biggest problem with this completely overblown “OmigodChildhoodObesity Panic” is that it has given way to the idea that we don’t need to test interventions because there’s just. no. time.  So we’re experimenting on a generation of kids.  And we’re doing multiple experiments at the same time – their school has some untested, unproven interventions.  Their doctor has some unproven, untested interventions.  Their extracurricular activities are apparently getting in on the mix.  I got an e-mail from a read who was watching the Armed Forces Network and they had a commercial where a little girl was a role model because she was taking things off her friends trays and telling them what to eat.  Where’s the evidence that little girls bullying little kids results in greater health or thinner kids. If I tried to get IRB approval for this I would get laughed out – it’s dangerous and inappropriate.

So how did this go so wrong?  Who is the Healthy Weight Commitment Foundation?

Let’s start with the information that it’s President is also on the board of the Girl Scouts.  She has an impressive brand management resume but absolutely no background in health or scientific research.

The board chair is the chairman and CEO of PepsiCo.  Impressive business resume, not a single health qualification, or research background.

The Board Chair Emeritus is the CEO of Kellogs. No health qualifications, no research background.

The Vice Chair is the CEO of Hy-Vee (operates more than 230 retail stores in eight Midwestern states). No health qualifications, no research background.

Not to brag, but I have a decently impressive business background as well as research and fitness credentials so let me float a theory:  These people are interested in promoting “energy balance” because it takes to focus off the quality of the food – which is an area where they would otherwise be heavily scrutinized.  They get to say that they are “doing something” about childhood obesity while taking the attention off of their food, and they are doing with with government money and, unbelievably, public donations which they are comfortable asking for on their website (minimum donation – $50)

I don’t actually care what their major malfunction is, they have absolutely no right to run for-profit/CYA experiments on kids.

Whatever your beliefs about the so-called “Childhood Obesity Epidemic”, it’s important to know that we have no idea how to change kid’s weight (or whether a kid’s extra weight is due to their upcoming growth spurt, their body’s natural size, or something else).  There is no proof that teaching calorie counting to Brownies and Girl Scouts makes them healthier or less likely to be fat.  There is plenty of evidence that suggests that teaching calorie counting to Brownies and Girl Scouts makes them more likely to develop eating disorders and an unhealthy relationship with food and exercise. There is no reason in the world to risk it. If someone is suggesting an “obesity prevention” initiative for your kids (or for you) demand to see the evidence that it works long-term and that it doesn’t do harm.  We do not have to be the subjects in a grand (and highly profitable for everyone but us) anti-obesity experiment.

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I don’t have strong feelings for Oprah one way or the other as a TV personality.  But I was sent an article from her website today called “Weight Loss Advice You Haven’t Heard Before” (Spoiler Alert – you’ve totally heard it before) and that created some strong feelings.

I would give almost anything to have an hour to sit down and really talk to Oprah.  I would ask how she can constantly encourage her fans to keep trying to lose weight when she has made a series of diet gurus and their ensuing books rich and famous (Bob Greene, Geneen Roth, Dr. Oz, Rosie Daley, Kathy Freston, Dr. Katz, Dr. Phil, Optifast, Carbohydrate Addicts Diet, and more) without ever achieving permanent thinness.  She has hired personal trainers, personal chefs, and has near infinite resources and yet has not been able to obtain permanent thinness.

If Oprah wants to keep dieting that’s absolutely her right, but I would ask her if she knows that the evidence shows that most people (about 95% of those who diet) have the exact same result as she had and that there are physiological changes that the body makes for the specific purpose of regaining weight.  I would ask if she would stop saying that she knows the weight regain is all her fault and that despite her experiences to the absolute contrary, anybody can lose weight permanently if they try hard enough.  I would ask if sh would stop saying  she’ll “never diet again” when what she means is “I’m totally dieting again.”  I would ask if she would stop posting “easy ways to lose weight” on her website when she more than anyone should know that it’s not “easy”, and as far as her experience shows it’s not even possible.

So now she’s giving us tips we’ve “never heard before” like

• Don’t eat in front of the computer (Is there anyone who hasn’t heard this?)
• Don’t trust yourself  – in fact you should tell your wife that if you eat a dried mango she should donate $1,000 to the Nazi party (ok, I’ll admit I haven’t heard the second part before, but I’m going to say it’s because it’s freaking stupid.)
• Check the serving sizes on labels – a 1/4 second spray of Pam might be fat free, but a 1 second spray probably isn’t blah blah blah (This is oft-repeated and obvious to anyone who ate their fat-free No Shit Sherlock Flakes this morning)
• BEWARE THE EVIL TRIGGER FOODS (Dude, you’re seriously pedaling this as new?  Fun fact: this one is credited to the President and CEO of Weight Watchers, a company that has been successfully sued for deceptive trade practices so often that they are required to give a disclaimer any time they suggest that their product might work.)

Oh joy, that article links to Dr. Oz’s Diet Tips.  Dr. Oz is a cardiologist who has admitted to having almost no knowledge of the research in the fields of weight and health, so I don’t know where he gets off giving diet tips, except that Oprah keeps giving him a forum. (In fact, the “Health” page of her website includes articles about Dr. Oz’s cleanse, diet, and 20 minute workout.  What the… The man is a cardiologist – when I want tips on performing heart surgery he’ll be the first to know.)  His tips are the same tired thing that we’ve been hearing – but don’t take my word for it when you can buy yet another diet book that has absolutely no research to back up that it works – or even that it won’t do the dieters harm.

What in fat hell Oprah? Millions of people go out and buy what you tell them to buy, eat what you tell them to eat, listen to the “diet gurus” and “diet tips” that you publish. What if you decided that it was your responsibility to investigate the long-term efficacy of these things that you are recommending and be honest about what you find out?

Please consider giving up being a failed role model for thinness, and choosing instead to be a successful role model for access to health for every body.  Based on the evidence that exists on weight and health the only evidence-based, responsible course is to focus on healthy behaviors for our healthiest body and let our weight take care of itself.  How about you say that you’re “never dieting again” and this time you mean it. There’s a whole community of experts to support you.

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Last night I had the joy of hosting a screening of Julie Wyman’s amazing film Strong! about three-time Olympian Cheryl Haworth.

I met Julie through the HAES community and the way she conceptualized and handled this move was so deft that I knew as soon as I saw it that I wanted to bring it to Austin.

Julie and Cheryl both came to the screening and I was really impressed with how honest and open they both were.  Cheryl talked openly about her struggles with body acceptance and about how the fact that her body made her successful at her sport didn’t make it easier to live in our culture as a big woman.

That really struck me – one of the things that I thought would be a big positive about the sport of weightlifting is that they get weight divisions and can acknowledge the advantages of having a bigger body.  (In my sport (dance) we definitely don’t have that) But the truth is that nobody is immune to the massive fat-phobia that we are dealing with right now.

The reason I really wanted to bring the film to Austin is that it is so important for fat people to have role models who look like us and Julie gives us that opportunity.  Seeing Cheryl and knowing that a large woman is representing our country in the Olympics is such a huge motivation for me as an athlete and I wanted other people to have that experience.

This film flies in the face of the ridiculous notion that showing a successful athletic fat person “promotes obesity.”  As if people will see us and say “I want to be an athlete – I’ll start by getting fat”.  The whole idea of promoting obesity is utterly stupid (does showing Mary Lou Retton promote shortness?) and serves only to keep positive fat role models out of the media which means that lots of fat people don’t think that fitness is possible for them, or believe that the only “correct” outcome of fitness is weight loss because every fit person they see is thin.

Of course you know that I don’t think anyone is obligated to  exercise, but I find it heartbreaking that so many people of size are turned away from doing movement that they would love to do because they believe they have the “wrong body” (this is bullshit by the way, if you want to dance then you have a dancer’s body – if you want to swim then you have a swimmer’s build), or they don’t think it’s possible since they’ve never seen a fat person doing it – though  there are probably fat people rocking whatever activity it is, but they aren’t shown because of the stupid irrational fear of “promoting obesity”.

There were a lot of moments of the film where I felt a kinship with Cheryl and one of them was when she is in a store and can’t find her size of clothes and she jokes that she finds solace in the fact that she could probably beat up everybody in the place.  I know that one of the reasons  I walk around the world happy and confident is that I’m fit.  I know that however people may be stereotyping me, they probably can’t do half of what I can do physically.  I love walking around in a body that is strong and fit.  When it comes to knowing that I can beat people us (though I never would) there is solace in the fact that I can do a switch-leap which basically makes me a 300 pound flying fatality.

One of the most annoying questions I’m often asked is if I think I’m an “anomaly” among fat people – meaning that I’m active but most fat people aren’t.  My answer is that I’m an anomaly in almost any room I walk into no matter what size the people are, that I think  there are a lot more fat people who are into fitness than people’s stereotypes indicate, and that even if I am an anomaly it’s because fat people are never given fitness role models who look like them, they face stigma and shaming when they do exercise, and they are told the lie that exercise will make them thin when the truth – based on all the evidence – is that it will make us healthier but won’t make us thin.

If there’s some kind of movement that you love, why not try it now and if you don’t have a role model, you can become one!

If you’re interested in getting some support please feel free to join us at the Fit Fatties Forum.  It’s a free forum for people of all sizes to talk about fitness from a HAES perspective. It includes photo and video galleries, discussions and groups for Newbies, Oldbies, Strong Fatties, Runners, Belly Dancers, Yogis and more.

If you want to bring a screening of Strong! to your town (the process that we used was super easy), e-mail me at ragen at danceswithfat dot org  and I’ll get you hooked up with the right people.

Join the Club, Support My Work!

I do HAES and SA activism, speaking and writing full time, and I don’t believe in putting corporate ads on my blog and making my readers a commodity. So if you find value in my work, want to support it, and you can afford it, please consider a paid subscription (it works like a fan club – you get extra stuff, discounts, and you’re always the first to know about things) or a one-time contribution.  The regular e-mail subscription (available at the top right hand side of this page) is still completely free. If you’re curious about this policy, you might want to check out this post.  Thanks for reading! ~Ragen

Jeanette DePatie’s blog about games to help you maintain sanity point during HBOs “Weight of the Nation” reminded me that humor is a part of my activism.  Anybody who knows me knows that I deal with almost everything in my life with humor  Yes there is a war on people who look like me, and yes it’s horrible, and yes I am actively fighting back, but I can’t be intense and pissed all the time or I become someone nobody wants to be around, let alone listen to, and more importantly I become somebody who I don’t want to be around.

In my previous life as a business consultant I taught classes about Administrative Infrastructure to small business owners.  Trust me when I tell you that entrepreneurs would rather shave their head with a cheese grater while chewing on tinfoil than listen to a talk about business process and procedures. So I used humor to keep people interested. People used to tell me that I should do stand-up.  So I did, and it’s been really fun.  (Here’s an only slightly humiliating video of my second open mic – it’s become better with time.)

Now when I do open mics I often work Size Acceptance into my comedy, I make a point that I’m not going to do self-deprecating fat jokes,  I read my hate mail and the responses etc.  People often come up to me afterwards and have conversations with me about SA/HAES. I add humor to my talks as well – I find that some humor lowers people defenses and helps them to be able to hear the message. It also makes it more impactful when the speaker is serious (in a way that wouldn’t work if they spent the entire talk serious and intense.)  I’m not saying that everybody needs to do this, but it works for me.

By the same token everyone doesn’t have to use humor to deal with the daily dose to jackassery that comes at us as fat people, but for many of us (including me) it’s an important coping strategy.  I will absolutely not make self-deprecating jokes – that’s not for me. But monetize my hatemail?  Absolutely.  Play a “Weight of the Nation” drinking game?  You betcha. Watch 41 inspirational speeches in two minutes?  Hell to the yeah!

The world is unbelievably fucked up when it comes to weight and size right now.  It’s not our fault but it becomes our problem and if we use some humor to get through the day then I say screw ’em if they can’t take a joke!

Join the Club, Support My Work!

I do HAES and SA activism, speaking and writing full time, and I don’t believe in putting corporate ads on my blog and making my readers a commodity. So if you find value in my work, want to support it, and you can afford it, please consider a paid subscription or a one-time contribution.  The regular e-mail subscription (available at the top right hand side of this page) is still completely free. If you’re curious about this policy, you might want to check out this post.  Thanks for reading! ~Ragen

I was watching America’s Got Talent (yup, I totally watched it) and there was a very young girl who did Aerial Silk dancing.  She was incredible and had she been older everyone’s eyes would have been locked on her, but all the judges spent their time cringing and looking away – their perception being that as a little girl she was going to fall and get hurt.  They missed out on her talent because of their preconceptions.

This caught my attention because I had just been featured in a fat hate forum where they showed my dance videos, pilates videos and pictures. They took the heel pull picture that you see on the left and put it beside a thin person doing a similar move – they claimed that because we looked different mine was wrong.  They said that I lumbered and waddled and that I lacked grace, which is interesting because the most common compliment I receive is about how graceful I am.

I see this often when fat people post videos of ourselves being athletic.  Even in the face of actual evidence of fathleticism, people deny it’s existence.

In some cases these people are just jackasses who enjoy bashing fat people.  But for others I think that people are trained to see fat bodies as awkward, graceless, waddling etc.  This image is so constantly repeated that I think people aren’t aware that they are operating from stereotype, rather than what they are actually seeing.

It doesn’t help that almost every person we see represented in the media being athletic, dancing, really in any kind of positive light, is thin.  When we are spoon-fed a stereotype day after day it’s not surprising that it’s what we spit back up.

Fat people can be vulnerable to this mistake as well.  We almost never see a body like ours shown in a positive light, shown dancing or being athletic, and so when we see our fat body doing stuff, it looks “wrong”. It’s an insidious form of internalized oppression that becomes a cycle because anytime a fat person dares to succeed at something (other than weight loss) we get accused of “promoting obesity” and anyone who dares to show us succeeding is called “irresponsible.”

So if you are looking for a way to fight back in the war on obesity, one thing you can do is just live. Commit public displays of fatness, be yourself and do what you want in the body that you have now.  Refuse to apologize for your body’s size or shape – ever.  Live your life based on your talents, ignore other’s perceptions.  Be you, change the world.

Join the Club, Support My Work!

I do HAES and SA activism, speaking and writing full time, and I don’t believe in putting corporate ads on my blog and making my readers a commodity. So if you find value in my work, want to support it, and you can afford it, please consider a paid subscription or a one-time contribution.  The regular e-mail subscription (available at the top right hand side of this page) is still completely free. If you’re curious about this policy, you might want to check out this post.  Thanks for reading! ~Ragen