I was recently interviewed by Maria Southard Ospina at Elite Daily about my thoughts on being fit and fat. There were a couple of points that I thought were the most important and Ms. Ospina highlighted them perfectly.

The first was the fact that, as I type in an article on a nearly daily basis, nobody is obligated to participate in fitness. Fitness is not a barometer of worthiness or morality. Participating in fitness does not make someone better than a person who does something else with their free time. Running a marathon and watching a Netflix marathon are morally equivalent activities (seriously.) Nobody of any size is obligated to participate in fitness, but everybody of every size should be welcomed.

The main point of the article was about separating fitness from weight loss and approaching movement from a place of joy.  The article quotes me as saying:

I hear from people all the time who gave up on exercise because it didn’t make them thin and who were miserable exercising because the only reason they ever moved their body was out of hatred of it. When they come back to movement from a size-positive perspective they get to have a magical experience in which they get to love and appreciate their body, while they enjoy moving it.

This is a big deal. Diet culture has screwed countless people over when it comes to their chance to approach movement from a place of joy, and that sucks. So what does it look like to approach fitness from a place of joy:

You pick the goal or lack thereof

Maybe it’s strength, stamina or flexibility gains. Maybe you want to be able to pick up your niece. Maybe you just want to dance because you want to dance and you don’t care about anything else. You can choose to do some epic fitness thing because you want to and not for the joy of it. You are in control here, any goal – or no goal – is completely valid.

You pick the venue

You might want to deal with a gym where you could face fatshaming bullshit, or you might want to find a class specifically for fat folks, or work out to videos in your living room. It’s all up to you. Remember that none of this should be necessary, since every fitness environment should be fat friendly, but until fatphobia is solved, we still have choices.

You can try different things with absolutely no commitment

Try olympic weightlifting, obstacle course racing, hot yoga, and pole dancing. Try them all in the same week, whatever (if you’re just getting back into movment or you’re trying things you’ve never done before, you’ll likely want to plan rest days. It’s no fun to be the most enthusiastic person in traction.) The point is that you can try things out at your own pace with no stress because…

You can quit whenever you want

Quit after two years, two weeks, or two minutes into your first class. This isn’t Junior High Softball where you made a commitment to the team – there’s no shame in learning that there’s something that you don’t really want to do anymore (or at all.) Not having fun? Feel free to walk away and never look back.

You don’t have to do this

I think the key to approaching movement with joy is the realization that you don’t have to do movement at all. Even if doing so would make you healthier (by any of the many definitions of health.) Our health isn’t entirely within our control, and there are a ton of things that we can do to try to support our health (including movement,) but we don’t have to do any of them (including movement.)

If you are looking for support around a weight-neutral health practice, you can check out my Wellness For All Bodies Program. It’s $25.00 ($10 for DancesWithFat members)
Click here for all the details and to register!

If you are looking for support around appraching fitness from a weight-neutral perspective, check out the Fit Fatties community on Facebook. We have over 5,000 members and a community with no diet talk, food talk or weight loss talk.

You can read the full article on Elite Daily here!

If you value my work, you can support my ability to do more of it with a one-time contribution or by becoming a member.

Like this blog?  Here’s more cool stuff:

 Wellness for All Bodies Program: A simple, step-by-step, super efficient guide to setting and reaching your health goals from a weight-neutral perspective.  This program can be used by individuals, or by groups, including as a workplace wellness program!
Price: $25.00 ($10 for DancesWithFat members)
Click here for all the details and to register!

Book and Dance Class Sale!  I’m on a journey to complete an IRONMAN triathlon, and I’m having a sale on all my books, DVDs, and digital downloads to help pay for it. You get books and dance classes, I get spandex clothes and bike parts. Everybody wins! If you want, you can check it out here!

Book Me!  I’d love to speak to your organization. You can get more information here or just e-mail me at ragen at danceswithfat dot org!

I’m training for an IRONMAN! You can follow my journey at www.IronFat.com or on Instagram.

If you are uncomfortable with my offering things for sale on this site, you are invited to check out this post.

Here in the US we are celebrating Memorial Day. For many people that means time with family and friends, with a BBQ or some kind of food situation being a very traditional way to spend that time.

Every time one of these holidays comes around I hear from readers whose families and friends are behaving badly – setting out a feast and then using the opportunity to food police, fat shame, and generally make their fat family members miserable. I offer the following repost, both to help if you are being food-policed and/or fat-shamed, and to help if you see someone being food-policed and/or fat-shamed and want to support them.

If you’re being food policed or fat-shamed:

Ah, is there anything more fun than being under surveillance by the Friends and Family Food Police?  There are only a couple of things that I can think of – root canal, shaving my head with a cheese grater, a fish hook in the eye…

This happens to almost all of my fat friends, but to be clear food judgment and shaming happens to, and hurts, people of all sizes and it’s never ok.

First, I always suggest that you be prepared for boundary setting when you go into this type of situation.  Think about what your boundaries are, and what consequences you are willing to enforce.  So think about what you would be willing to do – Leave the event?  Stay at a hotel?  Cease conversation until the person can treat you appropriately?  Be sure that you know what you want and that you can follow through. Then follow a three-step process:

1. State your boundary clearly (ie:  it’s not ok to talk to me about my weight)
2. State the consequences if your boundary is violated (if you continue to talk to me about my weight I’ll go home and we can try again next year.)
3. Follow through with the consequences if it comes to that. This is really important, otherwise, you just teach people that your boundary setting is idle threats.

It can also help to have some responses ready.  So you’re at a holiday BBQ, you take seconds on Aunt Agnes’s potato salad and someone asks the dreaded question:  “Do you need to eat that?” It seems like the table falls silent, waiting for your reply.  What do you say?

I suggest you find your happy (or at least your non-homicidal) place, and try one of these:

Quick and Simple (said with finality)

• Yes (and then eat it)
• No (and then eat it)

If you were to eat it with exaggerated joy, moaning, exclamations of deliciousness etc., I would support your choice.

Answer with a Question (I find it really effective to ask these without malice, with a tone of pure curiosity.  If you’re not in the mood to have a dialog about this, maybe skip these, or use a tone that makes it clear that you aren’t so much looking for a response as you are looking for the person to think harder about what’s coming out of their mouth than what’s going in yours.)

• Why do you think that’s your business?
• What led you to believe that I want you to police my food intake?
• I thought that you were an accountant, are you also a dietitian?

Pointed Response (be ready with a consequence if the behavior continues)

• I find that inappropriate and offensive, please don’t comment on my food choices.
• What I eat is none of your business, and your commenting on it is not ok.
• I have absolutely no interest in discussing my food intake with you.
• I’m not soliciting opinions about my food choices.

Cathartic (but probably not that useful if you want to create an opportunity for dialog)

• Yes, because dealing with your rudeness is depleting my glycogen stores at an alarming rate
• If I want to talk to the food police, I’ll call Pie-1-1
• I’m sure you’re not proud of the completely inappropriate behavior you just exhibited, I’m willing to forget this ever happened
• No, but using my fork to eat helps to keep me from stabbing you with it
• I don’t believe that guilt is good for my health and I’m definitely resisting arrest by the Family and Friends Food Police.

What do you do if you witness food policing/fat shaming?

There are several options and which option you choose depends on how you feel on any given day, your relationship with the people involved, and what you are comfortable with:

Immediate and Direct

Say something immediately in the situation – you can be serious or try a little humor.

• Wow, that’s seriously messed up.  We all like you better as an uncle than a self-appointed food policeman.

• If we want the food police we’ll call pie-1-1.  Let’s keep our attention on our own plates.

Talk About It Later

When you say something in the moment there is the risk of further embarrassing/drawing attention to the victim of the shaming, or giving them unwelcome support (regardless of your intention.) So I suggest that you not use that tactic unless you are very sure that the person will be comfortable with you standing up for them. If not, then addressing it later might be a better choice.  For this you wait until later and then approach the two people separately.

You might share with the person who got shamed that you saw what happened and that you are sorry that they were treated so poorly.  You can share your own story of how you realized that the problem wasn’t you but the people who think that their beeswax is located on your plate (or body.)  You might share some tools that you use to deal with it.

Then you talk to the shamer, let them know that what they did was dangerous, that talking like that can lead to\ disordered relationships with food and their bodies that can cause them to develop eating disorders or see their bodies as bad and unworthy of care (especially for impressionable kids who overhear.) Maybe tell them that even though you believe they meant well, you are really uncomfortable with them commenting on other people’s food choices.

Global Statement

In this option you follow up a shaming statement with a non-specific global statement, it can be a little more immediate but without putting any more focus on the victim of shaming.

• I wish we lived in a world where people didn’t make comments about other people’s food choices.

• I wish we lived in a world where bodies of all sizes were celebrated.

Distract/Change the Subject

If you are going to go with the “Talk about it later” option, or if you aren’t planning to address it for whatever reason (a totally valid option) you can try to give the person being shamed some relief by distracting the shamer/changing the topic:

• How about that recent/upcoming sportsball game and/or local sportsballing team?

• How are your bowel movements? (and if they look surprised you can say “I’m sorry, I thought we are asking each other inappropriate personal questions.”)

• I need to get this recipe from you – who knew that you could get this much stuff to float in jello! (This may only work in the South…)

To me the most important thing about understanding shaming is that the problem is the shamer’s bad behavior and not whatever their victim is doing. I’ve found it helpful to suggest that if someone who is being shamed is feeling embarrassment, they consider that they aren’t embarrassed for themselves, but for the shamer who is making a complete and total ass of themselves.

Have other ideas?  Please feel free to leave them in the comments!

Like this blog?  Here’s more cool stuff:

 Wellness for All Bodies Program: A simple, step-by-step, super efficient guide to setting and reaching your health goals from a weight-neutral perspective.  This program can be used by individuals, or by groups, including as a workplace wellness program!
Price: $25.00 ($10 for DancesWithFat members)
Click here for all the details and to register!

Book and Dance Class Sale!  I’m on a journey to complete an IRONMAN triathlon, and I’m having a sale on all my books, DVDs, and digital downloads to help pay for it. You get books and dance classes, I get spandex clothes and bike parts. Everybody wins! If you want, you can check it out here!

Book Me!  I’d love to speak to your organization. You can get more information here or just e-mail me at ragen at danceswithfat dot org!

I’m training for an IRONMAN! You can follow my journey at www.IronFat.com

If you are uncomfortable with my offering things for sale on this site, you are invited to check out this post.

CrossFit Logan Martin in Pell City, Alabama has put up a sign that says “Tired of being fat and ugly? Just be ugly.” When people pointed out that being in the business of appearance-based shaming is not a great look for a gym (or, you know, anyone,) owner Scott White decided his best move was to tell the people who he targeted with his offensive ad how they should feel and react:

“Come in and talk to me. We’re super nice. I get along with everybody. I love everyone. We’re a Christian-based gym. And so a message of love is what we preach here. You know you can’t take yourself too seriously. Especially when it comes to a fitness journey.”

I’m not feeling the love there Scott (or the “super nice-ness”) and you’ve made it very clear how you feel about people who look like me, so the absolute last thing I’m going to do is walk into your gym to talk to people who put up this sign and then defended it. What I am feeling is that you think it’s perfectly ok to harm fat people. I’m feeling that you are likely being purposefully, aggressively obtuse. I’m feeling like it’s ridiculous to try to defend appearance-based shaming by claiming a “christian” identity. I mean, what’s next – selling WWJFS (Who Would Jesus Fat Shame) bracelets?

While obviously nobody of any size is obligated to participate in fitness (and participating doesn’t make someone better than those who don’t) the truth is that fitness culture can be incredibly unwelcoming to fat people, and then our thin-obsessed society turns around and blames and shames fat people for not engaging in fitness culture. Here is a place that is supposed to be about gaining fitness that, instead, is shaming fat people for how they look (and before somebody tries to claim otherwise, suggesting that fat people should want to look different than we do now is absolutely shaming people for how they look,) and suggesting that fat people should join CrossFit not to gain fitness, but so they aren’t the subject of shaming (like the kind of shaming the gym is doing with this sign.) Obviously, that’s total crap and what this gym is trying to do is profit from appearance-based stigma, and thus, they can bite me.

I also want to point out the all-too-common practice of someone who isn’t in a marginalized group making a “joke” at that group’s expense, and then trying to make themselves the arbiter of how the people they are oppressing should react – and the “correct” reaction always seems to be to calm down and learn to “take a joke.” I don’t think the problem is that marginalized populations can’t “take a joke,” I think the problem is that we live in a society that is comfortable telling groups of marginalized people that they need to “toughen up” and become better at being stigmatized and made fun of without complaint, so that other people can laugh at their expense without having to feel badly or have their bullying behavior pointed out. Oppressive behavior is not ok just because some people think it’s funny.

Most of the articles I’ve seen about this focus on whether or not the sign is legal. The gym was asked to take it down or face a $500 fine because it doesn’t meet the local requirements for a sign. Apparently, they’ve worked with the city and received a deadline extension and fatphobes have created a GoFundMe to cover the fees lest the gym not be able to shame fat people through signage.  Other articles claim (though without giving any method of calculation that I’ve seen) that the majority of people want the sign to stay up.

If that’s true it’s quite sad, but it really doesn’t matter to anyone who wants to be a decent human being, because it doesn’t matter how many people want to oppress a group, oppression is still wrong. And because internalized oppression is a thing, and no community is a monolith, it doesn’t even matter if some people who are part of the marginalized group think it’s ok. The standard shouldn’t be how many people are ok with a marginalized group being oppressed, the standard should be doing our best not to shame or marginalize anyone.

If you value my work, you can support my ability to do more of it with a one-time contribution or by becoming a member.

Like this blog?  Here’s more cool stuff:

 Wellness for All Bodies Program: A simple, step-by-step, super efficient guide to setting and reaching your health goals from a weight-neutral perspective.  This program can be used by individuals, or by groups, including as a workplace wellness program!
Price: $25.00 ($10 for DancesWithFat members)
Click here for all the details and to register!

Book and Dance Class Sale!  I’m on a journey to complete an IRONMAN triathlon, and I’m having a sale on all my books, DVDs, and digital downloads to help pay for it. You get books and dance classes, I get spandex clothes and bike parts. Everybody wins! If you want, you can check it out here!

Book Me!  I’d love to speak to your organization. You can get more information here or just e-mail me at ragen at danceswithfat dot org!

I’m training for an IRONMAN! You can follow my journey at www.IronFat.com

If you are uncomfortable with my offering things for sale on this site, you are invited to check out this post.

Today a new blog reader asked me “I’ve heard you talk about “diet culture” but what do you mean when you say that, I mean, what are the downsides?” Well, unless you are one of the people profiting from diet culture, it’s pretty much nothing but downside. Still let’s look at some specifics:

Conflates size and health, pathologizes some body sizes

Diet culture sells the lie that weight and health are the same thing (despite the fact that it’s plainly observable that there are healthy and unhealthy people of all sizes – knowing, of course, that health isn’t an obligation, barometer of worthiness, or entirely into our control.)  Diet culture seeks to pathologize body sizes (with terms like “overweight,” and “obese”) because it creates a greater market for diet products that don’t work.

Encourages following external rules about what, when, and how much to eat

Diet culture tries to convince us that we can’t be trusted to choose what to eat or how much as if what they suggest instead isn’t completely ridiculous.

Suggests that people are more or less good/moral/worthy based on their body size

We see this in the headless fatty pictures, and in the suggestion that someone’s body size tells us whether we should vote for them.

Creates thin privilege – makes thinness a gatekeeper for jobs/benefits/comfort/accommodation

In telling us that thin people are worthy and fat people are not, diet culture creates a culture where fat people are not seen as “deserving” of the same basic accommodations as thin people – chairs, blood pressure cuffs, seats on a plane, safe restraints on amusement park rides, etc. It also makes being thin the gatekeeper for being hired and paid fairly. It tells us to assume that someone’s size can tell us how good a singer, actor, or dancer they are, or you in a way that makes being thin a privileged identity (even though, yes, bad things still happen to thin people, and diet culture still hurts people of all sizes.)

Suggests movement as punishment for, or prevention of, being fat, rather than for other reasons like fun, or personal goals

Nobody is obligated to participate in fitness, and participating in fitness doesn’t make someone better than those who don’t. But for many of us, things that could be fun hobbies get ruined by a culture that suggests that the only reason to exercise is to punish or bodies for being fat, or prevent them from getting that way. That’s total crap. Many a messy breakup with exercise could have been avoided if people weren’t given such messed up ideas about movement.

Views fat people as less valuable – more risk-able

A thin person goes to the doctor with type 2 diabetes. They are given interventions that are shown to control T2D with minimum risks. A fat person goes to the doctor with the exact same symptoms. They are told that they should have a surgery that amputates part of their stomach and creates disease in the small bit that remains, even though organizations who advocate for this procedure claim that it kills 15 out of 1,000 people who have it (likely a low-balled number because of the tendency for blaming the patient for dying because they are fat.) Those who do survive can be left with horrible lifelong side effects and require many more surgeries, many people gain their weight back, and many people end up seeing their T2D return. Not to mention that fat people are prescribed (highly profitable) medications that could literally kill us, for the small hope of losing just a few pounds. Fat bodies are seen as infinitely more riskable than thin bodies. Doctors seem to believe that the misery that is created by fatphobia means that we are better off literally dying to be thin than trying to live our best life in a fat body (rather than, you know, ending fatphobia.)

Diet culture creates a world that is permeated by discussions of food, weight, exercise, diets. The supposed “right” to discuss these things in every environment is fervently defended.

In diet culture you can’t turn on a radio, television, look at a billboard, open a magazine (or look at the cover for that matter,) without hearing diet and weight loss talk – this is significant because weight loss talk reinforces the idea that thin bodies are better than fat bodies which reinforces all the downsides we just talked about. Diet culture means that you can’t have a Facebook group with a no weight loss talk rule, without needing an army of moderators to delete all the posts of people who insist that, even though they know that the rule is no weight loss talk, they feel that their weight loss talk is special and that they should be able to talk about it.

Diet Culture Perpetuates Eating Disorders and Prevents Full Recovery

In a culture where hating your body and being terrified of being or becoming fat or gaining weight is considered normal, eating disorders can be expected and full eating disorder recovery can be impossible.

Nothing good comes from diet culture. If we want a world where people can actually pursue health by their own definition, prioritization, and path – then they need people to be able to get honest information, we need people (and their families, friends, and healthcare providers) to have the opportunity to see their bodies as worthy of care, and the access to the things that they need to pursue their goals. Diet culture (and the for-profit healthcare system it rests upon) will never allow that to happen. So we need a paradigm shift to a Health at Every Size and Size Acceptance paradigm.

If you value my work, you can support my ability to do more of it with a one-time contribution or by becoming a member.

Like this blog?  Here’s more cool stuff:

 Wellness for All Bodies Program: A simple, step-by-step, super efficient guide to setting and reaching your health goals from a weight-neutral perspective.  This program can be used by individuals, or by groups, including as a workplace wellness program!
Price: $25.00 ($10 for DancesWithFat members)
Click here for all the details and to register!

Book and Dance Class Sale!  I’m on a journey to complete an IRONMAN triathlon, and I’m having a sale on all my books, DVDs, and digital downloads to help pay for it. You get books and dance classes, I get spandex clothes and bike parts. Everybody wins! If you want, you can check it out here!

Book Me!  I’d love to speak to your organization. You can get more information here or just e-mail me at ragen at danceswithfat dot org!

I’m training for an IRONMAN! You can follow my journey at www.IronFat.com

If you are uncomfortable with my offering things for sale on this site, you are invited to check out this post.

 

This popped up in three Facebook messages from readers at virtually the same time today, so I decided it was a sign to post about it. One reader did her research to make sure that a destination that she wants to check out at on vacation is accessible, but is worried about how to ask for it when the time comes. Another was uncomfortable at the doctor’s office because they don’t have many fat friendly chairs (don’t even get me started about fat people and chairs,) and the ones they had were taken up by thin people. The third wanted to know when it’s appropriate to ask for accommodations (spoiler alert: you are obviously never obligated to ask for accommodations, but it’s appropriate to ask whenever you need them!)

Asking for accommodations can bring up a lot of emotions – stress, embarrassment, shame, fear, anger, guilt.  I think that one massive problem is that we’ve been told that asking for accommodations is asking for some kind of favor or special treatment above and beyond what everyone else gets.  Also, as fat people, we are told that we should simply get thin so that we don’t need the accommodations (which, even if it was likely to work – and it’s not – doesn’t help me fit in that small chair with arms for this office meeting I’m required to attend.)

Let’s examine the situation: There is plenty of evidence to show that people are a variety of sizes for a variety of reasons which are not necessarily within their control and that we have no proven method to change size over the long term.  More importantly, it doesn’t matter why someone is fat or even if it was possible to be thin.  We have every right to exist in our bodies as they are, and we don’t owe the world a body that fits in a restaurant booth. The same goes for people who desire or require accommodations due to physical or mental illness, disability or any other reason.

Asking a business for an accommodation is not asking them for special treatment. It is doing them a favor, and one you shouldn’t have to do.  You are doing them the great courtesy of pointing out something that they probably should have thought of already, or at least should be grateful to know about now. The people who opened that restaurant know that fat people exist and eat out, so why didn’t they make sure to have chairs that fat people can fit in? When the hospital opened to provide healthcare to the community they were aware that the community includes fat people; so please don’t act all surprised and inconvenienced when my fat ass shows up and needs a bed that fits me, you should have ordered that bed when you ordered all the rest of them. If people on the plane who aren’t fat have a seat they can fit into, then when a fat person asks for a seat they can fit into they are not asking for special treatment, they are asking for what everyone else already has.

So what can you do about accommodations?  First, realize that you shouldn’t have to ask for them and that if you do you aren’t doing anything wrong or asking for anything special, you’re doing the business a kindness. They should be embarrassed.  Second, you get to decide how this works depending on how you feel on any given day. Let’s use restaurants for example: If you want to be confrontational you can go into the restaurant and ask for a chair without arms and if they don’t have one then ask for the manager, raise loud hell, start a letter writing campaign etc.  Or, if you’re not up for a fight today you could call the restaurant ahead of time and ask if they have chairs without arms or pick a restaurant that you know works for you.

You can tell the host/ess “Three for a table please” to avoid being seated at a booth. Is there a policy that parties of less than four have to sit in booth?  Well, that policy is for other people – how about we cruise on over to that six top so that I don’t have to eat with my boobs resting on the top of the table and my spleen being compressed, you can take away the three extra chairs. Obviously this isn’t just for fat people – maybe you need a seat out of the sun or close to the entrance, somewhere to put your walker, a table that works with your wheelchair, a place to sit in your class that is not a tiny chair with a connected desk, to not have to sit at a long bench with your table super-close to strangers.  You are paying this business money so making you comfortable should be a primary goal for them, not an inconvenience.  If it’s not, then you get to choose what to do. It turns out that fat money spends the same and so if a business isn’t interested in attracting and keeping me as a customer then I take my money to one that is.

You can also help others out by reviewing businesses (positive or negative) on Is It Ample – a site that is basically Yelp marginalized bodies in the US, including fat bodies, trans bodies, and disabled bodies/bodies with disabilities.

Remember that none of this should be necessary, and each person gets to choose how they handle it in each situation. Whatever decision you make is the right one, as long as it’s the right decision for you.

If you value my work, you can support my ability to do more of it with a one-time contribution or by becoming a member.

Like this blog?  Here’s more cool stuff:

 Wellness for All Bodies Program: A simple, step-by-step, super efficient guide to setting and reaching your health goals from a weight-neutral perspective.  This program can be used by individuals, or by groups, including as a workplace wellness program!
Price: $25.00 ($10 for DancesWithFat members)
Click here for all the details and to register!

Book and Dance Class Sale!  I’m on a journey to complete an IRONMAN triathlon, and I’m having a sale on all my books, DVDs, and digital downloads to help pay for it. You get books and dance classes, I get spandex clothes and bike parts. Everybody wins! If you want, you can check it out here!

Book Me!  I’d love to speak to your organization. You can get more information here or just e-mail me at ragen at danceswithfat dot org!

I’m training for an IRONMAN! You can follow my journey at www.IronFat.com

If you are uncomfortable with my offering things for sale on this site, you are invited to check out this post.

 

 

 

 

Recently I’ve seen a lot of people saying things like “It’s ok to be fat as long as you’re happy with your body”  or “It’s ok to be fat as long as you’re healthy.”  The idea being that if a fat person is not happy with their body, or not healthy (by whatever definition we’re using) then it’s time to try to become thinner. So I’m reposting this post as a reminder of exactly when it’s ok to be fat.

First of all, we know that being unhappy with our bodies and having health issues are not exclusive to fat people – there are people of all sizes who hate their bodies, and people of all sizes with health issues, which means that being thin can neither be a sure preventative, nor a sure cure. The idea that if a thin person is unhappy with their body or is not “healthy” then they should focus on things that would make them happier and/or healthier, but that a fat person in the same situation should focus on being thin is sketchy at best.

And that doesn’t even take into account that the most common outcome of intentional weight loss attempts is weight gain, and thus even if someone thinks that being fat is the problem, recommending intentional weight loss is statistically the worst possible advice.

We live in a world where many National governments (including in the US, my home country) suggest that fat people should be singled out, stereotyped, stigmatized, and blamed for everything from global warming to health care costs (actual evidence be damned.) Under those circumstances, someone being fat and not liking their body isn’t exactly shocking.

The problem, to me, occurs when people (often the same people perpetuating fat hate and stigma) suggest that fat people should try to solve social stigma and oppression by changing our bodies, rather than insisting on an end to stigma and oppression. This is tantamount to telling a kid to give the bullies her lunch money and hope that they stop beating her up (when we know damn well that the bullies will always find another reason to pick a fight after school, and find more and more that they can take. )

As far as health goes, health is an amorphous concept, it is not an obligation or a barometer of worthiness. Nobody, of any size, owes anybody else “health” or “healthy behaviors” by any definition,   Health is also never guaranteed and never entirely within our control.  Genetics and the effects of past behaviors (like repeated dieting attempts!) can affect our health.  Access plays a major part– that includes many things including the ability to get and afford things like evidence-based healthcare, the food we want to eat, and any types of movement that we would like to do (in ways that are both physically and psychologically safe). Finally, the link between weight and health (yes, including our knees) is more complicated than what is often suggested by the media and even healthcare practitioners, and the idea that becoming thin is the same thing as becoming healthy, and that  weight loss behaviors are the same thing as healthy behaviors are simply not supported by the evidence.

The bottom line is that it’s ok to be fat. Full stop. No matter what. It doesn’t matter how you currently feel about your body, or your current health status, it’s still ok to be fat and to not try to become thin.  If we don’t like our fat bodies, we have the option (but never the obligation) of working on loving them as they are.  If we are having health issues, we can research the options for dealing with those issues (including asking our doctors the magic question – “what do you do for thin people with this issue?”)

Each of us gets to make choices for our bodies, and if we want to do something regarding other people’s bodies or health we can work on creating a world without appearance-based stigma, shame, and oppression, (or racism, ableism, homophobia, transphobia, agism, misogyny and other marginalizations) and we can work to make sure that everyone has the food, movement, and healthcare choices that they want available to them.  And then we can mind our own business, because public health should be about making information and options available to the public, and not about making the individual’s health the public’s business.

Nobody has any right to create qualifications for when it is ok for fat people to exist. It is absolutely fine to be fat!

If you value my work, you can support my ability to do more of it with a one-time contribution or by becoming a member.

Like this blog?  Here’s more cool stuff:

 Wellness for All Bodies Program: A simple, step-by-step, super efficient guide to setting and reaching your health goals from a weight-neutral perspective.  This program can be used by individuals, or by groups, including as a workplace wellness program!
Price: $25.00 ($10 for DancesWithFat members)
Click here for all the details and to register!

Book and Dance Class Sale!  I’m on a journey to complete an IRONMAN triathlon, and I’m having a sale on all my books, DVDs, and digital downloads to help pay for it. You get books and dance classes, I get spandex clothes and bike parts. Everybody wins! If you want, you can check it out here!

Book Me!  I’d love to speak to your organization. You can get more information here or just e-mail me at ragen at danceswithfat dot org!

I’m training for an IRONMAN! You can follow my journey at www.IronFat.com

If you are uncomfortable with my offering things for sale on this site, you are invited to check out this post.

 

 

 

I was watching an old episode of Grey’s Anatomy (I think it might even be from the first season.) That illustrates perfectly an issue that is still happening in the double standard of care between thin and fat people.

In the episode, a girl with an extremely critical and overbearing mother is discovered to have gone to Mexico to have secret Weight Loss Surgery. (Note that this practice is still happening, for example, it was recently discovered that the owners of LuLaRoe were profiting from sending fat consultants to Mexico to have their stomachs amputated.)

The players here are: Dr. Bailey, the resident who is supervising Dr. Grey, who is an intern. Claire is the patient. Let’s take it bit by bit.

After discovering that the girl had surgical scars,  Dr. Grey gets the required scans and shows them to Dr. Bailey where they note that she has had a stomach amputation.

Bailey: Is this girl fat?

Grey: Not at all, she’s a normal college kid.

WT Actual F?  “Normal college kid” is not the opposite of “fat girl!” Fat college kids are normal college kids (inasmuch as “normal college kid” is really a thing.)  But it sets up the foundation for the rest of this episode which is something that the brilliant Deb Burgard first pointed out to me – that we prescribe to fat people the same things that we diagnose and treat in thin people.

 

Next we move to a conversation with the parents:

Grey: Gastric bypass is a procedure normally done on obese patients to help them lose weight.

Dad: Claire? She doesn’t need to lose weight.

Mom: Are you kidding? This means the world to her. But it is so typical of this girl to take the easy way out. She’s done it with everything since she was a little kid.

Bailey: Mrs. Rice, nothing about this is going to be easy. She’s gonna face a lifelong struggle with malnutrition unless she has surgery to reverse the procedure.

Note that if the girl was fat, they would not only be fine with a lifelong struggle with malnutrition, they would have recommended the procedure rather than freaking out and insisting it be reversed.

Next Dr. Grey is explaining to Claire that her parents have agreed that the best option is to reverse the surgery and she balks. Dr. Grey explains that there are “serious complications” and says “This is about your health.” Claire responds “But I’d rather be thin.”

This is supremely frustrating to me because when fat people tell doctors that they aren’t interested in being thin if it means risking serious complications, we are scoffed at. But here it’s shown as absolutely tragic that a thin girl would ask for the exact treatment that a fat girl would be pushed to accept.

During the surgery to reverse the procedure the doctors speak to each other:

Bailey: This poor girl, what was she thinking

Grey: She wants her mother’s approval, she wants to please her.

Bailey (sadly): and this damaage is the result?

Again, not to put too fine a point on it, but if a fat girl agreed to undergo this dangerous, often deadly, procedure to please her mother, doctors would congratulate the mom for helping her daughter make the right decision.

Dr. Grey tells Claire’s mom “I think Clarie is killing herself to please you.”

Then Dr. Grey lets Claire know that she’s called social services to help her parents, telling her:

“You don’t know this yet, but life isn’t supposed to be like this. It’s not supposed to be this hard.”

“Killing herself” by having a surgery that is recommended to fat people literally every day. And I can’t help but note that the behavior that we are all supposed to see as overbearing, overly critical, and harmful from Claire’s mom (because it is!) is behavior that is the recommended treatment for fat people, even by (severely misguided) bio-ethicists.

And I’m pretty sure what she meant to say was “life isn’t supposed to be like this FOR THIN PEOPLE. It’s not supposed to be this hard FOR THIN PEOPLE,” because doctors and plenty of other people seem to want life to be precisely this hard for fat people.

I’m here to tell you that if you are a fat person facing medical fatphobia and doctors who would rather risk your life to make most of you disappear, than help you live your best life in a fat body, life ISN’T supposed to be like this. It’s NOT supposed to be this hard. Your body is never the problem, fatphobia always is.

If you value my work, you can support my ability to do more of it with a one-time contribution or by becoming a member.

Like this blog?  Here’s more cool stuff:

 Wellness for All Bodies Program: A simple, step-by-step, super efficient guide to setting and reaching your health goals from a weight-neutral perspective.  This program can be used by individuals, or by groups, including as a workplace wellness program!
Price: $25.00 ($10 for DancesWithFat members)
Click here for all the details and to register!

Book and Dance Class Sale!  I’m on a journey to complete an IRONMAN triathlon, and I’m having a sale on all my books, DVDs, and digital downloads to help pay for it. You get books and dance classes, I get spandex clothes and bike parts. Everybody wins! If you want, you can check it out here!

Book Me!  I’d love to speak to your organization. You can get more information here or just e-mail me at ragen at danceswithfat dot org!

I’m training for an IRONMAN! You can follow my journey at www.IronFat.com

If you are uncomfortable with my offering things for sale on this site, you are invited to check out this post.

 

 

 

More and more we are seeing the suggestion that being fat is connected to having cancer. Some sources lie and say that research shows that being fat causes cancer. Some are slightly less dishonest and claim that being fat is related to higher rates of some cancers. So what is true here? Let’s take a closer look.

What are they actually studying?

These studies look for correlations between larger bodies and types of cancer. Correlation means that the two things often (but not necessarily always) happen at the same time, not that one thing causes the other. In fact, the first thing you learn when you study research is that “correlation never ever, never ever, never ever, implies causation.” That’s because if A and B are correlated, it’s possible that A causes B, it’s possible that B causes A, it’s possible that they are both caused by a third factor, and it’s possible that they are actually unrelated. Implying causation when all you have is correlation is not only unprofessional and unethical, it can be harmful.

What variables aren’t they controlling for?

Studies attempt to control for confounding variables – these are extraneous variables that can ruin the experiment by affecting the variables being studied. In a society rife with weight stigma, where fat people are subject to a government-sponsored “war on obesity” that produces a tremendous amount of shame, stigma, bullying, and oppression, and where fat people are encouraged to diet early and often, there are some variables that can have a major effect on study outcomes that cannot be controlled for. Thus, whenever anyone is studying the “effects” of having a fat body, they are also studying the effects of constant stigma, and the effects of a lifetime of weight cycling (aka yo-yo dieting.)

That means that if something is actually causing a higher cancer risk, it’s just as likely that the culprit is stigma and/or weight cycling, and not body size. If that’s the case then a “public health” message that suggests that fat causes cancer, in a culture where people with health issues are stigmatized, will cause additional stigma and thus more cancer risk. And/or if weight cycling is actually the cause of cancer, recommending that fat people try to become thin(ner) as a way to reduce their cancer risk (when we know that the most likely outcome of dieting is weight-cycling) will actually increase cancer risk – that’s why we have to be extremely careful not to draw conclusions for correlation. The bottom line is that this so-called “public health” message is phenomenally irresponsible.

What Do They Want Us To Do? (Hint: follow the money.)

There isn’t a single study of any intentional weight loss method where more than a tiny fraction of people succeed at significant long-term weight loss. (For more in-depth information about the embarrassing state of weight loss research, check out this piece.) Stomach amputation surgery kills people, and often leaves the survivors with horrific lifelong side effects (you can’t find them in groups with names like “Weight Loss Surgery Ruined My Life.”) So the idea that we should risk our lives purposely create a disease state in our currently healthy digestive system to try to avoid a risk of cancer that may or may not have anything to do with our body size seems ill-advised at best.

If you’re anything like I was, you’ll also be surprised to learn that there is literally NO study that compares formerly fat people who have maintained weight loss to people who were always thin to see if they have similar health outcomes. The study has never been done – partly because there aren’t enough fat people who have maintained weight loss.

As usual, when it comes to the weight loss industry, we just have to follow the money. It turns out that a lot of this research about cancer was funded by weight loss companies, who are now using the research to try to sell their weight loss products. (With thanks to readers Kat and Maria for sending the info on this.)

So What Should We Do?

Just when you thought you were going to get through a post of mine withotut reading this: health is multi-faceted, not an obligation, a barometer of worthiness, not entirely within our control, and not guaranteed under any circumstances. The decision of how highly we prioritize our health and the path we take to get there is intensely personal – and it’s nobody’s business unless we ask them to make it their business. The problem (and the issue that public health needs to focus on) is that currently not everyone has access to the same choices and options because of issues like poverty, oppression, and for-profit healthcare and insurance.

So when it comes to the idea that fatness increases cancer risk, we each have to make our own decisions about what we believe, and how we react.  As for me, I think that bodies come in lots of different sizes for lots of different reasons, and I have not seen any evidence that attempts to manipulate our body size are likely to be effective, and I’ve seen tons of evidence (and my own experience corroborates) that attempts to manipulate body size lead to nothing but yo-yo dieting, and a life that was nothing like any life I would want to live.

Maybe I’m at greater risk for some health issues because I’m fat, but I’m also at greater risk for some health issues because I’m a cis-woman, and because of my genetics, and because of the places that I’ve chosen to live (and the places that I didn’t choose to live as a kid, ) and plenty of other reasons. That’s the way health goes, it’s a moving target and, as much as we’d like to think it was, a lot of it isn’t within our control.

So I’ll put my time and energy into ending medical fatphobia so that doctors will actually give me proper examinations to detect health issues and treat them properly, rather than just diagnosing me as fat and prescribing another diet with absolutely no reason to believe it will help. I’ll put my time and energy into trying to counteract the effects of a fatphobic society I’ll spend my time and energy giving my body my full-throated supported and being clear that, no matter my size, my health, what illnesses I may or may not have or be at risk of having, my level of ability or disability, my body is amazing and worthy of love and care.

If you value my work, you can support my ability to do more of it with a one-time contribution or by becoming a member.

Like this blog?  Here’s more cool stuff:

 Wellness for All Bodies Program: A simple, step-by-step, super efficient guide to setting and reaching your health goals from a weight-neutral perspective.  This program can be used by individuals, or by groups, including as a workplace wellness program!
Price: $25.00 ($10 for DancesWithFat members)
Click here for all the details and to register!

Book and Dance Class Sale!  I’m on a journey to complete an IRONMAN triathlon, and I’m having a sale on all my books, DVDs, and digital downloads to help pay for it. You get books and dance classes, I get spandex clothes and bike parts. Everybody wins! If you want, you can check it out here!

Book Me!  I’d love to speak to your organization. You can get more information here or just e-mail me at ragen at danceswithfat dot org!

I’m training for an IRONMAN! You can follow my journey at www.IronFat.com

If you are uncomfortable with my offering things for sale on this site, you are invited to check out this post.

Bella Miranda has been an all-star cheerleader for five years. That level of cheerleading is elite and requires an almost unbelievable level of athleticism. These cheerleaders are expected to hold other girls on their hands and balance on someone else’s hands while doing feats of flexibility that most people couldn’t do standing on solid ground. They have to dance, jump, do tumbling sequences across the mat that will remind you of the Olympics, and do a standing back tuck, all while smiling and looking like none of it requires any effort at all.

Bella is involved in track and field, volleyball, softball, and cross country. Her current schedule sees her “in track and field at 3:30 p.m., then she goes straight home at 4:00 p.m. to be at the gym at 5:00 p.m. Mondays are 5:00 p.m. to 9:00 p.m. at the [cheerleading] gym, so that’s four hours. She does open gym twice a week. Some days she does private training for two hours. Every day she trains for two to three hours. At home, she does burpees and V-ups and push-ups. She has competitions on weekends.” Her “fitspiration” Instagram account has 17,000 followers.

Bella is also ten years old.

Her mom Carrie, who helps her run the account, says that she wants her daughter to be “a symbol of fitness” and inspiration for other girls who may come across her posts.

Before I break this down, I want to tell you a little something about me. I decided around 5th grade that I wanted to be a professional clarinet player. I practiced for hours every day while also playing soccer and volleyball, being a cheerleader (the regular school sport kind, not an all-star,) taking dance classes, competing in figure skating, singing in choir, acting in school plays, competing in math and science competitions, and getting grades that would eventually make me valedictorian.

I don’t say this to brag (my junior year of college I decided I didn’t want to be a professional clarinet player, but I did get to play Carnegie Hall, so it wasn’t a total bust). I say this to explain that I was also a driven kid, involved in lots of things, and busy all day too, and my mom supported the hell out of my dreams. My issue isn’t that Bella and her mom have decided on this path for now.

And before anybody starts, I have no problem with Bella’s pictures, poses, or what she is wearing in them. If you are sexualizing a ten-year-old, you have a problem, and you need to fix that, like, yesterday. We need to place blame on abusers, and not their victims.

What I want to talk about is the idea that her mom wants Bella to be a “symbol of fitness” and an “inspiration” for other girls. That’s where this whole thing falls right off a cliff.

You can read the rest of the piece here!

If you value my work, you can support my ability to do more of it with a one-time contribution or by becoming a member.

Like this blog?  Here’s more cool stuff:

 Wellness for All Bodies Program: A simple, step-by-step, super efficient guide to setting and reaching your health goals from a weight-neutral perspective.  This program can be used by individuals, or by groups, including as a workplace wellness program!
Price: $25.00 ($10 for DancesWithFat members)
Click here for all the details and to register!

Book and Dance Class Sale!  I’m on a journey to complete an IRONMAN triathlon, and I’m having a sale on all my books, DVDs, and digital downloads to help pay for it. You get books and dance classes, I get spandex clothes and bike parts. Everybody wins! If you want, you can check it out here!

Book Me!  I’d love to speak to your organization. You can get more information here or just e-mail me at ragen at danceswithfat dot org!

I’m training for an IRONMAN! You can follow my journey at www.IronFat.com

If you are uncomfortable with my offering things for sale on this site, you are invited to check out this post.

 

You may remember Dr. Oz from being “flabbergasted” that readily available research exists. Or trying to make the argument that since every fat person on whom he performs open heart surgery has an unhealthy heart, every fat person has an unhealthy heart (apparently he’s cracking the chests of thin people just to declare them healthy and close them back up.)

You may remember him from his ill-advised fat suit exercise, in which he somehow managed to perpetuate fatphobia while claiming to be the victim of fatphobia and not engaging with any actual fat people.

You may also remember him for being called in front of Congress to admit that when he said things like suggesting that green coffee extract was a “magic weight loss cure for every body type” he may have been, you know, completely full of shit. He finally admitted “I recognize they don’t have the scientific muster to present as fact…”

Well, now this bastion of anti-science and anti-honesty has found a champion in donald trump. donald has appointed him to the president’s Council on Sports, Fitness, and Nutrition. To be sure, it’s typical for appointments to this council to be famous people (and not necessarily medical experts,) but they aren’t typically well-known grifters who have been brought before Congress to be scolded for lying to the public.

But such is the nature of this administration and fatphobia in general. Sure, Dr. Oz converted the affection of Oprah into his own show, all while being called out by critics (many of whom are colleagues) for being a total crackpot, but the people he is harming are, by and large, fat people, so he’s been allowed to keep doing it, and is now being elevated to a position in a government that is comfortable spending billions of dollars waging war on fat people that wants us thin or dead, and doesn’t seem to much care which.

So just a reminder that this is not normal. This is not ok. Fat people (and all people, really) deserve better than this.

If you value my work, you can support my ability to do more of it with a one-time contribution or by becoming a member.

Like this blog?  Here’s more cool stuff:

 Wellness for All Bodies Program: A simple, step-by-step, super efficient guide to setting and reaching your health goals from a weight-neutral perspective.  This program can be used by individuals, or by groups, including as a workplace wellness program!
Price: $25.00 ($10 for DancesWithFat members)
Click here for all the details and to register!

Book and Dance Class Sale!  I’m on a journey to complete an IRONMAN triathlon, and I’m having a sale on all my books, DVDs, and digital downloads to help pay for it. You get books and dance classes, I get spandex clothes and bike parts. Everybody wins! If you want, you can check it out here!

Book Me!  I’d love to speak to your organization. You can get more information here or just e-mail me at ragen at danceswithfat dot org!

I’m training for an IRONMAN! You can follow my journey at www.IronFat.com

If you are uncomfortable with my offering things for sale on this site, you are invited to check out this post.