Today we’re going to talk about how the Fat Panic has lead to a school telling parents that they are not allowed to send their kids to school with lunches, but must pay for the school lunches – one of which is pictures in the photo – and doesn’t it just look tasty and nutritious.

Before I get started, if you’ll allow me some quick shameless self-promotion.  I’ll be in NYC in May and the fabulous Golda Poretsky and I will be putting on a  “Dancing with Body Positivity” workshop.  Click here for details (and to see the amazing flyer that Golda made!

Onto today’s blog:

Readers Karen and Lauren sent me an article about what passes for helping children be healthy these days:

In this article  a public school in Chicago has banned students from bringing their own lunches, except in cases where a student has a medical excuse.  Although this has been in place for 6 years, it is getting coverage now because of the whole won’t-somebody-think-of-the-children ob*sity epi-panic that is being led by our First Lady.  The school Principal said “Nutrition wise, it is better for the children to eat at the school…It’s about the excellent quality food that they are able to serve (in the lunchroom). It’s milk versus a Coke.”

The excellent quality of food, huh?  This time last year Chicago students got National press for PROTESTING the quality of the lunches. According to the school they’ve got more vegetables and less junk now, and they only offer reduced fat and fat free mayo and salad dressings. We just talked about this, I highly doubt that foods predominantly composed of chemicals are more healthy than foods that have fat in them  The students say that the food tastes bad and parents say that means that more food goes in the trash and their kids go hungry.

Take another look at those enchiladas.  Yikes.

This doesn’t really add up to me, I wonder if there could be another reason the school wants to do this? Hmmm…Each school lunch is $2.25 for those who don’t qualify for school lunch.  That’s about $400 per student per year in revenue. It’s a k-8 school so each student is worth $3,600 over the duration of their stay to the schools food supplier.  I wonder if they were involved in getting this implemented?  In cases where students are on free or reduced lunch, the school is paid money by the Federal Government.  I wonder how much that revenue factored into this situation?  I know that I could pack a good lunch for less than $2.25 and if parents are having to pay extra for school lunch that’s less budget they have for foods at home.

There is something else that I think bears looking into and that is the way that childhood ob*sity is measured.  It’s our old friend BMI.  As flawed as it is for adults, it is even worse for children.  You know how some children will gain a lot of weight and then have a big growth spurt?  I wonder what happens to those kids when parents and schools restrict calories and force movement in an attempt to make them lose that weight? BMI certainly can’t tell us how tall a kid is going to get. Plus the growth charts used are from the 1950s and included white children almost exclusively – we are telling kids that their weight should be judged based on white kids in the 50’s.

The original article calls this “Nutritional tough love”, and part of an effort to “Combat the country’s childhood ob*sity epidemic”.  First of all, it’s not an epidemic.  Second, since when do we want kids in the firing lines of “combat” of any kind?  Why can’t we manage to be for healthy kids without being against fat ones (especially when Health at Every Size is an option).

Let’s not forget that according to sources sited on the non-profit National Association of Anorexia and Associated Eating Disorders website:

•47% of girls in 5th-12th grade reported wanting to lose weight because of magazine pictures.

• 69% of girls in 5th-12th grade reported that magazine pictures influenced their idea of a perfect body shape.

• 42% of 1st-3rd grade girls want to be thinner.

• 81% of 10 year olds are afraid of being fat.

If we really stopped to think of the children, I think we would be doing better than this.

I find Before and After pictures to be one of the most ubiquitous and insidious forms of body shaming.

First, they are designed to create a situation where we judge bodies as good and bad or, at the very least, better and worse.  I don’t believe that anything good comes out of this.

Second, they are used in money making contexts to “help” me identify my body as bad/worse, and show me that it could be good/better if I just bought whatever they are selling.  That, as the brilliant CJ Legare says, is trying to steal my self-esteem and sell it back to me at a profit. And that’s not ok with me

I can’t help but notice that the person in the before shot always looks miserable and in the after shot they look so happy.  The message seeming to be that anyone who looks like that cannot/should not be happy and that happiness is/should be reserved for those whose bodies are “right and good”. The worst for me is when the before picture is of someone in their sweat pants, eating on the couch before their shower; and the after picture is them standing in the sun, bronzed, sucking in until they are on the verge of fainting, fully made up, dressed up and smiling like they won the lottery.

Also, let’s not forget that they can be fake as hell with or without photo re-touching, as demonstrated in this video from “Bigger, Faster, Stronger” which is a really interesting documentary about steroid use (trigger warning, there are models in the video and also some negative body language)

I’m just suggesting that whether or not you want to get healthier or change the size and shape of your body, you might want to appreciate the body you have now and all of the millions of things it does for you every day (if you’re reading this, consider thanking your body for your vision/hearing, heartbeat, breathing, blinking, etc.)  If you want somewhere to start, try Love Your Body More in Three Simple Steps

Also consider the possibility that there’s no such thing as “before” or “after; maybe there’s only “during” and maybe we are all perfect exactly where we are right this minute.

Like the blog?  Here’s more of my stuff:

Interviews with Amazing Activists!!  Help Activists tell our movement’s history in their own words.  Support In Our Own Words:  A Fat Activist History Project!

Become a member: For just ten bucks a month you can keep this blog ad-free, support the activism work I do, and get deals from cool businesses Click here for details

The Book:  Fat:  The Owner’s Manual  The E-Book is Name Your Own Price! Click here for details

Dance Classes:  Buy the Dance Class DVDs or download individual classes – Every Body Dance Now! Click here for details

Awesome reader Karen sent me an article about healthy foods in schools that I will do a blog on later.  Today I want to focus on one piece of it and that is that in order to be healthier, the schools were only offering low-fat and fat-free options.

It seems that this is the recommendation of Michelle Obama’s “Let’s Move!” campaign, the abhorrent fallacy of which I have already covered in this blog.  A couple of times.

While of course I still think it’s monumentally stupid to be against obese children instead of for healthy ones, today I want to discuss how healthy these low fat and fat free options really are.

Let’s do some comparison shopping:

Ingredient for Regular Sour Cream:  Grade A Cultured Cream

Ingredients for Fat Free Sour Cream:  Cultured Pasteurized Grade A Fat Free Milk and Cream, Modified Corn Starch,Grade A Nonfat Dry Milk, Gelatin, Propylene Glycol Esters, Artificial Color, Xanthan Gum, Sodium Phosphate, Agar, Sodium Citrate, Locust Bean Gum, Vitamin A Palmitate.

I find it very difficult to believe that all of those chemicals are  healthier than just eating Grade A Cultured Cream.  How and why did they modify Corn Starch?  Propylene Glycol Esters?  What the hell?

Let’s look at cookies:

Newman’s Own Creme Filled Cookies: Organic Unbleached Flour, Organic Sugar, Powdered Sugar, Organic Palm Oil, Canola Oil, Organic cocoa, Cocoa, Organic Unsweetened Chocolate, Natural Flavor, Salt, Sodium Bicoarbonate, Soy Lecithin.

Snackwells Creme Cookies:  Enriched Flour (Wheat Flour, Niacin, Reduced Iron, Thiamine, Mononitrate, Riboflavin, Folic Acid) Sugar, Vegetable Shortening (Partially Hydrogenated Canola, Soybean, and/or Cottonseed Oils), Dextrose, Corn Flour, Glycerin, Whey, High Fructose Corn Syrup, Leavening (Baking Soda, Calcium Phosphate), Cornstarch, Emulsifiers (Datem, Mono- and DiGlycerides, Sodium Stearoyl Lactylate), salt, Wheat Starch, Cellulose Gum and Gel, Natural and Artificial Flavor.

The part where they say “partially hydrogenated canola, soybean, and/or cottonseed oils” I find particularly charming.  What do you mean “and/or”?  If you don’t know what’s in these cookies then who the hell does?

And the prize for ingesting all of that crap?   20 calories and 2 grams of fat less than the version that doesn’t contain Datem, Mono- and DiGlycerides and Sodium Stearoyl Lactylate.  Pass.

I once saw salad dressing that was “No calories, fat, carbs, gluten or sugar”.  Ok, anything that makes that claim and isn’t AIR or WATER doesn’t pass my test for being something that goes in my body.

Look, I’m happy for people to eat whatever they want, but when I hear that schools are taking away all of the options except those filled with manufactured chemicals and devoid of actual food, I have to wonder how strong the fat free foods lobby is and who is REALLY looking out kids’ health.

As for me and my house, we will eat real food.

“As long as my insurance and tax dollars continue to pay for there [sic] diabetes, and heart disease, I’ll continue to feel justified in telling every overweight person I see that they need to lose weight.  Shame is powerful and there [sic] fat is costing me real money”

So I read when I broke the cardinal rule of being fat on the internet and read the comments.

First of all, when someone brings this up I typically demand to see their list of things that their tax dollars pay for broken down into things that they want to pay for and things that they don’t.  Nobody has ever produced such a list – that’s because this really doesn’t have anything to do with their tax dollars, it’s simply a convenient way to couch their size bigotry.   Nevertheless, I hear this argument a lot and I think that today is the day to break it down.

It is based first and foremost on the assumption that fat people are unhealthy and going to get diabetes and/or heart disease and that losing weight is possible for most people and will make fat people healthier.  I’m going to look at this two ways.  First the reality/truth, and then if those assumptions were true:

Reality:

We’ve already talked about the “Diabesity” myth.  Also, independent research has shown that the money argument is seriously overblown.  The truth is, you cannot tell how healthy a person is by looking at them, you can only tell what size they are.  There is no such thing as a healthy weight. There are healthy fat people and unhealthy thin people. There are physically active fat people and sedentary thin people. There are fat people who eat a “well balanced diet” (which is to say a diet of which concern trolls would approve) and thin people who eat fast food almost exclusively.  I think almost everyone has a thin friend who eats a ton of crappy food and stays thin, and typically people accept that.  But let a person eat well and still be fat and, in my experience, those same people call you a liar.  Regardless, all of these choices are the right of the person making them, everyone gets to choose how highly they prioritize their health and the path that they choose to get there.   But I digress.

Health is complicated, multidimensional, and not entirely within our control.

But let’s pretend that the assumption is true.

In that case:  I’m fat, so I’m unhealthy. But…

I pay taxes too, and my taxes go to pay for the war on obesity – I’m actually funding a war waged against me by my government. Meanwhile, prior to the Affordable Care Act I had been without insurance for 14 years because insurers were allowed to exclude me based entirely on my BMI.

I’ve never even smoked a cigarette.  And yet my tax dollars go to all the people who get health problems related to smoking.

I don’t drink.  I’ve never even been drunk. And yet my tax dollars pay for cirrhosis, drunk driving accidents and  alcohol poising.

I’ve never done drugs.  And yet my tax dollars pay for people whose lives and bodies fall apart due to drug abuse.

I look both ways before I cross the street.  And yet I have to pay for people who get run over after failing to do so.

I don’t mountain climb, but my tax dollars pay for the healthcare costs of people whose attempts to do so are unsuccessful.

And well they should, because that’s how civilized societies behave. I would rather my tax dollars pay for antibiotics to cure bronchitis than pay for hospitalization for pneumonia.  And I’d rather my tax dollars pay for hospitalization for pneumonia than pay for a public funeral because someone didn’t have access to healthcare. I think that a society with access to healthcare is better from every possible angle and so I’m interested in removing barriers to healthcare, not justifying them with an argument about my tax dollars.

I’ve also noticed that people who want to police my “health” (and by health I actually mean body size which is not the same thing) are never that excited to have other people police their health.  Should vegans only have to pay for the healthcare of other vegans if they believe that’s the healthiest lifestyle?  Should Christian Scientists taxes not have to pay for any healthcare at all?  Since I think that people who make this argument are bullies should I not have to pay for their healthcare since I don’t like bullies?

Marathoners drop dead of heart attacks.  People who do everything “right” die of diseases to which they were genetically predisposed. Other people live their lives in ways with which we disagree, we live our lives in ways with which other people disagree, and all this “won’t somebody think of my tax dollars” hand wringing is nothing but thinly veiled fat bigotry.

Bottom line:

Even if you could prove that being fat makes me unhealthy (which you can’t). And even if you had a method that was scientifically proven to lead to successful long term weight loss  (which you don’t). And even if there was proof that losing weight would make me healthier (which there isn’t). And even if you were going to go around yelling at smokers, drinkers, jay walkers, and thin people who don’t get exercise (which you aren’t) this slope is still too slippery.  And that doesn’t take into account the reality that your premise is completely flawed, your assumptions are faulty, and your method of shaming people is utterly ineffective since you can’t make someone hate themselves healthy.

So I think it would be dandy if they would just shut up.

Like my blog?  Looking for some holiday support or gifts?  Here’s more of my stuff!

The Book:  Fat:  The Owner’s Manual  The E-Book is Name Your Own Price! Click here for details

Become a member: For just ten bucks a month you can keep this blog ad-free, support the activism work I do, and get deals from cool businesses Click here for details

Dance Classes:  Buy the Dance Class DVDs or download individual classes – Every Body Dance Now! Click here for details 

Interviews with Amazing Activists!!  Help Activists tell our movement’s history in their own words.  Support In Our Own Words:  A Fat Activist History Project!

If my selling things on the blog makes you uncomfortable, you might want to check out this post.  Thanks for reading! ~Ragen

I’ve had literally twelve people e-mail me to ask me what I thought about Kirstie Alley’s fall on Dancing with the Stars (video at the end).  So here it is:

She didn’t fall – he dropped her.  Stated a different way, he fell when he suffered an injury and she went down with him.  Based on my viewing it looked to me like he pulled a muscle as he shifted the weight to change direction and finish the move.  His strength didn’t go out as if she were too heavy to hold- he clearly pulled or strained a muscle which could also have to do with how much he warmed up, how hydrated he was, previous injuries etc.  In the interview after she kept saying “We did it a thousand times”.  This move does require the lead to take on a lot of the follow’s weight but there is a lot of physics involved  and I can’t imagine they would have risked it if it didn’t go well in practice.  Injuries happen to dancers and leads drop their thin partners- I’ve seen it happen. Go to YouTube and search for ballroom dance bloopers and you can see thin woman after thin woman get dropped on her ass, her knees, her head, and her pride.

Still, I would be lying if I didn’t say that this sort of scenario terrifies me.  My dance coach is incredibly strong and can absolutely hold me up but if one of the things that caused one of those thousands of YouTube blooper moments happen (the floor is too slick, he slips on an errant rhinestone, he gets a cramp etc.) I’m just a fat girl falling down.

And fat girls falling down are apparently more hilarious than other people falling down.  They sell shirts that say “If a fat girl falls down in the woods, do the trees laugh?”  (No, of course I’m not linking to it here so don’t ask!) And really the only response that I have to that is bite me.

I’m actually quite used to falling down. On the dance floor people often comment on my grace.  Off the dance floor I can be a serious klutz. My ankles are double jointed so sometimes they just roll and I fall down out of no where.  I’m frequently thinking of three or four things while walking around I just run into things.  Big, stationary object things.  It has nothing to do with my weight – I was like this at my lightest weight, I’m like this now.  Today I fell UP some stairs.  I’ve got skills in this area is what I’m saying.

It happened to me at the National Championships.  I was waltzing and I don’t know what happened but my right ankle folded in half (the inside of my food touched the inside of my leg) and I landed hard on my left knee.  When I got up the knee hurt only slightly more than the ankle which was in excruciating pain and I limped my way through two days of competition (there are parts of it I can’t even remember, but I do remember doing East Coast Swing – a really bouncy fast dance that uses a lot of knee and ankle – and  thinking “Can you die from pain?…Shut up brain, we have to dance now.. come on Ragen, get it together and keep smiling”)  But the trees didn’t laugh.  Nobody laughed.  Everybody cheered when I got up and kept dancing and I went on to win a Couple’s National Title. Kirstie got up as well and danced a kick ass routine under a lot of pressure – and that’s what I wish the story was.  Not “fat girl falls down” but “Dancer Rises Up”

I guess my point in all this is to say that people who are laughing at her for “falling” are people who 1. don’t know anything about dancing and 2. would probably wear that shirt about fat girls in the woods.  And who really cares what these people think?  I hope Kirstie doesn’t.

So watch the video and see for yourself, but I think it’s a crime that people watched the fall over and over again instead of watching the trick at 1:00, because that’s bad ass, and her footwork throughout is beautiful.

First, I know that I’m treading on dangerous ground here as I have friends who swear by their Spanx.  As always this blog is all about me in general, and today it’s specifically about my experience with Spanx.  I’m not trying to tell anyone else how to live.  If you wear Spanx, that is awesome and I fully support you.  Are we good?  Excellent, let’s continue:

I don’t really wear shapewear. I think my body’s shape is fine, and  I highly value the ability to have full range of motion, and to take full deep breaths. When I am dancing, I sometimes wear shapewear-esque stuff because I have a very long torso and my shirt will rise up and bare midriff is a penalty. The things I wear for this are purposefully a size larger than I normally wear and offer coverage only – no compression.

For a routine that my cabaret group did this weekend, we wore skin-tight cropped pants and our leader asked us to wear shapewear. Thus began my first date with Spanx. I went by the height/weight chart on the back panel and selected something called Higher Power.

First of all, I broke a sweat trying to get them on, and think I pulled something I’ll need in later life. At first they felt like jeans that are out of the dryer and I was just waiting for them to stretch out. One of the girls on my team burst that bubble. So, with my range of motion and ability to breathe compromised I went off to the show.

Today as I was cleaning up I found the package that my medievil torture device Spanx came in. And I got irritated all over again.

It says “Spanx started with $5000 and a dream – to make the world a better place…one butt at a time!”

Big fat fail over here- my world is a better place when I can freaking breathe. My world is a better place when someone is not trying to convince me that making myself into a human sausage will make the world a better place.

Then I saw the picture on the back:

Are you kidding me with this crap?

Cook a meal:  If you happen to be cooking me a meal in the hopes that it will get you laid…congratulations you’ve got an excellent strategy there.  If after that meal we find ourselves naked, and your body is suddenly a different size and shape than it was a minute ago, I’m going to think that’s weird and it will probably kill the mood.  Just sayin’.

Put Out a Fire:  First of all, I hate to nitpick (ok, no I don’t) but the girl in the high heels and compression undergarments is not putting out a fire – she is defying gravity and any modicum of ladder safety in her snazzy underpants, leaving the fire raging behind her.  Second,  I have to wonder how female firefighters feel about this portrayal.  Third, I think I might rather fend for myself than deal with a rescue attempt by someone whose attention is on whether or not she has a muffin top.

Win a Race:  This one really kills me (and not just because this woman appears to be running in high heels without a bra on, beating people with the wost running form I’ve ever seen, and has been awarded her medal WHILE breaking the tape at the finish line):  it turns out that doctors are having to tell teen athletes to stop wearing Spanx because tight garments can cause pain and numbness in the thigh if they squeeze the lateral femoral cutaneous nerve, which runs down the abdomen just below the hipbone.   This article is from “Shots” which is the health blog for NPR.

Unfortunately the last line says “Shot’s Advice:  Kids, leave the Spandex to us middle-aged women, who really need it.”  I’m calling bullshit. First because we all have a lateral femoral cutaneous nerve – it doesn’t go away after our teen years so adult women are at the same risk.  More importantly,  I’m going to say that nobody NEEDS Spanx, and I think that a health blog telling middle-aged women that they need Spanx is disgusting.  And the fact that the author included herself doesn’t make that better. I’m curious if they got paid for that endorsement. (For a really interesting ancillary article about the differences between uniforms of male and female athletes, check this out.)

If you want to wear Spanx, then awesome – rock those bitches.  But don’t try to make it an issue of my self-esteem by attempting to convince me that I will somehow be better or, even more ludicrously, make the WORLD a better place if I use super-tight underwear to temporarily change the size and shape of my body. You can sell a false sense of self-esteem somewhere else, I’m all stocked up with the real stuff here.

On an article I was reading, a commenter suggested that Weight Loss Surgery (WLS)  should be mandatory for anyone with a BMI over 40.  (I think that there are a lot of professional athletes who would take exception to this, but that’s another point). Ostensibly this commenter is just concerned about my health and how much money my deatfatz are going to cost the country.

As always, I absolutely respect people’s choices including their choice to have weight loss surgery. That being said, there’s some stuff I don’t get about the health thing.

First, from an intuitive perspective

Lap Band – I just don’t think that my internal organs do their best work when being cut in half by a foreign object.

Gastric Bypass – I think that my internal organs do their best work when they are left whole and in my body. I used to get horrible strep throat and my doctor said that surgery could cure it but at my age (27 at the time) is was pretty risky.  Of course, I solved the problem with non-traditional medicine, but the point is that now at 34 they are perfectly happy to give me a more complicated  surgery with a much lower track record of success.

Questionable Claims

You hear a lot that these surgeries “cure diabetes”.  I don’t have diabetes but I did just read that more information is coming out saying that the claims that the lap band cures diabetes may be completely erroneous.  Instead, studies are showing that the surgery may just mask it.  Charming.

Complications

A team of Belgian Researchers found that “as many as half their patients, followed for at least 12 years, needed to have the band removed in that period. And in more than a quarter, the band had gnawed its way through the wall of the stomach.”  There are issues with the sample size of research methods that cause this study to lack statistical significance, but when I hear “gnawed its way through the walls of the stomach” it’s enough to make me want to ask more questions.

Really, Really Bad Complications

And then there is this.  It is a poster put out by the American Society for Metabolic and Bariatric Surgery for handling surgery patients who come into the emergency room.  The first line I saw said “Bright red blood by mouth or rectum, bloody drainage”.  Yikes – they did not have me at “hello”!

Here is a very well-written blog by someone who had three WLSs and is still fat – certainly not the WLS fairytale we’re so often sold.

I keep going back to the core philosophy of my personal health plan:  Healthy behaviors have the best chance of leading to a healthy body.

So in order to evaluate WLS, I have to ask myself some questions.  (For now I’ll set aside the fact that by every conceivable measure of health I am in perfect health)

• Do I believe that I would be healthier if I had elective surgery that puts a band around one of my internal organs to constrict its size and function?
• Do I think that a doctor (whose stands to make 20K from my surgery) has a better plan for the routing of my digestive system than my body does?  (I once had a massage therapist who worked on a lot of ballerinas say to me “I just wish I could be there when they try to explain to their creator that they had a better idea for foot construction than the creator did”.  I feel much the same way about Gastric Bypass)
• Do I think it’s healthy to eat an amount of food that is consistent with what we see in anorexic patients?
• Is it a good idea to undergo major surgery which in over forty years has never been shown in proper studies to have any long-term improvements to actual health or that lives are saved or extended.   (For more on this, check out this excellent article on WLS, including links to the report that showed that “three years after surgery, the typical patient is still ob*se.”)
• How do I feel about my 68.8% chance of dealing with recurring vomiting and my 10% chance of becoming a chronic vomiter (referred to as “surgical induced bulimia”)?
• Do I want to volunteer for a surgery which causes somewhere between 2 and 6% of it’s patients to DIE in 30 days after surgery (making it the highest risk elective surgery)

No. No. No. No. No. Hell to the No.  I think that the person who commented that I should be required to have WLS  can go ahead and get it themselves and let me know how it goes, I’ll pass.

You may have already heard about Kelly Gneiting.  He is a 400 pound trained sumo wrestler who just finished his second LA marathon in 9 hours, 48 minutes.  This was an improvement of more than 2 hours over his previous time. And it was no ordinary marathon – according to reports it was extremely cold and the rain has been described by some of the participants as “torrential”.

I was searching for stories about him today, and I came upon a runners forum discussion about him (WARNING:  reading this may make you want to reach for the brain bleach).  Maybe I’m naive, but I was honestly shocked to find the comments largely unsupportive.  Since I have a rule about not seeking out people who disagree with me and commenting on their blogs, I thought I’d respond here:

“At his size, this just doesn’t seem like any activity is healthy.”

You have to love a lose/lose scenario.  “I think you’re too fat, but I don’t believe that you should move your body because of your epic fatness”.  Seriously?  To me this always sounds a whole lot like “I like feeling superior to fat people, so stay where you are fatty and I’ll keep putting you down to make myself feel better”.

“I guess it’s hard for me to comprehend how a body in that shape could PHYSICALLY handle the stress when it has to deal with the stress of keeping his body going on a normal day.” and “is running in that poor of physical condition dangerous?”

You don’t know what shape he is in.  You only know how much he weighs.  THEY ARE NOT THE SAME THING.  Since you’re writing this comment after the marathon, you could certainly have chosen to respect the fact that he is an athlete of the same caliber as anyone who finishes a marathon.

“At 405 lbs he probably has a very difficult time just walking”

Not that difficult – since he just jogged and walked 26.2 miles. The truth is right in front of you, how are you missing it? Please re-evaluate your assumptions.

“The energy expended in his bid to have others qualify/validate him would be better spent improving his circumstances and his physical health.”

He ran a freaking marathon – why do you think that you should judge his circumstances or health?  Also, let’s be clear – I won’t speak for other fat athletes but when I use my platform to point out that I don’t fit your stereotypes, it’s not a bid for your validation.  It’s a courtesy to you,  I’m not asking for your approval,  I am doing you the favor of providing you with an opportunity to rethink your stereotypes.

A blog  by Rick Chandler at NBC sports (WARNING:  Sheer jackassery) said “But taking half a day to finish a marathon, and walking the great majority of it, is not really a sports accomplishment, is it? It’s just kind of a long walk to the store.”

He.  Finished.  A.  Marathon.  How dare anyone think that they have the right to dole out the title of “athlete” or try to belittle his accomplishment?  According to several sources I looked at, only 0 .1% – 1% of people in the US have ever completed a marathon.  I don’t care how much he weighs, or how long it took him – he is in ELITE company and Rick Chandler can go straight to hell.

I hope that these kinds of attitudes don’t discourage people from pursuing movement options that they love.  I hope that you do whatever makes your body happy.  If you say that you are an athlete then I believe you and I support you –   athlete to athlete!

If you are interested in a weight-neutral discussion about fitness (for people of all sizes and abilities) you can check out the Fit Fatties Forum at www.fitfatties.com.

Kirstie Alley kicked ASS on Dancing with the Stars:

So of course in his recap George Lopez  said that she was a fantastic dancer and congratulated her on her second place finish.  Just Kidding!  He said “She did a nice job, her little hooves tapping away.  Before the show she went to the market and then she had roast beef and this is her going all the way home” followed by a video of a pig. Keep it Klassy George.

And Infdaily ran with the headline ” Kirstie Alley Celebrates her DWTS Lead By Going Out To Dinner – Naturally”.  Because of course, Kirstie is the only contestant who eats.  They also said “There’s no better way to celebrate a good night than with a nice meal.  And Kirstie knows that better than any of us.”  Do you suppose they mean that Kirstie’s had more to celebrate in her life than any of them?  I didn’t think so either.

Ok, so George Lopez and infdaily can bite me.  But here’s the quote that most bothered me (from the infdaily article)

Alley may be the underdog and the oldest competitor in the show but the lady can moves those curves of hers! And if she loses the hoped for 30 pounds over the course of the competition, Kirstie’ll only get better.

NO.  No no no no no. This is bullshit, pay attention infdaily:  by this logic Kirstie could just as easily improve by gaining weight.  You see I’m a much better dancer than she is and I’m pretty sure I’ve got a good 100  pounds on her. I’m sure it’s not that I’ve been dancing my whole life, it’s got to be my weight. (The word of the day is, apparently, sarcasm.)

Kirstie will get better as she dances more and gains technique, confidence and greater proprioception and kinesthetic awareness.  If she loses 30 pounds she will simply have a smaller body while doing it.  Of course, if she experiences short term weight loss any improvement that she makes as a dancer will be credited to her smaller body and not her training, strength, stamina and flexibility work, of which the weight loss is, statistically, most likely a short term side effect.

I feel her pain, I’ve been told on several occasions:   “You’re such a good dancer, think of how good you could be if you lost weight”.  The thing is, I’d dance exactly the same.  If I lose weight, then I’ll look like they expect a good dancer to look, and that will make them more comfortable.  And while I can understand their desire to be more comfortable, it’s not really my responsibility.   You are the boss of your underpants: Question your stereotypes, get the hell over it, or live in discomfort – it’s your call.

So go ahead with your bad self Kirstie – you rocked it and I’m rooting for you. Maybe if you gain 100 pounds you’ll improve your dancing.  Or maybe, and I know this will sound crazy but stick with me here, maybe you will improve with practice.

Speaking of fat dancers… hey look it’s me!

My work was CRAZY last week so I’m sorry for the lack of posts and replies. I definitely missed seeing your comments in my inbox!

I’ve been struggling with the blog because I’ve been in kind of a weird place.  While I was away I got some suggestions from readers on stuff to blog about:

There’s a twitter hash tag right now called “how to piss off a fat person” where person after person says hateful mean spirited things about fat people.

A purported “wellness center” run by “healthcare professionals” has the language “Are you dealing with “man-boobs”? Or “muffin-top”? on their wellness website.

A friend told me that he was in love with me for a long time before he got married but just “couldn’t date a fat chick”.  It made me remember that there are people who reject me as a possible partner out of hand because they don’t find my body amazing and beautiful – I honestly forget that sometimes.

I had a moment of feeling some combination of sad and angry about all of it, but then I came to some realizations:

I would never, ever, spend my time writing hateful and mean-spirited things about a group of people. I’m way better than that. How broken do you have to be to think that this is a good way to spend your limited time on Earth?

I found out about the “Wellness Center” from someone who asked me what I thought, so I had the opportunity to un-recommend them and maybe save some people from their business model of taking client’s self esteem and selling it back to them at a profit (as my friend CJ Legare would say).

The fact that dating me means choosing to see beyond the stereotype of beauty is a natural screening process for cowards.  And that’s awesome, because you must be this brave to ride this ride.

And then there was Glee (SPOILERS AHEAD)

First, the speech that Blaine gave Kurt and then the amazing kiss.  I remember being in college and watching Ellen’s coming out episode and all the controversy around her just saying that she was gay.  When I see how far we’ve come as a society when it comes to being ok with people loving each other, it makes my heart so happy.

Lauren and Puck – so much yay.

And then the final song.  The icing on the cake of my crazy week.  How can you not love lyrics like

And hey, all I do is shake it off
I’ll get you back when I’m your boss
I’m not thinkin’ ’bout you haters
‘Cause hey, I could be a superstar
I’ll see you when you wash my car

You wanna be a loser like me

Then all my happy came back.  I remembered that I am one of only 2 in 10 women who actually like their bodies.  I remembered that I am lucky enough to love to doing things that I’m really good at and for which I’m appreciated.  My life is actually incredibly awesome.

Yes, horrible things are being done to fat people and there are blogs to write and wrongs to right but today I’m just going to take a breath and be grateful for a minute because plenty of people want to be a loser like me!