So let’s pretend that losing weight really does solve all of your problems. You get a spouse, a promotion, people like you, your dog stops peeing on the carpet. Everything is great.
But don’t you have to wonder – are you just a couple of cheeseburgers away from losing it all? What if something happens and you gain the weight back (pregnancy, a car accident, a health issue, like 95% of people you aren’t able to maintain your weight loss for five years etc.). Do you suddenly become a country song – you lose your spouse, your job, your friends, your dog reverts to incontinence?
I saw an article recently about a woman who had lost 100 pounds. In the article she said “My boyfriend admits that he wouldn’t have dated me when I looked like that”. It’s certainly her decision to date someone who feels that way about her, I just don’t get it. How is that ok? What if it goes all the way and you marry him – now you have to spend your life being terrified that if something happens to cause you to gain weight you’ll know that your husband doesn’t find you attractive, he’ll likely feel that he has every right to be all over you about your weight since he told you up front that he doesn’t want you if you’re not thin, and you could even end up having to go through the heartbreak of getting divorced. I’d also ask him now about his other deal killers – if he’s so appearance-based in his attraction then how does he feel about gray hair or wrinkles?
If you aren’t as healthy as you want to be, then I would suggest healthy behaviors (new ones and/or more of the ones that you are already doing)– move your body in ways that you enjoy, eat food that nourishes you more of the time. Nobody has ever proven that their diet method leads to long term weight loss – in most cases it’s just the opposite as you end up in a cycle of yo-yo dieting.
I’m incredibly fat and my life is awesome, so it can be done. If there are things that I could have have or achieve, or if there are people who would date me just because my body was a different shape or size, then those things and people are cheap and tawdry and fleeting. I don’t want them and they sure as hell do not deserve me.
In the end of course, as always, the choice is yours.
Dances With Fat 
I’ll second the awesome life here! I once saw Dr. Phil ask an overweight young woman, “don’t you ever want to get married?!” As if being fat keeps you from getting married! I dated a ton and met my husband when I weighed 250 pounds. Since I’ve been married I’ve gained and lost weight, but I always seem to hover right around here. My husband loves me. He fell in love with ME not some glam package.
I’m a pretty cool person, despite the fact that I am overweight. Smart, funny, witty, caring. Will being thinner change that? Probably not. I am who I am.
xo Susie
This reminds me of those bullying fitness trainers. “Do you want to be fat forever? Don’t you want a boy/girlfriend? Don’t you want to have a normal life?” That last question gets me all the time. What does it MEAN to have a normal life? Jeez. Susie, you’re right: I am who I am, and while losing or gaining weight might change my disposition or habits for a while, ME just does into hibernation and doesn’t come out. I don’t like losing weight because of that. ME seems to disappear, and it’s not fun. At all.
I’ve gained at least 60 pounds since I got married 10 years ago. My husbands attitude? “That’s just more of you to love, baby!” He supports what I want to do about my weight and fitness. He’s the most awesome person I’ve ever met (except my daughter 🙂 I never dated a guy who focused on my size, no matter how big I was; that was a personal choice. Life is too short to hang out with people who belittle you.
Someday maybe I’ll write about my big sisters, though. They were the source of many an unhealthy diet for me, growing up. Why would I let them do that to me?
Again I say that your husband sounds awesome and I love what you said about life being too short to hang out with people who belittle you. Sorry about your sisters, I know what it’s like to have family who are less than helpful. Glad that you found people who support you in living an amazing life!